Condoms: classic or dud?

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The smell makes me go floppy.

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 15:24 (nineteen years ago) link

One of my favorite things about working in restaurants is, in the kitchen, when you're carrying something hot and dangerous, you yell to people coming around kitchen corners warnings such as "hot shit, comin' around!". At one particular restaurant, where we served ribs, we began simply shouting "RIBS" at one point, which over time morphed into one of my favorite restaurant shouts of all time: "RIBS FOR HER PLEASURE".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 November 2004 15:25 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't like Trojans. They're breaky, I've found. The best condos ever are the ones made by Planned Parenthood.

Or you could just get a vasectomy and remain monogamous. That's some pretty good sex.

― Kenan (kenan), Friday, 5 November 2004 15:40 (nineteen years ago) link

But you gotta be careful about the AIDS in the LADYBOYS then Kenan.

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 15:41 (nineteen years ago) link

I do not have sex with ladyboys.

― Kenan (kenan), Friday, 5 November 2004 15:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Condoms suck, but it would suck even more if they didn't exist.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 5 November 2004 15:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Sorry got to be careful about that whole projecting myself onto others thing.

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 15:44 (nineteen years ago) link

condoms are handy for posh wanks.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 5 November 2004 15:53 (nineteen years ago) link

Steve, man, really, I'm worried about you. We have to find you a girlfriend (or a ladyboyfriend, if you'd prefer).

In answer to the question - DON'T GIVE ME NO BABIES YOU EVIL MENG, OK?

― emil.y (emil.y), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:03 (nineteen years ago) link

They're so tight that they kill my bone usually.

total dud, but there's no other alternative, really.

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:56 (nineteen years ago) link

They're so tight that they kill my bone usually.

worst brag/excuse ever...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Friday, 5 November 2004 16:57 (nineteen years ago) link

They're so tight that they kill my bone usually.

worst brag/excuse ever...

I use Magnums, myself.

― Super, Friday, 5 November 2004 17:02 (nineteen years ago) link

I tried those 'Avanti' non-latex ultra-thin things and they were rubbish. Hard to get on when you, um, get a hard on... *cough* and they were damn expensive. Dud.

I don't mind the other 'thin' ones though - they roll on easy and I don't have any major complaints, so I won't say dud, but I do prefer no-condom sex when it is possible...

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Friday, 5 November 2004 17:04 (nineteen years ago) link

I have a hard time staying as stiff as I would like with the things sometimes. The worst is when you start to go mushy while you're trying to get the thing on. Grrrr. The occasional lack of understanding from some girls when it comes to such difficulties pisses me off too.

It seems the more expensive they are (the thin ones) the less problems I have with them.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 5 November 2004 18:49 (nineteen years ago) link

choady isn't a brag!

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Friday, 5 November 2004 18:51 (nineteen years ago) link

this is like saying "Sex: classic or dud?"

I don't even know where to begin. Condoms are lame, but so so so much better than babies and diseases that it's kind of a moot point.

Sex sucks though.

― Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:04 (nineteen years ago) link

Am I the only person who thinks they're pretty OK? Gold Circle Coins, esp. Of course, I used condoms EVERY time I had sex for many years, so got used to 'em.

― Douglas (Douglas), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:26 (nineteen years ago) link

am I the only one who found it funny that steve mentioned something about 'projecting himself' upthread?

― still bevens (bscrubbins), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:30 (nineteen years ago) link

The worst is when you start to go mushy while you're trying to get the thing on. Grrrr.

Quite OTM, sadly.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:34 (nineteen years ago) link

TOO MUCH INFORMATION DUDES.
SERIOUSLY.

― Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:35 (nineteen years ago) link

Ian, I love you, but I'm sorta surprised it's you saying this is TMI.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:36 (nineteen years ago) link

...OR NOT ENOUGH?

X POST

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:37 (nineteen years ago) link

This has just kind of turned into the "dudes talking about not keeping it up" and that's WEIRD. YOU ARE NOT BOB DOLE.

― Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:38 (nineteen years ago) link

i totally enjoy them. last longer. with good ones (like Kimono) you can barely tell it's on.

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:43 (nineteen years ago) link

"Kimono"! Does it come with a little cock obi?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:58 (nineteen years ago) link

Your search - cock obi - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:
- Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
- Try different keywords.
- Try more general keywords.
- Try fewer keywords.

