Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers

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A little... she understands ok. Mainly I just tell her stuff to do and point hopefully, then an hour later she might actually do it.

Archel, Monday, 25 June 2007 15:12 (sixteen years ago) link

she sounds like the best co-worker ever!

hstencil, Monday, 25 June 2007 15:13 (sixteen years ago) link

just tell her "tes sins son tellement grosses" - this will cheer her up and improve her overall performance.

The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Monday, 25 June 2007 15:29 (sixteen years ago) link

one month passes...

I was just reminded that "if you don't shit you die."

Drooone, Wednesday, 8 August 2007 01:08 (sixteen years ago) link

):

Drooone, Wednesday, 8 August 2007 01:09 (sixteen years ago) link

Oh and that was a youngish woman who reminded me.

):

Drooone, Wednesday, 8 August 2007 01:37 (sixteen years ago) link

I remind my 3 yr old son of this constantly, though I use the word "poo". I'm sure he views me as his annoying co-worker also.

Forgot My Pencil, Wednesday, 8 August 2007 03:08 (sixteen years ago) link

I love the way that this mean spirited thread was started by one of the nicest people I've met thanks to ILX :)

kv_nol, Wednesday, 8 August 2007 09:04 (sixteen years ago) link

Arrrggghhh, fuck fuck fuck, why does my boss have to be so fucking prolix and long-winded and write 39983837 words where 12 will do and leave me to edit this boring over-stuffed shite so it fits on a page without pushing what everyone else has written into the margins - IF YOU WANT PHOTOGRAPHS 'N NICE GRAPHICS 'N SHIT IN THIS NEWSLETTER THEN TRY NOT REWRITING "WAR AND PEACE" EVERY TIME YOU SIT DOWN AT A COMPUTER! Still, at least she's in Tanzania this week, so I don't have her hovering over my shoulder correcting my grammar and quibbling over semi colons and colons and dashes etc etc.

Tom D., Wednesday, 8 August 2007 09:31 (sixteen years ago) link

I notice I'm a frequent contributor to this page, anyway...

This isn't really that annoying, but the girl in the desk beside me is constantly drinking out of a water bottle - honestly, she drinks gallons of the stuff - what she does is violently grab the bottle, fling her head way back, and noisily glug it like a cowboy necking a bottle o' liquor in a saloon bar scene in a Western, it's all a bit disconcerting

Tom D., Friday, 17 August 2007 14:57 (sixteen years ago) link

that's pretty hilarious, considering that working in a desk doesn't have that great a risk of dehydration.

Maria, Friday, 17 August 2007 15:24 (sixteen years ago) link

I drink a ton of water too as some of my medication makes my mouth impossibly dry. However I don't do it in that fashion. I hate when people make that gurgling noise when they drink.

Ms Misery, Friday, 17 August 2007 15:26 (sixteen years ago) link

My boss/client stressed the hell out of me as the most recent deadlines approached, making changes that turned reasonable looking ads into godawful fugly ones. I was getting really frustrated and pulled something on her I swore I'd never do -- "I hate what you're doing to this ad, but you're writing the checks, so I'll do it."

Ugh, if I ever had any good design sense (and I probably didn't), it all got beaten out of me by someone who wants everything beveled, drop-shadowed and in a starburst.

Rock Hardy, Friday, 17 August 2007 15:39 (sixteen years ago) link

I HATE STARBURSTS!!! WAY TO INSTANTLY MAKE YOUR PRODUCT LOOK CHEAP AND TOTALLY CLASSLESS YOU IMPUDENT TOOL!

The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Friday, 17 August 2007 15:47 (sixteen years ago) link

that was me at my old job.

The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Friday, 17 August 2007 15:47 (sixteen years ago) link

Yeah, but it's "pizzazzy," or so the boss lady tells me.

Rock Hardy, Friday, 17 August 2007 15:49 (sixteen years ago) link

You are just the design monkey. Do what she asks to get your monkey biscuit.

Ms Misery, Friday, 17 August 2007 16:15 (sixteen years ago) link

eep eep! I like the monkey biscuits that have zeroes at the end of them.

Next year will be my 10th year working on this technicolor design nightmare. But the pay is good.

