44. Treat a burn
important ilx skill
― it's like 10,000 goons when all you need is a trife (m bison), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:24 (fourteen years ago) link
u guys as i write this i am eating rice out of the pot i cooked (slightly burnt) it in. real men have no need for dishes.
― where are that man's pants? :-( (Whitey on the Moon), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:28 (fourteen years ago) link
but really i'm just in a hurry.
Not married, I assume.
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:29 (fourteen years ago) link
I hope when you wrote "rice" you meant "squirrel you strangled with your god-damned bare hands"
― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:29 (fourteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RlK0Xd4c2c
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:37 (fourteen years ago) link
genuine in-office roffles! I go to a meeting and shit turns hilarious.
― WHY DON'T YOU JUST LICK THE BUS DIRECTLY (Laurel), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:39 (fourteen years ago) link
Going wayyy upthread... I watched the whole series of "how to tie a tie", and not one of those knots is quite exactly the one that I tie. I keep watching the four-in-hand and half-windsor videos, but neither seem exactly like my (apparently special) knot. But neither are the results very different. I want my knot to have a NAME, damnit!
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:03 (fourteen years ago) link
how does yr knot go
― Richard Snorkeling (ice cr?m), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:10 (fourteen years ago) link
I... I can't describe it all with words and stuff. I suppose I could make a video.
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:11 (fourteen years ago) link
But I'm not sure either myself or anyone else really cares that much.
In fact, I'm pretty sure I don't.
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:12 (fourteen years ago) link
Ok, forget I mentioned it. :)
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:14 (fourteen years ago) link
haah ok
― Richard Snorkeling (ice cr?m), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:15 (fourteen years ago) link
Make a video and we can call it a "full kenan."
― Action Orientation (Eazy), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:17 (fourteen years ago) link
kenan maybe it is a pratt aka shelby knot? iirc there are like 85 ways to knot a tie (topologically) but there are only 5 or so that are named
― elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:17 (fourteen years ago) link
double kenan
― Richard Snorkeling (ice cr?m), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:18 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.tcm.phy.cam.ac.uk/~ym101/tie4/tie4.html
^ nerd alert
― elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:20 (fourteen years ago) link
holy shit, that link is like catnip to me (and I don't wear ties that often)
― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:21 (fourteen years ago) link
Ah ha. Yeah, seems like a shelby, though I don't start the way they do in this video, with the shit all backwards and shit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJ4Rb_mYKS0
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:22 (fourteen years ago) link
That would be a good bit of masculine marketing if only those were a woman's hands.
― Action Orientation (Eazy), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:24 (fourteen years ago) link
And if it were The Edge instead of a mannequin.
heh... I got that.
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:27 (fourteen years ago) link
in defense of that popular science list (not the way it's written or every item on it), my stepdad was a popular science kinda dude. he knew his way around every imaginable tool and scientific discipline, in a knowledgeable layman's "here are the basics" sort of way. he knew all about surviving arcane emergencies and how to tie hundreds of different knots, could repair cars and household appliances and plumbing and electrical systems. had a head full of mathematical formulae and conversion tables and useful phrases in foreign languages. was not a cook, but had memorized a few favorite recipes he could execute expertly. knew the name of every plant, animal, constellation and cloud formation.
he just liked to know his way around stuff. it was definitely an ego thing for him, but one with tangible benefits. he was great to go camping or fishing with, a godsend in real emergencies of any kind, and i learned a hell of a lot from him. always kinda regretted not being more like him in that sense, but i'm not. therefore, i'm kinda cool with a lot of the stuff on that PS list and with its general intent, though yeah it's written very badly.
― a dimension that can only be accessed through self-immolation (contenderizer), Thursday, 10 December 2009 22:21 (fourteen years ago) link
holy shit i forgot about fucking speed buggy until just now
― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Thursday, December 10, 2009 11:40 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
that seems like an experience one would remember forever
― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Thursday, December 10, 2009 11:42 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark
especially if you're this guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTiVO8kbEvc
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Thursday, 10 December 2009 22:40 (fourteen years ago) link
Should we expand this to images of masculinity in pop tunes? Like, say, your top 40/young country hits about "bein' a man"? As contrasted with James Brown or Jarvis?