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:07 (nineteen years ago) link

TMI WARNING

The thing that mostly makes them dud for me is that without them I usually stay hard after coming, and with them I don't.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:09 (nineteen years ago) link

NEEDED LARGER TMI WARNING

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:11 (nineteen years ago) link

You're just lucky I didn't submit photographic evidence with that post.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:13 (nineteen years ago) link

They smell like the bag I used to carry my papers around for devivery in = UNSEXY.

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:15 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm afraid I'm too amused by this thread.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:17 (nineteen years ago) link

Why did femidoms never catch on?

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:19 (nineteen years ago) link

Because the world hates its women.

― Kenan (kenan), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:57 (nineteen years ago) link

Possibly because guys are more willing to wear something uncomfortable in order to get layed.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:03 (nineteen years ago) link

women wear high heels to look sexy all the time. corsets also. etc. etc.

― Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:05 (nineteen years ago) link

I have never seen a woman in a corset outside of a Jane Austen movie.

― Kenan (kenan), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:07 (nineteen years ago) link

underwire bras, then. or tight skirts.

― Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:10 (nineteen years ago) link

b00bs

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:13 (nineteen years ago) link

what about them?

― Kenan (kenan), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:19 (nineteen years ago) link

c.f. corsets, underwire bras and short skirts.

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:22 (nineteen years ago) link

women wear uncomfortable things to make themselves attractive all the time (and have, historically.) I think steve was implying that this could extend to breast implants. complaining about condoms, to me, is kind of like complaining about penicillin.

― Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:23 (nineteen years ago) link

It's more like cough medicine, but Ian pretty much OTM.

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:24 (nineteen years ago) link

Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're after sex.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:24 (nineteen years ago) link

The worst is when you start to go mushy while you're trying to get the thing on. Grrrr.

We need Momus here to tell us about his plastercasting experience.

Classic if George Bush's dad had used one.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:25 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't think anyone suggested that thermo

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:28 (nineteen years ago) link

I never thought the burning question "How is a bra like a condom?" would ever get answered.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:31 (nineteen years ago) link

Well yes, because I brought up the issue of the uncomfortableness of condoms then Ian mentioned heels etc.

xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:33 (nineteen years ago) link

"I hate dressing up for formal events because the condoms are just so uncomfortable."

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:35 (nineteen years ago) link

I can't believe you're suggesting the only reason men wear condoms is to get laid.

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:35 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.costumes-4-halloween.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/2688newT.jpg

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:36 (nineteen years ago) link

Skipping 10 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

oh you know what i meant, silly

xpost

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Saturday, 6 November 2004 00:10 (nineteen years ago) link

that's really gross. don't tell us such things.

― Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 6 November 2004 00:16 (nineteen years ago) link

Why use Femidoms?
Some gay men have problems with condoms. If you do, you may have found that these problems have stopped you from fucking, or encouraged you to fuck without the protection of a condom. Unless you always use condoms for fucking, you could be exposing yourself and your sexual partners to HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.
Perhaps you have difficulty in getting conventional condoms on because they are too tight or won’t go over the head of your dick, or because they are too loose. Perhaps they won’t stay on, due to the shape of your dick, or you or your partner goes soft when trying to get them on. Many gay men say that condoms reduce sensitivity, that putting them on interrupts spontaneity, or that they have split during sex.
If you have experienced any of these difficulties, you may find that Femidoms can help. They are a practical alternative to conventional condoms which some gay men now prefer.
How to use them
There are two main ways to use Femidoms for fucking. Both have advantages, and you will need to experiment to see which you prefer.
With the inner ring
Femidoms have a loose ring inside, which was designed to allow them to be inserted into the vagina before sex, but it is equally useful in aiding it to be inserted into the arse; this can be done before sex if preferred. Getting a Femidom in can take some practice: you can put it in yourself, or get your partner to do it. It comes with some lubricant on it, but you will need more; put some inside the Femidom and some on your arsehole.
Next, take the Femidom, and pinch the inner ring in half from the outside to flatten it, you can slide the end of the Femidom up your arse. Once the ring is inside, slide your finger inside and push the ring in further. Just before fucking, more lube should be applied to his dick. When fucking, your partner should be careful to ensure that his dick has gone inside the Femidom and not into your arse alongside it.
Without the inner ring
The inner ring can be removed and the Femidom can be used as a baggy condom which is slid over his dick just before fucking. Remember to use lots of extra lubricant inside, or he may find that his dick clings to the Femidom rather than slides in and out of it.
Advantages
If you use a Femidom he does not have to pull out immediately after cumming as he should with the conventional condom. He can go soft inside you and the Femidom can be removed when it suits you. To remove a Femidom, twist the outer ring to keep the cum from dribbling out and then gently pull.
Femidom should not be reused and should be thrown away once removed. Do not put a Femidom down the toilet.
Some people have found that when Femidoms are used, the sensitivity is returned to the penetrating partner.
Femidoms are made from polyurethane; this means they are not damaged by oil based lubricants, (to ensure that you don’t inadvertently use the wrong lubricant with conventional condoms, some people advise that you stick to your standard water based lube if you continue to use condoms as well as Femidoms). For anyone who likes to massage before sex, Femidoms are likely to be a safer alternative, as massage oils will not harm them. Remember your arse is very sensitive and that some lubricants can cause irritation check you are not allergic to a lubricant before you use it.

