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almost posted that yesterday

Wally
We now have to protect ourselves from the Police and their peeping tom wives-OMAL
Today, 18:29:07
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http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/6458222/sharks-born-via-bizarre-caesarean-section/

woah that is awesome

http://wjz.com/local/bra.inmate.wash.2.1307686.html

http://www.thepeoplesentinel.com/news/hauling-heavy-superload-shipment-makes-its-way-slowly-through-region
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http://www.greenvilleonline.com/article/20091130/NEWS01/91130006/Protesters-arrested-in-Greenville-at-Duke-Power-generator

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/1281/bigrig.jpg

http://cmsimg.greenvilleonline.com/apps/pbcsi.dll/bilde?Site=BS&Date=20091130&Category=NEWS01&ArtNo=91130006&Ref=AR&Profile=1004&MaxW=550&MaxH=650&title=0

Totally thought dude on the left was this happy Juggalo:

http://media.modbee.com/smedia/2009/04/23/20/755-LIVE_p0424_24b1ferrell.standalone.prod_affiliate.11.jpg

http://www.thepeoplesentinel.com/news/hauling-heavy-superload-shipment-makes-its-way-slowly-through-region

I am loling @ this story

"I'm anxious to see that turn onto Clinton Street - that's a tight turn. There's a lot of jackknife turns," Riley said.

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/crime/bal-plane-stolen1228,0,98027.story

FREDERICK - Authorities say a homeless man tried to leave town in a stolen plane but crashed the single-engine aircraft on a Frederick Municipal Airport runway before he ever left the ground.

Calvin Cox, 51, remained in custody Monday after a District Court commissioner set his bail at $10,000 on felony charges including theft, burglary and trespassing.

Lt. Clark Pennington said a Frederick County Sheriff's Office canine team found Cox unhurt in woods near the runway after an airport worker reported the crash of the Piper Super Cub at about 2:15 a.m. Monday.

Pennington said Cox is familiar with airplanes but not proficient in their operation. The plane, owned by the Mid-Atlantic Soaring Association, sustained damage to the fuselage and propeller, according to Pennington.

He is a terrorist who should be tried as Al-Quaida. Look at his pic. He looks like Taliban.

ChrisM929 (12/28/2009, 4:23 PM )

Pennington said Cox is familiar with airplanes but not proficient in their operation.

this is a weird sentence because it could mean anything from "he saw a plane in the sky one time and thought it was a pterosaur" to "he's a pilot but not a very good one."

he looks like a drowsy Aristotle.

http://www.goupstate.com/article/20100105/ARTICLES/100109906/1083/ARTICLES?Title=GSP-concourse-cleared-after-threat-suspected-near-plane

A concourse at the Greenville-Spartanburg International Airport was evacuated for a short time this morning after a TSA employee discovered an open, unattended door, an airport official said.

GSP spokeswoman Rosylin Weston said the employee made the discovery at about 10:30 a.m., and officials evacuated Concourse B and a Delta plane, which only had crew on board. The Delta plane was the only one on the tarmac at the time.

A bomb-sniffing dog was brought in and smelled something on the plane's front wheel. A bomb squad was called in, but later found nothing. The scene was cleared just before noon.

About 50 passengers were sent back through security and are on their way.

http://www.wltx.com/news/story.aspx?storyid=77595

Richland County (WLTX) -- Deputies in Richland County say they've arrested the final suspect who they say robbed a cell phone store on Sparkleberry Lane.

One of the suspects, however, died shortly after the crime took place.

Investigators with the Richland County Sheriff's Department say 24-year-old Thomas James spray-painted his face to conceal his identity during the crime.

Deputies say the man began having trouble breathing shortly after the crime, then died. The exact cause of his death has not been released.

http://www.thestate.com/breaking/story/1122710.html

News - Breaking News
Friday, Jan. 22, 2010

Eat chicken with a deputy

Looking for something to do today at lunch?
The Chick-fil-A at 2600 Decker Blvd. is inviting area residents to eat with a Richland County sheriff’s deputy, part of "Sheriff’s Appreciation Day."
The event, which will include games and other activities, runs from 10:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. Sheriff Leon Lott will be on hand from 11 a.m.-noon.

Sheriff's Appreciation Day was this story printed in the old west?

