Hello Mudduh Hello Fadduh: ILX Rolling Parenting Thread

TV: I grew up in a limited access household--b&w broadcast channels from maybe age 4 onward, got cable around age 9, never a big tv addict--and would really like to throw the box out now that the kid's around. I say that but I don't know if it's really true because my husband likes tv so much I'm not going to have the choice. And of course I watch a ton of TV during the day because it's nice to have background noise and it's hard to do anything else and nurse at the same time. We're setting up our house with a tiny tv room and a big family room though, with places to play and read--I think this is good, keep the tv away from gathering areas. I'm glad we have Tivo to restrict access and cut out commercials when the time comes to introduce the kid to tv. And I do have fond memories of watching the twilight zone and Cosmos with my dad, there's good things about tv too.

Sending her to nursery makes us unhappy. She doesn't seem to mind, but we do. I don't think it will make her sociable, she is only 10 months old and takes no notice of the other kids (something I secretly find admirable). Plus she is always ill. If she carries on like this she will grow up to be like Morrissey. Before nursery she was vigorous and strong, a state she reverts to at weekends.

Photo:

ihttp://www.flickr.com/photos/25214957@N00/91393888/

http://static.flickr.com/19/91397533_c063cc53f3.jpg

xpost!

We have the telly on a lot and Ava seems less interested now that packing boxes prevent her from licking/slapping the screen. We haven't thought so far ahead as to imagine what damage we may be doing to her with TV. She dances to all the adverts and I'm not taking that away from her.

I'm very weary of banning a TV (or any other media). You have to educate a person (child or adult) on how to watch television. The box is not evil, it's how you handle it. This is of course easier said than done, but I am not anti-TV (nor internet) at all.

And, yes, that's how I see it as well, Teeny: you can't spoil a baby. From six months onwards they do start to make connections and then I'll try to make sure she doesn't see the connection. I don't want a spoilt child but I don't want an unloved baby either. :-) I realize that dependency can be a problem: as a child I was very dependant on my mom and they really had to cut the umbilical cord later on: I would go absolutely mental if my mom left me alone (with my dad or anyone else). When I was about three, my dad told my mom to leave so he could cut the cord. It was painful but very necessary. :-)

Incidentally, Michael, you might want to have a word with Edith because she applauded Chelsea's goal the other day. Obviously she didn't get any encouragement from me.

ihttp://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=91393888&size=m

Just wanted to clarify. I guess I came on a little strong because this is something I feel strongly about, but I'm not totally anti-TV. Truth is, I'm anti-commercials. That's where the worst damage is done. That's where our children are brainwashed into becoming mindless consumers and also fed frustratingly damaging images of what and how they "should" be and "should" want. As adorable as the image of a cute kiddo dancing to commercials is, you have to ask yourself what the child is internalizing.

Ask a TV-watching child to quote ads to you sometime, and prepare to be alarmed. Hell, it happened to us, too. I can still remember commercial jingles from the 1960s when I can't begin to haul up the Preamble to the Constitution any more.

And this isn't accidental. That's what commercials are for. They're *made* to do that, and they do it very effectively. If our boys think it's the coolest thing to be sullen dullard skate punks, where are they getting that image? If our girls think they need to be sleek amd made-up and sexy at age nine, where are they getting that idea? From us?

Television programs are sometimes nearly as bad, but the commercials are the real problem. And in case you think I'm just a ranting old lady, I used to teach advertising writing at the university level. Eventually, my soul couldn't take it any more.

Anyway, TiVo, from what I understand, can take the commercial problem away, which is awesome. Once we allowed our daughter and ourselves to start watching TV again, she wasn't allowed to watch Saturday morning TV at all. Or any commercial television aimed specifically at children. That crap exists ONLY to create desire and promote consumerism.

Buy or rent videotapes or DVDs instead.

Oh god, I've ranted again. Let me just crawl off into a corner and shut the hell up.

ditto. babies need to be held. plus, they're so much fun to hold. to me, spoiling a kid is refusing to set limits (on toys, food, tv, whatever). i don't think anyone's ever been spoiled by an excess of hugging.

At 11 months? Beyond "this has got a good beat"? But, yes, I fear she may have already made up her mind about which home contents insurance provider to patronise and which loo roll is the softest. Fortunately, British commercial breaks are full of plain-looking people struggling to secure loans on bad credit, so, in terms of aspirational images...er, yes I see your point.

And yes, we did watch ST:TNG. *grin* Which is probably the entire reason why the kiddo is a geek.

My wife was raised like your husband Teeny. And she's pretty brilliant as well. But I think in the long run you want to play the odds and assume that not everyone will be as lucky as our spouses are. Not to mention that sound eating habits have obvious rewards.

Here's Bill, he's two. His favourite thing ever is Thomas the Tank Engine. Also loves drawing, squirrels, Postman Pat and walking like a robot.

Almost 2, waiting for his little brother or sister to arrive (sometime this week), with his bunny, named "Money." Faves: balloons, "bidee-roes", and trains incl. Thomas.

I am shocked at my new appetite for baby pictures.

Edith was only brestfed for about two days (two very hungry days) and she is a fine strapping lass. Swings and roundabouts, I'd say. I'm not very keen on sterilising, but that's all.

I think you can mix and match.

Did anyone watch that programme about breastfeeding last night? Corking stuff - like a series of Little Britain sketches.

Most important thing Natalie (my wife tells me) - don't feel guilty - a few months down the line you'll be thinking "why did i let this get to me!?".

My parent profile - two children Louis, 8 and Mae, 4. Mae has just started school, which in my humble opinion is a little too early because I miss her! I stayed home and looked after the kids purely because financially it seemed the most sensible way, my wife has always earned a lot more than me. I do a few hours paid work a week now.

I don't know if I have much advice. You get so much advice from everyone that you wind up beating yourself up over whether you're doing the right thing. Having said that I find that If the kids are happy, you will be happy. And vice versa. And one way to stay happy is to get as much sleep as possible. This was one of the most difficult things for us, and it seems cruel going through the process of getting them to sleep through but I think it's worth it for everyone.

Anyway, here's a picture of Mae as an angel at her playgroup's xmas do.
http://static.flickr.com/34/72507088_9134fdc0f0.jpg

In one word: ARGH.

But, hey, one look at Ophelia and I melt.

no problem about the h. :-)

Don't worry about this; milk proteins and lactose don't work this way, as you will digest them first. Other things can pass into your milk untouched because they are absorbed directly into your bloodstream - alcohol, the volatile oils from garlic and onions.

It can work well to express your milk and bottle feed, and to nurse the baby when possible - I did it for months. Freeze your milk as soon as possible to preserve the enzymes and warm it under warm, not hot, running water. It is important to nurse the baby as often as you can (I was able to once in the morning and two-three times in the evenings), otherwise your milk will eventually dwindle.

Even though I nursed my son, he was a projectile vomiter. It was just the way he was (apparently, I was too). He eventually grew out of it, though it was frustrating all the time it happened. As long as the baby is filling her diapers and gaining weight, she's doing fine, regardless of spit-ups and burps.

congrats, Raymond!