wtf, CNN.com

Other currently developing love stories that apparently weren't important enough to be marked as the top story:

National Day on Prayer
Democrats on Iraq
McCain campaigns in Cleveland

http://img33.picoodle.com/img/img33/4/5/1/f_treem_29b6a94.jpg

I was going to post yesterday that I could get a lovely shirt with a headline about a dead child

Very Butthole Surfers.

roffle

there should be an all-pelican-and-grapefruit channel

I DIED OTM. I await Obama's book about the experience.

Comment submitted to be read live on-air:

I, for one, would like to know the pelican's position on the gas tax holiday.

the audacity of trees

if u dont care about pelicans then u are letting the terrists win.

the audacity of trees

That could seriously be a Pelican album title.

what are the pelican's flaws?

gets stuck in trees

how does an creature granted with the gift of flight get stuck in a tree? is it lazy?

an -> a

i think we all need to know what pelican's pastor thinks.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3068/2457097242_ed0e27107c_o.jpg

UPDATE

The full context is super-roffly; look at the videos they decided not to lead with in favor of the pelican story:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3123/2457097264_932e6aa5e3_o.jpg

By the time this is all done the bill is going to be huge.

lolololol they are now showing Obama speaking about race and the economy, still under the headline "Pelican stuck in tree"

omgosh

bah, they fixed it

I can't imagine being the editor that said "let's go with the tree pelican over BABIES TOSSED OFF 50-FOOT TOWER FOR LUCK"

lolololol they are now showing Obama speaking about race and the economy, still under the headline "Pelican stuck in tree"

NEW CAMPAIGN METAPHOR

Guys, it's contagious: as I'm typing this, the BBC (BBC 2 TV) have a graphologist analyzing this year's Snooker world championship quarter finalists' handwriting.

Recuers?

baby tossing footage is mind-blowing

"no, no, no oh shit they're not really oh shit they are HEY THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN"

the bouncing, not the dropping

Which would you rather do this weekend?
Play "Grand Theft Auto IV" 8%
Watch "Iron Man" 15%
Both 4%
Neither 72%

lol, CNN.com didn't count on the silent "Not A Big Fucking Nerd" majority

Which would you rather do this weekend?
Get stuck in tree 8%
Drop babies for luck 15%
17 minutes, 4 seconds - no breathing 4%
Don't let a hospital kill you 72%

WHO RECUE ME FROM HOSPITAL DEATH?

So is the pelican okay? PLZ let me know soon cause I gotta go camp out for Iron Man tix...

Sign up for instant pelican updates on your phone and you'll not have to worry.

Opportunity!

Firefox can't find the server at www.treestrandedpelican.com

I just searched for news on the pelican because I'm on the edge of my seat here. All I found was this thread.

Is SOMEONE chucking live fish up to it? Please, a firefighter helicopter needs to drop buckets of live fish over this tree.

Prosty the Spokesgland

Pelican Prosty

the stranded spokesfowl

when's the news conference- i need a pelican brief

how does an creature granted with the gift of flight get stuck in a tree? is it lazy?

-- kingfish, Thursday, May 1, 2008 2:37 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.alpacino.ws/img/ap_head.jpg

Fly, Pelican, Fly!

DANIA BEACH, Fla. -- Firefighters had to rescue a pelican that was dangling from a tree about 50 feet in the air Thursday.

The pelican was hanging upside down by its wing from some monofilament line in an Australian pine tree near the Dania Beach pier.

Beachgoer Sharon Schultz spotted the pelican Thursday morning.

"At first I thought he was dead, and I came and looked closer and he was struggling," Schultz said.

Schultz said she went to the pier for help and was told the bird had been hanging there since Tuesday. She was also told that a wildlife group had already come, but she was incensed by what she perceived to be a lack of sympathy for the animal.

"They said it was dead," Schultz said. "They weren't going to do nothing about it, so I called (Local) 10. I didn't know what else to do, and now everybody's here to get the bird out of the tree. That's all I wanted."

Hollywood firefighters used a ladder truck to rescue the bird. They snipped the wire and brought it down safely.

http://www.local10.com/2008/0501/16107543.jpg

not so funny now, is it fuckers?

dangling pelican vs dangling Reverend

poor poor pelican

They could have leaned a little harder on the "psychos think it's cool to leave dead birds hanging from trees for days" angle.

rolling marine critters in distress thread:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/04/30/AR2008043003189_pf.html

White house to endangered whales - eat it, suckers!

