vadge horror stories

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Man's complaining?
Get a clue!
Soap and water
just won't do.
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:12 (nineteen years ago) link

(Another one taken from Burma Shave):

It has a tingle
And a tang
That starts the day off
With a bang
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Inky binky
parlez-vous;
Europeans stink,
and so do you!
LYSOL DOUCHE!

(This is what happens when I'm left unsupervised @ work.)

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:23 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm about to pee my pants.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:39 (nineteen years ago) link

June thought Ward
Was gonna leave her
She gave him
A cleaner Beaver
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:40 (nineteen years ago) link

best everrr4t omg

― Jon Williams!!!!! (ROFFLE!@!@!@) (ex machina), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:43 (nineteen years ago) link

(I feel about twelve years old, sitting in the back of the bus with my George Michael tape in my RCA Walkman knockoff and dogearing volume 5 of Truly Tasteless Jokes.)

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:43 (nineteen years ago) link

(And I feel like I just I lost the spear to my Klaatu action figure between the bus seat cushions.)

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:48 (nineteen years ago) link

"bus seat cushions"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:50 (nineteen years ago) link

If you want
To please your guy
Give him "special"
Lemon pie
LYSOL DOUCHE

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Stick it in,
It's lemon-scented!
Woo-enabled,
Stink prevented.
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:52 (nineteen years ago) link

A disgusting young harlot, Louise,
Had cunt hair right down to her knees.
The crabs in her twat
Tied her hair in a knot
And constructed a flying trapeeze.

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:52 (nineteen years ago) link

so, burma shave, then?

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:54 (nineteen years ago) link

is there a secret BurmaKitty/Burma Shave vagina connection?

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:54 (nineteen years ago) link

jeremy, some crazy girl who knows jeff and you and who i met once??? was at !!! last night~!@?@

― Jon Williams!!!!! (ROFFLE!@!@!@) (ex machina), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:54 (nineteen years ago) link

If you need
To clean your clock
it's time to bring
The toxic shock
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:54 (nineteen years ago) link

burma kitty posted n00dz on here, no?

NO WONDER AJA WAS A LOON

― Jon Williams!!!!! (ROFFLE!@!@!@) (ex machina), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Tep you are assuming the mantle of godhood here

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:55 (nineteen years ago) link

Burma Shave / Burmese Python / Mission of Burma

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:56 (nineteen years ago) link

This thread has been elevated to ridiculous levels of greatness. Thank God no one's around to hear me laughing.

― Vinnie (vprabhu), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:56 (nineteen years ago) link

For Dan:

Now even trannies
can bang a gong
and get with Eddie's
Old Spice dong
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 June 2004 18:59 (nineteen years ago) link

I tried soap
To mend my troubles
Making love
Meant making bubbles!
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 19:00 (nineteen years ago) link

When your ugly
Feels the burn
you'll know the buggies
Won't return.
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Friday, 18 June 2004 19:01 (nineteen years ago) link

Take Thanksgiving
Up a notch
Baste the turkey
Of your crotch!
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 19:03 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm about to pee my pants.

then boy do I have a product for you!

excuse me miss?
does your vadge smell of piss?
if so, it's no worry at all
just shower your girly bits with Lysol
LYSOL DOUCHE

― oops (Oops), Friday, 18 June 2004 19:03 (nineteen years ago) link

His Yule log
Will spark and glow
Once you douse
Your mistletoe
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 June 2004 19:08 (nineteen years ago) link

because you're a nasty ho
give your snatch a lemon glow!
your friends and neighbors will be happy
at the odor of your snappy
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Friday, 18 June 2004 19:09 (nineteen years ago) link

Vinegar's fine
For Sues and Madges
But we don't need
No stinkin vadges!
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 19:13 (nineteen years ago) link

CLASS, Tep.

Give your hubbby
something nice
Citrus-flavored
pubic lice
LYSOL DOUCHE!!

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Friday, 18 June 2004 19:15 (nineteen years ago) link

someone wants Madge's vadge

http://www.crzy4art.com/e-cards/madonna.jpg

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 18 June 2004 19:20 (nineteen years ago) link

Is that Annie Lennox?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 June 2004 19:20 (nineteen years ago) link

No more I love yous my ass!

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Friday, 18 June 2004 19:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Take your clothes off,
Take a whiff
Did the lemmings
Leave the cliff?
LYSOL DOUCHE!

(The problem is that I have the "Wanna wanna, wanna Fanta" ad that plays in the movie theater in my head now.)

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 19:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Sparkling clean
To please his wee-wee
Brand new flavors
Lime and kiwi!
LYSOL DOUCHE!

(See what I mean?)

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 19:23 (nineteen years ago) link

(Wait, there's no movie theater in my head, btw.)

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 19:24 (nineteen years ago) link

If your man's tongue's
scared to roam
douche away
your fishy foam
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― BADGER KITTEN, Friday, 18 June 2004 20:08 (nineteen years ago) link

If you're feeling
Not so fresh
Let us remove
your tuna breath
Lysol Douche!

― Jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 18 June 2004 20:12 (nineteen years ago) link

Gotta whiffy vag, girl?
Nope, me neither
I always LYSOL DOUCHE my beaver

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 18 June 2004 20:13 (nineteen years ago) link

'Doc, I think I'm losing him...'
'Lady - LYSOL DOUCHE that quim'

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 18 June 2004 20:16 (nineteen years ago) link

If your gal's
got pubic grease
Spray some lysol
in her crease
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― x Jeremy (Atila the Honeybun), Friday, 18 June 2004 20:18 (nineteen years ago) link

Is your cuntage somewhat whiffy?
LYSOL DOUCHE it in a jiffy!

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 18 June 2004 20:19 (nineteen years ago) link

If he's chokin' when he's pokin'
LYSOL DOUCHE will stop him croakin'

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 18 June 2004 20:21 (nineteen years ago) link

hahaha CUNTAGE!!! best word ever.

xpost

― Ian c=====8 (orion), Friday, 18 June 2004 20:21 (nineteen years ago) link

You'll douche with anything that kills your germs.
You'll douche with anything by Summer's Eve.
You'll douche with anything once or twice.
You'll douche with anything while in the commode.
You'll douche with anything that comes in many flavors.
You'll douche with anything that makes you fresh.
You'll douche with anything by any bunch of stupid hygienists with their white labcoats intent on taking our money instead of giving your cash where it belongs, to a decent ad copywriter like myself!
LYSOL DOUCHE.

(I think I'm beyond sense now.)

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 20:22 (nineteen years ago) link

Procreate don't asphixyiate
LYSOL DOUCHE

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 18 June 2004 20:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Weird, Tep... I was just about to post quoting the sample from the David & Don Was remix of "Smokin' Banana Peels":

Dad, how could you possibly know more about douche than I do?

I don't know anything about douche, but I do know antifreeze when I see it, and that's what you're holding.

― martin m. (mushrush), Friday, 18 June 2004 20:25 (nineteen years ago) link

BRING THA ZING BACK TO YA THING!
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 18 June 2004 20:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Is your front bottom stinkin rotten?
LYSOL DOUCHE!

― badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Friday, 18 June 2004 20:26 (nineteen years ago) link

Mine was cause the meter I'd fallen into kept making me think, "Oh, baby / Look at you / Don't you look / Like Siouxsie Sioux / LYSOL DOUCHE!"

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 20:26 (nineteen years ago) link

"Front bottom" is still the best Britishism around.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 18 June 2004 20:27 (nineteen years ago) link

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