defend the indefensible: SBARRO

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Oh you fucking New Yorkers and your spoiled rotten ways. Here in Ohio, as far as non-hideous pizza goes, Sbarro is pretty much the only game in town. I wish I lived in a city with more restaurants.

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Friday, 20 October 2006 11:25 (seventeen years ago) link

there is simply no way in hell Sbarro is the best pizza in Ohio.

― a|ex (Pareene), Friday, 20 October 2006 11:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Indiana maybe.

― a|ex (Pareene), Friday, 20 October 2006 11:47 (seventeen years ago) link

it absolutely is NOT the best pizza in ohio.

i bought a drink from an airport sbarro the other day and the steam table offerings were: weird patties of crap bobbing in red or white liquid (chicken parm or chicken francese), toxic-looking meatballs, and dried-out slices that still managed to shimmer with grease. bleurgh.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 20 October 2006 12:46 (seventeen years ago) link

Whatever. Sbarro mushroom slice is great, 'cause they marinate the mushrooms in garlic and oil. Admittedly, you've got to hit up the right Sbarro at the right time, but there's no knocking it.

(I'm actually of the opinion that pizza purists hate fun. Pizza should be thought of as a plural noun. Pizzas in Italy, New York, Chicago, Sbarro, etc. are so different as to be considered different foods and not judged against each other. Sbarro is fast food, sure, but their 'pizza' is teh good)

― g00blar (gooblar), Friday, 20 October 2006 12:55 (seventeen years ago) link

WHAT? No, it's not. Even Pizza Hut pizza is better, and although I remember the Hut fondly through the kind veil of time and my then-inexperience with the pizzas of the world, I'm aware that it probably sucks.

― Laurel (Laurel), Friday, 20 October 2006 13:00 (seventeen years ago) link

it has nothing to do with purism and everything do with not liking undelicious food.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 20 October 2006 13:27 (seventeen years ago) link

One thing in their defense is that they have spinach in a number of their items. I think that's the only reason I've eaten there.

― You must be JOking! (section241), Friday, 20 October 2006 13:27 (seventeen years ago) link

Sbarro was the cause of one of the messiest, nastiest public toilet shitting experiences of my whole entire life.

Let me elaborate.

It started out like any Sunday really, sun shining, birds singing, morning newspaper open on the kitchen table. Then I ate at a shopping mall Sbarro. Suddenly I was seized with the urge to explosively blow feces out my anus, covering the inside of some mens room toilet and my ass cheeks with brown, yucky poop. I satisfied the urge by doing just that. Flushing such a work of art seemed a crime, so I moved to the next stall to clean myself up. My (and Sbarro's!) creation may still be seen at the 3rd stall from the left, southwest wing mens room, Twelve Oaks Mall, Novi, MI from 9AM to 9PM S-S.

― Logged Outt (loggedoutt), Friday, 20 October 2006 13:30 (seventeen years ago) link

Sbarro is not the same everywhere people. Places where they make it really thin and oily = CLASSIC; Thick with congealed cheese = DUD

― roc u like a § (ex machina), Friday, 20 October 2006 13:47 (seventeen years ago) link

you can't get diarrhoea from things you just ate so your shit can't be sbarro's fault

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 20 October 2006 15:13 (seventeen years ago) link

Sbarro was the cause of one of the messiest, nastiest public toilet shitting experiences of my whole entire life.

Let me elaborate.

ALWAYS A GOOD START

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 20 October 2006 15:30 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah, I really don't think Sbarro pizza is gross or anything. Even in NYC and NJ there are a lot of worse pizza places.

Pizza Hut is genuinely foul and revolting though.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Friday, 20 October 2006 15:35 (seventeen years ago) link

i didn't mind pizza hut back in the day. but i haven't eaten at one in more than a decade, and the ones i've seen in NYC always look nasty beyond belief (they're usually paired with equally-vile looking tad's steaks and dunkin' donuts franchises).