Newville man was driving on I-81 with pants down, police say
By CHRIS A. COUROGEN, The Patriot-News
January 22, 2010, 3:01PM

When state police questioned David F. Line about a report from a truck driver who allegedly saw Line driving on Interstate 81 in Silver Spring Township, Cumberland County, with his pants around his ankles and without both hands on the steering wheel, Line had an explanation.

According to court documents, Line, 49, of Doubling Gap Road in Newville, told police he had been eating a cream-filled doughnut and some of the filling had fallen on his pants. He pulled them down so he could clean himself, Line said, according to court documents. The truck driver saw his private parts because he was wearing loose-fitting underwear, Line said, according to court documents.

Nonetheless, state police charged Line with open lewdness and disorderly conduct. Line will receive a summons to appear in court to answer those charges. No hearing date has been set.

David F. Line, 49, of Doubling Gap Road in Newville, is a terrible liar.

http://thestandard.com.hk/news_detail.asp?we_cat=4&art_id=83499&sid=24232911&con_type=1&d_str=20090616&fc=2

The Consumer Council has warned shoppers that what may look like a toilet paper bargain at their local supermarket may in fact be a tissue of lies.

is this local 4 anyone

Authorities believe Wash. man electrocuted by urinating on downed power line after car crash

By Associated Press

3:53 p.m. EST, March 1, 2010

MONTESANO, Wash. (AP) — Authorities believe a Washington man was killed by accidentally urinating on a downed power line after a car crash.

Grays Harbor County sheriff's Deputy Dave Pimentel (PIM'-en-tel) said Monday 50-year-old Roy Messenger was not seriously hurt after he collided with a power pole Friday and called a relative to pull his car from a ditch.

However, family members found Messenger electrocuted when they arrived.

Pimentel says Messenger apparently urinated into a roadside ditch but didn't see the live wire. The urine stream likely served as a conductor, allowing the electricity to reach his body.

Pimentel says there will be an autopsy but burn marks indicated the way the electricity traveled through Messenger's body.

LOL totally misread dude's name and thought http://www.roydmercer.com/ had died a death by flaming genitals. I was pretty pumped to tell my dad.

Today is a good day for Brighton, UK:

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/5048949.Window_cleaner_killed_himself_with_giant_pencil/

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/5047984.If_you_can_t_find_a_pregnant_woman__find_a_big__fat_man/

Mr Craze! It's like a new Roger Hargreaves

"His only psychotic episode..."

sheesh

Haha, I hadn't actually noticed 'Mr Craze' before. That is an awesome name.

I hadn't realized that "Mr." is not punctuated in the UK

too bad punning opportunities are sadly limited because there is only one word in the English language which starts with "mr"

http://horiwood.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/jasonmraztriesharder.jpg

http://www.theargus.co.uk/resources/images/1225608/?type=display

)o_O(

"Martin added that Mrs Norton’s business idea had inspired his band who will be playing at the Rat & Trumpet in Dyke Road, Brighton, on Friday."

lol akira xp

whoa there's a road called that in brighton, talk about not playing up to stereotypes

lovely article tho

Fat Craig David lookalike on the run

http://www.eveningstar.co.uk/content/eveningstar/news/story.aspx?brand=ESTOnline&category=News&tBrand=ESTOnline&tCategory=xDefault&itemid=IPED07%20Mar%202010%2015:30:24:510

http://kstp.com/news/stories/s1457528.shtml

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S06dcExPgno

this isn't really a local story, but scott rothstein's sentence might be eased because he cooperated with federal agents to set-up a mobster. it happened after rothstein returned from morocco to face fraud charges in his absurd ponzi scheme.

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/local/20100318_Inquiry_into_racist_announcement_at_Glouco_Wal-Mart.html

Victoria Arter was stunned by the loudspeaker announcement.

"Attention, Wal-Mart shoppers," she recalled hearing the calm male voice begin. "Will all the black people please leave the store. Thank you."

I have been to this wal-mart

RIP Cankles

John Gormley, Green Party Minister and my boss, has asked people to turn off all of their electrical items for an hour at 8.30pm tomorrow.

