Your favourite jokes about My Bloody Valentine

Q: What is Kevin Shields' favourite David Bowie album?
A: "Black Tie, White Noise"

(Kevin Shields loves making white noise with his band My Bloody Valentine. He also likes wearing tuxedos)

Q: What did Elizabeth Bathory say when she met Kevin Shields?
A: Feed Me With Your Kids ('Feed Me With Your Kiss' is a song by My Bloody Valentine)!

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that likes My Bloody Valentine?
A: J Mascis! (Dinosaur Jr. are a shoegaze band that stole their sound from My Bloody Valentine!)

Q: How do you dance like Bilinda Butcher?
A: You 'butcher' left leg in, your left leg out, in out, in out, shake it all about! (the Hokey-Cokey was a dance craze invented by My Bloody Valentine!)

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

The father says, "Sir, if you just let me tell you about our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. Go ahead."

"Ok well the show starts out with my daughter and son. You see my daughter has pretty big tits and my sons a drummer so he plays a little solo on her tits...with his dick. Then i come out with my wife and stick my dick in her ass. I hit different spots inside of her to get different sounds. We all start playing the theme song to pop-eye the sailor man . Then my sons pops one in my daughters eye. Our dog comes out and licks off the cum while he shits runny diarrhoea. My wife then rubs it on her tits where i draw the mona lisa with my cock while my daughter eats my ass and the my son fucks her in the ass. We all come one more time with the dog coming on top of all our faces whistling the I love Lucy theme song.

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

And the father says, "My Bloody Valentine!"

Why doesn’t Kevin Shields need a driver's license?
Because there’s no road between the kitchen and bedroom!

OMFG @ this thread.

I kept laughing at this:

Q. Why isn't diving allowed at My Bloody Valentine's swimming baths?
A. It's Only Shallow (Only Shallow is a song by My Bloody Valentine)!

But the Colmo Cue Sack is my new favourite.

which arabic MBV fan is acquainted with an ex England football manager?

Tahir knows Sven (To Here Knows When is a song by My Bloody Valentine. Sven Goran Erickson was a bloke who did football or something)

Ken Livingstone: Doctor, every time I listen to My Bloody Valentine, my face grows two-feet long and I get an overwhelming urge to eat ants.
Doctor: Yes, I'm afraid you've got Tapir-Nose, Ken (To Here Knows When)!

Q: What did Belinda and Kevin drink together before having sex?
A: Strawberry wine. (Strawberry Wine is a song by My Bloody Valentine!)

Q: What did Kevin say to Belinda when they were making out before sex?
A: "Feed me with your kiss." (Feed Me With Your Kiss is a song by My Bloody Valentine!)

Q: What did Belinda say when she felt Kevin's erection when they were making out?
A: "I can see it (but I can't feel it). (I Can See It (But I Can't Feel It) is a song by My Bloody Valentine!)

Q: How did Belinda describe herself right before having sex with Kevin?
A: "Emptiness inside." (Emptiness Inside is a song by My Bloody Valentine!)

Q: What did Kevin say when he had sex with Belinda?
A: "Soft as snow (but warm inside)." (Soft As Snow (But Warm Inside) is a song by My Bloody Valentine!)

Q: What did Belinda say when she was talking dirty to Kevin during sex?
A: "(Please) lose yourself in me." ((Please) Lose Yourself In Me is a song by My Bloody Valentine!)

Q: What did Kevin say when he was talking dirty to Belinda during sex?
A: "Drive it all over me." (Drive It All Over Me is a song by My Bloody Valentine!)

Q: What did Belinda say when she was getting tired of sex?
A: "Lose my breath." (Lose My Breath is a song by My Bloody Valentine!)

Q: What did Kevin say when Belinda asked when he was going to climaxed during sex?
A: "Soon." (Soon is a song by My Bloody Valentine!)

Q: What did Belinda say to Kevin right before he climaxed during sex?
A: "Cupid come." (Cupid Come is a song by My Bloody Valentine!)

Q: What did Kevin say to Belinda when he pulled out and climaxed during sex?
A: "Swallow." (Swallow is a song by My Bloody Valentine!)

Q: What did Belinda suggest after sex with Kevin was over?
A: "Cigarette in your bed." (Cigarette In Your Bed is a song by My Bloody Valentine!)

Q: What was Belinda thinking after sex with Kevin?
A: "Never say goodbye." (Never Say Goodbye is a song by My Bloody Valentine!)

Q: What was Kevin thinking after sex with Belinda?
A: "(You're) safe in your sleep (from this girl)." ((You're) Safe In Your Sleep (From This Girl) is a song by My Bloody Valentine!)

Knock knock
...
Knock knock
...
KNOCK KNOCK
...

(Matt #2 is still deaf from the My Bloody Valentine show last night. My Bloody Valentine are legendary for the high volume of their performances)

Q. What is Kevin Shields 3D's favourite film?

Why did Kevin Shields' hair get so messy?

He lost his Colm.

― Michael Jones, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 15:16 (6 months ago) Bookmark

unashamed giggles

ok I got to this thread's mandatory DJ Mencap "is my dog!" joke and am now suffering major lols

My Bloody Valentine
Loveless: Remastered: 2cd

£8.99free uk delivery
list price £16.99 - Your saving £8.00

Availability: pre order now

Release date: 9-3-2009

Why did Kevin Shields' hair get so messy?

He lost his Colm.

― Michael Jones, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 15:16 (6 months ago) Bookmark

unashamed giggles

― single-issue white nonhipster (country matters), 16 January 2009 15:27 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark

pronounced cullum, tho

I love these threads so much.

Q: What is My Bloody Valentines' favourite Super Nintendo game?

A: SUPER METROID! (Super Metroid is a game I associate playing while listening to Loveless. Loveless is a famous album by My Bloody Valentine. My Bloody Valentine is quite a famous band)

Q: What did Kevin Shields say when one of his bandmates took his favourite bedtime drink?
A: Who just stole my bloody Ovaltine (My Bloody Valentine)!

Those are reposts btw

Why doesn’t Kevin Shields need a driver's license?
Because there’s no road between the kitchen and bedroom!

Winner, end thread.

just not enough my bloody valentine jokes on this thread...

(My Bloody Valentine)

(Because not enough My Bloody Valentine jokes)

http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/081802/my-bloody-valentine.gif

Pretty accurate picture of the inside of my head.

There's a definite geordie influence there also.

What's the new My Bloody Valentine LP?

Isn't Any Album (Isn't Anything!)

what is a ghosts favorite whatever

my boo!dy valentine

What is the cat's favorite band?

Meow Bloody Valentine

No, no, Another Way is the name of my dog!

How many My Bloody Valentine threads does it take for ilx to screw in a lightbulb?

no tampon stopping this waterfall, this is a 21yr old period

who's the coolest monster/bro?

my buddy frankenstein