Rock Hardy, Friday, 17 August 2007 16:21 (sixteen years ago) link

None of my coworkers are in my side of the office today so I can be as annoying as I'd like! If only I had a water bottle! I'd wheel my chair up to my desk, slap my hand on my keyboard drawer, and then guzzle down the water.

patita, Friday, 17 August 2007 17:23 (sixteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

We hired a new administrative assistant this week, which is great since we've been in desperate need of one for quite some time. The problem? She is doused in horrible smelling perfume. The smell takes over the entire office within thirty seconds of her coming in the door. I can feel the taste of it in the back of my throat. You'd think that by the time one reached 40, one would know the art of tastfully applying perfume. Apparently not.

jon /via/ chi 2.0, Friday, 7 September 2007 15:57 (sixteen years ago) link

My old boss was like that - I swear he doused himself after his shower, again after he got dressed, and had his wife spritz him as he walked out the door. I'm not entirely certain he didn't carry an atomizer with him. It was almost a visible cloud of stench. You have my sympathy.

luna, Friday, 7 September 2007 16:54 (sixteen years ago) link

Our file clerk is generally a nice person, but I could really live without the minute by minute update of Young & the Restless that she gives her mother via telephone every afternoon.

luna, Friday, 14 September 2007 20:35 (sixteen years ago) link

Stupid co-worker referenced here: Let's bitch about our stupid, annoying co-workers
was fired last week for 1) browsing porn 2) on a PC critical to the plant operation 3) which became virally infected and 4) had to be shut down and cleaned up, invoking the wrath of the state environmental agencies.

Jaq, Friday, 14 September 2007 20:47 (sixteen years ago) link

Carol clips her fingernails AT HER DESK! EVERY WEEK! Gross me out!

Trip Maker, Friday, 14 September 2007 20:48 (sixteen years ago) link

It's JUST GREAT when they pile shit on yr desk at Friday 4:30 and sweetly say "For Monday," ain't it?

Dr Morbius, Friday, 14 September 2007 20:51 (sixteen years ago) link

If they don't specify which Monday, you get to choose.

Jaq, Friday, 14 September 2007 20:55 (sixteen years ago) link

OMG Jaq that is the worst work offense I've heard in a while of whiles.

Abbott, Friday, 14 September 2007 21:45 (sixteen years ago) link

i bite my nails and pick my teeth with the nail. people hate me here. lulz.

chaki, Friday, 14 September 2007 21:55 (sixteen years ago) link

Someone I manage spends the entire day making little 'mmm...hmmm....' noises to herself. During most work conversations she manages to say 'aren't I silly!' or 'how stupid of me!' or 'sorry!' at least twice. She dresses to emphasise this approach to herself. About once every two months she goes apeshit and snaps someone's head off. She is one of the most disconcerting people I have ever met.

ljubljana, Saturday, 15 September 2007 16:21 (sixteen years ago) link

Another person I manage looks as if I have just pained him beyond words if I address him across the desk. He looks up, startled, for all the world as if we are complete strangers or we have both taken a vow of silence (in our loud open-plan office) and asks me with an expression of deep annoyance to repeat what I said.

ljubljana, Saturday, 15 September 2007 16:23 (sixteen years ago) link

My boss (male, 60s) told me that he had to explain to his fellow interviewers (when interviewing yet another person I manage) how you have to be very careful about the 'halo effect' when interviewing young blonde ladies in order to prove that you have genuine reasons for hiring them. 'Because I must say that one must be aware of this. I DO find her very...' (STOP!) ... I mean, I have to say...' (NO YOU DON'T) '...that I do, personally, find her (NOOOOOOO) very attractive as a woman'. (Me: rictus polite smile). Boss: 'Not that you're NOT attractive'. Me (finally snapping): 'Stop digging'.

ljubljana, Saturday, 15 September 2007 16:28 (sixteen years ago) link

My most annoying co-worker is this horribly nerdy fellah who punctuates every other sentence with a nerdy snark followed by the voiceless laughter of breathing loudly through his teeth, as if he's terribly amused by his bad joke, but can't muster the strength to laugh out loud at it. It's doesn't bug me all that much, really, 'cause he's a nice enough guy, but I wish he'd talk less and work more.

