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From chatroom #philatelyrox:

HingeLord: What's happening at the Festival?
Serrated: Don't know, something about a bomb
CancelMaster: Who'd be crazy enough to do that?
UpsideDownPlane: Something got past InterStampPol.
Angelus: I always thought they were overrated.
Serrated: Fuck U, Angelus, get the stick out of your ass.
Angelus: * sighs * -- are you ever going to grow up?
Serrated: Only when you shut up.
CancelMaster: Not again, cut the crap.
STAMPGOD: BoMbS! cOoL!
HingeLord: Speaking of growing up...
UpsideDownPlane: Hey, that's weird?
HingeLord: What?
UpsideDownPlane: Report just came in, Nightingale's exhibit is closed.
CancelMaster: Huh? Why?
UpsideDownPlane: Hold on...something about an emergency, Nightingale was called away.
Angelus: Was he. I have to wonder.
Serrated: Don't think too hard, you might hurt yourself.
Angelus: I can deal with your obnoxious quips, Serrated, stop trying to impress me.
Serrated: Whatever dude.
SlyStampCat has joined the chat.
SlyStampCat: Heya
HingeLord: Hi SSC!
Angelus: Greetings.
STAMPGOD: SlYsTaMpCaT! YoU R HoTT!
SlyStampCat: Sorry, no time for little boys today.
Serrated: Haha.
UpsideDownPlane: lol
SlyStampCat: Reporting in from the Festival
HingeLord: Hey yeah, what's the haps?
SlyStampCat: Bunch of Russian stamps got shredded by a small bomb, they're already blaming everyone from the Mafia to Checnyans.
CancelMaster: Ouch
SlyStampCat: But the weird thing...
HingeLord: Yes?
Serrated: So weird not even SSC can report it!
SlyStampCat: Sorry, I was distracted by something. Weird thing is out front, they found somebody dead.
CancelMaster: Who?
SlyStampCat: Not sure -- seemed to be some sort of priest, but he looked more like a bouncer.
Angelus: Hm, really.
HingeLord: Gotta be the Holy Office pulling some shit. Stupid fucktards.
Angelus: The Holy Office is more powerful than you know, HingeLord
Serrated: The Holy Office is run by some freaked out insane old guy, you know that Angelus. You seem to know a lot about it anyway!
CancelMaster: Yeah, Angelus, stop kissing his ass.
Angelus: I see I'm just going to be insulted again.
Angelus has left the chat.
HingeLord: Haha!
STAMPGOD: DoOd, ThAt GuY sUxOrS!
HingeLord: Not as much as you.

^@^ (map), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 18:43 (thirteen years ago) link

UNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

^@^ (map), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 18:43 (thirteen years ago) link

why are you two doing this to yourselves?

shabba ranks (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 18:46 (thirteen years ago) link

lol

and what (ooo), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 18:48 (thirteen years ago) link

no special reason, just your garden-variety cocktail of boredom, stress and self-hatred

^@^ (map), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 18:48 (thirteen years ago) link

some serious zing deficiency going on here

elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 18:49 (thirteen years ago) link

no, i think someone mentioned ned's sideburns a few posts back

cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 18:53 (thirteen years ago) link

im getting bored of the whole variant question/same answer routine, so heres a little play for you all i call "Equally possible ILE threads: Two threads in two acts" (Pls allow for some creative license ie the unlikelyhood of the party in act two)


Act 1, Thread 1:

My neighbours are having a party again! Its loud!
-- Bee 1

Im SO sorry, Bee 1! How dreadful. *hugs!*
-- Bee 2

OMG!! They should burn in hell! Call the cops. Take it to the city. Youve got rights!
-- Bee 3

Yeah, but you don't have an apostophe. :P
-- HotGrammarCop (imustbeintelligentbecauseicanpunctuate@mommysaidso.org)

Show up at their door with a knife!
Better still...AN AXE!
-- Bee 4

LOL!!!!1!11 OMG You should totally do that.
-- Random Kiss Ass

Act 2, Thread 2:

Someone showed up at my door with an axe last night! I was having a party!
-- Bee 1

Im SO sorry, Bee 1! How dreadful. *hugs!*
-- Bee 2

OMG!! They should burn in hell! Call the cops. Take it to the city. Youve got rights!
-- Bee 3

Yeah, but you don't have an apostophe. :P
-- HotGrammarCop (imustbeintelligentbecauseicanpunctuate@mommysaidso.org)


You should have another party next weekend!
Better still...A LOUDER PARTY!
-- Bee 4

LOL!!!!1!11 OMG You should totally do that.
-- Random Kiss Ass

-- sunny successor (he hates my guts, we had a fight)

and what (ooo), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 18:54 (thirteen years ago) link

Did the stag film resemble your plans for Rachael Ray, Shakey?