He's giving a televised speech about it for Earth Hour. Televised. At 8.30pm tomorrow.

grrrroooosssss

http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2010/04/06/fish-winter-kill/

Not my locality, but this has been the lead story on their website for over a week:

http://www.kiowacountysignal.com/features/x1031038020/Brisk-start-to-ticket-sales-for-Jones-concert

Brisk start to ticket sales for Jones concert

Featured Business » By Mark Anderson, Editor
Kiowa County Signal
Posted Apr 01, 2010 @ 02:57 PM
Greensburg, KS —

Tickets to the May 1 George Jones concert went on sale this morning at local outlets Mackie Shae Boutique, BTI (Greensburg, Pratt, Bucklin) and Boot Hill Casino. Promoter Landon Laughban told The Signal he'd sold more than 100 tickets between 7:30 a.m. and noon Thursday over the phone.

"My phone started ringing this morning at 7:30 and it's been ringing off the hook since," promoter Landon Laughban told the Signal shortly after noon Thursday, five hours after advance ticket sales for the May 1 George Jones concert got underway.

"It's gotten off to an even better start than I expected," Laughban continued. "None of the tickets I've sold yet (over the phone) have even been from Greensburg folks. They've been orders from people in Hays, Garden City, Liberal, Wichita and Kansas City." Laughban, in fact, said a Jones fan from Florida called him shortly after news of the concert went up on Jones' website last month to ask inform him she would fly in to Wichita to attend the event set for four weeks from Saturday.

The concert will be held on the grassy fields of Greensburg’s Municipal Airport on the east edge of town just three days short of the May 4, 2007 tornado that leveled the county seat of formerly 1,400 people. Proceeds of the concert will go to aid the rebuilding of the historic Twilight Theatre, which will serve as a cinema and live performance theatre/auditorium for the new school set to open its doors next August. The theatre is currently at least $1.5 million short of the funds needed for completion.

Gates to the event will open at 5 p.m. on May 1 with three bands—Mike Benish, Retroactive and Jason Savory—set to precede Jones’ scheduled 9 p.m. appearance on stage. Jones is slated for a 75 to 90 minute performance. While Laughban is hesitant to predict how many he expects to show up for the event, he did acknowledge first day sales is a typically good indicator of an event’s popularity. The airport site is expected to handle a maximum of 5,000 fans.

Those unable to pick up tickets at any of the five outlets—Mackie Shae Boutique in Greensburg, Boot Hill Casino in Dodge, BTI in Greensburg, Bucklin and Pratt—can order tickets in advance over the phone at 580 273 8044.

I couldn't find it but a coworker told me he saw a news story on the tee-vee about an 11 month old baby in Eagan who, autopsies showed, had been given cold medicine and his mothers' prescription pills, and was left alone with the family dog, "Dealer" (who had been starved for days), and was eaten!

BUT, googling this found a number similar stories across the country, including multiple stories about dogs eating babies' genitalia!!!

'Night y'all I'm gonna have sweet dreams.

My favorite front-page headline from the local paper was "Mountain lion preys on pet poodle."

http://www.salisburyjournal.co.uk/news/8116189.Dog_injures_nose/

not 2 be missed
Surgeons extricate hot-sauce bottle from state inmate
Thursday, April 29, 2010 2:55 AM
By Alan Johnson
THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH

An inmate in a state prison was hospitalized and needed emergency surgery to remove a hot-sauce bottle he apparently had used as a sex device.

Taxpayers will end up paying the prisoner's medical bills, expected to run into the thousands of dollars.

The Ohio Department of Rehabilitation and Correction won't release the name of the inmate, citing federal regulations regarding the privacy of medical records.

However, a report by the State Highway Patrol, which initially investigated the incident as a rape case, said an inmate at the Noble Correctional Facility in Caldwell was taken to Marietta General Hospital on Sunday evening after saying he had been sexually assaulted in the shower by another prisoner.

The injured inmate later acknowledged that he had not been assaulted, but on his own had inserted the hot-sauce bottle anally, sources said.

"At this point, we don't believe there was a perpetrator involved in the incident," said prisons spokeswoman Julie Walburn.

However, sources said, surgery was required to remove the bottle. The inmate was hospitalized and was treated in the intensive-care unit.

Walburn said the state won't know the total cost until all medical bills are submitted.

