sounds like he's still into you
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Friday, 6 November 2009 21:59 (fourteen years ago) link
x-post Yep. This is the first time you've heard from him since that email though, right? I remember you said you knew it would be weird when/if you had to go to his bar but srsy fuck him and just go.
― bear say hi to me (ENBB), Friday, 6 November 2009 22:00 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah this is the first time since i was like "no rly never speak to me again". here is the email:
Subj: If possible
Emily,****'s band will be playing here on the 29th and that I have to work that night with sound/bartending. I would appreciate if you would not attend the show. I'd rather not see you --not right now at least.
Thanks.****
― e\m/ily (roxymuzak), Friday, 6 November 2009 22:02 (fourteen years ago) link
"and that i have to work that night"
― e\m/ily (roxymuzak), Friday, 6 November 2009 22:03 (fourteen years ago) link
the correct response to that is "what part of 'no rly never speak to me again'" was ambiguous?" imo
― Yeah~ I can flay~~~ (HI DERE), Friday, 6 November 2009 22:04 (fourteen years ago) link
im not going to respond at all, just show up to the show and and party as heartily as possible
― e\m/ily (roxymuzak), Friday, 6 November 2009 22:04 (fourteen years ago) link
At this point I think that's probably the best way forward.
― bear say hi to me (ENBB), Friday, 6 November 2009 22:05 (fourteen years ago) link
that's kind of exactly how "what part of 'no rly never speak to me again' was ambiguous?" should be communicated imo
― Yeah~ I can flay~~~ (HI DERE), Friday, 6 November 2009 22:06 (fourteen years ago) link
haw!
― e\m/ily (roxymuzak), Friday, 6 November 2009 22:07 (fourteen years ago) link
wow i'm not even sure what the right word for his behavior is.
― call all destroyer, Friday, 6 November 2009 22:56 (fourteen years ago) link
god this guy reaches new heights by the day
that doucheant imo if u feel me
― Nanobots: HOOSTEEND (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Friday, 6 November 2009 23:00 (fourteen years ago) link
haha old school
― e\m/ily (roxymuzak), Friday, 6 November 2009 23:06 (fourteen years ago) link
srsly i think i am going to literally wear bells to this show
I can understand where he's coming from - but considering the "cunt" business, with that he pretty much surrendered any right he had for you to be considerate of his sensitive widdul fee-wings.
― sarahel, Friday, 6 November 2009 23:07 (fourteen years ago) link
x-post <3
― bear say hi to me (ENBB), Friday, 6 November 2009 23:14 (fourteen years ago) link
too bad it isn't Halloween - you could get your friends to ask him, "What are you dressed up as, an asshole?"
― sarahel, Friday, 6 November 2009 23:16 (fourteen years ago) link
― sarahel, Friday, November 6, 2009 6:07 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark
Exactly. I was being super respectful of his space and kind to/considerate of him until that little incident. He does not "get it" (where it = any and everything).
― e\m/ily (roxymuzak), Saturday, 7 November 2009 00:13 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah, i'm trying to avoid getting to the "gloves off" stage w/mine. I'm being extremely respectful and nice, but maybe too nice.
― sarahel, Saturday, 7 November 2009 00:17 (fourteen years ago) link
Respectful is fine. Nice is overrated.
― Yeah~ I can flay~~~ (HI DERE), Saturday, 7 November 2009 00:20 (fourteen years ago) link
its tough when you still care about someone who has wronged you
― e\m/ily (roxymuzak), Saturday, 7 November 2009 00:24 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah :/
― how rad bandit (gbx), Saturday, 7 November 2009 00:25 (fourteen years ago) link
I get that; my advice really revolves around "respectful" having the necessary coldness/impersonableness to create the distance necessary for you both to get to a healthier interaction point (where that may mean never seeing each other again or being good friends).
― Yeah~ I can flay~~~ (HI DERE), Saturday, 7 November 2009 01:00 (fourteen years ago) link
yesterday we had the talk about "there will soon come a time when we have to sit down and sort our stuff."
― sarahel, Saturday, 7 November 2009 01:01 (fourteen years ago) link
that just makes me dread the impending real-deal conversation that will happen between my parents re: stuff
lol c u house i grew up in
― how rad bandit (gbx), Saturday, 7 November 2009 01:44 (fourteen years ago) link
the hardest part will be dealing w/stuff we received as a couple as gifts.
― sarahel, Saturday, 7 November 2009 01:46 (fourteen years ago) link
take everything you like as a starting position, if he makes hassle let it go. he's not really in a position to make hassle though, so as i said start with everything.
― banned of bros. (darraghmac), Saturday, 7 November 2009 01:51 (fourteen years ago) link
let all the couple shit go unless you love it. it'll depress you later
― e\m/ily (roxymuzak), Saturday, 7 November 2009 01:51 (fourteen years ago) link
the only things i wish i'd put up a 'fight' over in my last breakup were the photos. lol pre-digital storage
― banned of bros. (darraghmac), Saturday, 7 November 2009 01:53 (fourteen years ago) link
i wish id taken my kitchen stuff. not that it was a fight, i just left it there. that still pisses me off
― e\m/ily (roxymuzak), Saturday, 7 November 2009 01:54 (fourteen years ago) link
the couple shit is mostly dvds, so it's not super sentimental value type things. There are a couple pieces of his artwork that I'd like to keep, but I dunno, maybe I don't want to keep them?