More like pelican't, amirite?

rolling marine critters in distress thread:

yeah that's not the title
if I wanted to hear about the fucking white house I wouldn't be looking at cnn.com now would I

https://media.giphy.com/media/QQZgTehcKrD2w/giphy.gif

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/etienne_saint/CAE4C5EB-8BA2-40EC-BBBE-C9F9229AACD5_zpsmzaigtgr.jpeg

https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/10/opinions/look-out-trump-china-is-stealing-africa-opinion-intl/index.html

renormalizing colonialism ... or maybe i guess just straight up admitting it never went out of style?

https://www-m.cnn.com/2019/06/21/health/young-people-horn-skulls-trnd/index.html

https://nypost.com/2020/07/08/cant-get-a-facial-in-lockdown-try-a-butt-one-instead/

try a butt one

TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD

Client Marian Shelley, 33, recently had her first booty facial and called it “luxurious.”

Got rid of the bootyflakez

i still can't get this out of my head

TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD

is the maintenance visit for this butt facial, a couple of weeks later, called a rebuttal?

hey let’s all be cool and try a butt one

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/tentacles-manhattan-da-s-trump-probe-reach-former-bodyguard-calamari-n1271940

Tentacles of Manhattan DA's Trump probe reach former bodyguard Calamari

hah

This is the lead story on the entertainment page today:

https://www.cnn.com/2021/08/04/entertainment/lizzo-chris-evans-trnd/index.html

Clearly wtf, but also how great would it be if Lizzo and Chris Evans actually did have a baby together?

also I am still back on the booty facial

imagining Project Pat's voice chanting

TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD
TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD
TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD
TRY A BUTT ONE INSTEAD

https://www.spokesman.com/stories/2021/jul/15/little-red-corvette-hit-by-car-going-much-too-fast/

that gets a well-earned groan

https://i.imgur.com/LAmEzPN.jpg

hard go out there for a deaf kitty

try a butt one

guys i’ve tried so hard to get a facial in lockdown but i just can’t

so i’m going to try a butt one instead

Is it… a buttial?

big news on CNN.com

In the spotlight: Taylor Lautner makes rare comment about ex Taylor Swift that leaves his wife 'deceased'

CNN —

This is a true tale of Taylors, as actor Taylor Lautner’s wife, Taylor Dome, was all of us with her reaction to him spilling tea about that infamous Taylor Swift and Kanye West MTV VMAs moment.

In a video from their podcast “The Squeeze” posted Wednesday on Tik Tok, Dome asked Lautner, “If you could go back to one moment in your life, what moment would that be and what would you say to yourself?”

“Probably the 2009 VMAs, when I presented the award to Taylor and was unaware that the Kanye thing was not a skit,” he said, causing Dome to literally fall back in surprise and say, “I’m deceased.”

big if true

a tale of tres taylors

should try a butt one that might bring her back to life

I am DELIGHTED that this thread was bumped for this non-story, I have been laughing at it since I saw it

you are all of us with your reaction to taylor dome's reaction to him spilling tea

one taylor i never knew existed, one taylor i forgot existed, and another taylor over there saying "whaddya want from me?"

Black to the bone, my home is your home
So welcome to the Taylordome

the version i read said “causing his Dome to fall back” … got a snicker out of that

https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/02/02/entertainment/taylor-lautner-taylor-swift/index.html

Video: Here's how US presidents would look with a mullet

this CNN article now includes a link to where you can find more information about the felonies the shooter was charged with, and the link is to the article you're already reading:

https://www.cnn.com/2023/04/17/us/kansas-city-teen-shot-wrong-house/index.html

way to humanize seditious conspirators in a hate group

https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/09/politics/proud-boys-trial-notes/index.html

https://i.cbc.ca/1.6825580.1682689138!/fileImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/original_1180/iceberg.jpg

A man from Dildo, N.L., has captured the attention of iceberg lovers after photographing an oddly shaped hunk — now popularly known as the "dickie berg" on social media — off the coast of Newfoundland.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/oddly-shaped-iceberg-nl-1.6825578

come on

wahey. i can confirm, it's real

wanna buy some soap?

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/nl-dickie-berg-soap-1.6906735