DEAR NABISCO

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Who the hell keeps kosher?

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:17 (seventeen years ago) link

are koalas kosher

― UART variations (ex machina), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:19 (seventeen years ago) link

Let's see, they are not pork or shellfish...but I think they count as having cloven feet, so I'm gonna guess no.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:22 (seventeen years ago) link

koalas have toes. does that count as cloven?

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:26 (seventeen years ago) link

I don't know, I don't think anything with toes is kosher! Hold on, I'll look it up.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:28 (seventeen years ago) link

Of the "beasts of the earth" (which basically refers to land mammals with the exception of swarming rodents), you may eat any animal that has cloven hooves and chews its cud. Lev. 11:3; Deut. 14:6. Any land mammal that does not have both of these qualities is forbidden. The Torah specifies that the camel, the rock badger, the hare and the pig are not kosher because each lacks one of these two qualifications. Sheep, cattle, goats and deer are kosher.

http://www.jewfaq.org/kashrut.htm

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:29 (seventeen years ago) link

P.S. here's a cool trick for picking living spaces in the future. Punch your income into a calculator. Press the "minus" button (-). Now punch the rent in and press "equals" (=). A number will display on the screen. If there is a little minus sign in front of that number (-), then don't live there.
-- nabisco (--...), February 2nd, 2007 7:07 PM.

otm

― deej.. (deej..), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:30 (seventeen years ago) link

thanks, laurel. koalas def. not kosher.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:32 (seventeen years ago) link

I always miss nabisco taco nite! :(

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Gross.

― jaymc (jaymc), Friday, 2 February 2007 21:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Who the hell keeps kosher = that other super-drunk girl who hesitant to chow on a nice alcohol-absorbing taco.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 2 February 2007 23:46 (seventeen years ago) link

i think she really needed that taco and i don't think she was hesitant at all but felt the need to say something so she wouldn't feel as guilty!

― he smells something else. he don't smell honey and pears. (tehresa), Friday, 2 February 2007 23:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Ohh, the Natalie Portman-ish one in the crewneck sweater? (As opposed to the Asian one in the 5" heels, natch.)

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 2 February 2007 23:50 (seventeen years ago) link

(I mean, DUH.)

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 2 February 2007 23:51 (seventeen years ago) link

i don't remember asian one in 5" heels, hmm.

r4chel is actually really awesome. she was one of my favorite people to work shows with at the pub.

― he smells something else. he don't smell honey and pears. (tehresa), Saturday, 3 February 2007 00:04 (seventeen years ago) link

why did the sluts take the tacos but not nabisco's heart :(

― UART variations (ex machina), Saturday, 3 February 2007 00:13 (seventeen years ago) link

one month passes...

Dear Nabisco:

You are very OTM here:

GRRRRRRRRRRR okay I'm sorry but I get REALLY sick of that fucking argument, and will not countenance it except maybe from well-meaning 16-year-olds who just had their MINDS BLOWN by the cool English teachers they're going to get their college-app recommendations from, or MAYBE stoned college freshmen just learning the wonders of the Stoner Solipsism Bubble, because at least that's preferable to their getting their Mind Blown Explanation to the Universe(TM) from Ayn Rand or Macro-econ 101.

Our opinions are subjective, no shit; if this makes talking about them an "exercise in futility," then you are claiming that ALL HUMAN COMMUNICATION IS POINTLESS, yes, no point sharing our subjective impressions and comparing them and being interested in other people's and maybe letting other people's subjective impressions influence our own, etc. etc.

And we know for a fact you DON'T BELIEVE THAT, because you've bothered posting to a message board and trying to communicate with other people, beyond which you're STILL ALIVE, and if you honestly believed in such a bullshit anti-human fake-logical position, you would be so much better off just killing yourself and not bothering the rest of us in our alleged Solipsism Bubbles.

P.S. All those caps are not just textual emphasis and are literally me YELLING AT YOU.

nabisco on Monday, March 26, 2007 2:04 PM (31 minutes ago)

But sometimes I wonder why you take the time to type out posts like this? Is it just because you are that passionate about communication? Or are there forces inside you that make it impossible to withold OTMness when it is needed?

Fondly,

-Grady

― g®▲Ðұ, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 00:46 (seventeen years ago) link

haha i'm glad you posted that - b/c it's prob from one of those threads i've never even opened and prob never will

― rrrobyn, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 01:07 (seventeen years ago) link

ah cuttyhorse

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 01:18 (seventeen years ago) link

hahahahaha i forgot abt cuttyhorse
hahaha

― rrrobyn, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 01:22 (seventeen years ago) link

P.S. All those caps are not just textual emphasis and are literally me YELLING AT YOU.

nabisco on Monday, March 26, 2007 2:04 PM (31 minutes ago)

sub-GZeus

― am0n, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 01:28 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Grady,

My delivery food was taking a while, and one of those shows after Everybody Hates Chris was kind of boring.

Also that's like the third annoying new ILM thread-starter this winter to go all smug and fake-clever and trot that out, and yes, I get really worked up about people saying that stuff, and I want to smack them around like unconscious people, because they think it's SO SMART and yet have no idea what they're saying or what it means.

Gratuitously,
Nabisco

― nabisco, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 02:56 (seventeen years ago) link

what food did you get and was it yummy? i had ravioli tonight.

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 03:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Kimchee udon and black milk bubble tea. It was fine -- I think I eat there too often to ever get excited about it.

― nabisco, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 04:06 (seventeen years ago) link

nabisco,

you are somewhat quiet on the topic of cuttyhorse.jpg upthread. can you share your thoughts on the implications of this terrifying leap forward in photoshoppery?

regards,

― haitch, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 04:13 (seventeen years ago) link

when will we see you fap again? i ate a cheeseburger but u were not there!

