Official I Love Cricket Joe the Plumber Fanfic/FAQ Thread

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Q: Which one of these men is Joe the Plumber?:

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A: Trick question!!!! None of them! This is the real Joe the Plumber:

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Q: Who is Phil the Bricklayer?
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A: Nobody cares.

Q: Where is Joe the Plumber?

A: Wherever there is a socialist, Joe the Plumber is there. Wherever wealth is being redistributed, Joe the Plumber is there. Whenever Israel is in trouble, Joe the Plumber is there.

"Did somebody call for a plumber?"
"Oh gosh, Joe" exclaimed a startled Sarah. "I didn't hear you there. I was so busy reading the press and the media. You know, all of them."
"Permission to come aboard the Straight Talk Express?"
"Granted!" she cried, nasally.
The unlicensed Plumber, his plunger erect, boarded the bus and slid into a seat next to the unindicted Governor.
"I don't know about you, but my polls sure could use a bump," he whispered into her ear.
"For sure," purred the Governor, sliding off her $800 spectacles. "Whaddayasay this time, we play 'Obama and Ayers'?"
"That's not working so great anymore. How about 'Obama and Khalidi'?"
"Ooh, go on," said the Governor, undoing her Valentino blouse, $2,000 button by $2,000 button.

As the Plumber explores her North Slopes, the Governor ran her manicured fingernails across his manly small-town chest, tracing the embroidered name on his uniform: "SAM."
"Good golly, Joe, I haven't felt muscles like these since that moose I shot, skinned, gutted, and dressed--while giving birth to Piper. Or was it Track?"
As the Governor donated the rest of her clothing to charity, the Plumber covered her in kisses, striving to keep her red places red. But just as she reached down to touch his ever-growing capital gains, there was a cry from outside.
"Mom! Mooom!!!!"
"Aw heck," muttered the Governor. "What do you want, Bristol?"
"My water broke and my contractions are 5 minutes apart. Are you sure I should be taking a campaign bus tour across Pennsylvania?"
"You'll do it and Florida, too, young lady!" barked the Governor. "Now fly back to Alaska and get ready."
The Governor turned back to the Plumber, who was ready to fill her pipeline.
"Come on, baby," he moaned. "Wave your white flag of surrender."
"Oh yes, Joe, yes! My gosh," she exhaled in ecstasy, "I think I can see Russia."
But suddenly, their preconditioned negotiations were interrupted by an angry voice.
"What the hell is this?"
The two of them shot up, decoupling.
"John!"
"Senator!"
"Porking... on my own campaign bus... when we're down so many points in Ohio..." the Senator hyperventilated, staggering around, clutching his heart. He dropped to the floor, murmuring his last words, "My friends..."
The Governor gazed in horror at the man before her, lying in a very un-pro-Life position.
"Oh doggone it," she exclaimed. "What the heck do I do now?"

Very well done JW

hahaha!

Q. Where can I find a picture of Joe giving a cocky grin to the camera as his face points upward to the inexorable heaven-bound future of these great United States?

A. http://www.secureourdream.com/images/JW2.jpg

Q: Who is Phil the Bricklayer?

A: Nobody cares.

― ♪☺♫☻ (gr8080), Saturday, October 18, 2008 2:28 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark

lol

Q. Who designed the cover of Joe's book, which I have reproduced here: http://www.thingsforgottenbook.com/bookstore/images/Joe-The-Plumber-Cover-v2.jpg?

A. Stevie Wonder

http://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFReport: Joe the Plumber Says McCain 'Appalled' Himhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIF

Joe Wurzelbacher says he felt "dirty" after "seeing some of the things that take place" on the campaign trail.

FOXNews.com

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

'Joe the Plumber' told conservative radio host Glenn Beck on Tuesday that he felt "dirty" after hitting the campaign trail with Republican presidential nominee John McCain and "seeing some of the things that take place," Politico reported.

Joe Wurzelbacher said he was specifically put off by McCain when it came to talk of the $700 billion bailout.

"When I was on the bus with him, I asked him a lot of questions about the bailout because most Americans did not want that to happen," Wurzelbacher told Beck. "I asked him some pretty direct questions. Some of the answers you guys are gonna receive they appalled me, absolutely. I was angry. In fact, I wanted to get off the bus after I talked to him."

Wurzelbacher said he stayed on the trail with McCain "honestly, because the thought of Barack Obama as president scares me even more."

Wurzelbacher, however, offered kind words to McCain running mate Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

"Sarah Palin is absolutely the real deal," he said.

Q: Who, according to Joe the Plumber, is the real deal?
A: Sarah Palin and/or Evander Holyfield

January 7, 2009

Joe the plumber headed to Middle East

Posted: 09:01 PM ET

(CNN) – Joe Wurzelbacher: Plumber. Campaign celebrity. Foreign correspondent?

‘Joe the Plumber’ is headed overseas to try his hand at covering the conflict in Gaza, Wurzelbacher’s publicist Thomas Tabback confirmed to CNN Wednesday.

Wurzelbacher plans to spend 10 days in Israel reporting on the conflict for pjtv.com, a Web site run by conservative media outlet Pajamas Media.

The famous plumber will be focusing on the Israeli perspective on the situation. "It's tragic, I mean it really is,” Wurzelbacher told CNN affiliate WNWO “I don't say that in any little way. It's very tragic, but at the same time what are the Israeli people supposed to do.”

Wurzelbacher told WNWO he’s not worried about the potential dangers of his new gig. "Being a Christian I'm pretty well protected by God I believe. That's not saying he's going to stop a mortar for me, but you gotta take the chance,” he told the CNN affiliate.

“Israeli officials are very excited to have him,” Tabback told CNN.

Filed under: Joe the plumber

Q: Is Joe The Plumber worried about getting killed in Gaza?
A: "Being a Christian I'm pretty well protected by God I believe. That's not saying he's going to stop a mortar for me, but you gotta take the chance,”

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJTU77LZLaU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBTDMLZwdpE