Shitting Blood: Am I going to die?

(xpost) I'm going to a Job Centre on Monday and know that practically the only "job" to be found in one is likely to be a turd.

just remember- "if anything, i'm maybe too much of a perfectionist" *blart*

maybe you need an ass tampon

Ah, it's only to sign on. They look at my little grey book, get surprised someone they serve has actually applied for jobs, give me a tick and wooooo, lets look at the retarded jobs on offer in yr area! Do you think yr degree has given you the experience to groom dogs?

goddamnit i'm never going back to that motherfucking jobcentre

Full on bleeding, like there is a poop riding the wave out of the elevator in The Shining.

btw still kind of baffled that someone would experience this and wonder "hmm, I wonder if I should go see a doctor re: the deluge of blood that just came out of my ass"

I don't like doctors. Especially if they are going to be putting things in my pooper. Best left alone until an emergancy in my experience and stupidity.

apparently ymmv but any quantity of blood that could be described as being akin to the blood flood from "The Shining" would count as an emergency for me

NOT A DOCTOR BUT

ENBB is probably right: bright red blood means the blood is likely coming from somewhere perianal, not from your gut (which would make your shit black). which likely means: hemorrhoids. yr not gonna die, so don't go rushing to the ER. make an appt with your GP if yr concerned, or sit (lol) it out.

nah emergancy is like losing a limb or something

according to the orthopod that gave a lecture a month ago, even that isn't an (orthopedic) emergency: like keys into a molten river of lava, once you lose your limbs they're probably gone, man

:/

so other than repeat prescriptions i don't really need to see a gp.

stopping the bleeding: emergency
putting it back on: enh

real talk: if you lose a limb the government should provide you with free jetpacks for life

^^worthy of jimmy carr

a hoy hoy, one other possibility is you may have a polyp on yr colon, which is not a serious as it sounds but shld be addressed sooner rather than later

be prepared for the vv. worst if the doc prescribes a barium enema as part of the procedure

Barium? Barium? I haven't even rectum yet.

advice: no more chipotle

^^worthy of jimmy carr

― Ward Fowler, Thursday, 14 January 2010 22:18 (20 minutes ago) Bookmark

ohhhhhh some things should not be said even in jest

^^ review of jimmy carr

collect the blood in a tin and use it to paint a masterpiece titled "Ass Menses"

(jk, go to the doctor)

god DAMNIT

maybe a particularly large bumple poppaged during shart

fucking a

I use to think I was a sick fuck but this thread is like sick fuck delta force

sick fucker; delta farts

Just wait until one of you guys has ass surgery, this bleeding issue becomes REALLY REAL let me tell you.

be prepared for the vv. worst if the doc prescribes a barium enema as part of the procedure

If I hear the words "barium shake" ever again I will barf.

hmm lots of positive input...errr exput....

Went to the doctor Monday after a weekend of it still happening, had to buy suppositories. Not been a fun week for my clenched buttocks. (Have stopped bleeding since Monday though.) (Did not assplode in interview.)

what was the verdict?

'Roids.

heh from doctor or at interview, d'you mean?

there was this one indian buffet near work, which has this special tray that has a sign saying "EXTREMELY HOT" and i ate a load of that stuff and FUCK it was hot. anyway a couple of days later bled like a motherfucker while pooing. shat myself thinking holy shit what the fuck.

thought it might have been the curry, so to isolate the problem a month later (no bleeding since) I tried that curry once more, and HOLY SHIT BLEEDING LIKE A MOFO again. and i was content that it was just the curry burning out my ass. if i don't work in IT support i would have probably approached this whole thing quite differently.

Putting the "sh" in "IT".

I applaud your application of the scientific method to your digestive tract, ken.

the time i dealt with this the doc said "stop drinking so much coffee and whiskey and cut back on the sriracha" and i did for a while and it quit, so the occurence of this may be a digestive thing

But I've become a part time nn, so I don't think it is. Anyway, it stopped and I am fine so

This is, like, the #1 questions I get when people find out I'm a nurse.

Wait, coffee, whiskey, and sriracha can cause that? I live off of those three things!

check yr next poo

might have to start a poo log?

ENBB is probably right: bright red blood means the blood is likely coming from somewhere perianal, not from your gut (which would make your shit black). which likely means: hemorrhoids. yr not gonna die, so don't go rushing to the ER. make an appt with your GP if yr concerned, or sit (lol) it out.

― everybody's into weirdness right now (gbx), Thursday, January 14, 2010 4:03 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

pp had this and it turned out to be colon cancer requiring a colon resection and 6 months of chemo. it probably IS hemorrhoids but you're going to be pissed (oh and dead) if its not and you left it too late to fix.

sorry dont mean to be scary but its an easy enough check. just go to the doc.

check this:

TMI: Colon Cancer

aaaaaaaaaand this is why i should stop posting about medicine on the internet

eep

I went to the doctor and it cleared up. Is pp ok? Oh man ilxers shouldnt be dying, we are better than that.

he is at the 2.5 years post-all clear diagnosis point. they dont consider you 'cured' until 5 years have passed but he is just peachy so far.

Yay, high fives all around.

or i guess high 2.5s

it's so good to be reminded that pp is doing well. my father just got diagnosed this week, so it's scary and :( right now but i do know most people get past this, even though the treatment itself is pretty awful.

well I guess if I'm gonna get one might as well be w/ a doc I've seen since I was 18

oh and my diet is mostly terrible. not going to play it off like I eat a balanced breakfast lunch and dinner

the itching and the lump-esque feeling (ie, sorry to get too TMI, but the feeling of 'having to go' a lil bit when there's nothing there) suggest to me that this is an internal 'roid. ugh.

:(

word to the wise, when yr body says "I'M FUKKIN THIRSTY", don't respond by drinking half a glass of water over the next 30 hours

didn't happen again, and in fact symptoms subsided. though not being used to hemorrhoids, had the bright idea to eat about 20 spicy wings last night.

pain. such pain.

btw never get this
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002487/#adam_001519.disease.causes

And definitely not one of these
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0003018/

yeeeech at both

y'know applying prep h is kinda icky but damn if it doesn't work

god why do roids show up at precisely the worst moments. tho I suppose there isn't a 'convenient' time since one always sits

wanting to try the hardcore medical probiotic VSL3 for my slowly worsening crohn's but jesus how can I afford it