-- milo z (wooderso...), Today 7:32 PM.

GILLY'S BAGG'EAR VANCE OF COUPARI (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 19:07 (thirteen years ago) link

I was once involved with a nu-metaller-type bloke. He wanted to combine our tastes in music and call our offspring (ha! no pun intended) Zombie Jarvis. That would have totally rocked.

-- ailsa (ailsa_watson7...), October 22nd, 2003.

rocked a bag of dicks

-- oops (don'temailmenicelad...), October 22nd, 2003.

autovac (autovac), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 20:08 (thirteen years ago) link

xxpost - that sunny post is a classic

am0n (am0n), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 21:58 (thirteen years ago) link

24. Simpsons quote thread
25. Minor board member commiting suicide and being over-eulogised by people who didn't actually know who he was
26. Hilarious David Hasselhoff photos
27. Someone explaining what Godwin's Law is
-- Sadly, he will be the next Alexis Petridish. (juror...), October 11th, 2006 5:28 PM. (Dom Passantino) (later)

has 25 ever happened here?
-- electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsoun...), October 11th, 2006 5:36 PM. (electricsound) (later)

god willing.
-- shabba ranks (wt...), October 11th, 2006 5:38 PM. (dubplatestyle) (later)

^^REAL LULZ

HUNTA-V (vahid), Thursday, 12 October 2006 06:14 (thirteen years ago) link

You two are like the Wonder Twins of ILM. Except your secret powers are "Form of a sexless shut in," and "shape of a virgin."
-- Mr. Que (pelagi...), October 12th, 2006 11:21 AM.

geoff (gcannon), Thursday, 12 October 2006 17:13 (thirteen years ago) link

lolololololo

am0n (am0n), Thursday, 12 October 2006 17:17 (thirteen years ago) link

haha where is that from?

shabba ranks (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 12 October 2006 17:55 (thirteen years ago) link

i shouldn't encourage them but this had me laughing:

Is "catch a ride with a Yankee" the new "subsequentially meet the Brooklyn pavement"? I like it better than the old one, it's catchier, funnier, showing significant improvement. A-.

-- Allyzay lives aprox. 200 feet away from a stadium (allyza...) (webmail), Today 10:06 AM. (allyzay) (later) (link)

http://www.stlouiswalkoffame.org/images/phyllis-diller.gif
-- Dr Morbius (wjwe...) (webmail), Today 10:10 AM. (Dr Morbius) (later) (link)

▒█▄█ ▄▄▄ ▒█▄█ , Thursday, 12 October 2006 20:02 (thirteen years ago) link

'Marquee Moon' LP is overrated xpost

sleep (sleep), Thursday, 12 October 2006 20:04 (thirteen years ago) link

'virgin' is just the greatest insult

geoff (gcannon), Thursday, 12 October 2006 20:10 (thirteen years ago) link

You two are like the Wonder Twins of ILM. Except your secret powers are "Form of a sexless shut in," and "shape of a virgin."

-- Mr. Que (pelagi...), October 12th, 2006. (Mr.Que)

scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 13 October 2006 14:46 (thirteen years ago) link

omg, someone already posted that and i didn't even look. i guess it was THAT funny.

scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 13 October 2006 14:46 (thirteen years ago) link

who was that in reference to?

sometimes my entire life be like DAMNNN! (tehresa), Friday, 13 October 2006 14:51 (thirteen years ago) link

god, you're making me start to agree with TOMBOT ffs

-- cousin larry bundgee (bge...) (webmail), October 12th, 2006 4:58 PM. (bundgee) (later) (link) (admin) (userip)

Allyzay lives aprox. 200 feet away from a stadium (allyzay), Friday, 13 October 2006 15:03 (thirteen years ago) link