― JW, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 06:00 (seventeen years ago) link

dear nabisco,

have you read any pragmatists? i thought you may have based on that dero/xgau/etc thread. your posts seem like you went to graduate school or something, but i don't know what you would have studied.

― artdamages, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 11:31 (seventeen years ago) link

dear nabisco --

do you have anything you would like to confess to us?

yours,

mark p.

― ^@^, Tuesday, 27 March 2007 13:36 (seventeen years ago) link

(a) Cuttyhorse.jpg is not a photoshop. You just tell yourself it's photoshopped so you don't have to face the truth, which is that Cutty is some weird kind of vampire that can turn into a horse.

(b) I'll try to FAP this coming month!

(c) I read some pragmatists as an undergrad, and yeah, kinda liked them a lot. I went to grad school over the past few years, but that was for an arts degree (fiction), so I didn't exactly learn any hot philosophical or critical-theoretical science to drop on anyone. Mostly I learned how to spend more than six hours in a row working on writing without going nuts.

(d) Who do I look like, LJ?

― nabisco, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 01:39 (seventeen years ago) link

thanks for the answer nabisco. i think learning to write is one of the best ways to think about things and 'philosophizing' is about the worst and least useful.

― artdamages, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 02:21 (seventeen years ago) link

I learned how to spend more than six hours in a row working on writing without going nuts.

ysi?

― m coleman, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 10:21 (seventeen years ago) link

No, I did not seduce Iman, and I resent the implication.

― nabisco, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 16:53 (seventeen years ago) link

nabisco what is your favorite american indie pop label of all time?

― artdamages, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 17:58 (seventeen years ago) link

I learned how to spend more than six hours in a row working on writing without going nuts.

i call bullshit.

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 18:09 (seventeen years ago) link

unless you were tanked

― strongohulkington, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 18:10 (seventeen years ago) link

i call bullshit too. you guys are on ilm at least ten hours a day. probably 10,000 words a day easy in nabisco's case.

― scott seward, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 18:16 (seventeen years ago) link

- My favorite indiepop label of all time is probably Slumberland.

- Jess, if you're calling bullshit on the "without going crazy" part, I can't necessarily argue. But the six hours bit is ... well, true and non-extraordinary! Keep in mind that writing fiction was 90% of the non-reading work I had to do in grad school, and I needed to produce 20-30 pages of fiction every three weeks, and my primary task in life was to have that fiction be as good as possible. So on the rare days I didn't have work or classes, I could very easily get up, get breakfast, wander around outlining in my head until 2, and then sit down and write straight till 8 or beyond -- interruptions only for peeing, pacing, or maybe a walk around the block to think about what comes next. It would take me at least two sessions like that to get to the end of a short story, and at least one more to revise and finish it. It's not hard or unusual -- plenty of career writers will tell you they put in 3 hours every morning, and plenty of people go on those ridiculous writing sprees where they lock the door for a weekend and come out with a rough draft of a novel.

- Haha Scott my two years of grad school were spent without an internet connection at home! Also for one of them my TV was in the living room and got no reception. I got a lot of work done in those days.

― nabisco, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 18:36 (seventeen years ago) link

i was going to guess SpinArt

― Mr. Que, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 18:37 (seventeen years ago) link

The only other thing I can focus on at that level for that long = making / programming / recording music.

― nabisco, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 18:42 (seventeen years ago) link

nabisco, why have you not posted on this thread. I think whatever you said would be very otm.

― caek, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 18:46 (seventeen years ago) link

Haha I think the only adequate approach to take here is that of Cocorosie's psychologist, who would say that while it's not prohibited for white singers to say "nigger," it is (shall we say) "very very interesting" that one would choose to put it in the song, then have to sing it to groups of people every third night for the next few years, then trade your drum loops for beatboxing from your black backing band (haha then get quoted in infamous "Kill Whitey" article), all leading up to a general chin-scratching steeple-fingered "very interesting, Cocorosie, you are very interested in black people."

nabisco on Wednesday, March 28, 2007 4:54 PM (5 seconds ago)

― and what, Wednesday, 28 March 2007 20:56 (seventeen years ago) link

six months pass...

lol

― cankles, Wednesday, 10 October 2007 22:09 (sixteen years ago) link

two months pass...

Actually, there's a place for preciousness and a place for skeptical snark. Only when the two coincide do you have a problem, and then only when you're on the side of preciousness. In fact, it's fair to say that a process of natural selection has occurred, driving out some of ILX's whimsy in favour of hard fact and mordant wit. There's no denying that a great moment of lightness still has the power to silence the mockers, though. Posters such as estela and nabisco are pass masters at this.

-- Just got offed, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 15:07 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 15:10 (sixteen years ago) link

that last nabisco quote above is A+++

― sleep, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 16:42 (sixteen years ago) link

"pass masters at this"?

― Pashmina, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 16:58 (sixteen years ago) link

http://home.att.net/~chuckayoub/Past_Master_Vol_I.jpg

― max, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 16:58 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Lair/8646/gb/bmc/bmc2.jpg

― Jordan, Wednesday, 19 December 2007 17:03 (sixteen years ago) link

Fight

― PappaWheelie V, Sunday, 23 December 2007 05:11 (sixteen years ago) link

That is pretty cool.

Yes it is.

― nabisco, Sunday, 23 December 2007 08:43 (sixteen years ago) link

one month passes...

hello nabisco,

have you noticed that your first name, pronounced with slightly different vowel sounds, sounds the same as poster BIG HOOS aka the steendriver's original alias, hoosteen? thoughts?

yrs,
max

― max, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 05:02 (sixteen years ago) link

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