Why I love the Daily Mail, as distilled into one story.

think nothing of lying a-bed until noon

Oh, those foul rapscallions!

wtf is an armpit vest?

The move, of late, has been to have no hair at all and the men of Bog-Standard Britain seem to have taken their lead from the Mitchell brothers who swaggered into EastEnders, the BBC's main primetime soap opera, in 1990.

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01460/William-Hague_1460616c.jpg

... though Alan Clark complained that Hague had copped his hairstyle from Bruce Willis, not the Mitchell Brothers

Bang bang. That was Germaine's tactic. Wham bam bang.

Whan. Bosh bang. Bam whang ban wang.

You have to admit there is a haphazard logic to this theory about bald men...
http://queen-of-outer-space.com/wrb9.jpg

Strange, strange article. I mean I assume this must be a joke:

Yes, it reads like a parody to me, but it isn't o_O

Paaaaargh for the coarse.

I have had the misfortune to do some research for Quentin Letts wife, one of the rudest and most unpleasant women I have ever dealt with, if she's an example of the fragrant 1950's womanhood he's expousing give me Germaine Greer any day.
- Lucy, London, 10/11/2009 11:11

The comments section generally is far from positive, plus a few mentalists. Is the Mail just trolling its readers now?

We are the Daily Mail website's readers. You could say the same of the Guardian site.

*room turns ice cold*

I have had the misfortune to do some research for Quentin Letts wife, one of the rudest and most unpleasant women I have ever dealt with, if she's an example of the fragrant 1950's womanhood he's expousing give me Germaine Greer any day.

Well give her a break, she is married to an ugly misogynist snob after all

never give a sucker an even break

When the RMS Titanic sank in 1912, a large proportion of the female passengers survived, but 80 per cent of the men on board went down with the ship, doomed by chivalry. They had observed the code of 'women and children first' to the lifeboats.

Would that happen today?

Not only that, but to-day the third class passengers would probably demand a palce on the lifeboats as well! Outrageous!

This man is deranged. He's written a book called "People who buggered up Britain" (or something) in which he lays into various people and then complains about swearing and rudeness. Stupid fucking prick.

The 50 People Who Wrecked Britain. We did a poll...

Would not be surprised at arriving at a time when Ryanair emergency-lands, tries to enact oxygen mask/yellow slide surcharge.

I see - I presume it's the same as this?
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51uXWWwU4NL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA240_SH20_OU02_.jpg

So his own books are getting dumbed down?

Date-rape drugs are largely an urban myth used as an excuse by women who booze themselves into a stupor, it has been claimed.

― DavidM, Tuesday, 27 October 2009 18:26 (2 weeks ago) Bookmark

this set me off like nothing else fwiw

Unfortunately he couldn't find a publisher for the sequel, "The 50 People Who Bought The 50 People Who Buggered-Up Britain".

And what's with the hyphen?!??!

As if that were possible xp.

uh, xxp

lol

Hey, Louis is back! Where you been?

de-accumulating sbs

Buggering-up Britain

would be honoured to make the list of a Lettlet one day

xp - oh right. Well, welcome back!

i devoted a lot of facebook wallspace to things gleaned from this thread, so my ghostly presence was around

There are occasions when you have to legitimately, unironically love the DM, and the caption for the top photo in this article is one of them.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1230142/Pregnant-mother-13-says-I-having-babies-I-twins.html

Sara Foss and Stephen Smith have enjoyed conjuring up wild and wacky names for their 13 children.
We've listed them, from oldest to youngest, and given Sara's reasons for their names.
Patrick – named after Sara's grandmother's surname of Patrick
Stephen – after his doting dad, Stephen
Malachai – after a character in the horror film, Children of the Corn
Peppermint – after Sara started craving mints during her fourth pregnancy
Echo – after a group of eco-campaigners who Stephen met during a job at work
Eli – another character in the 1984 film Children of the Corn
Rogue – a character in the film X-Men
Frodo – hobbit in Lord of the Rings
Morpheus – a character in film, The Matrix, staring Keanu Reeves
Artemis – book character, Artemis Fowl, an obnoxious teenage criminal
Blackbird – named after a gathering of blackbirds which flew onto Sara's lawn
Baudelaire – named after the Baudelaire orphans which featured in Lemony Snicket's film A Series of Unfortunate Events
Voorhees – named after serial killer, Jason Voorhees in the horror movie, Friday The 13th

LOL xp

and not xp

However best rated comment reminds me why I should never never read the comments.

This is a form of child abuse as her other young children can't all be receiving dedicated care from her.

She should be sterilized immediately.

If she had the money to support her large brood then she could have as many babies as she wants to but whilst everyone else is paying for them she should be stopped NOW.

- jo jo, Swansea, 23/11/2009 9:47

i love the way they got 3 children in and were like 'fuck it let's scar the bastards'

I think poor little Rogue got the worst deal.

I met someone who was seriously considering 'Rogan' as a first name for their son, middle name 'Josh'.

Think they settled on Sam Osa or something instead though.

Dan Sak.

Dopey Aza

Jill Frezi

Chik En Tik Aaaaaaaaaaaaah Me Sailor

More like Jacob Screek

I think there's an ancient British bylaw that states if you name your kid Voorhees you are henceforth allowed to do whatever the fuck you like

By all accounts he's a jolly good fellow.

And Keyser Söze all of us

xp stealing that for the xword thread

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1232413/Children-legally-sold-sexually-explicit-DVDs-loophole-law.html

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/12/01/article-1232413-076D2BF7000005DC-276_468x219.jpg

There's going to be some pretty cheerful people working in metal labels' press depts today

poor Gaahl

they all sound great, but none of them actually feature murder so wtf daily mail?

um, "Strangled" ?