Ask Dr. Morbius

If the season ended today, I'd predict 1. Webb 2. Dempster 3. Lincecum.

The James Predictor suggests 2 & 3 would flip (as long as they're close in wins, Lincecum's strikeouts should impress more than Dempster).

But really, it's the BBWAA, fuck em.

Dempster wouldn't get any credit just for being a Cub instead of a Giant?

I don't think the success of the teams is as much of a predictor in the Cy Young vote as it is in the MVP.

Morbs,

When was the last time that the top 4 payrolls in baseball didn't make the playoffs?

Lovingly,

SS

I don't know, or esp care.

Dr. Morbius,

You know those Keith Law chat transcript looking things that you sometimes post that look like this:

Tom: St. Louis MO: What are your thoughts on Yost having Sabathia pitch the 9th the other night when he had already thrown 110 pitches and the Brewers had a 7 run lead?

Keith Law: (1:22 PM ET ) Idiotic. I'm not sure which is more likely to cause the Brewers to lose in their NLDS - their flammable bullpen, or their addled manager.

Where are those from?

They are from http://espn.com/mlb

You can follow them via the chat link when the chat is ongoing, BUT afterward they are usually behind their subscription wall.

Dr. Morbius, this is not about baseball, but hey what's up do you like the movie "Symbiopsychotaxiplasm" why because its intersting.

I worked on the sequel to that thing. I met S+3v3 Bu5c3m! and gave him a cigarette.

Dear Dr. Morbius:

My spouse is out with TOMBOT watching that new Coen Bros movie. Should I be concerned?

Concernedly,

Oh wait this is ILBaseball. Hmm, I supposed I should therefore as an ILB question.

Dear Dr. Morbius:

Wouldn't it be better if Mr. Que and TOMBOT were at a Nats game rather than that new Coen Bros movie?

Your thoughts appreciated,

quinc, I have never had a movie date w/ Tomboto, so don't know if he gets "fresh." (He did not try anything at the Nats game I went to w/ him tho.)

ian, I've never heard of it.

Dr. Morbius,

What is "secret sauce" you have been writing about vis-a-vis playoffs?

f

http://www.baseballprospectus.com/statistics/sortable/index.php?cid=280104

Here is a description:

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/fantasy/fsv/2008-09-23-FSV-003.htm

Ah, I see.

MY NAME IS

KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID

why is gabbknob back btw?

― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, April 28, 2009 3:14 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^ this is solid

life is hard, bro

gabbneb's back?

i've seen no evidence of this--check yr glasses morbs

Dear Dr Morbius,

is Kung Fu Hustle the greatest narrative feature film ever made, y/n?

n

(closer than Knocked Up or The Natural, obv)

Dr. M:

What are the Red Sox chances at winning the World Series this year, and why?

Thanks, and best regards.

-- Daniel

(I followed the pattern of posting like a letter, with signature. Kinda don't like the way it looks, in retrospect. Oh well.)

20-22%. Figure 12.5% for each of 8 equally balanced playoff teams, then factor in the AL's strength and the Sox likely being the 2nd-best AL team.

morbius who are your ten favorite players?

active?

let's say both

i'd like active, actually

but not my qn

active and passive

i KNEW that was comin, just not from you!

I'll keep this *mostly* to players I actually saw:

ALL-TIME
Seaver
Mays
Satchel Paige
Ruth
Joe Morgan
Rickey Henderson
Aaron
Barry Bonds
Tug McGraw
Bill (Spaceman) Lee

ACTIVE
David Wright
Pujols
Beltran
Sizemore
Mauer
Haren
Brian McCann
Utley
Pablo Sandoval
Ichiro

Dear Dr. Morbiouss,

What was it liek seeing babe ruth pitch?

--JTM

cheap

hahahaha

also surprised joe's unfortunate post-player career hasn't soured your opnion of him

I'm Solomonic that way.

lol Sandoval token bear

Esteem'd Morbius, Base-ball Physician,
Are there any managers, in your opinion, who help their team more than they hurt it? If so, what admirable qualities do they possess?

beats me

I think Scioscia and (it pains me to say) LaRussa and Cox come to mind first.

Dr. Morbius,

Given that Jim Riggleman is still allowed to manage a major league baseball team, even if it is the nationals, does that mean there is still hope for any of us who've thought "shit, I could manage a team, probably"?

Dear Dr. Morbius,
Did you know that many years ago Joyce Dewitt and Orson Bean were married, for a period of about 3 months?

Dear Dr. Morbius,
Who the fuck is Orson Bean?

dear doc morbs - has there been a time sum mets rooks have tore up the spring as much as ike davis & fmart have so far?

