marketing of masculinity

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59. Find potable water

fucking 4/20 man

it's like 10,000 goons when all you need is a trife (m bison), Thursday, 10 December 2009 19:53 (fourteen years ago) link

112. Be dumb as stump
117. Crush beer can on head
141. Crush enemies
150. Hear lamentations of women

Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 19:54 (fourteen years ago) link

102. sire an heir

elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 10 December 2009 19:54 (fourteen years ago) link

103. Hire Slayer

jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Thursday, 10 December 2009 19:55 (fourteen years ago) link

but honestly, surviving tornadoes? "son, if you see a tornado, i want you to look him in the eye and just say no. it was nice talking to you, see you next christmas."

it's like 10,000 goons when all you need is a trife (m bison), Thursday, 10 December 2009 19:55 (fourteen years ago) link

104. Invoke "Droit de seigneur" on all your friends' fiancees.

james cameron gargameled my boner for life (Pancakes Hackman), Thursday, 10 December 2009 19:55 (fourteen years ago) link

105. Fence

Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 19:56 (fourteen years ago) link

106. master the art of sincere apology even if you do not give a fuck irl

it's like 10,000 goons when all you need is a trife (m bison), Thursday, 10 December 2009 19:57 (fourteen years ago) link

80. Ditch your hard drive

Do what with it? You mean, throw it in a ditch? I think I might like to wipe it, reformat it, and see if I can use it again first.

Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 19:58 (fourteen years ago) link

187. self-administer a prostate exam

elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 10 December 2009 19:59 (fourteen years ago) link

http://blog.makezine.com/beercantabarmor_cc.jpg

for a second i thought it read "pantone" and i was all who is this guy

Richard Snorkeling (ice cr?m), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:00 (fourteen years ago) link

188. self-diagnose prostate cancer

it's like 10,000 goons when all you need is a trife (m bison), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:00 (fourteen years ago) link

See, I thought it said "Fatone" and I was like, uhhhhh . . .

ps to brownie apparently there is a wedding scheduled for 3:30 in the muni lot amongst the idiots Browns fans

james cameron gargameled my boner for life (Pancakes Hackman), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:03 (fourteen years ago) link

195. commandeer the vehicle of a stranger by force (non-video game)

it's like 10,000 goons when all you need is a trife (m bison), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:09 (fourteen years ago) link

6. Conquer an off-road obstacle

can this include alcoholism?

it's like 10,000 goons when all you need is a trife (m bison), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:09 (fourteen years ago) link

12. Perform hands-only CPR

Real men give mouth-to-mouth

Brad C., Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:10 (fourteen years ago) link

I do believe I was roommates with beer can armor guy in college. I knew him when he was just coke can armor guy (I guess this was before he was 21). He would leave rotting meat under his bed and moldy towels in the closet. Whenever I'd bring my girlfriend around he'd glare at her like she was like some kind-of intruder by sake of her gender.

Spectrum, Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:11 (fourteen years ago) link

107. Glare at opposite sex

Richard Snorkeling (ice cr?m), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:15 (fourteen years ago) link

pancakes, message in ILNFL 4 u

voices from the manstep (brownie), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:15 (fourteen years ago) link

108. Remove Bookmark from this Thread

max, Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:17 (fourteen years ago) link

44. Treat a burn

important ilx skill

it's like 10,000 goons when all you need is a trife (m bison), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:24 (fourteen years ago) link

u guys as i write this i am eating rice out of the pot i cooked (slightly burnt) it in. real men have no need for dishes.

where are that man's pants? :-( (Whitey on the Moon), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:28 (fourteen years ago) link

but really i'm just in a hurry.

where are that man's pants? :-( (Whitey on the Moon), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:28 (fourteen years ago) link

Not married, I assume.

Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:29 (fourteen years ago) link

I hope when you wrote "rice" you meant "squirrel you strangled with your god-damned bare hands"

wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:29 (fourteen years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RlK0Xd4c2c

Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:37 (fourteen years ago) link

44. Treat a burn

important ilx skill

genuine in-office roffles! I go to a meeting and shit turns hilarious.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST LICK THE BUS DIRECTLY (Laurel), Thursday, 10 December 2009 20:39 (fourteen years ago) link

Going wayyy upthread... I watched the whole series of "how to tie a tie", and not one of those knots is quite exactly the one that I tie. I keep watching the four-in-hand and half-windsor videos, but neither seem exactly like my (apparently special) knot. But neither are the results very different. I want my knot to have a NAME, damnit!

Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:03 (fourteen years ago) link

how does yr knot go

Richard Snorkeling (ice cr?m), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:10 (fourteen years ago) link

I... I can't describe it all with words and stuff. I suppose I could make a video.

Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:11 (fourteen years ago) link

But I'm not sure either myself or anyone else really cares that much.

Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:11 (fourteen years ago) link

In fact, I'm pretty sure I don't.

Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:12 (fourteen years ago) link

Ok, forget I mentioned it. :)

Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:14 (fourteen years ago) link

haah ok

Richard Snorkeling (ice cr?m), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:15 (fourteen years ago) link

Make a video and we can call it a "full kenan."

Action Orientation (Eazy), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:17 (fourteen years ago) link

kenan maybe it is a pratt aka shelby knot? iirc there are like 85 ways to knot a tie (topologically) but there are only 5 or so that are named

elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:17 (fourteen years ago) link

double kenan

Richard Snorkeling (ice cr?m), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:18 (fourteen years ago) link

http://www.tcm.phy.cam.ac.uk/~ym101/tie4/tie4.html

^ nerd alert

elmo leonard (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:20 (fourteen years ago) link

holy shit, that link is like catnip to me (and I don't wear ties that often)

wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:21 (fourteen years ago) link

Ah ha. Yeah, seems like a shelby, though I don't start the way they do in this video, with the shit all backwards and shit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJ4Rb_mYKS0

Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:22 (fourteen years ago) link

That would be a good bit of masculine marketing if only those were a woman's hands.

Action Orientation (Eazy), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:24 (fourteen years ago) link

And if it were The Edge instead of a mannequin.

Action Orientation (Eazy), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:24 (fourteen years ago) link

heh... I got that.

Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Thursday, 10 December 2009 21:27 (fourteen years ago) link

in defense of that popular science list (not the way it's written or every item on it), my stepdad was a popular science kinda dude. he knew his way around every imaginable tool and scientific discipline, in a knowledgeable layman's "here are the basics" sort of way. he knew all about surviving arcane emergencies and how to tie hundreds of different knots, could repair cars and household appliances and plumbing and electrical systems. had a head full of mathematical formulae and conversion tables and useful phrases in foreign languages. was not a cook, but had memorized a few favorite recipes he could execute expertly. knew the name of every plant, animal, constellation and cloud formation.

he just liked to know his way around stuff. it was definitely an ego thing for him, but one with tangible benefits. he was great to go camping or fishing with, a godsend in real emergencies of any kind, and i learned a hell of a lot from him. always kinda regretted not being more like him in that sense, but i'm not. therefore, i'm kinda cool with a lot of the stuff on that PS list and with its general intent, though yeah it's written very badly.

a dimension that can only be accessed through self-immolation (contenderizer), Thursday, 10 December 2009 22:21 (fourteen years ago) link

holy shit i forgot about fucking speed buggy until just now

― jazzgasms (Mr. Que), Thursday, December 10, 2009 11:40 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

that seems like an experience one would remember forever

― wtf?!? just randomly started crying! (HI DERE), Thursday, December 10, 2009 11:42 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark

especially if you're this guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTiVO8kbEvc

鬼の手 (Edward III), Thursday, 10 December 2009 22:40 (fourteen years ago) link

Should we expand this to images of masculinity in pop tunes? Like, say, your top 40/young country hits about "bein' a man"? As contrasted with James Brown or Jarvis?

kingfish, Thursday, 10 December 2009 23:57 (fourteen years ago) link

I think Jarvis is a little more in a grey area than James Brown or [insert male country artist here]. Jarvis is kind of the embodiment of "My dick is where? This is too rich."

Cronenberg sleazy (kenan), Friday, 11 December 2009 00:19 (fourteen years ago) link

^ i don't know what this means, but it's my new display name.

the embodiment of "My dick is where? This is too rich." (Whitey on the Moon), Friday, 11 December 2009 01:09 (fourteen years ago) link

the dick in in a tub of creme fraîche? how is that good?

a dimension that can only be accessed through self-immolation (contenderizer), Friday, 11 December 2009 01:43 (fourteen years ago) link

i think table is the table has already taken that one tbh xp

what u think i steen for to push a crawfish? (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 11 December 2009 14:10 (fourteen years ago) link


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