ANDWHAT: have you ever seen the in living color seinfeld sketch
SHIPLEY: i'm not sure
ANDWHAT: jim carrey as seinfeld & the fat guy as george
ANDWHAT: its on youtube
ANDWHAT: i highly recommend it
SHIPLEY: yeah this is good
SHIPLEY: why does George look like Newman, though
ANDWHAT: cmon in living color only had so many white dudes
SHIPLEY: isn't that djdee's blog
SHIPLEY: somanywhitedudes.com

and what (ooo), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 03:31 (thirteen years ago) link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WApgLmHh_gI

and what (ooo), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 03:32 (thirteen years ago) link

when people say "um, yeah," or "um, no" like milo at the top of this thread it's like the anti-zing.

s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 03:33 (thirteen years ago) link

*index fingers extended, thumbs touching*

HUNTA-V (vahid), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 03:49 (thirteen years ago) link

go to hell, troll bitch from jersey.

-- Orbit (cstarrcstar...)

it's sort of comforting to think how many people worldwide are going to be laughing at that.

-- g--ff (misterhungr...)

and what (ooo), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 03:54 (thirteen years ago) link

http://media.musictoday.com/store/bands/1302/images/body_artist_image.jpg

jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 03:58 (thirteen years ago) link

lol @ gov't names blogger saying my blog is full of white dudes.

deej.. (deej..), Wednesday, 18 October 2006 14:44 (thirteen years ago) link

i am sort of amazed that people like "atomic dog" better
-- HUNTA-V (vfoz...), October 18th, 2006 3:04 AM. (vahid)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am sort of amazed at pretty much every opinion you have, Vahid, so I guess the feeling is mutual.

-- Matos-Webster Dictionary (michaelangelomato...), October 18th, 2006 3:25 AM. (M Matos)

Stormy Davis (diamond), Thursday, 19 October 2006 00:27 (thirteen years ago) link

Dear diary,
it has been weeks since I was kicked out of the no wagemanns club. Today, like everyday, I plan to stand outside knocking on the door, saying anything that might come across as effective to those standing on the other side of the door. I know this will work.

once I regain access to the no wagemanns club, my insight will enlighten them to no end, as they are desperately in need of my work. They don't even know that rockism means liking rock music. they think it's some kind of bad word. where did they get this idea from? they need me.

tomorrow, i will continue knocking on the door and saying anything and everything to mock its members and regain entry.

diary, you are my best friend.

love,
wagemann
38, rockist soldier, from Illinois, likes big boobs

-- PappaWheelie: Giving out breaks to the needy since September 25th, 2006 (evieandjo...) (webmail), October 17th, 2006 9:18 AM. (later) (link)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You're as stupid as him, no joke.

-- Eyeball Kicks (eyeballkick...) (webmail), October 17th, 2006 8:31 PM. (later) (link)

gear (gear), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:33 (thirteen years ago) link

that seinfeld parody was really lame.

jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 19 October 2006 16:43 (thirteen years ago) link

go watch gilmore girls or something

and what (ooo), Thursday, 19 October 2006 17:12 (thirteen years ago) link

ok.

jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 19 October 2006 17:15 (thirteen years ago) link

less played jaymc bashing more zingers

shabba ranks (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 19 October 2006 17:16 (thirteen years ago) link

Shakey Mo + internet connection = broken record

-- am0n (vvv...) (webmail), October 18th, 2006 10:33 AM. (later) (link)

gear (gear), Thursday, 19 October 2006 17:22 (thirteen years ago) link

this is like a boomarang zinger

whatever dude, he rules and is my friend.
-- hstencil (hstenc!...), October 19th, 2006 2:43 PM. (hstencil) (admin) (userip)

myspace != real friends
-- roc u like a ยง (jo...), October 19th, 2006 3:03 PM. (ex machina) (admin) (userip)

says the boy who spent all day flirting with a myspace ho
-- sometimes my entire life be like DAMNNN! (melissais...), October 19th, 2006 3:08 PM. (tehresa) (admin) (userip)

jaxon (jaxon), Thursday, 19 October 2006 21:23 (thirteen years ago) link

when i read that on the thread it's on i actually went 'zing zing zing!' (not out loud)

rrrobyn, the situation (rrrobyn), Thursday, 19 October 2006 21:31 (thirteen years ago) link

hstencil and I are much more like Statler & Waldorf at the peak of their storied virility.