JD: Tailor your resume, emphasize people skills.
JR: I did not -- was Joyce into Wilhelm Reich too?
TT: A comedic actor and game-show panelist (b.1928 as Dallas Frederick Burrows) who you may have seen as the old millionaire who "pisses orange" in Being John Malkovich.
JC: Way too many times.

what is your would blap starting nine lineup for 2010?

i remember mauer and wright from last year, who else?

insufficient data.

aka he won't admit jeter's on it

do you want me to pick one of these up for you while i'm in little rock?

http://distilleryimage4.ak.instagram.com/377107dc078211e39de722000a9e5e38_7.jpg

echhhhhh

(the one time I laid eyes on Billy Blythe was about ten years ago; he was on the field during batting practice at Shea Stadium)

favorite ylt song?

favorite fmu dj?

langella, hopkins, cusack: who played the best nixon? or, alternately, marry, fuck, kill?

franco or la beef?

favorite met?

favorite phillie (non-ironic)?

wth

Haven't seen Cusack's Nixon... Hopkins was alright, not as good as Jason Robards in Washington Behind Closed Doors or Aykroyd on SNL

obv my fave Met all-time is #41, Wright right now

Phillie I'll go with Ashburn or Tug

my fave YLT song is "Tom Courtenay"

tom scharpling overrated? 14 yrs x 48 broadcasts x 3 hours and all thats left is 6-7 hours of truly classic material. seems like Wurster did all the heavy lifting anyway.

Do you bang the desk with your fist before every post? I read all your posts this way now and it is a great deal of fun. Especially on non-political threads. I imagine pens and pencils and loose papers scattering, teacups clattering on their saucers.

i am like a duck... still above the surface

do you have a baseball question? have you been to a Nats game this year?

also, i am on 'scription roids; i'd break the desk in half.

tom scharpling overrated? 14 yrs x 48 broadcasts x 3 hours and all thats left is 6-7 hours of truly classic material. seems like Wurster did all the heavy lifting anyway.

― action bronson pinchot (sanskrit), Friday, February 21, 2014 8:54 AM (two years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm gonna go with yes, btw, usually didn't enjoy the Best Show all that much when I listened. Whereas I find Seven Second Delay fairly consistently amusing.

I've been getting deeper into film this year, but film writing on the internet seems really dire. Can you recommend anyone worth following/reading that actually talks about film/filmmaking and isn't just A) longform otaku nerd twaddle, B) identifying "tropes" masquerading as criticism or C) audits on how woke movies are

i'll get back to you, but w/ a historical bent maybe start here:

http://www.davidbordwell.net/blog/

shd've thrown in a baseball ref

word, def looking for something on new films too.

I just watched 'The Square' and looked at the wiki and saw this sentence "Vice.com reviewer R0d Bastanm3hr hailed it as a timely satire taking aim at contemporary art patrons.[46]" and am under a cloud of misery and anger that an observation so banal and surface-level was a professional writer's big takeaway from such an ambitious film

I don't gaf about Star Wars or superhero movies, fan service is ruining everything, TV is not better than movies, destroy all reboots, etc

bump

i like this guy

https://letterboxd.com/msicism/

and also the Effectively Wild baseball podcast.

Dear Dr. Morbius,
Did you know that many years ago Joyce Dewitt and Orson Bean were married, for a period of about 3 months?

probably saw each other in the green room a lot

sweet morbs, just one question - how do you do it?

it's all in the reflexes

ogmor, that doesn't sound like a baseball question

I am just a humble admirer, baseball is a mystery to me

can't believe it took me this long to ask you about playing guitar for gg allin

i mean ballin' from Maine to Mexico was right there

Dr. Morbs, please be honest: who is the biggest piece of ass in 2020 MLB?

i don't understand either question.

Gentlemen, we have an imposter here. What did you do with the real Dr. Morbius, "Dr. Morbius"?

Never heard of that guy, mook... I think his Wiki page is fairly new.

MY NAME IS

― Dr Morbius, Thursday, October 2, 2008 11:16 AM (twelve years ago)

thanks guys... it helped me remember him more clearly getting those words out

it might sound crazy if you just read his posts on this board or knew morbs the character, but we would all do good to live like bill. it's so easy to live a sedentary existence now (i'm not talking about covid), to feel like there's so much culture at your fingertips that you might as well be drowning in it. bill was from a different era, he never changed, and his rigidity and pride in being that way came thru loud and clear even if you barely knew him. but behind that was someone who valued tangibly experiencing the things that mattered to him, even when that thing was watching the sorry ass mets score 2 runs on a windy april night. (and btw he would never leave early.) i'm posting this as a reminder to myself as much as anything

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, October 21, 2020 11:59 PM

Love that he wouldn’t miss a pitch at the stadium but often posted about falling asleep at home before crucial plays in the sixth or whenever. (I can relate.)

Loved that sleeping through 1/3 of the game would not stop him from weighing in.

Bobby Bonilla day will never be the same. :(

Who was the good doctors favorite Met?

Wright for a while, I think.

seaver, far and away

i miss you morbius

every time I see a terrible take on "film twitter" I think, "god, I miss the guy but I'm glad Morbs never had to see this"

to be fair, he'd probably have dismissed most of the nonsense out of hand and gotten back to telling us about what he was never going to watch :)