Awesome Audiophile Snake Oil

Not really made of beans :-(

why stop at the outlet, why not get all of the wiring in your house replaced, get a gold-plated fuse box, have the wiring from the substation to your house replaced with monster cables...

Dear Amazon.com Customer,
As someone who has shown an interest in the music of Miles Davis, you might be interested in Miles Davis Tribute Jazz Headphones from Monster. These headphones have been engineered specifically to reproduce music the way Miles heard it onstage.

This limited-edition product is the perfect portable in-ear speaker for jazz lovers and audiophiles alike. Learn more about the cutting-edge technologies behind these headphones--including certified Monster cable and speaker technologies--on the product detail page.

That might be the most ridiculous niche product I have ever heard of.

if it could recreate the experience of hearing the electric stuff through the fug of cocaine abuse, it could be amazing you know!

yeah somehow I don't think the cutting edge technologies can reproduce an eightball.

if it could recreate the experience of hearing the electric stuff through the fug of cocaine abuse, it could be amazing you know!

Cocaine's cheaper.

I figured anyone willing to run an unsecured wi-sock network, especially with a 381 in-line, was OK with others sharing the experience. I found one nearby with the humorous network name "Download Viruses to your Shakti Stones." I laughed, but just to be sure, I unhooked the silver bi-wired cables from my Shaktis and stored the stones and cables in my lead-lined closet. When I logged on to my neighbor's network, some strange shiat began to happen. Among other strange things, my Matrix 801s began to phase in and out of an optical and sonic illusion of being Wilson MAXX 3s, the electrical cords on my room lamps took on the appearance of Siltech Emperor Crown cables, and the entire room, me included, was engulfed in a spiritual and non-annoying 60 cycle hum. I terminated the connection when my wife interrupted me and said I was scaring the dog.

^^ awesome

hahaha

I had an invite to the "unveiling" of those Monster headphones, and even the promise of an open bar (and its NYC and I am broke and I like to drink and I could have brought a plus one) still was not enough to conquer the embarrassment I would have felt being there.

this is the greatest thread ever. thanks for the LOLs, i needed them.

http://www.shakti-innovations.com/hallograph.htm

but they don't even say how they work and what little explanation they give seems impossible...

http://i48.tinypic.com/244nuyu.jpg

oh, okay. sold!!!

btw, the "hot stampers" guy sells these!!!

I'm all for reducing EMI.

yeah i consider the fact that the hot stampers guy sells them a large chink in his armor. Yes the prices he charges for vinyl are high but I think his reasoning (regular press in good condition usually better to remasters on 180g) is fairly sound.

http://wallywashis.name/mp3/%5Bno%20artist%5D/CD%20Laser%20Lens%20Cleaner%20With%20Voice%20and%20Music%20Instructions/

http://www.combak.net/otherproducts/OTHERPRODUCTS.htm

Having never heard of record clamps at all before today boy am I excited about Tuned Record Stabilizer Clamps!!!

Tuning Record Matte TU-800EXi Improved Version

Tunes your record platter assembly at a frequency outside the audio band and eliminates the resonance which affects your sound. Improves balance and clarity, adds depth, and boosts information concentration across the entire sound range. Each instrument is clearly delineated and the naturalness of the tone is enhanced. The mat is lighter than ever before, and is now compatible with almost any turntable.

・ Width: 29.3cm (11.53')
・ Thickness: 3.0mm (0.117')
・ Weight: 210g (0.462 lbs)
・ Color: Black, gold, or silver

Sells for $1,350!

my record clamp cost $20 and was a worthwhile purchase

Mine came with the Gyro as it's sort of an essential part of the system (there's no mat). I think they're about £15 to replace.

record clamps are awesome. though for a really high-end setup, i could see spending around 100-200 for a big chunk of inert, non resonant metal, for 1350 it better also do the dishes too.

Since I know nothing about them - do they attach to something under the record or just work by being heavy?

it's amazing how much verbiage these sites can produce that is just this side of making sense. it's like it lends the illusion of making sense without actually being the slightest bit coherent

"the whole musical presentation seems to be naturally set in its recording venue to a greater degree."

"The Hallograph Soundfield Optimizer is a mouth-full to say, looks strange in pictures, is hard to comprehend at first sight how or why is should even work, and does everything as advertised."

indeed.

this shit is like 9/11 conspiracy theories, it mostly makes me kind of sad that anyone is invested in it.

Since I know nothing about them - do they attach to something under the record or just work by being heavy?

