unfunniest "comedians"

^^^ that person is a republican

"Hey, guy whose career has been dead since the '80s. Yeah, you. You SUCK."

I'm not gonna lie, I've def laughed at some Gallagher and Carrot Top in my day. I think they're generally considered "OMGROFLWTF bad comediansOMG!!11" because they rely so heavily on schtick. Gallagher could prolly do OK even if he wasn't smashin melonz

Emo's joke about religion is really funny

i saw emo live like 15 yrs ago. he was funny as hell.

i have mentioned it ad nauseum on here but: carrot top ("CT" to his friends) is a v friendly person

i will also go on record as thinking pauly shore is basically hilar

yeah there was one tape of his that I thought was real funny in high school

just remember, if newsweek makes fun of washed-up comedians, it's lame, but if idolator makes fun of washed-up musicians, it's hilaAAAAAArious

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you christian or buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you catholic or protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you episcopalian or baptist?" He said, "Baptist!" I said,"Wow! Me too! Are you baptist church of god or baptist church of the lord?" He said, "Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you original baptist church of god, or are you reformed baptist church of god?" He said,"Reformed Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off. -- Emo Phillips

that's not really a very funny joke

silence *cough* silence

i went fishing the other day, and i caught a big beautiful fish. i wanted to mount it, but... there were people around.

Emo Phillips is a genius. And he was married to Judy Tenuta for a few years. Imagine that household.

P.S. ILX killed Danny Gans.

"I like going to the park and watching the children run and jump around, because you see, they don't know I'm using blanks." — Emo Philips

commode-ians

The wit and wisdom of Emo Phillips:

"Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something..."

_______________________________

"My girlfiend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'."

Ew!

If you didn't learn from Gallagher, beware of prop comedians.

what was even the point of them running that list if they weren't going to go after Dunham?

yeah, isn't he the most "current" ?

Emo Phillips is great.

The Dunham blurb was the only one that made me laugh!

Famous prop comic Bobby Hill did not make the list.

my bad somehow i skipped past Dunham in the gallery, thought he wasn't there

emo's bit about the dog getting run over is hysterical. i can't believe he's on any list like that at all it's just baffling.

I thought you meant Emo Phillips' religious joke was:

"I prayed to God for a new bike, but my mom told me God doesn't work that way.
So, I stole a bike and prayed to God to forgive me!"

Feel bad for saying it but... Stewart Lee

Feel bad for asking this but . . . who is Stewart Lee?

Sorry, I got it.

i thought stewart lee is pretty funny.

He is also due to appear on Celebrity Mastermind, with jazz-improv guitarist Derek Bailey as his special subject.

Seems like a great bloke, heart's in the right place, good taste, not funny

I think Stewart Lee's very funny. But his style is quite... singular.

emo philips is funny: "I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving. When brought before the judge, I was asked if I knew what the punishment for drunk driving in that state was. I said, "I don't know... reelection to the Senate?"

Emo Philips can write a damn good joke, but I can't really stomach his delivery.

quite liked that church one actually. better if PBPhilBrown was the guy trying to stop the person from jumping though

More to comedy than saying a funny line, of course

Emo's wonderful, I agree. And I love his delivery.

The only Emo line that I can ever remember is something like: 'My cousin died from a bee sting. He was a tightrope walker'

More to comedy than saying a funny line, of course

So many comedians rely on the delivery and never bother to write a funny line that I'll settle for a funny line any day of the week and twice on Tuesday.

those last two emo jokes were pretty good!

Yes, but imagine him saying it

While Cook isn't inherently unfunny, and has some very good material, he's suffered from spreading himself too thin...

This Newsweek article was written by an ardent Dane Cook apologist. It's borderline evil. Don't read it!

i have never seen/heard emo phillips

Emo Philips is great with a punchline. Once you get his whole groove, you understand that swallowing the punchline is his exaggerated way of being uncomfortable with consistently writing such funny goddamn punchlines. All comedians hate themselves, after all.

thanks for the psychiatric pro-tip

Hey, I only know what I hear on television.

From comedians.

Feel bad for saying it but... Stewart Lee

He does have some good material, it's just that Richard Herring came up with it in the '90s.