Five or so years ago, I had a co-worker who kept a tally on his whiteboard of the number of fingers he was going to remove from one particular developer. He also had the worst BO in history and put a sign on his office door saying, you enter, you DIE!!!! He was definitely the most annoying co-worker I've experienced.

libcrypt, Sunday, 16 September 2007 17:50 (sixteen years ago) link

What is it with the women in this office, they are constantly eating!

Tom D., Thursday, 20 September 2007 13:55 (sixteen years ago) link

My "boss" slurps his coffee and eats disgustingly smelly fried things for breakfast then belches quietly all morning. ARGH

Ms Misery, Thursday, 20 September 2007 14:04 (sixteen years ago) link

co-worker has a new born child. It's all she fucking talks about. Just before she said "so, we got some family photos done on the weekend" obvs trying to tell me about it. I just kind of grunted and carried on with what i was doing.

W4LTER, Sunday, 23 September 2007 23:59 (sixteen years ago) link

The baby is kind of cute tho. It's a little ranga.

W4LTER, Monday, 24 September 2007 00:00 (sixteen years ago) link

I love that expression, ranga :D

My coworkers all just kind of sniggered at me because I had the gall to say "who is this person" about some guy we were emailed about who has apparently been here for ages, fuck if I care, this'd be the third person thats worked around us that NO ONE has bothered to introduce me to. I sit in the corner and am completely ignored/left out of everything, and I am going to resign, this place is a joke.

Oh and dumbass windows calendar guy is still at it with the dumfuckery and ice crunching and idiocy and making at least 10k a year more than I do :(

Trayce, Monday, 24 September 2007 01:56 (sixteen years ago) link

kill him and absorb his (earning) power.

The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Monday, 24 September 2007 04:19 (sixteen years ago) link

I am interested in your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Trayce, Monday, 24 September 2007 04:43 (sixteen years ago) link

This girl does NOTHING but EAT all day long. ALL DAY LONG. She's driving me crazy. All I can hear is crunching or smacking noises, and I am beginning to hope she chokes on her cheetos.

luna, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 21:51 (sixteen years ago) link

I used to work with a dude that ate all day long too. He was constantly chewing on something, usually chocolate or candy bars. He would then wonder aloud every three weeks how he got so fat.

jon /via/ chi 2.0, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 22:01 (sixteen years ago) link

Oh, god! Cheetos?! I'd love to see how her workstation looks and smells.

Michael White, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 22:15 (sixteen years ago) link

For breakfast this morning, she had some budget gourmet fettuccini alfredo. It smelled like it had been already vomited up.

At 1030, she had another meal of some description - I didn't see it, but it too smelled like it had been already well used.

It's now 1:14, and she's eating ribs, a salad, has a piece of cake bigger than my head, and a soda.

luna, Thursday, 27 September 2007 20:16 (sixteen years ago) link

ALL I WANT IS PIZZA

Maria, Thursday, 27 September 2007 20:19 (sixteen years ago) link

luna, is she in training for something? How does she fit any work in when she has so much feeding to do?

Also, and I'm not sure exactly why, but the juxtaposition of 'budget' and 'gourmet' is making me chortle.

Michael White, Thursday, 27 September 2007 20:22 (sixteen years ago) link

Budget Gourmet is a brand of frozen entres in the US.

nickn, Thursday, 27 September 2007 20:30 (sixteen years ago) link

ha hah
xpost

The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Thursday, 27 September 2007 20:31 (sixteen years ago) link

luna, is she in training for something? How does she fit any work in when she has so much feeding to do?

For a fat ass maybe, but nothing else that I'm aware of.

None of this would bother me as much if she didn't sit in front of me.

luna, Thursday, 27 September 2007 20:41 (sixteen years ago) link

Is she fat now? My boss bothers me because he never picks up his feet, just shuffles them across the floor. ::shudder::

Misery, Thursday, 27 September 2007 20:44 (sixteen years ago) link

Nope, she's not at all. She's not stick thin or anything, but she is in no way fat.

No one here is a foot shuffler, but the manager of my apartment building is - she either shuffles or runs, there is no in between. I hate her.

luna, Thursday, 27 September 2007 20:45 (sixteen years ago) link


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