Favorite lines from Seinfeld?

Woman - "What's ironic?"

Elaine - "This. That we've come all this way, we made all this progress, but, you know, we lost the little things, the niceties."

Woman - "No, I mean, what does `ironic' mean?

Jerry: We're four months apart!

George: Nevertheless.

(possibly botched from memory)

"I've always wanted to pretend to be an architect."

"I'm sorry but I'm not at home,
Please leave a message, after the tone,
I'm not here or I'd answer the phone,
Where could I beeeee???"

Absolutely my favourite bit ever. Or at least in the top 10.

Jerry: So were going to make the Post Office pay for my new stereo?

Kramer: It's just a writeoff for them.

Jerry: How is it a writeoff?

Kramer: They just write it off.

Jerry: Write it off what?

Kramer: Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything.

Jerry: You don't even know what a writeoff is.

Kramer: Do you?

Jerry: No. I don't.

Kramer: But they do, and they are the ones writing it off.

(Kramer leaves.)

Jerry: I wish I just had the last twenty seconds of my life back.

-You look taller
-Timberlands

George: "You can stick your 'sorry's in a sock!"

__

Elaine: "Don't worry, Jerry, it's in the vault."

Jerry: "No good. Too many people know the combination." (makes alcohol swigging motion)

__

Kramer with the lollypop getting bigger throughout the episode, too, was a nice touch. "FDR wants me dead."

"Well, it's my job and I'm pretty damn serious about it. In addition to being a postmaster, I'm also a general. And we both know, it's the job of a general to, by God, get things done. So maybe you can understand why I get a little irritated when someone calls me away from my golf."

This is just plain wrong. I recently watched the whole series from start to finish over a period of two weeks and there is definite, if subtle, character development.

woman on subway: "really?"

george: "well, they hurt him bad. really... hurt his feelings".

*****************

kramer: "i mean, isn't there like statue of limitations on that?

jerry: "statute."

kramer: "what?"

jerry: "statute of limitations. It's not a statue."

kramer: "no, it's statue."

jerry: "fine, it's a sculpture of limitations."

kramer: "just wait a minute...elaine, elaine! now you're smart, is it statue or statute of limitations?"

elaine: "statuTE."

kramer: "oh, I really think you're wrong."

Girlfriend: There's food all over this test, where'd you get it?
George: From my pocket.
Girlfriend: And there's coffee on it, where'd you get that?
George: From the coffee shop
Girlfriend: But I didn't see you leave. I was by the door the entire time.
George: The door? Why would I use the door when there's a perfectly good window right here?

J:"Yeah, like Bizarro Superman, Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards Bizarro world. Up is down, down is up, he says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives."

E:"Shouldn't he say badbye? Isn't that the opposite of goodbye?"

J:"No, it's still goodbye."

E:"Does he live underwater?"

J:"No."

E:"Is he black?"

J:"Look, just forget the whole thing."

J:"Undateable!"

E:"But people meet all the time. How do you explain that?"

J:"Alcohol."

does zemko still not like seinfeld?

KRAMER: Uh, yes, most likely, yes. I'm, uh, H.E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy industrialist and philanthropist and, uh, a bicyclist. And, um, yes, I'm looking for a place where I can settle down with my, uh, peculiar habits, and, uh, the women that I frequent with. (sniffing wall) Mmm. Mombassa, hmm?

SALES WOMAN: The asking price is $1.5 million.

KRAMER: Oh, I spend that much on after shave. Yes, I buy and sell men like myself every day. Now, I assume that there's a waterfall grotto?

and "Tomato sauce"