Trichord/Michell's own website is reassuringly/disappointingly un-snake oil about it:
[Modern vinyl records are thin, flexible and often warped or bowed. As most records do not lie flat on the turntable platter, sound reproduction suffers due to undamped vinyl resonances caused by the stylus riding on an unsupported record. Records which are bowed downwards contact the platter at the outer edge but not in middle. Conversely, records that are warped or bowed upwards tend to rock on the platter. In these instances anti-skating compensation is less effective and record wear is increased substantially by the lateral or vertical see-saw motion of the tonearm/cartridge combination.

The Michell Record Clamp solves the above problems by bringing the record into more intimate contact with the platter.

Whoops - hadn't finished formatting that. Oh well.

I've wanted to get a record clamp but to deal with warped records, I don't know if this is just buying into audiophile conspiracy-theories or not, places don't seem to sell them, ones like these:

http://www.residentadvisor.net/images/features/2009/james-murphy-richard-branson.jpg

Warped records also seem to play less consistently pitch-wise, which matters for things like solo piano especially.

"the whole musical presentation seems to be naturally set in its recording venue to a greater degree."

a lot of this stuff is badly written - it really rivals DJ writeups on flyers for trying to use a limited and vague and boringly repetitive vocabulary to describe something that is much more trivial in words that in reality ("DJ [x] consistently rocks parties from [x] to [x].")

that being said, the above as a desireable goal and audible benefit makes sense. whether the product in question actually provides it is impossible to tell without hearing it.

do you people who think this is all bullshit think so for recording as well? you can find versions of all of the typical audiophile debates happening in serious recording forums amongst trained professionals (ie not just dudes with $50,000 to spend on a stereo system)

Oh, it's much less prevalent though, isn't it? One of things I noticed when I got into sound engineering and started to venture into the world of mastering studios, pro-audio and the like, is how much less attention is paid to absurdly expensive cabling, fancy isolation systems for solid state electronics and various bits of audiophile lore. It's all about room prep, speaker tuning, etc.

studios definitely spend good money on cabling, but buy in bulk and do the soldering themselves. you can probably save 75% or more doing this but you might have to buy 500 feet of cable ;-)

absolutely some of the outlying tweaks of the audiophile world havent made it to the pro side, but the attention to very small details and how they effect sound certainly is shared. Lost of pro studios = dedicated AC circuits for certain components, all sorts of AC line noise filtration systems, careful choice of construction materials, sound treatment materials, careful placement of speakers in the room, concern over the sonic effect of speaker being placed on the bridge of large consoles and the attendant reflections, etc. not to mention the long arguments certain mastering engineers might get into over EQs and compressors, etc., or that mix engineers might have over how well one lexicon reverb "attaches itself" to a snare drum versus another...

to some people all of the above stuff would be a stupid tweak.

Surely no one would characterise careful speaker placement as a stupid tweak. As I say, it's all sensible stuff on the pro side, and with a fairly sound scientific basis. I can totally understand a dedicated mains spur for a $100k mixing console, where any AC breakthrough is going to be in the recording forever, but not so much for someone's home system (assuming the amps' power supplies are doing their jobs properly). As for cables, are studios buying decent shielded OFC (in whatever configuration they need) in bulk or are they buying the Nordost/van den Hul exotica?

As for EQ/compression, you're talking about subjective impressions of sound manipulation by various flavours of modelling algorithm and people are gonna have their favourites. It's not really in the same realm as domestic hi-fi reproduction.

I don't read either thesedays but the difference I noticed as I drifted from audiophile discussion groups to pro-audio discussion groups about 8-10 years ago (as my interests changed) was how all manner of wackiness was indulged on the former (or at least provoked heated exchanges) but mention of a $200 SPDIF interconnect or a $400 mains cable on the latter was pretty much laughed out of the room. I thought that was kinda revealing.

Surely no one would characterise careful speaker placement as a stupid tweak. As I say, it's all sensible stuff on the pro side, and with a fairly sound scientific basis. I can totally understand a dedicated mains spur for a $100k mixing console, where any AC breakthrough is going to be in the recording forever, but not so much for someone's home system (assuming the amps' power supplies are doing their jobs properly).

depends on what you mean by a home system. very high-current amps benefit from dedicated mains. EMI uses Classe and B&W consumer gear. those classe amps want a lot of current. I am sure EMI makes sure it is available, why not at home? but yeah, it would totally be silly to have a dedicated line for an Onkyo HTR.

As for cables, are studios buying decent shielded OFC (in whatever configuration they need) in bulk or are they buying the Nordost/van den Hul exotica?
I have seen some exotica go into studios. Most nice studios seem to go somewhere in between, certainly better sounding and more expensive stuff than Monster (type "Mogami" into the Gearslutz search engine and watch your computer explode). Shunyata power conditioners ($$$) have a good rep in the pro world.