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 20 October 2006 18:20 (seventeen years ago) link

the key to Sbarro, the ginormous cheap garlic knots.

A slice of pizza is as much food as a two garlic knots:

Two garlic knots: $1
One slice of cheeze pizza: $7 (ok ok, $3)

You know about their meh cheese. You do the math. (and you even get the knots wrapped in foil!)

― gwynywdd dwnyt fyrwr byychydd gww (donut), Friday, 20 October 2006 18:49 (seventeen years ago) link

good pizza at affordable prices with more consistent quality control than even the best ny pizza, provided you like sbarro's pizza, which i do

― the Adversary (but, still, a friend of yours) (Uri Frendimein), Friday, 20 October 2006 18:53 (seventeen years ago) link

kicks the shit out of pizza hut in ny, let's put it that way

― the Adversary (but, still, a friend of yours) (Uri Frendimein), Friday, 20 October 2006 18:54 (seventeen years ago) link

beats pizza hut? that's not saying much.

― lauren (laurenp), Friday, 20 October 2006 18:59 (seventeen years ago) link

you can't get diarrhoea from things you just ate so your shit can't be sbarro's fault

Exactly. This is a classic example of people believing they are correct. It is exactly this sort of arrogant and entitled attitude that has our public restrooms in such foul shape.

― the Adversary (but, still, a friend of yours) (Uri Frendimein), Friday, 20 October 2006 19:01 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost — It is saying no more than it implies! What other big pizza chains are there? Dominos? Little Cesar? Pizza Hut is the king of pizza chains and Sbarro's is better. Sbarro's is better than a lot of ny pizza places, too, whose quality often varies wildly according to time of day.

― the Adversary (but, still, a friend of yours) (Uri Frendimein), Friday, 20 October 2006 19:11 (seventeen years ago) link

Sbarro's is depressingly one of the only places in the whole of the Western Suburbs of Chicago where you can get an actual slice of pizza, and not some horrible Chicago-style thin crust party cut monstrosity with cardboard crust and crappy cheese.

Like, it's crap, but at least it's crap that vaguely resembles New York pizza. I *hate* Chicago-style thin crust more than anything in the goddamn world.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Friday, 20 October 2006 19:15 (seventeen years ago) link

Seriously, people, CUT INTO SQUARES. SQUARES!

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Friday, 20 October 2006 19:21 (seventeen years ago) link

mmm barnaby's

― gear (gear), Friday, 20 October 2006 19:21 (seventeen years ago) link

anyway you should make the drive to giordano's or something! no need to settle on sbarro.

― gear (gear), Friday, 20 October 2006 19:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Giordano's is always burnt, and is still Chicago-style.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Friday, 20 October 2006 19:30 (seventeen years ago) link

Sounds like you're talking about Rocky Roccocco's to me.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 20 October 2006 19:34 (seventeen years ago) link

(or is that just a midwest joint?)

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 20 October 2006 19:34 (seventeen years ago) link

wtf giordano's is great!

― gear (gear), Friday, 20 October 2006 19:50 (seventeen years ago) link

i hate giordano's.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Friday, 20 October 2006 19:51 (seventeen years ago) link

I just ate at Bravo! Lord how I wish it was Sbarro.

― the Adversary (but, still, a friend of yours) (Uri Frendimein), Friday, 20 October 2006 19:51 (seventeen years ago) link

Sbarro is only marginally worse than your typical Ray's/Original Ray's

― a regal trolley (aaron a), Friday, 20 October 2006 19:56 (seventeen years ago) link

actually i have ok memories of sbarro. it reminds me of the early '90s and failed attempts at meeting mallrat girls.

― gear (gear), Friday, 20 October 2006 19:59 (seventeen years ago) link

The Sbarro's in Garden State Plaza (an "upscale" mall) is really funny - they try to match the clientele by having shelves of fancy-looking bottles of mineral water and olive oil (none of which makes it into the food)

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Friday, 20 October 2006 22:06 (seventeen years ago) link

MORE REVIVING PLZ!

