As my granny used to say.....

We say this too. You don't run errands here, you go out for a message. And groceries are messages.

Is 'beastie' universal for insect?

Peely Wally = probably my favourite Scots phrase ever

"Ya dirty bissum ye've skittered yer breeks"

Oos - fluff

it's never occurred to me that this is anything other than the queen's proper english.

I always imagined this is just "miraculous" as in "It's miraculous that he's still standing"

er, yes. me too. and my pocket scots dictionary agrees.

getting "messages" and also a "carry-oot" caused me no end of grief when i came to scotland; the former i just didn't understand, and the latter i assumed involved food, not liquid.

mädchen: my scots dictionary doesn't have stobies or stogies. you don't make stovies from slaters, do you? :)

Baffies anyone?

Oh, I love that one too

baldie a haircut "thats some baldie you've got by the way"
juke the inside of your coat/jacket etc. "quick stick it up yer juke!"
shatter someone who has no guts i.e. they shit themselves at the smallest sign of danger
burr dingy i don't believe you

chib - a weapon of indefinable nature (plus can be used as a verb too)

they also use kets for sweets. eg: "howay man, gonna giz yer kets before ah hoof ye in the knackaz?"

(apologies to viz)

RUNNY

is a great word.

When translated to, say, Harald Brattbakk or some other diddy footballer in Scotland, this becomes "he couldnae hit a coo's erse wi' a banjo" which is much more evocative.

Re: Peely-wally, when they announced a concert in memory of John Peel, the Daily Record ran with the headline "Peely Rally", which had me roffling. Or pishing ma keks, if you prefer.

Ooh, just remembered another cracker - ganting which is like desperate/gasping for something "Ah wis pure ganting for a pint/shag/deep fried Mars Bar" etc.

My dad also used to refer to the nastier variety of lucky gits as "snottery orphan"s - generally directed at sporting people who were undeniably good but very dull, therefore worthy of ridicule anyway (top recipient of this insult would have been Steve Davis). I think it showed a grudging respect rather than being an insult. I haven't heard him say it for years, so I think he may have invented it to stop himself swearing in front of his impressionable young childrem.

stet's dad could presumably also fall in a bucket of shit and come up smelling of roses, especially in (the north-west of?) england.

where do people (scots esp) stand on the drop scone/pancake debate? my mum used to make drop scones and call them pancakes, which confused me no end (and led to severe public humiliation from a teacher one sad shrove tuesday).

My grandparents say this as does my mother.

we should rectify this with some kind of GLASGOW PANCAKE FAP. or something.

It's smaller and thicker! My gran would be spinning in her grave if she heard people confusing the two.

And are those big flat ones with the dimples in them crumpets to you?

Did anybodies parents ever talk about having a 'piece on sugar?' Christ, no wonder our oral health is so bad.