Remember: Femidom only provides a barrier between two people, if there is more than one person fucking, the penetrating partners will not be protected from each other

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Saturday, 6 November 2004 00:33 (nineteen years ago) link

Yikes.

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 6 November 2004 00:44 (nineteen years ago) link

where was that article from? the language is so bad in it

― ken c (ken c), Saturday, 6 November 2004 03:51 (nineteen years ago) link

I have never seen a woman in a corset outside of a Jane Austen movie.

I see it all the time, in my apartment.

― Jordan (Jordan), Saturday, 6 November 2004 04:02 (nineteen years ago) link

I demand photographic evidence of this

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Saturday, 6 November 2004 04:10 (nineteen years ago) link

i've never had sex without one, so i may be looking at this the wrong way, but:

how can something that helps you get laid ever, EVER be a bad thing?

are there women out there that don't insist on them when with casual partners?? if such a being exists, i don't think i'd have sex with her, to be honest.

― d.arraghmac, Saturday, 6 November 2004 05:18 (nineteen years ago) link

The worst is when you start to go mushy while you're trying to get the thing on. Grrrr.
Solution: get the girl to help you put it on.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Saturday, 6 November 2004 05:49 (nineteen years ago) link

i've never had sex without one, so i may be looking at this the wrong way

I'm not trying to encourage the spread of disease or unwanted pregnancy, understand. But sex without a condom is a whole different ballgame.

― Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 6 November 2004 07:35 (nineteen years ago) link

Classic. Obviously in monogamous relationships there are better methods, but condoms are still extremely important. In other situations, unless you have discussed the method of birth control, I think condoms should be assumed. Having to say, "Well, um, don't we need to... get something?" in the heat of the moment = TOTAL DUD

― Laura E (laurae55), Saturday, 6 November 2004 21:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Solution: get the girl to help you put it on.
I tried this but they aren't usually good at it for some reason.
Another thing that would help is if while you're fishing around your drawer or whatever for the condom and taking out of the packaging etc (enough time to begin wilting) your partner would make some sort of effort to keep you aroused. I don't understand why so many of the girls I've been with seem to think that they should sit back and stare off into space while I'm doing all this!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 6 November 2004 21:31 (nineteen years ago) link

This is exactly why it's good to get them involved with putting on the condom. True, they're usually not good at it (hey, practice makes perfect!), but at least you're touching each other and interacting, rather than the guy fumbling around while the girl lies around and waits. At the very least, you can both have a good laugh about the whole thing, which decreases the stress and anxiety that either person may be feeling.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Saturday, 6 November 2004 22:26 (nineteen years ago) link

okay, another question:

exactly how long does it take you guys to roll a rubber tube down your penii (penium, penises??)

― d.arraghmac, Saturday, 6 November 2004 23:28 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm not sure. It's harder to do with a stopwatch in one hand.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Saturday, 6 November 2004 23:41 (nineteen years ago) link

well, try one-mississippi, two-mississippi then

― d.arraghmac, Saturday, 6 November 2004 23:42 (nineteen years ago) link

Aw hell, I can't say those big words when I'm concentrating on my cock.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Saturday, 6 November 2004 23:43 (nineteen years ago) link

Besides, if you say mississippi a few times by the time you get the condom on you have to pee.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Saturday, 6 November 2004 23:44 (nineteen years ago) link

this topic has been hijacked somewhat.

besides, if you need to urinate slightly your orgasm is much more intense.

― d.arraghmac, Saturday, 6 November 2004 23:48 (nineteen years ago) link

We need to do a series of tests of that hypothesis involving mothers walking into their adolescent sons' bedrooms right at the Crucial Moment.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Saturday, 6 November 2004 23:57 (nineteen years ago) link

how about walking into the kitchen?

