ZING!!!

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (119 of them)
dude is this what you are writing a personal statement for? i will email you the one i wrote later tonight, it is a huge pile of melodramatic lying horseshit that apparently made them want to meet me and quote me for some thing. they have no standards, you'll totally get in, seriously. i mean my roommate and i are both high school drop outs. apparently that is not like some kind of deterrent to admission here.

Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 17:10 (fifteen years ago) link

yes, I guess that is what I am writing the personal statement for.

adam. (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 17:11 (fifteen years ago) link

HEH, SO FASHION. HEH.

caitlin hell (caitxa), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 23:16 (fifteen years ago) link

OVERHEARD TODAY IN CLASS:

WEIRD INDIE TYPE GIRL WITH EMO BUTT TALKING TO TWO JOCK GUYS: I regained my virginity on the internet, actually.

Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 23:22 (fifteen years ago) link

ANYONE ELSE HERE OWN A COPY OF A CRACK UP AT THE RACE RIOTS?

AaronHz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 23:46 (fifteen years ago) link

what is emo butt? saggy, frowning?

caitlin hell (caitxa), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 23:47 (fifteen years ago) link

no butt?

latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 23:51 (fifteen years ago) link

ENO butt is ambient

latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 23:52 (fifteen years ago) link

Is it kinda like plumber's crack?

AaronHz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 23:53 (fifteen years ago) link

what if i have emo butt? :((((((((((

caitlin hell (caitxa), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 23:53 (fifteen years ago) link

Eno creates new frictions

AaronHz (AaronHz), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 23:55 (fifteen years ago) link

Eno: Naked and Neurotic
Twelve years of convent schooling with the Sisters of Mercy had not prepared the intrepid CREEM photog for her first plunge into the realm of hi-gloss soft porn snap shooting. Following the "hello-how-a'yas," Eno's publicist Simon Puxley hopefully queried, "Would you like to take some nude photos of Eno as test shots for Viva?

Not that Eno will drop his bottoms for everyone. But since Viva expressed a great desire to see him au naturel, flashed in fleshy colour gloss across their centrefold, Eno decided to comply. Being a leader in the avant garde (and in this case, garde derriere), after conceptual art, musique concrete and Roxy, there was no new world left for the irrepressible Eno to conquer save Beefcake.

Magazine history could not be denied Eno chic to cheek. "I could never do this for a male photographer - I'd be too embarrassed. Don't be coy, thousands have seen me naked."

As Ian Hunter says in Diary of a Rock and Roll Star, the human bod, undraped, by light of sun is a pretty mundane shell, downright grotty and un-erotic. There was something R. Crumbian comic in seeing Eno traipse the length and breadth of the room, wearing naught but a Registered Cult Figure tee shirt, his manhood flouncing jauntily in the breeze, wondering what poses he could effect that "aren't neurotic."

The session hit a crescendo of surrealistica as Eno began twisting like a pretzel, saying, straight-faced: "Get a bun shot." After suggesting that he be photographed spread-eagle "with all my rudeness showing," Simon reminded Eno, who seemed a trifle hurt, that Viva didn't care about his genitalia, just his supple Grecian bod. He ran the gamut of tease poses: Eno teething fetchingly on a sheet, Eno fingering a glass of white wine "decadently," Eno calling some girl on the phone whilst naked. After sprawling on his tummy, Eno was in a mild state of arousal. "Forgive me if I have a hard-on; it is certainly the way of nature. I can't sit up," he moaned.

"Yes, Viva doesn't like erections," Simon thoughtfully mulled, "but they're only test shots."

"I'll cover it with a book," which Eno did unil he was once again discreet.

How was he coming up to snuff? Would he make the grade and join Fabian and Lyle Waggoner and even, fer chrissakes, John Davidson? "I have lovely shoulders in rock and roll, and quite a nice face..." scanning down the expanse of his fleshoid buff. "I'm quite pleased with myself... except for my knees; I have knobbly knees. They won't reject me for my knees, will they? Yes, my knees and my FEET. I hate my feet; they're always cold. The only time my feet aren't cold is when I make love, which I do all the time. I only make love to keep my feet warm."

