Ultimate Warrior has an opinion

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Yeah, he seems like he'd be quite a smart guy if he wasn't completely fucking batshit insane. It'd be nice if there was a bizarro non-right wing good wrestler version of him.

― F (Ferg), Thursday, 29 September 2005 23:06 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.wwe-france.com/HTLM/Hall_of_fame/Mick_Foley/Mick_Foley_-_Mick_Foley_06.jpg

― disco violence (disco violence), Friday, 30 September 2005 03:01 (seventeen years ago) link

(hehe, I kind of thought that after I posted it)

They come back and Matt Striker does his Ultimate Warrior impression. It's pretty bad, as he reads the following statement, which is also posted on WWE.com (with a few bits of "poetic license" taken, going as far to pause mid-promo and say "I need more steroids, my arms are getting too small!")...

"Warrior" says he won't give Todd back his DVD unless he gives him $47, no $57. He says he stays in shape through "steroids... lots and lots of steroids." He talks about the One Warrior Nation and cries about flushing his career down the toilet. He admits to being from Queens, NY, NOT "Parts Unknown." "Queens is VERY, VERY KNOWN."

They are in SO MUCH TROUBLE.

― F (Ferg), Friday, 30 September 2005 03:16 (seventeen years ago) link

Hah! Vince McMahon is totally at his best when he's being really petty.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 30 September 2005 09:30 (seventeen years ago) link

Plus: Matt Striker push! Man, the Sandman parody he does is the rofflez.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 30 September 2005 09:34 (seventeen years ago) link

four months pass...

i believe u more than anyone else and i also know that the things shown in this dvd are not true as u cannot do this as u r true warrior , i know that hhh,vince and others r jealous of u and bret heart.

― warrior's fan, Thursday, 16 February 2006 02:17 (sixteen years ago) link

one year passes...

The "Self Destruction" dvd is classic, if not solely for the section about his promo style. Jericho calls his interviews "quizzical" and Christian does a killer Warrior impression.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P39b7v1wzfg

― marmotwolof, Monday, 30 April 2007 06:04 (fifteen years ago) link

Shit, we had a Warrior googler? This could've made "Oink Invites" look like a bag of puke

― Michael Philip Philip Philip philip Annoyman, Monday, 30 April 2007 09:16 (fifteen years ago) link

googling doesn't make the world work

― marmotwolof, Monday, 30 April 2007 11:20 (fifteen years ago) link

I watched that Self-Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior vid a few nights ago. Quite possibly (as someone who hasn't seen anything to do with wrestling for 15 years) the funniest thing I've ever seen.

― Lynskey, Monday, 30 April 2007 14:30 (fifteen years ago) link

I WILL NOW TAKE QUESTIONS REGARDING MY CAREER AND MY VENGEANCE AGAINST WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT

QUESTIONS THAT SHOW INSUFFICIENT UNDERSTANDING OF THE POWER OF DESTRUCITY WILL BE DISREGARDED

GOOD LUCK

― The Ultimate Warrior, Monday, 30 April 2007 14:49 (fifteen years ago) link

this isn't going to work

― The Ultimate Warrior, Monday, 30 April 2007 14:50 (fifteen years ago) link

So Warrior, did you kill Kerry Von Erich for stealing your boot tassles gimmick?

― MacDara, Monday, 30 April 2007 15:32 (fifteen years ago) link

I know it was you. He was so high on coke he couldn't even pick up the gun, let alone shoot himself with it.

― MacDara, Monday, 30 April 2007 16:46 (fifteen years ago) link

And admit it, you killed Dino Bravo too, didn't you?

― MacDara, Monday, 30 April 2007 16:47 (fifteen years ago) link

I HAD NOTHING BUT PITY FOR THAT ONE LEGGED RUNT - THERE WAS A POINT IN APRIL 1997 WHERE I HELD A PILLOW OVER FRITZ VON ERICH?S FACE BUT I DECIDED TO BE THE BETTER MAN

DINO BRAVO DIED BECAUSE THERE WAS INSUFFICIENT DESTRUCITY IN HIS SYSTEM TO RECOVER FROM REPEATED GUNSHOTN WOUNDS

― The Ultimate Warrior, Monday, 30 April 2007 17:26 (fifteen years ago) link

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