Superman is a Dick

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Apparently this started as its own thing on a message board, got its own domain, and then somehow wound up on the National Lampoon site. So I guess it's more representative of message boards.

(We could totally take em.)

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 13:30 (nineteen years ago) link

They're pretty awesome covers though.

Message to DC: Please publish Essential Superman's Girl Friend Lois Lane and Essential Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen kthxbi.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 15:01 (nineteen years ago) link

There are two collections of Jack Kirby's Jimmy Olsen stuff. Which are ludicrous in their own way, but obv. nothing compares to the out-thereitude of the Mort Weisinger era. (if that's even the right era)

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 22 February 2005 15:06 (nineteen years ago) link

For Huck,
http://members.shaw.ca/vcofell1/myweb4/index.htm
Dear God.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 16:40 (nineteen years ago) link

Thanks, Jocelyn. You're the gorilla my dreams!

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 22 February 2005 16:58 (nineteen years ago) link

Thassomefunishit.

― Austin (Austin), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 17:19 (nineteen years ago) link

I now vow to write a monkey comic at some point in my life.

You know, a lot of the Superman Is A Dick comics were the first comics I read -- other than a Marvel Team-Up, most of my comics exposure until around Secret Wars or so was through hand-me-down DC comics of that era, almost all of them imaginary stories, transformations (Jimmy or red K), or Lois and Lana fighting over Superman.

I was thinking this morning that it might be part of why I've never really been into contemporary Superman comics, probably the only major character I've never at least gone through a phase for; my expectations set is too fucked up.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 19:19 (nineteen years ago) link

I NEED TO READ THESE COMICS.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 23 February 2005 14:39 (nineteen years ago) link

Awww.

http://members.shaw.ca/vcofell2/myweb5/flash_313.jpg

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Wednesday, 23 February 2005 21:56 (nineteen years ago) link

haha i still can't get over this!

http://www.comics.org/graphics/covers/1296/400/1296_4_106.jpg

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 25 February 2005 02:38 (nineteen years ago) link

i love that one, tho I had not seen the title before which makes it even more brilliant

― H (Heruy), Friday, 25 February 2005 09:15 (nineteen years ago) link

I would pay good $$$ to read that issue!

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 26 February 2005 01:15 (nineteen years ago) link

I thought for sure it'd be collected somewhere (and will still be surprised if it isn't), but can't find anything -- I did find this review of it, though -- which includes some scanned panels, thankfully.

― Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 26 February 2005 01:56 (nineteen years ago) link

I take it back! Here we go, Superman in the Seventies, $14 at Amazon. It apparently also includes the Superman-eats-Kryptonite issue.

― Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 26 February 2005 01:58 (nineteen years ago) link

With Superman's help Lois is placed inside the Plastimold and the Transformoflux Pack invented by Dahr-Nel, Kryptonian Surgeon. Apparently this machine is meant to change white people to black people. You have to wonder if Superman uses this machine often?

― Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 26 February 2005 02:00 (nineteen years ago) link

thanks tep! that's so fucking cool. this is my fav thing ever now.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 26 February 2005 02:37 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.millionaireplayboy.com/images/blacklois7.gif

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 26 February 2005 02:53 (nineteen years ago) link

Yes, and you are wearing absurdly different clothes too, Lois! I love the old Superman comics - "yes Lois, as it happens I do have a machine for turning white people into black people."

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 26 February 2005 19:35 (nineteen years ago) link

I have to wonder, what does it do to black people? Turn them purple?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Sunday, 27 February 2005 02:27 (nineteen years ago) link

Superman never met any black people back then, so it's never came up. I suspect that the post-Crisis Supes probably doesn't have a Race-Changing Machine, at a guess.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 27 February 2005 11:48 (nineteen years ago) link

oh wow.

― jermaine, Sunday, 27 February 2005 19:52 (nineteen years ago) link

eight months pass...

Has this site been mentioned specifically on ILC yet?

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 23:49 (eighteen years ago) link

I have to wonder, what does it do to black people? Turn them purple?

Hard to explain. All I know is John Malkovich is somehow involved.

― M. V. (M.V.), Thursday, 10 November 2005 05:27 (eighteen years ago) link

Haha, speaking of Superman and dickery (from Ebert's site):

[Nicholas] Cage and his wife, Alice Kim, have a new son, born Oct 3. "His name is Kal-El. Alice and I wanted a name that was exotic and American and stood for something good, because our son is exotic and he's American and we think he's good. And Kal-El was Superman's name when he was born. I just liked the sound of it."

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 10 November 2005 17:29 (eighteen years ago) link

Kal-El Cage (age 5): Where do babies come from, daddy?
Nic Cage (age 8,003): Dickery.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 10 November 2005 17:45 (eighteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Comedian Robin Williams named his daughter Zelda because his son was a devoted fan of the series.

― GET EQUIPPED WITH BUBBLE LEAD (ex machina), Monday, 5 December 2005 18:50 (eighteen years ago) link

Which series?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 5 December 2005 18:53 (eighteen years ago) link

hahah

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 5 December 2005 18:59 (eighteen years ago) link

Legend of Zelda

― GET EQUIPPED WITH BUBBLE LEAD (ex machina), Monday, 5 December 2005 19:03 (eighteen years ago) link

nine years pass...

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CCZzJJTUsAAKa3_.jpg

― like working at a jewelry store and not knowing about bracelets (Dr. Superman), Sunday, 12 April 2015 16:45 (nine years ago) link

six years pass...

Gross

https://i.imgur.com/YW19uLx_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium

― tumblin’ dice outro (morrisp), Sunday, 12 September 2021 04:16 (two years ago) link

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