― kingfish, Thursday, 10 December 2009 23:57 (fourteen years ago) link
I think Jarvis is a little more in a grey area than James Brown or [insert male country artist here]. Jarvis is kind of the embodiment of "My dick is where? This is too rich."
― Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Friday, 11 December 2009 00:19 (fourteen years ago) link
^ i don't know what this means, but it's my new display name.
― the embodiment of "My dick is where? This is too rich." (Whitey on the Moon), Friday, 11 December 2009 01:09 (fourteen years ago) link
the dick in in a tub of creme fraîche? how is that good?
― a dimension that can only be accessed through self-immolation (contenderizer), Friday, 11 December 2009 01:43 (fourteen years ago) link
i think table is the table has already taken that one tbh xp
― what u think i steen for to push a crawfish? (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 11 December 2009 14:10 (fourteen years ago) link
LOL - the Shelby is named after an incredibly cool Twin Cities anchordude.
― special vixens unit (suzy), Friday, 11 December 2009 14:17 (fourteen years ago) link
Re: BBQ and how to eat it, from Joseph Mitchell:
It didn't take women long to corrupt the beefsteak. They forced the addition of such things as Manhattan cocktails, fruit cups, and fancy salads to the traditional menu of slices of ripened steaks, double lamb chops, kidneys, and beer by the pitcher. They insisted on dance orchestras instead of brassy German bands. The life of the party at a beefsteak used to be the man who let out the most ecstatic grunts, drank the most beer, ate the most steak, and got the most grease on his ears, but women do not esteem a glutton, and at a contemporary beefsteak it is unusual for a man to do away with more than six pounds of meat and thirty glasses of beer. Until around 1920, beefsteak etiquette was rigid. Knives, forks, napkins, and tablecloths never had been permitted; a man was supposed to eat with his hands. When beefsteaks became bisexual, the etiquette changed. For generations men had worn their second-best suits because of the inevitability of grease spots; tuxedos and women appeared simultaneously. Most beefsteaks degenerated into polite banquets at which open-face sandwiches of grilled steak happened to be the principal dish. However, despite the frills introduced by women, two schools of traditional steak-dinner devotees still flourish. They may conveniently be called the East Side and West Side schools. They disagree over matters of menu and etiquette, and both claim that their beefsteaks are the more classical or old-fashioned.
When beefsteaks became bisexual, the etiquette changed. For generations men had worn their second-best suits because of the inevitability of grease spots; tuxedos and women appeared simultaneously. Most beefsteaks degenerated into polite banquets at which open-face sandwiches of grilled steak happened to be the principal dish. However, despite the frills introduced by women, two schools of traditional steak-dinner devotees still flourish. They may conveniently be called the East Side and West Side schools. They disagree over matters of menu and etiquette, and both claim that their beefsteaks are the more classical or old-fashioned.
― Action Orientation (Eazy), Friday, 11 December 2009 17:50 (fourteen years ago) link
bisexual beefsteaks, huh
― elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Friday, 11 December 2009 17:59 (fourteen years ago) link
I suppose this wasn't enough to set off your satire-ometer:
at a contemporary beefsteak it is unusual for a man to do away with more than six pounds of meat and thirty glasses of beer.
― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Friday, 11 December 2009 18:04 (fourteen years ago) link
tbh when the dicks get to swingin' it's hard to distinguish satire from self-parody sometimes
― elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Friday, 11 December 2009 18:08 (fourteen years ago) link
I don't think the entire thing is full-on satire but it certainly doesn't seem like something that wants to be taken seriously; it looks like it's dressing up commentary re: East Side and West Side steak cooking methods in "rawr we were real men then" humor.
― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Friday, 11 December 2009 18:10 (fourteen years ago) link
Well, it was written in 1939 about the beefsteaks of the 1920s (taken from this page on beefsteaks, but also from Mitchell's Up in the Old Hotel. I don't think of it as satire, as much as reporting on the guys who missed the old beefsteaks of yore.