State officials frequently point out that the state is required by law to provide medical care for prisoners - even those who harm themselves. The state is self-insured and pays its own bills.

it really says NOT 2 BE MISSED on top, i didn't write that. it just pasted in lowercase for some reason.

OMG, I wish I lived in Kiowa, Kansas! Here's an update to the George Jones story that I posted 2 weeks ago:

http://www.kiowacountysignal.com/features/x57965003/Gallagher-doing-show-same-night-as-Jones

Greensburg, KS — Acting on a tip from a reader The Signal discovered Wednesday morning the May 1 George Jones concert will have some regional competition. Nationally known pop comedian Gallagher will be performing that same night at 8 p.m. at Dodge City’s Civic Center. Jones is slated to take the stage at 9 p.m.

“I didn’t know that,” was Spirit of Greensburg Committee member Steve Kirk’s response when informed of the Gallagher event later Wednesday. “It’s hard to say what effect that will have on our concert here, but you hope it’s minimal.” He also said an attempt had been made to “see if there were any conflicts on that date. Looks like we missed that one.”

While advance tickets to the Jones event are $23 and $25 at the gate those to Gallagher are $20.50 in advance for general admission and $30.50 for VIP seating ($5 more for tickets at the door.)

Like Jones, Gallagher is still performing past his prime, the 63-year-old’s act reaching its zenith in the 80’s, when he was one of the most popular and recognizable American comedians. He produced at least one special a year from 1981 to 1987, all of which aired on the Showtime cable network. As of last year he’d done 16 television specials in all.

Relying heavily on physical prop comedy, Gallagher is best known for his “Sledge-O-Matic” sketch, in which he uses a large wooden mallet to smash a variety of objects including computer keyboards, tubes of toothpaste and watermelons. Audience members in the first several rows often wear raincoats as a precaution against the mess of that particular act, which is a parody of mid 60’s to 70’s television ads for the Ronco Veg-O-Matic kitchen appliance used to slice and dice vegetables.

Jones’ ticket sales moderate to date…

Jones concert promoter Landon Laughban was asked Wednesday evening by The Signal how advance ticket sales were progressing. “Great, we’re almost to our goal,” Laubhan said. Asked want that goal might be, Laubhan said such information would have to be released by Spirit of Greensburg members.

While not citing a specific number Thursday morning following a long meeting the night before between Spirit of Greensburg and Laubhan, committee member and treasurer Steve Kirk told The Signal he estimates sales of 1,250 tickets would allow the event to break even, due to funds proceeding from sponsorships. Asked if that goal had yet been reached, Kirk said “no.” Asked if the total from outlets and phone orders were “within striking distance” Kirk said, “You could say that.”

Copyright 2010 Kiowa County Signal. Some rights reserved

http://www.kiowacountysignal.com/archive/x43868471/g12c00000000000000045ca486eb3666a513c98ab3b4e6a3a770661fd92.jpg

Sorry to like, bomb this thread with stories from small news markets other than my own, but this story from a Fox affiliate in Sacremento is pretty rad:

SACRAMENTO - A Sacramento woman has 700-roaches in her home -- not only did she bring them in, now she can't get rid of them.

The insects are called Dubai Roaches. People buy them on places like Craigslist to feed there reptiles. But if the lizards or animals don't like them, the owner is stuck with the bugs and that's exactly what happen.

"There too big that's the only reason he wont eat them"...that's what Jade the bug owner told FOX40 when talking about her pet lizard.

She says she bought a few hundred of the bugs a 2 months ago and now they turned into 700. The Dubia roaches are originally from South America. The males have wings and the females carry around huge sacks full of babies..which means - you guessed it they multiply a lot.

Sign up for FOX40.com Mobile Text Alerts

But Jade the bug owner doesn't want, so not the roaches are back on the market..."I'm asking $100, but I dropped that from $300".

The state requires bug breeders to get a permit, still if the roaches like this get loose they could cause a few problems.

Dr. Lynn Kimsey "The Bug Lady" at UC Davis told FOX40..."they might establish...that's how we get big pest in houses sometimes they get into agricultural area's".

Still Jade the bug owner is hoping her guests will be gone soon and if she can't get cash for them, she might consider giving them away.

SO...DO YOU WANT THEM????

This is close to "how is babby formed" levels of illiteracy.