list junk food dressed up for yuppies who are too smart for junk food

Even flank and sirloin aren't kosher. Weird.

Yeah man kosher hot dogs are the bomb for quality but suffer in taste b/c no pork products were harmed in the eating of this dog.

I too wd date Tosches if he were less than thirty years older than me -- but then I wdln't have a choice after the Power of Stare was applied, obv.

I cannot believe that kosher butchering wastes a WHOLE HALF A COW god talk about bad stewardship of resources, but okay go ahead and starve in the desert you legendary dumbasses. At least part of that is because when Jacob wrestled the angel, he was struck in the err thigh and lamed for life...so the part of the cow that corresponds to that tendon and the surrounding human musculature is TREYFE.

According to something else I just read, it's not actually unkosher to eat the hindquarters, it's just really fucking hard to properly kosher the hindquarters so it's usually not done. I do hope they sell the halves to the non-kosher meat plant down the street or something.

but suffer in taste b/c no pork products were harmed in the eating of this dog.

RONG

xpost, Laurel your honorary Jewishness is getting out of hand

My beef with Tosches' VF article:

1) His incorrect presumption that edomae (Tokyo style, nigiri-style) sushi is something with centuries of history (esp. with the middle classes) when edomae sushi is probably 60 years of history with the middle classes in Tokyo, def. post WW2.

2) Therefore spending 1,000 words tracing the roots of sushi in English language publications (wow a Library Of Congress keyword search!).

3) His incorrect presumption that sushi means = raw fish. Sushi = su + shi = su + meishi = vinegar and rice. The kanji (chinese character) for sushi is more like "rice snack" which he does actually find reference to in his Library of Congress search for earliest reference, but he somewhat dismisses because the reference predates edomae sushi and was historically correct, but he's taken an unconsciously ahistorical revisionist angle.

Then there's little matters of cultural translation such as him mistaking someone's politeness as an affirmation of fact, or another's frugalness and value as a wholescale declaration of preference. Including a kaiseki restaurant (one of my faves) as one of the keystones in an article on sushi is a completely ill-advised miss.

Some of that stuff is totally amateurish

i'm gonna read it anyway

It's def. readable, just need to keep some things in mind when he's digging deep in his research googlebar.

Jordan: I have no idea what yr talking about. U meshugga.

Anyway the part about Jake wrestling the angel is pure Old Testament stuff, I learned about that as a good little evangelical long before I got my Honorary Jewess card.

Anyway that's why you can't get a real filet mignon at a kosher steakhouse.

i have been eating a lot more sort of sugary food than usual lately. had this berry + granola + skyr yogurt parfait for lunch, which is basically like having dessert and made me really tired - i should know better!

scott my favorite good food disguised as dessert is fage greek yogurt 0% or 2% with like a little bit of honey and a banana sliced in, maybe some walnuts too. that stuff is great. super rich but low fat, low calorie, high protein.

i like veggie burgers that are made of soy and actual vegetables, though i'm not a fan of those boca vegan fake meat texture things.

i went vegetarian again lately for the most part (other than eating up some frozen fish i already had so as not to waste it) and trying to figure out what to cook that isn't high carb is a challenge - i already make tofu, seitan, tempeh.. what else? i had some natto at a sushi place in georgetown & it was pretty good but i can't seem to find any to buy in the stores

Laurel I just mean you know more about it than I do, cio

Of course I know more about it than you do, I think it's fascinating and has nothing to do with my life and you think it's a plague visited upon you for your mother's sins.

i have never been to a kosher steakhouse!
i don't even know if i've ever been to a steakhouse? (not counting the keg in highschool)

for lunch today i ate a salad of organic mixed greens and some org tofu that i cut up and poured soy sauce, wasibi and sesame oil over and then put in the salad. then i ate half a banana and a few almonds. this is kinda nothing new but it is not junk food health food. now i am writing about anatomy of teh gut.

