Worst TV adverts of the moment

My flamate laughs a lot at the Co-op sheep too.

isn't it Woolworths?

I don't know, perhaps there are a lot of talking and singing sheep at the moment. Perhaps they're the latest monkeys. But the one I'm talking about it definitely Co-op. They're throwing all the GM products and additives out of the shop, with pigs. Actually, the pigs are all right.

That bacterial woman used to drink in the Phoenix a lot around the time when I was drinking in the Phoenix a lot and, for that matter, drinking a lot in the Phoenix

rock and roll pigs!

The Post Office one where the child-ants play at having road rage makes me lose the will to live.

The Red Bull ads have been the worst on TV for at least five years.

Vernon Kay .............................. need I elaborate?

That ad is awesome!

Except it makes me sad that Girls & Boys was cancelled.

You're very strange.

You mean the one where he says, "I love a Brazilian, me" - have you taken leave of your senses sir!!!!!!!!

It's only a bit of fun!

It's PURE EVIL

That's what Hitler said.

xpost

that mcdonald's (i think) ad where the dudes are playing poker with french fries really makes me cringe. something about that winning player's gestures and expressions really hurts me physically to watch.

"HAVE BREAKFAST WITH THE KING"

Oh! That Timotei advert where the naked girl has stolen the guys towel (just recently washed), and his shirt, but she can't get her hands on his timotei. I hate these couples that are so comfortable with each other that they can walk around naked all the time.

That's quite normal, jel.

OK, not 'all the time'.

I know, but I'm really pleased clothes were invented.

Anyway, that's the Head & Shoulders one I already mentioned, isn't it? Not Timotei.

Oh yeah! See, I couldn't remember the product!

Sorry N.

Sorry Timotei.

I don't like that new Calvin Klien cinema ad, which goes on about not showwing logos and slogans. I am assuming it's Calvin Klien, it could be Kellogs for all I know.

Yes, that one is awful. I'd forgotten it.

I thought it was French Connection, to be honest. Do we know who it is?

O NO WE ARE TALKING ABOUT TEH GUERILLA ADVERTISING!!!!!!1!

Fool!

who fives a FCUK!

I'm not allowed to correct typos anymore.

(I love to picture the advertising execs cackling from on high "HA HA! See how we have swallowed you up and spewed you out as a killer campaign, Naomi!")

However, we can counter their fiendish tactics by only buying products from Jigsaw, or Donna Karan, or Nabisco! We cannot be outfoxxed!

There's one for deoderant where the couple (in immaculate white underwear) chase each other around the house pretending to spray each other.

Why don't my boyfriend and I do that? It looks like so much FUN. Mind you, who sprays on deoderant in their bra?

If you set alight to the can it's even more fun.

And the 118 runners should be confined to history now. I can not abide their wackiness any longer.

What about that shit one for retractable awnings? WTF? It's always on in the afternoon along with the conservatory blinds ones.

Remember the Oreck vacuum cleaner? "I can hold a bowling ball above my head with the powerful suction" - Quick! Switch off the power!

In that Head and Shoulders ad I keep on imagining the guy saying

"But there's one thing I wont let her touch, MY COCK!!!!!!!!!!"

You know when the guys have a fenderbender, and then the guy is suspiciously happy, and the one guy says to the other guy: "You gellin'?" And the guy nods and says "Like Magellen." They mean Magellen the explorer? Was he famous for gellin'? WHAT THE FUCK.

It's entirely possible that this is discussed upthread, but I became infuriated after just a handful of posts here, because they were making me think of brutal ads, and had to skip straight to the bottom.

I too loathe the "gellin'" ad.

But the one that's especially givin' me a headache these days -- played often on CNN and MSNBC (which we have our sets glued to here at the office) is one of IHOP's spicy popcorn shrip. The scenario is a popcorn-shrimp obsessed gym instructor who's strenuously leading his class through some shrimp-centric excercises while bemused muscleheads look on. What makes it so irritating is the instructor's SHRILL fuckin' castigations: "TAKE IT, AND DIP IT, AND DUNK IT, OOOOH YEAH THAT'S RIGHT, TAKE IT AND DIP IT...!" It's exceptionally migraine-inducing.

(Okay, stepping slowly away from Alex here....)

I totally hate the Sears ad campaign starring Ty Pennington. I mean, not only is Ty Pennington one of the butt-ugliest guys ever to walk this planet, but the whole of the ad campaign is uselessly stereotypical and pro-breeder. Which is a shame because I actually really like Sears (i.e. my "high end" clothing store), but hey, I'd like for once for Sears to advertise a woman checking out miter saws and a man ogling the selection of dress slacks, end of ad. No kids. And no Ty Pennington.

Also on my "I can't believe they expect me to choke this down" list:

The Nutri-Grain fruit bar commercial with the moving signs. You know a commercial has failed miserably when it compels you to turn the channel at the moment you see it start to come on.

The McDonald's chicken selects commercials. i.e., "Making Paranoid Schizophrenia Marketable 101"!

Any Total cereal commerical. "Provides you with 100% of the recommended daily amount of [x number of] vitamins and minerals in one bowl!" Um, have these people heard of the concept of THREE MEALS A DAY? Unless all you're going to be eating throughout the day is that one lousy bowl of cereal (in which case, wise nutritional choices are not going to be the strongest of your suits), you don't NEED to worry about getting ALL of the RDA of ANY of the vitamins and minerals recommended for keeping up a healthy diet!

Any commercial where someone goes through a fast-food drive-thru and makes fun of the teenaged kid making $5 an hour on the other side of the mic. Hey, asshole, did you really think that you were going to get a deli sub at fucking Jack in the Box? I hope Jared chokes to death on one of those cardboard Subway sandwiches.

i can't believe no-one's mentioned that c*$t michael winner's ad for whatever it is with that stupid bimbo saying "i'm not your sister dummy" when HE'S NOT EVEN SAYING SHE IS! and even more excruciatingly horrific is the follow up where an actual family are copying aforementioned ad and saying to each other "hello mum!" and guffawing like it's some kind of cult ad that has the whole country running around like twats impersonating michael winner and stupid bimbo. god, maybe i just don't get it.

Calm down dear, it's a commercial.

Oh my DAYS! I can't work out whether that new Honda ad is genius or just insanity or just awful. All I know that after eating some Thai shrooms on Saturday night and having a bunch of rabbits firing multicoloured stars out of cannons to spell the word "HATE" appear on my screen nearly made my head explode.

There's some other car advert with a bunch of tortoises crawling along - what's that about? Is it saying there car is durable but slow as fuck?

I used to love the cleverness of TV ads, but now it seems the only message is "Our product is so awesome it will make you act like the biggest asshole on the planet. You won't even be able to control yourself — how awesome is that! Buy it!" The shoe commercial where the guy loves running so much he runs all over people in the park, including stomping on the spread at the picnic table, was the last straw. It really pissed me off that it was set to a great Kinks song, too.

Honda ad = k-great, Dogg. They're the best advertisers by a country mile at the moment.

I haven't seen this follow-up Michael Winner ad. FWIW, First Alternative refused to insure me because I work in television. Cunts.

Has no-one mentioned the soulful KFC ad? It'll turn you black!

good choices of music, which i don't really have a problem with (if you're fickle enough to be sold a product because of the song then you deserve to waste your money on said product haha)