― Action Orientation (Eazy), Friday, 11 December 2009 18:16 (fourteen years ago) link
haha okay, that does put something of a different context on it
― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Friday, 11 December 2009 18:18 (fourteen years ago) link
"remember the days before beefsteak went ac/dc?"
― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Friday, 11 December 2009 18:19 (fourteen years ago) link
old beefsteaks of yore = beef jerky
― eight woofers in the trunk sb'n down the block (M@tt He1ges0n), Friday, 11 December 2009 18:20 (fourteen years ago) link
"remember the days before all the women made us stop eating pemmican?"
― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Friday, 11 December 2009 18:23 (fourteen years ago) link
there's a logic going on in that paragraph that basically means that sex with a woman is kind of... gay.
― goole, Friday, 11 December 2009 19:24 (fourteen years ago) link
You mean eating with a woman.
― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Friday, 11 December 2009 19:29 (fourteen years ago) link
He certainly does.
― james cameron gargameled my boner for life (Pancakes Hackman), Friday, 11 December 2009 19:34 (fourteen years ago) link
i read that excerpt as satirical. it satirizes both the crudity of manly men in days gone by, and also (in its tone) the nostalgia for a retrospectively exaggerated version of such. quote similar to the contemporary ads mentioned in this thread.
― a dimension that can only be accessed through self-immolation (contenderizer), Friday, 11 December 2009 22:54 (fourteen years ago) link
"quite similar..."
most cars come with instruction manuals that tell you how to change the tire― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Thursday, December 10, 2009 12:41 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Thursday, December 10, 2009 12:41 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
i cannot keep up with this thread, but ^^^^^
i am picking tire-changing arbitrarily but not knowing how to do this is on some next-level "I just don't GET math" art of pretend helplessness shit. put the jack under the car, jack it, use the iron to loosen the nuts, pull the wheel off, put the spare on, tighten the nuts, lower the car. this is a skill that should be filed under ADULT CAR USER, not MAN. if you don't drive, or have never gotten a flat, fine. or if you have and the weather was shitty or something. but if you've gotten a flat tire, and had the requisite kit with you, and the weather was nice, and the nuts came off easily (sometimes they don't and that sucks), and you STILL called a tow truck, then you are just a lazy person. the end.
anyway, like elmo said way upthread, most of the skills i'm interested in acquiring these days are horrifyingly feminine, and i always, always wear an apron while cooking.
― being being kiss-ass fake nice (gbx), Friday, 11 December 2009 23:33 (fourteen years ago) link
I've changed more than my fair share of flats in my life, but I can 100% see how people could be intimidated by the process and just not want to bother. Sometimes the instructions are incredibly vague about where to properly place the jack and I can see someone not wanting to take the chance to try to jack it incorrectly and fuck something up or worse!
― & other try hard shitfests (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 11 December 2009 23:38 (fourteen years ago) link
fukken dr. homo over here
― Lamp, Friday, 11 December 2009 23:38 (fourteen years ago) link
I've changed more than my fair share of flats in my life, but I can 100% see how people could be intimidated by the process and just not want to bother. Sometimes the instructions are incredibly vague about where to properly place the jack and I can see someone not wanting to take the chance to try to jack it incorrectly and fuck something up or worse!― & other try hard shitfests (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, December 11, 2009 5:38 PM (32 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― & other try hard shitfests (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, December 11, 2009 5:38 PM (32 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
i don't buy this, tbh. figure it out. if you can write a paper with yr eyes closed or w/e, then you can stare at some instructions and think rationally about how to do something in the actual, physical world. jacking something incorrectly can't really fuck things up THAT much. if it's a weenie jack that comes with the car, then the worst that'll happen is that the car will suddenly drop a few inches when the jack tips over. oh noes.
― being being kiss-ass fake nice (gbx), Friday, 11 December 2009 23:42 (fourteen years ago) link