As for EQ/compression, you're talking about subjective impressions of sound manipulation by various flavours of modelling algorithm and people are gonna have their favourites. It's not really in the same realm as domestic hi-fi reproduction.

I think there is, for instance, a lot of similarity between how engineers might discuss a mic preamp and how audiophiles might discuss a phono preamp. Not the features, functionality, etc, but how two gain stages with knobs might render music in very different ways. And a lot of the same words are used "air", "roundness", etc.

I don't read either thesedays but the difference I noticed as I drifted from audiophile discussion groups to pro-audio discussion groups about 8-10 years ago (as my interests changed) was how all manner of wackiness was indulged on the former (or at least provoked heated exchanges) but mention of a $200 SPDIF interconnect or a $400 mains cable on the latter was pretty much laughed out of the room. I thought that was kinda revealing.

I think things are changing a little bit on this account, which is good, not because a $2000 SPDIF cable is always better, but because it is usually better to experience something firsthand before having an opinion.

Funny how I always end up discussing high-end audio at Xmas/New Year...

I've no issue with dedicated mains spurs if you're wiring from scratch, for example (a friend of mine did this when he rewired a decade ago - separate loop for his Naim amps), but it's pretty difficult to A/B this stuff to tell if it's really worthwhile. In a recording environment - fine, do whatever you can to isolate your gear from mains nasties (though a well-designed power supply in an amp is supposed to do this).

Mic preamps, phono preamps - well, we're talking about very sensitive, interdependent, high-gain systems there (mics and carts not producing much in the way of signal and being at the mercy of the downstream cabling too, in a way line-level devices and ordinary power amp-speaker combos really aren't), so I can believe small changes in design make a big audible difference. I'm all for florid language too!

it is usually better to experience something firsthand before having an opinion.

Well, one can't listen to everything and going out of one's way to audition (or double-blind test - if you're serious) an expensive example of something that physics and electrical engineering tells us is very unlikely to be audibly different to something costing $20 seems like a waste of time. The science behind signal transmission in conductors is fairly well understood and in the audio range it's pretty trivial stuff. Now, I'm sure you can mess it up with exotic materials, unconventional designs and badly mismatched loads, but if it's fit-for-purpose, it should be pretty transparent. The pro-audio people seem to know this stuff, hence their dismissive stance.

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence and, as you say, the badly-written sales puff for a lot of this stuff really doesn't do it any favours. But that Michell blurb I posted upthread for its record clamps - straightforward, sensible, a solution to a known issue that works in a fairly clear mechanical way. If you have a product that really makes a difference, why obfuscate or talk in pseudery? Bring the facts. Cos you must've tested it to know it does this thing you claim, right? Or how else did you arrive at the design?

And Happy New Year!

this is a very reputable website so... but... what is this shit?

http://www.needledoctor.com/Dynavector-DV-507-Limited-Edition-Tonearm?sc=2&category=6

also weird ESL-style copy:

In part that is probably down to the excellent geometric accuracy of the 507 (you'd expect nothing else from such an obviously engineered product), but it also suggests a deep and abiding understanding of the flaws in so much reproduced music. Listening with the Dynavectors went a long way to removing the system from the equation. It wasn't that they were invisible, more that they didn't intrude. It's a trick that the current products haven't forgotten. Twenty years ago, when the accepted benchmark was an SME 1 11 with a V15-IV, the combination of the 505 and the 13D must have been either a culture shock or something of a revelation, depending on your point of view. The fact that it still makes a valid musical statement today suggests which it should have been. I for one have thoroughly enjoyed our long awaited introduction.

like those sentences parse on their own, but they don't actually seem to mean much of anyhing.

haha yeah that is weirdly written

i cannot tell you how much i love living in the city where the needle doctor is based, being able to buy anything and have it installed for free in the store rules so much

how can a TONE ARM make a "valid musical statement"--or a "musical statement" of any kind?????

you live in minneapolis?

Sometimes I wonder if those reviews are written by actual people, or auto-generated from a perl script or something

Xpost - yes, needle doctor has a storefront here though most of their business is online, really nice guys work the counter and will do minor install and repair for you if you're buying the part there

"these new coaxial cables i bought are sort of halfway between jazz and classical... kind of remind me of henry threadgill. whereas my older cables make more of a postpunk statement."

http://www.mymusicmask.com/en/home.html

Oh my god! That's beyond your average audiophile snake oil, that's just about utter fraud!

I already bought three

you really need three for the proper listening experience

Actually that makes sense to me. It's just about focusing your concentration on one sense, though. You could stick a pillowcase over your head for the same effect though.

Or buy a $1.99 sleep mask.

I wish I could find it but I saw a link for these power cables that were about $20,000

Oh man... is it hard to break into these circles? I'd only want to sell one cable!