Sigh. Stewed lentils and an apple. Lunch.

power bars are not candy bars

how much protein is in a snickers

i had a roast beef sandwich for lunch but it was on MULTI-GRAIN bread.

i had fatty roast pork stuffed into a fried sesame pancake with cucumber, carrot, and cilantro. i win!

cilantro = U LOSE

i had some trader joes peanut satay noodles and sauce. 21% of my daily allowance of sodium

excuse me, waiter
i prefer guacamole
sans leafy dish soap

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrobyn, et al

recently ive just been buying a thing of the fresh tofu, pressing the little cakes between some clean towels with one of my bros hueg architecture books, then marinading in tamari, some sort of chili sauce, sesame oil and whatever makes sense for a few hours, then cubing and baking at 400 for 40 minutes. i then toss that over whatever greens for salads for lunches all week...4 bucks total cost, at best...and solidly filling, low fat, low simple carbs, et...

of course, now i just want lauren's lunch...

i did just have two cookies...goddamn this office and its constant supply of baked goods at oppurtune moments

course you could just buy the preped stuff at any asian market, but..

laurel why u hate tasty??

less than $4, i think! tofu=$2, green=$5 for giant tub thing that last several meals!

i also want lauren's lunch

i totally forgot to put cilantro in my salad and i even have it :/

"Initially medical practitioners viewed the stomach as an active, almost thinking agent in the body. Galen saw the stomach as an animate being that could feel its own emptiness and generate the sensation of hunger, writing: 'Nature has granted to the stomach alone and particularly to the parts of it near its mouth the ability to feel a lack which rouses the animal and stimulates it to seek food.'"

O soapy green leaves
once again I extract you
from my burrito

apropos of nothing much, i am in love with the head chef at vanessa's (the dumpling shop). he has long elvis sideburns and wears his paper hat at a jaunty angle. and he makes a mean sesame pancake sandwich.

Of course I know more about it than you do, I think it's fascinating and has nothing to do with my life and you think it's a plague visited upon you for your mother's sins.

Not how I would put it exactly, but OTM :(

Cilantro rulez.

haiku form!
xpost
oh man sesame pancakes and dudes

tall asian vaguely rockabilly dudes + fried sesame pancakes = yay

i'm out of food and still out of money. i'm going to raid my laundry bag in hopes of finding some change then i'll hike down to the produce mart and get some fruit. tomorrow can't come soon enough.

laurel not liking cilantro braek herat.

ha i just googled vanessa's dumpling shop and momus' blog came up!

i must go there regardless.

(i get tofu for a buck, and buy a head of green leaf for another, and some spinachette for about 2...so splitting marinade A dressing over a few weeks/months/other meals, thats 4 a week for me. i usually get something else around 3...today its left over zuccini and a touch of a pork chop...but i eat about 5 small meals a day)

she had stewed lentils for lunch, that pretty much establishes that laurel hates flavor

Oh man you do not know! These are curried lentils with bacon and fresh tomatoes and madras curry and chix stock and I stirred some sour cream in for variation. They are YUM.

!!!

i stand corrected!

i always put coconut milk and curry in my dahl so therefore delicious (i have never called this 'stewed lentils'! maybe it's different somehow)

though bacon, whoa next level

Lauren gave out the recipe! I actually simplified it cos I never have celery, and I think she used better meat (pancetta?). I think mine is a culinary bastard, what with pork AND curry AND sour cream. But I like it.

actually, i used smoked raw bacon from a polish butcher. definitely better than supermarket bacon, and probably cheaper!

but bacon is tasty in almost all guises.

Yeah, I buy Boar's Head so it's at least a reasonable bacon and not like made in a factory. Dice while frozen, brown in bottom of stewpot, add veg, add lentils. Simmer. EAT.

turkey bacon is definitely not bacon, tho. it is greasy, unpalatable reconstituted bird parts, shabbily disguised as the king of foods.

haha, everyone, Laurel has a mouth defect that makes her taste cilantro rong!

(note: not liking cilantro, btw, is sort of unique in the world of not-liking-foods. some people literally taste it WRONG, which is why it tastes all soapy to poor suckers like Laurel and totally fantastic to me. it's actually a taste you'll never acquire, L, cuz yr mouth is broek! you guys probably already knew this, but whatever)

BTW honorary Jews (also people who convert) always know more about Judaism than born Jews, probably for the reason that Laurel said.