― d.arraghmac, Sunday, 7 November 2004 00:04 (nineteen years ago) link

That can be the control group.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Sunday, 7 November 2004 00:20 (nineteen years ago) link

no, the control group would have to be the aunts that changed your bedsheets while staying over once...

― d.arraghmac, Sunday, 7 November 2004 00:31 (nineteen years ago) link

"whole different ballgame"

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 7 November 2004 03:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Pleasure Plus condoms fucking rock. they were passing out thousands at the folsom street fair in sf and i took about 7 samples home.

http://www.pleasureplus.com/

― leese, Monday, 8 November 2004 01:53 (nineteen years ago) link

(I'm slow)

I have never seen a woman in a corset outside of a Jane Austen movie.

Hello, goth sexxy deth chixors at goth clubs! Hell even I have a nice corset I wear out now n then.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 8 November 2004 03:08 (nineteen years ago) link

Also yeah condoms are a neccesary evil... but guys, why dont you try going on the pill sometime.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 8 November 2004 03:08 (nineteen years ago) link

i would LOVE TO

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Monday, 8 November 2004 03:10 (nineteen years ago) link

as long as it didn't make me impotent

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Monday, 8 November 2004 03:10 (nineteen years ago) link

they smell so gross. Condoms, I mean. What is that about?

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 8 November 2004 03:12 (nineteen years ago) link

complaining about condoms, to me, is kind of like complaining about penicillin.

I am allergic, to penicillin.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 8 November 2004 03:13 (nineteen years ago) link

Two probs with male pill:
- no way to prove guy has taken it (and he's not the one at risk of the bubbeh, so you know...)
- scientists claim they wont release one til they can get past all the supposedly nasty side effects like loss of libido, weight probs and etc. HELLO WE ALREADY PUT UP WITH THIS WITH THE FEMALE PILL.

Sorry, slight bugbear of mine.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 8 November 2004 03:15 (nineteen years ago) link

The loss of libido problem strikes me as a bigger problem with the male pill than with the female pill, mainly there are ways to get around loss of physical arousal with females if they're mentally interested, whereas it's a little more difficult to do that with a dude. No amount of lube gonna help if it's just not gettin' up.

Not to agree either way with the second statement, I've never had a problem with libido loss through female pills. The one girl I knew who bitched about this a lot, it was not a mental arousal issue, it was a physical wetness issue.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 8 November 2004 03:18 (nineteen years ago) link

Maybe they should sell it with viagra, sort of like how RU486 is two steps, male pills are two steps. This obviously means about 4 people in the world will use it regularly.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Monday, 8 November 2004 03:18 (nineteen years ago) link

Pardon the TMI but anyway:

More than once I'm tempted to get a vasectomy simply because the likelihood of me not having kids is growing. Unfortunately, some data indicates that going that route increases the risk of prostate cancer -- and as I've said a few times my family clearly has that as a specific genetic risk (my grandfather died of it, my uncle nearly so, my dad was detected early last year), so I'm not anxious to increase it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 8 November 2004 04:07 (nineteen years ago) link

You're assuming loss of libido in males is always a bad thing - not sure it would be to be honest.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:56 (nineteen years ago) link

no way to prove guy has taken it (and he's not the one at risk of the bubbeh, so you know...)

are the ways to prove that girls have taken it? (the dudes don't have to carry the bubbeh but it doesn't mean he's not "at risk" of it!)

haha for mark a loss of libido will just bring it back to slightly above average.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 8 November 2004 12:08 (nineteen years ago) link

eight months pass...

We were discussing this last night with friends, and we agreed that the worst thing about condoms, besides the lessened sensation, is that with them sex often becomes performance-oriented... You can't have longer pauses and cuddling and stuff in between, because you can't let the little man to go limp. Or at least you'll have to have several condoms lying around, which often isn't the case. But obviously in many cases they're still the only reasonable option, so you'll just have to accept them as the necessary evil.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 10 July 2005 19:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Having to say, "Well, um, don't we need to... get something?" in the heat of the moment = TOTAL DUD

OTM right there.

― Candicissima (candicissima), Monday, 11 July 2005 13:12 (eighteen years ago) link

fifteen years pass...

Oh no god, please help me...

Vietnam police seize more than 320,000 used condoms

...The condoms were reportedly washed, reshaped with wooden dildos and then repackaged before being resold...

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-54284355

"Wooden dildos"??

― Andy the Grasshopper, Thursday, 24 September 2020 18:23 (three years ago) link

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