Unless Viva picks up on a good thing, all the Eno anyone will ever see, celuloid speaking, is the contact sheet under the photog's mattress. Eno'd like to keep it that way. He had an unpleasant run-in with a male groupie ("They're of even less use than female ones"), and threatened, with a crack of doom, "If these pictures ever find their way into any gay magazines" (mustering bile and bluster and pointing at the photog) "I'll break your glasses!" Eno's a man of his word, and you can never tell into whose hands CREEM will fall, can you?

latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 23:58 (fifteen years ago) link

AaronHzILX: Hi ally, what exactly is emobutt? we must know.
Garance80: the butt that the girls get from sitting around listening to bright eyes and not going dancing
AaronHzILX: hahahahaha
AaronHzILX: excellent

AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 00:15 (fifteen years ago) link

Yeah Aaron I have that book and IT ROCKS.

why do old people and old users of ILX such bastardos (deangulberry), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 00:27 (fifteen years ago) link

oh yeah i was reading the thread about jon william's shunning some bitchfaced and i forgot to read this thread whoops sorry about emobutt confusion i'm sure there are no noize people with emobutt.

Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 00:37 (fifteen years ago) link

Hardy: Once I raped my landlord after I escorted her home from church one evening.

Laurel: Oh Hardy, that is so shameful.

Hardy: Afterwards she made me tea.

(Laurel walks to the open window and leaps out of the fire escape. When he hits the concrete, he shatters both his ankles.)

AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 00:44 (fifteen years ago) link

hahaha "mc hammer age 11". you know the book is gonna rule as soon as you open it up and see that.

AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 00:53 (fifteen years ago) link

I like the suicide notes.

AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 00:53 (fifteen years ago) link

"Mother, I am in love with you..."

AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 01:02 (fifteen years ago) link

three months pass...
HOW FUNNY

I was going to ask how long it would take Jon to delete that thread about Wayne! But I forgot! Doesn't matter, because the answer was 15 minutes!

MAYAHAHA

mayahee, mayahoo, mayaha, mayahaha (deangulberry), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 06:51 (fourteen years ago) link

ok someone like a couple days ago i overheard them say this:

Didn't he used to be...a French???

?

Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 06:53 (fourteen years ago) link

Wayne is French?

mayahee, mayahoo, mayaha, mayahaha (deangulberry), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 06:53 (fourteen years ago) link

tickler?

msp (msp), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 07:13 (fourteen years ago) link

mayahahahahahahahahahahaha!

hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 11:58 (fourteen years ago) link

U ALL PWNED ME, SHIT

Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 02:29 (fourteen years ago) link

WE KID BECAUSE WE LOVE

mayahee, mayahoo, mayaha, mayahaha (deangulberry), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 02:30 (fourteen years ago) link

WE LOVE BECAUSE WE KID

cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 02:36 (fourteen years ago) link

I KNOW, THAT'S WHY I LOVE U GUYS

seriously tho what does that mean, "he used to be...a french"?

Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 02:38 (fourteen years ago) link

my iq has dropped about 20 points already this year, i can feel it.

Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 02:39 (fourteen years ago) link

tombot's influence, obv.

cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 02:40 (fourteen years ago) link

ZING

Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 02:41 (fourteen years ago) link

OY VEYZING

cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 02:42 (fourteen years ago) link

WOW YOU SURE HAVE A LOT OF "...FOR DUMMIES" BOOKS

cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 02:43 (fourteen years ago) link

that is NOT my house.

Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 02:50 (fourteen years ago) link

BOOKS FOR DUMMIES

MAYAHAHA

mayahee, mayahoo, mayaha, mayahaha (deangulberry), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 02:54 (fourteen years ago) link

god i didn't even notice how many "for dummies" and "...made simple" books are on that bookshelf. wtf??!?

Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 03:05 (fourteen years ago) link

ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS LOOK TO YOUR RIGHT

cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 03:07 (fourteen years ago) link

PERIPHERY FOR DUMMIES

mayahee, mayahoo, mayaha, mayahaha (deangulberry), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 03:11 (fourteen years ago) link

I HAVE NO PERPIPHLIAL VISION, I WEAR GLASSES U SMUG SITED FUX.

Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 04:06 (fourteen years ago) link

aww :(

cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 04:16 (fourteen years ago) link

http://www.drudgereport.com/tt.jpg

mayahee, mayahoo, mayaha, mayahaha (deangulberry), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 05:26 (fourteen years ago) link

ok seriously do u guys wanna have a 3some? we're the only people here, it's just a bit of fun, let's be cool.

Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 06:13 (fourteen years ago) link

just of a bit of sex let's be doing that now already

mayahee, mayahoo, mayaha, mayahaha (deangulberry), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 06:44 (fourteen years ago) link

ASCII ON Ts

mayahee, mayahoo, mayaha, mayahaha (deangulberry), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 06:45 (fourteen years ago) link

yugh.

hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 06:45 (fourteen years ago) link

CAITLIN MADE ME DO IT

i figured that i owed her for all the MAYAHAHA roffles

mayahee, mayahoo, mayaha, mayahaha (deangulberry), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 06:47 (fourteen years ago) link

ALL THE WAY OFF

ghost rider, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 20:05 (twelve years ago) link

whatever, you already died to me like 10 minutes ago

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 19 June 2007 20:05 (twelve years ago) link

gr i sent you a very personal facebook wall post on june 19, 2007

max, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 20:06 (twelve years ago) link

its called facebook you can look up the dates

max, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 20:06 (twelve years ago) link

Nice to see that Curtis's given me another reason to write him off entirely too.

ghost rider, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 20:07 (twelve years ago) link

http://static.ak.facebook.com/images/icons/friend_guy.gif Ally is writing all y'all off. 4:07pm

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 19 June 2007 20:08 (twelve years ago) link

i should have made a better query joke :-/

Yeah, I still don't get it, dude!

jaymc, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 20:12 (twelve years ago) link

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Query_language

river wolf, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 20:14 (twelve years ago) link

u nerd

jaymc, Tuesday, 19 June 2007 20:15 (twelve years ago) link

one year passes...

The vast amount of US political news that is shoved down our throats in utter disproportion to literally every other foreign country in the world makes me eminently qualified to discuss the racist motives of your current and potential Republican shitheads leaders.

― You should be an artist, in in your shower. (Autumn Almanac), Sunday, September 28, 2008 5:50 PM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink


dog u were on a thread the other day ASKING SOMEONE WHEN THE ELECTION WAS so i think youre eminently qualified to stfu

― Barack HUSSEIN Obama (max), Sunday, September 28, 2008 5:52 PM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark

Kramkoob (Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃), Sunday, 28 September 2008 22:23 (eleven years ago) link

WASPS DON'T GO TO MASS
― Snappy (sexyDancer), Wednesday, January 26, 2005 11:04 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yes we do sucka

Barack HUSSEIN Obama (max), Sunday, 28 September 2008 22:27 (eleven years ago) link

Anglicans are not real WASPs, dog.

Kramkoob (Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃), Sunday, 28 September 2008 22:32 (eleven years ago) link

I thought mass was exclusively a catholic term?

an abduction of a guy into a weird artsy world... (wilter), Sunday, 28 September 2008 22:34 (eleven years ago) link

1) theyre only anglicans in england and 2) yes they are

Barack HUSSEIN Obama (max), Sunday, 28 September 2008 22:34 (eleven years ago) link

high church anglicans have mass I think. also, episcopal = wasp = anglican in a theological and governmental sense (US episcopal church is part of the anglican communion)

caek, Sunday, 28 September 2008 23:51 (eleven years ago) link

therefore, max is right.

caek, Sunday, 28 September 2008 23:51 (eleven years ago) link

I don't consider them wasps

Kramkoob (Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃), Monday, 29 September 2008 00:02 (eleven years ago) link

u rong dude

Barack HUSSEIN Obama (max), Monday, 29 September 2008 00:03 (eleven years ago) link

yep

caek, Monday, 29 September 2008 00:04 (eleven years ago) link

I thought mass was exclusively a catholic term?

― an abduction of a guy into a weird artsy world... (wilter), Sunday, September 28, 2008 10:34 PM

scientists use it too

eman, Monday, 29 September 2008 00:08 (eleven years ago) link

lol true

an abduction of a guy into a weird artsy world... (wilter), Monday, 29 September 2008 00:10 (eleven years ago) link

masses

Barack HUSSEIN Obama (max), Monday, 29 September 2008 03:21 (eleven years ago) link

A dude from new jersey is telling me what a "real wasp is"

Kramkoob (Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃), Monday, 29 September 2008 03:25 (eleven years ago) link

http://www.tartareandesire.com/bands/images/wasp.jpg

El Tomboto, Monday, 29 September 2008 03:31 (eleven years ago) link

eleven months pass...

why is this not the zing thread

jaymc, Sunday, 30 August 2009 05:11 (ten years ago) link

u nerd

― jaymc, Tuesday, June 19, 2007 4:15 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Miss Fitzhenry (s1ocki), Sunday, 30 August 2009 06:30 (ten years ago) link

re: the wasps at mass debate, i can't help what the chunky wasp chick said out loud, regardless of its stupidity. maybe she thought that guy was italian, and was offering to convert, thus making it not even a zing.

the schez (grand schez ha ha) (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Monday, 31 August 2009 13:52 (ten years ago) link

four years pass...

Terry Teachout's latest book is Duke: A Life of Duke Ellington. He's making the book talk rounds for this. Teachout is criticized by some for his neo-con politics (I recall Christgau mixing praise and criticism in his take on Teachout's Louis Armstrong book)

― curmudgeon, Tuesday, November 5, 2013 2:56 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

National Review interview!

LOPEZ: How could music be Ellington’s mistress, as the saying goes, when the man appears to have had so many mistresses? Did a lack of discipline hurt both his personal and professional life?

TEACHOUT: I don’t know whether that question is answerable. He was, after all, a hugely prolific composer who left behind a considerable number of masterpieces, so he must have been doing something right. But we can’t know how many more he might have written had he not diverted so much of his time and energy into the pursuit of women — though it’s also important to remember that he believed this pursuit to be musically inspirational.

http://www.nationalreview.com/node/362692/print

― curmudgeon, Tuesday, November 5, 2013 3:26 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'll be skipping this one. Teachout wrote an awful essay that largely dismissed Ellington's longer works, and Ellington as a composer, as inadequate for not utilizing the formalized tools of "classical music" that his music shouldn't have aspired to anyway.

Also, Christgau otm re: Teachout's politics.
http://bnreview.barnesandnoble.com/t5/Rock-Roll/Pops-as-Pop/ba-p/2578

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, November 5, 2013 3:46 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ugh:

LOPEZ: One of the “peculiarities” of Duke Ellington’s career, you write, is that “he was a major composer but not an influential one.” Why is that? How does that happen?
TEACHOUT: He wrote great music, but his techniques were so intensely personal and unique unto himself that they were for all intents and purposes inimitable. Hence he didn’t influence anybody — all that other artists could do was play his songs in their own ways.

Does Teachout even know what the word "influential" means?

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, November 5, 2013 3:50 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The idea that Ellington wasn't (and isn't) widely imitated is just .... strange

― Brad C., Tuesday, November 5, 2013 3:56 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

um hello mingus?

― #fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Tuesday, November 5, 2013 4:01 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

just think what Ellington could have accomplished if he had had as little sex as Teachout

― Brad C., Tuesday, November 5, 2013 4:03 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

#fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 5 November 2013 21:07 (five years ago) link

sick burn

#fomo that's the motto (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 5 November 2013 21:07 (five years ago) link

Christ Nilmar, what more do I have to do to win your approval???

― frogbs, Wednesday, November 13, 2013 11:41 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you could probably win mass approval by hopping into a pot of cold water and then remaining oblivious to any incremental temperature changes.

― estela, Tuesday, November 12, 2013 5:49 PM (54 seconds ago)

sarahell, Wednesday, 13 November 2013 01:50 (five years ago) link

classic "go kill yourself" zings

frogbs, Wednesday, 13 November 2013 01:58 (five years ago) link

^ can't stand the heat

ͼѾͽ (sic), Wednesday, 13 November 2013 02:25 (five years ago) link

one year passes...

hile Mauricio Pochettino’s defence looked suspect on a number of occasions, he will be pleased with the standard of victory from a side which included Andros Townsend as a starter.

deejerk reactions (darraghmac), Friday, 18 September 2015 22:02 (four years ago) link

two years pass...

the main reason I'm pretty sure Nixon won't win is because it would just be too sweet to see the entire mainstream political and media class proven utterly wrong. I don't think we get to have anything that enjoyable. I really hope I'm wrong

― wayne trotsky (Simon H.), Thursday, September 13, 2018 10:04 AM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Simon, just thinking out loud here, but there might be another reason why people who think the opposite of you are rarely proven wrong...

― Frederik B, Thursday, September 13, 2018 3:29 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

god fuck off

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, September 14, 2018 2:12 PM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

maybe if we duct tape you to a ceiling your blithe condescension will actually have a reason to sound like it's from on high

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, September 14, 2018 2:14 PM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Friday, 14 September 2018 19:18 (one year ago) link

booooom

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Friday, 14 September 2018 20:33 (one year ago) link

ahahaha

imago, Friday, 14 September 2018 20:34 (one year ago) link

five months pass...

Fun fact: The ilxor that founded Kickstarter once posted “mr. snrub u are a motherfucking idiot and with every post you make i believe this more and more”

― Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 10 March 2019 12:58 (three days ago) Permalink

That’s the thing about successful entrepreneurs, they’re no different from the rest of us when you get down to it

― A funny tinge happened on the way to the forum (wins), Sunday, 10 March 2019 13:24 (three days ago) Permalink

⅋ (crüt), Wednesday, 13 March 2019 13:41 (seven months ago) link

wins' zings are delight

macropuente (map), Thursday, 14 March 2019 18:32 (seven months ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.