Confession time

I have been profoundly unable to derive happiness from almost anything since yesterday morning and I don't know why.

And that's why I'm so fucked up.

i am obsessive compulsive and cannot let things go unresolved.
my parents sadden me and i find it near impossible to do anything that might help me get ahead in life.
I am also vain and think far too highly of myself

I like BurmaKitty and AjaKitty.

I wish I were having casual sex with my ex for the next week, before I go back to New York.

I don't care about some fanzine you're going to write or about the bands you've been in.

I don't really like the taste of alcohol, and I usually get sad when I drink, but I really have no resistance against peer pressure.

http://www.faceparty.com/public/671/images/auspishfish_4585124.jpg

I know it sounds like a pretty minor event, but I've felt guilty about it ever since, and for some reason in the last six months i've been thinking aobut it mroe frequently and feel inexplicably horribly sad every time I do. I tried to make amends by selling it on ebay (it's been in my possession ever since) recently, but the $7.50 I got didn't really help any.

neither of you will ever be allowed into new zealand.

at two times in my life, i have written my own erotic slash fiction. in the high school phase, it starred members of jodeci. in the boring-boyfriend phase, it starred shayne lovecushions carter.

i secretly (not so secret now hey) think that i am a brilliant songwriter (despite some, any or all evidence to the contrary)

i have some extremely leftfield sexual kinks that if you care you can search easily for on this very site

aww thanks dude!

*does so* Says here it involves marshmellow creme?

i eat english doritos even though they say they aren't for vegetarians.

i'm completely nocturnal right now, and my boyfriend is asleep next to me while i'm trying to make myself tired around here...

If I could, I would only consume cookies and milk for a meal. Especially Mrs. Field's freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and the oatmeal raisin cookies I make, and Oak Farms Dairy milk.

I'm unusally good at keeping secrets. In general. Both those told to me and those I choose to hold within me. Unless the "secret" is so obviously not a "secret" anymore.

I get envious of people easily, but there are only a handful of individuals here whom I'm truly envious of. (Only those people whom I've already chosen to reveal anything further to will ever know anything more about that.)

Oh, of course not! Totally Fort Knox up here. *points to brain*

Another confession: I can get massively paranoid. The reason why I'm not asleep at the moment is because I kept on thinking that while I had my eyes closed, someone had broken into my house and wished to do my mother and me harm (and in fact was inflicting harm on my mother at the time). I secretly prayed but it did no good, so I figured I'd best keep awake. These are the nightmares I've faced ever since I can clearly remember (i.e. when I was around four years old).