-- Dr Morbius (wjwe...) (webmail), Today 9:10 AM. (Dr Morbius) (later) (link)

are those your gay childhood icons?

-- Dr. Alicia D. Titsovich (evi...) (webmail), Today 9:14 AM. (sexyDancer) (later) (link)

▒█▄█ ▄▄▄ ▒█▄█ , Friday, 20 October 2006 13:41 (thirteen years ago) link

one for the ages:

i need help with addresses (street or www)

-- a name means a lot just by itself (lfamula...), October 20th, 2006. (lfam) (later) (link) (admin)

Here you go, broski

-- jaxon (gnarls.in.charg...), October 20th, 2006. (jaxon) (later) (link) (admin)

Don't you work at yahoo?

-- gbx (polarbea...), October 20th, 2006. (skowly) (later) (link) (admin)

▒█▄█ ▄▄▄ ▒█▄█ , Friday, 20 October 2006 13:50 (thirteen years ago) link

If you master a tennis video game, you'll never be allowed to have sex period. *rimshot*

-- The GZeus (gzeusmant...) (webmail), October 20th, 2006 3:47 AM. (The GZeus)

So I take it you mastered a tennis game at an early age then?

-- Darramouss (darramous...) (webmail), October 20th, 2006 8:09 AM. (Darramouss ftw)

lol @ easy nerd zingers

sleep (sleep), Friday, 20 October 2006 15:45 (thirteen years ago) link

is Nick Sylvester working for pitchfork again?
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/page/track_reviews/38116/Wolf_Eyes_The_Driller#38116

-- a little knowledge can go a long way (lfamula...) (webmail)

He's like the Dane Cook for creepy undergrad Harvard girls.

-- GILLY'S BAGG'EAR VANCE OF COUPARI (ca...) (webmail)

▒█▄█ ▄▄▄ ▒█▄█ , Sunday, 22 October 2006 23:36 (thirteen years ago) link

A man wakes up in the morning and he says to his wife "Woman, you have three choices what you can do today, you can take it in the ass, you can come fishing with me or you can suck my dick", so his wife is shocked and says "Oh lord, I don't know dear, give me a few minutes to decide", so the man says "Ok I'm going down to get my fishing gear ready and when I come back you better have an answer". A few minutes later the man comes back up and says "Well?" so his wife says "I've decided I'll suck your dick", the guy is delighted and takes his knob out, but just as he's about to cum his wife takes his dick out of her mouth and shouts "thats disgusting, your dick tastes fucking awful", and he says "yeah the dog didnt fancy going fishing either".

-- Ronan (fitzge...)

What a horrible joke.

-- Tom (ebro...)

and what (ooo), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 20:07 (thirteen years ago) link

hahah

s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 20:12 (thirteen years ago) link

Someone should release a box called 100 High School Stage Bands From The Early 1970s Alone That Play Better Than The Shitty Indie Rock Band You Like

-- A-ron Hubbard (Hurtingchie...), October 24th, 2006. (Hurting) (later) (link)

how about 100 High School Stage Bands From The Early 1970s Alone That Play Better Than The Shitty Indie Rock Band You're In?

-- hstencil (hstenc!...), October 24th, 2006. (hstencil) (later) (link)

sometimes my entire life be like DAMNNN! (tehresa), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 22:19 (thirteen years ago) link

http://erudition.org/archive/zing/zzlogo.gif

sleep (sleep), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 22:41 (thirteen years ago) link

WOOAHHHHAAA~~~~!!! That logo just made me desplode up my pants!!!@#!@#!@ GWA GWA

chaki (chaki), Tuesday, 24 October 2006 22:55 (thirteen years ago) link

zingzang is for serious the best bloody mary mix ever.

Fetchboy (Felcher), Thursday, 26 October 2006 03:48 (thirteen years ago) link

That first paragraph of that stylus piece is a clumsily-disguised plagiarism of an ILM post from our old friend gygax!.

-- Steve Shasta (steveshast...), October 25th, 2006 5:05 PM. (Steve Shasta) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Link?

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), October 25th, 2006 5:07 PM. (jaymc) (later)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was going to ask you actually...

-- Steve Shasta (steveshast...), October 25th, 2006 5:11 PM. (Steve Shasta) (later)

Stormy Davis (diamond), Thursday, 26 October 2006 21:41 (thirteen years ago) link


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