― sarahel, Saturday, 7 November 2009 01:55 (fourteen years ago) link
leaving kitchen stuff? outrageous.
― banned of bros. (darraghmac), Saturday, 7 November 2009 01:57 (fourteen years ago) link
the kitchen stuff is almost all mine. the tv/vcr/dvd player - all mine.couch - mine.bookshelves - 60/40 - mine/hisbooks - 60/40 - mine/his (though a bunch of his really nice art books were things I gave him as gifts cause I have a work discount)back issues of Art in America magazine dating back to 1992 - his, all hiscds/records - almost entirely mine, one or two things that could be "ours" - he never really listens to musicmovies - 40/60 mine/his - though most of the good ones are mine and a lot of his are crappy
― sarahel, Saturday, 7 November 2009 02:04 (fourteen years ago) link
keeping an ex's artwork while not desiring "couple-y" things is a vexing personal and somewhat emotionally abstract problem i don't imagine most ppl have to deal with
(not helpful, but still)
― how rad bandit (gbx), Saturday, 7 November 2009 02:05 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah, there's a drawing i really like, and a sculpture that i really like that in its way really encapsulates our relationship
― sarahel, Saturday, 7 November 2009 02:06 (fourteen years ago) link
these things are his, but i'm trying to decide if i want to ask if i can have them. the sculpture is pretty cumbersome and would be annoying to move/find a place for if he's moving to a smaller place.
― sarahel, Saturday, 7 November 2009 02:08 (fourteen years ago) link
see i can understand how this goes with the whole being v angry/upset w/someone that you, in some ways, respect...thing
cf pretty sure my dad was a 'bad actor' (<--lol med speak) in the disintegration of my family, but i still ~like him, you know? he's been my fucking dad for nearly thirty years, and is otherwise the same dude.
VEXING
― how rad bandit (gbx), Saturday, 7 November 2009 02:10 (fourteen years ago) link
not that our situations are in any way similar, obv
― how rad bandit (gbx), Saturday, 7 November 2009 02:11 (fourteen years ago) link
sorry gbx - that sounds really horrible to deal with - how large a role do you have in this?
― sarahel, Saturday, 7 November 2009 02:11 (fourteen years ago) link
lol wait did am i REALLY the reason mom and dad are fighting????
j/k
unclear. i mean, my mom's going blind and sort of relies on others for 80% of her non-home agency, so it's gonna be a lot on my sis and me, eventually.
― how rad bandit (gbx), Saturday, 7 November 2009 02:16 (fourteen years ago) link
back issues of Art in America magazine dating back to 1992 - his, all his
lol keep these u can give them to me!
― plaques (I know, right?), Saturday, 7 November 2009 14:12 (fourteen years ago) link
ha! his previous ex-girlfriend complained about these - how much room they took up - and that was in 1997. He's accrued over a decade's worth, since. It's actually a good magazine with some really interesting articles.
― sarahel, Saturday, 7 November 2009 17:52 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah i love art in america, dave hickey has been writing a column in it for a while now and the article they had a few months back about "provisional painting" was like porn 2 me
― plaques (I know, right?), Saturday, 7 November 2009 17:55 (fourteen years ago) link
there were actually a couple issues he had that had articles I used for my MA thesis.
― sarahel, Saturday, 7 November 2009 17:56 (fourteen years ago) link
also where i first came across blinky palermo and james bishop
― plaques (I know, right?), Saturday, 7 November 2009 17:58 (fourteen years ago) link
Blinky Palermo always reminds me of the Dead Milkmen song "Bitchin' Camaro"
― sarahel, Saturday, 7 November 2009 17:59 (fourteen years ago) link
as art magazines go it is refreshingly unhip
― plaques (I know, right?), Saturday, 7 November 2009 18:04 (fourteen years ago) link
i had a subscription to artforum for a while, some of it would be really great and fascinating, and some of it would have this grating "too hip for you" quality. I think there was some article or blog post a while ago that did a comparison between Artforum and Vogue. I hadn't thought about it before, but in a lot of ways they are similar.
― sarahel, Saturday, 7 November 2009 18:09 (fourteen years ago) link
yeah that makes sense actually
― plaques (I know, right?), Saturday, 7 November 2009 18:14 (fourteen years ago) link
I will not miss the way you set the alarm for a time unrealistically early considering when you went to sleep and it goes off for fucking ever before it jars you into hitting snooze.
― sarahel, Saturday, 7 November 2009 20:22 (fourteen years ago) link
ugh that is a terrible trait. maybe not a conscious bad habit but cmon thats inconsiderate
― johnny crunch, Saturday, 7 November 2009 20:34 (fourteen years ago) link