So I married a chiseler!
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 21:58 (fourteen years ago) link
your first one was really good, forks
Yeah, this one seems most New Yorker-y to me!
― M. Grissom/DeShields (jaymc), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 22:03 (fourteen years ago) link
"covet... thy... neighbor's... wife... now read it back to me."
This is hilarious!
― existential eggs (Abbott), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 22:23 (fourteen years ago) link
I don't care what the bottle said, this is not what "Take two tablets to sleep" means.
Is this one of those "Groany Pun" ones?
― Mark G, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 00:30 (fourteen years ago) link
it's really quite nicely "formed".
― Does the hole come standard or did you have to special order it (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 21 October 2009 01:36 (fourteen years ago) link
"I don't care, if He was that bothered about his commandments, he'd have carved them Himself!"
― Mark G, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 07:19 (fourteen years ago) link
the 'claws' one is seriously funnier than any new yorker cartoon I have seen in my life
― iatee, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 07:59 (fourteen years ago) link
yes.
― Mark G, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 09:41 (fourteen years ago) link
'i dn't care how many followers you have, put that thing away already'
― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 13:31 (fourteen years ago) link
maybe 'followers' in quotes
― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 13:37 (fourteen years ago) link
"I'm guessing 'thou shalt not procrastinate' isn't on your little list."
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 21 October 2009 13:55 (fourteen years ago) link
Tracer, I'd go for a "Twitter for Luddites"" joke.
― the blackest thing ever seen (HI DERE), Wednesday, 21 October 2009 13:57 (fourteen years ago) link
"people who yelp are scumbags"
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 21 October 2009 13:57 (fourteen years ago) link
"I've got a hot chick waiting in bed for me so I'll just chisel this last one:"
― StanM, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 14:37 (fourteen years ago) link
"moses i'm real happy for you and i'm gonna let you finish but aaron had one of the best idols of all time"
― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 15:10 (fourteen years ago) link
j/k
i want my first one included in the damn poll though
― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 15:13 (fourteen years ago) link
with the quote marks
― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 15:14 (fourteen years ago) link
"but if i fucked you marjorie i'd still be chiseling a cold, hard piece of stone and i'd still have the commandments to do in the morning"
― aarrissi-a-roni, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 15:32 (fourteen years ago) link
"when i said you should get a laptop to write on instead, that isn't exactly what i had in mind."
― aarrissi-a-roni, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 15:36 (fourteen years ago) link
"You could have just tweeted - they're all under 140 characters."
― EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 15:42 (fourteen years ago) link
"if I knew you'd become this obsessed with your iSlab I never would have bought it"
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, 21 October 2009 16:02 (fourteen years ago) link
"George's luddite tendencies were not improved by going mobile"
― ever dream some dude? (darraghmac), Wednesday, 21 October 2009 16:04 (fourteen years ago) link
"Please, Hammer, don't hurt them"
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 17:20 (fourteen years ago) link
"a little less chiseling and a little more bangin', God. I want my own Jesus."
― husband of blood - because of the circumcision (Z S), Wednesday, 21 October 2009 23:06 (fourteen years ago) link
Shonda! Shonda for the goyim!
― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 23:18 (fourteen years ago) link
what about "shall not" instead of "should refrain from".
― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 23:19 (fourteen years ago) link
(like that one)
― Mark G, Thursday, 22 October 2009 07:02 (fourteen years ago) link
(although it should be 'shalt' innit?)
"shalt" is the informal second-person conjugation of "shall"
― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 22 October 2009 09:34 (fourteen years ago) link
Truly, god loved us all, informally.
― Mark G, Thursday, 22 October 2009 10:23 (fourteen years ago) link
"it's shalt nor shart"
― cutty, Thursday, 22 October 2009 10:30 (fourteen years ago) link
woops "it's shalt NOT shart"
Shart?
― Mark G, Thursday, 22 October 2009 10:45 (fourteen years ago) link
go on "cutty", explain it
― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 22 October 2009 10:54 (fourteen years ago) link
google provides
― cutty, Thursday, 22 October 2009 11:00 (fourteen years ago) link
OK, got it. it's another suggestion for the caption:
"it's shalt nor shart, woops it's shalt NOT shart oh nevermind.."
― Mark G, Thursday, 22 October 2009 11:05 (fourteen years ago) link
"wait, which one are you 'oops'-ing about?"
― husband of blood - because of the circumcision (Z S), Thursday, 22 October 2009 13:57 (fourteen years ago) link
haha
― cutty, Thursday, 22 October 2009 13:58 (fourteen years ago) link
"I think he was meaning "ass" as in Donkey there"
― Mark G, Thursday, 22 October 2009 14:25 (fourteen years ago) link
"What's it worth to you to drop the "cunnilingus" one?"
― Mark G, Thursday, 22 October 2009 14:27 (fourteen years ago) link
did anybody submit anything? man, we suck at this.
― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Monday, 9 November 2009 16:56 (fourteen years ago) link
this is promising tho
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2009/11/16/p465/091116_contest_p465.jpg
"It's her night off, actually."
― you get ribbons when you're in 4H (forksclovetofu), Monday, 9 November 2009 17:20 (fourteen years ago) link
or more NYorker-y: "Funny you should ask. It's her night off."
― you get ribbons when you're in 4H (forksclovetofu), Monday, 9 November 2009 17:21 (fourteen years ago) link
"Let's get this over with."
― Tracer Hand, Monday, 9 November 2009 17:30 (fourteen years ago) link
"i bet you can squeal like a pig. weee!"
― aarrissi-a-roni, Monday, 9 November 2009 17:59 (fourteen years ago) link
http://modernarthur.com/blog/christwhatanasshole.html
― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 31 March 2010 21:49 (fourteen years ago) link
I feel like I've seen that before, but it makes me lol irl every time.
― Ted. E. Bear, P.I. (Z S), Wednesday, 31 March 2010 23:30 (fourteen years ago) link
http://i42.tinypic.com/14l7ywm.jpg"Christ, what an asshole.
― Ted. E. Bear, P.I. (Z S), Wednesday, 31 March 2010 23:34 (fourteen years ago) link
Man, I finally get an idea for a caption, but it turns out the contest is already closed. (I got the magazine a few days late.)
― jaymc, Tuesday, 27 April 2010 14:02 (fourteen years ago) link