Pub names

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The Hostile Return
Beer and Chunks Spittle Palace
The Gaping Maw
Violent Dr. Tremens House of Pees

M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 18 May 2005 21:56 (fourteen years ago) link

Point of order....... The Glotal Stop was recently renamed

The Epiglotal Cack

There was a minor trademark infringement lawsuit from The Global Stop. It is some international shipping firm or some such nonsense. Wankers, all of them!

Carry on......

еdë §téè£ (еdë §téè£), Thursday, 19 May 2005 00:33 (fourteen years ago) link

one year passes...
A publisher has expressed interest in pursuing my pub names gift book idea. His name is Norman Anonymus and normally he prints French pornographic postcards, or cartes postale a la blatte as he likes to say in his rather nacreous voice, but he is keen to "diversify horizontally" into other printed novelties he told me me and my book seems just the thing.

When I agreed to front him $10,000 toward this venture his excitement was a sight to behold, and an aroma to avoid as well, since he hugged my knees and administered several kisses to those parts of my face he could reach by hopping. Did I mention he is a dwarf? No matter. He is very big in the world of French postcards.

My difficulty is that he requires more material and I am too torpid to supply it. I was wondering if I could persuade my fellow Ask-A-Drunkians to do my work for me. Failing that, if you might scourge me out of my torpor, or at least buy me a few drinks. Oh, yes, and I need to borrow $10,000.

Aimless, Saturday, 17 March 2007 17:18 (twelve years ago) link

Quality is not an issue here. For example, Norman was perfectly happy when I suggested a few names such as:

The Supine Muleteer
The Vomit and Sawdust
The Mostly Clean Tablecloth
The Overcharging Cavalier
The Pretend Knocking Shoppe

You see my point, I think. Norman is not overly particular.

Aimless, Saturday, 17 March 2007 17:49 (twelve years ago) link

The Surprised Aardvark
The Swollen Gland
Befuddled Old Sod and Co.
Moist Places in the Carpet
Questionable Morals
Hominy Chunks in Your Hair est. 1867
Ralph's Place, Home of the REAL Spit Polished Shot Glass
Faux Ruby Tuesdays
Alternating Wednesdays
Charley Love You Long Time's
Cheap Watered Down Drinks
The Aftermath Club
Homely Harlots -R- Us
Three Drink Gibberish
The Elf and the Shoehorn
Ramskin Ramitin's
The Copper Condom and Fiddlesticks
Elvira's House of Painful Swallowing
The Erect Steer
Pancake Patty's Passed Puberty Pub
The Outhouse Shower
Oozing Sebum
Tossers Salad Shoppe
Finkdiggles Emporium
Lonely Old Men
Desperation's Revenge
The Shorthandled Toilet Brush
The Pus and Ladle
Dribbleglass
The Sloppy Bunghole
Corkpounders
Bruised Eyelids
Kidneystone Charlies
Maggots in the Middle
Mid Life Crisis
Middlefinger's

On a lighter note....... What would be the "Specialty Drink" for each of the above listed establishments?

еdë §téè£, Monday, 19 March 2007 12:39 (twelve years ago) link

The Boiled Frog
The Hooligan's Piss Pot
Tesco & Barclay's

Aimless, Wednesday, 21 March 2007 17:37 (twelve years ago) link

Upon further thought, The Boiled Owl would be more appropriate.

Aimless, Thursday, 22 March 2007 00:11 (twelve years ago) link

Maybe "The Boiled Owl Pudding " would suffice?

or how about

The Oiled Bowel

еdë §téè£, Thursday, 22 March 2007 01:41 (twelve years ago) link

three years pass...

I sometimes wonder whatever happened to Norman. Does anyone here know where I could lay my hands on him?

Aimless, Thursday, 2 December 2010 21:59 (eight years ago) link

one month passes...

GIS The Labour in Vain - Midlands

Jooones, Friday, 14 January 2011 05:21 (eight years ago) link

If I did so, I fear I would be regaled with the image of a chubby-cheeked barmaid looking for all the world like a Franz Hals portrait, a thought which turns my very guts to water.

Aimless, Sunday, 16 January 2011 18:49 (eight years ago) link

two weeks pass...

I visited "Ye Olde Borrowed Beer" this past weekend and the barmaid was a one legged dwarf.

Sometime around midnight her taller cuter sister must have take over her shift for her......

It just might be love.

I used to be Dude Steel (OldPoster), Thursday, 3 February 2011 22:46 (eight years ago) link


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