― sometimes my entire life be like DAMNNN! (tehresa), Saturday, 21 October 2006 21:23 (seventeen years ago) link

you can't get diarrhoea from things you just ate so your shit can't be sbarro's fault

NOT TRUE

― jergins (jergins), Saturday, 21 October 2006 23:08 (seventeen years ago) link

I once saw an employee at the WTC Sbarro pouring orange juice over chicken cutlets, apparently because he thought the juice would make them more tender.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 23 October 2006 02:01 (seventeen years ago) link

Also: those motherfuckers there NEVER ONCE could fill a dish without getting tomato sauce and runny cheese all over it, thereby ensuring that I'd always be holding a leaky bag next to my work shirts. (Though to be fair, yeah, it is kinda impossible to dish out Italian food quickly AND neatly.)

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 23 October 2006 02:06 (seventeen years ago) link

oj and chicken cutlets are as perfect as meatballs made with grape jelly. Don't knock til you try!

― Portable Dorkness (Dick Butkus), Monday, 23 October 2006 02:09 (seventeen years ago) link

I once saw an employee at the WTC Sbarro pouring orange juice over chicken cutlets, apparently because he thought the juice would make them more tender.

there's some truth to this -- all marinades are acidic, and they make meat tender as well as add flavor. but there has to be more than just orange juice in the marinade. also it does have to sit for a few hours.

― cocksure triumphalism at its most vacant (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 23 October 2006 02:09 (seventeen years ago) link

The OJ idea sounds like something I'd come up with in one of my weirder food-crave moments, but the cutlets, IIRC, were already soaked in tomato sauce and cheese, and the OJ was that nasty reconstituted stuff that comes from the fountains, so I imagined they'd probably taste both cloying and corrosively acidic.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 23 October 2006 02:24 (seventeen years ago) link

sbarro meets dr. strongo's neuvo cuisine thread?!?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 23 October 2006 02:31 (seventeen years ago) link

My mom used to use orange juice in chicken marinades - but yeah, combined with tomato that sounds foul.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Monday, 23 October 2006 02:49 (seventeen years ago) link

was he pouring it over the cutlets that were already cooked and sitting in the serving trays? that sounds like something a sbarro employee might do. i have used orange juice in fish marinade before - pretty good, but somehow i have the feeling that whatever this dude was doing probably didn't fall under the acceptable usages of orange juice in meat preparation. i'd think they get the cutlets pre-cooked and just reheat them or something since it is fast food and all.

― sometimes my entire life be like DAMNNN! (tehresa), Monday, 23 October 2006 02:56 (seventeen years ago) link

we should do a headcount as to how many NYC ILXors ate at the WTC sbarro's -- there's me, mike, o_nate, and laurel. who else?!?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 23 October 2006 05:59 (seventeen years ago) link

i may have eaten there once, but i have no vivid memory of it. i know i ate at the times square location.

― cocksure triumphalism at its most vacant (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 23 October 2006 06:02 (seventeen years ago) link

airport headcount next plz

― jergins (jergins), Monday, 23 October 2006 06:08 (seventeen years ago) link

shit goddamn

Welsh's OJ over stale fried cutlets?

SBLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHRRO

OK, fuck the garlic knots. I'm not going back ever.

― gwynywdd dwnyt fyrwr byychydd gww (donut), Monday, 23 October 2006 06:25 (seventeen years ago) link

I'll have the dark burgandy "pizza sauce" at Round Table instead.. which is saying a lot.

― gwynywdd dwnyt fyrwr byychydd gww (donut), Monday, 23 October 2006 06:25 (seventeen years ago) link

i'll see u at the airport soon enough and there will be no way to deny it

― sbarro guy (jergins), Monday, 23 October 2006 06:26 (seventeen years ago) link

$5 for the stale fried pasta bake in tomato water please?

― gwynywdd dwnyt fyrwr byychydd gww (donut), Monday, 23 October 2006 06:29 (seventeen years ago) link

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