Need to identify this eighties/early nineties film.

also Dick Van Dyke rapping - is it as good as Debbie Harry rapping?

The Shining DUH!

Paul and Linda McCartney in the Shining?

The Shining DUH!

jack becomes dull?

Still haven't found it, I wish I could remember even pat of the title. If I remember correctly, the movie ended (not surprisingly) with someone writing the story of the movie with the magic typewriter.

(x-post)

Thanks, Leigh!

The first season Twilight Zone came to a delightful conclusion on July 1, 1960, with this episode, written by Richard Matheson. Coming home early one afternoon, Victoria West (Phyllis Kirk) is shocked to find her playwright husband Gregory West (Keenan Wynn) in the arms of another woman named Mary (Mary LaRoche). When Victoria demands an explanation, Gregory is forced to reveal that Mary was purely a figment of his imagination, "invented" on the writer's tape recorder. To prove this point, Gregory not only makes Mary re-appear, but also a "huge, red-eyed element." But this is not the only surprise in store for the nonplussed Victoria West. The hilarious finale finds series creator Rod Serling joining in on the festivities. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

1960 though, maybe it was updated for the later series.

It's The Magic Typewriter by Jerome Bixby.

[i]that guy from that movie who plays a novelist and has a magic typewriter... UM![/i]

infallible comedy stand-bys: obvious non-rapper gets to rap

(i know its because of the wh3rd and p3r difference)

Bump.

oh god no not again

i've been googling it for a decade.

i saw it on the drambuie showcase review or possibly bravo, late at night. i feel like the man learned the sex secrets from a book, possibly some taoist sex manual.

i actually haven't been googling it for a decade. i thought about it for the first time in 17 years while eating crab today.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_and_Zen

This movie has a man learning sex secrets from a manual, and it also has two sequels. Can't remember any crab-eating scene, but I haven't watched it since the 1990s. It has a fairly memorable scene the where the guy has replaced his small penis with a horse's dong (not shown onscreen), and needs to use a ladder to have sex with some woman.

it was arty + modern. the actors may have had british accents.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0145893/

Trivia
Sarah Michelle Gellar has stated that this is one of her least favorite films that she has been in.

probably not it

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114134/

haven't seen this since the late 90s and don't recall a scene like you describe but ticks some of the boxes

it makes finding it more difficult but it was a short film and i believe part of an anthology of erotic shorts.

i am offering a $100 USD prize to whoever can find this.

The Pillow Book is a v. good guess. Other possible contenders:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082422/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101316/?ref_=nv_sr_2

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0459666/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082422/ -- too old, not the right contemporary setting. have you seen this? is it good?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101316/?ref_=nv_sr_2 -- tony leung as "the chinaman." not even close but... looks interesting?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0459666/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 -- i love this movie. the goofiness of the sex, the taoist sex manual and the crab eating makes hou hsiao hsien a good guess but it wasn't hou hsiao hsien.

but none of those.

Five Senses of Eros? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1587422/

too recent. no crab eating or wheelbarrow position.

cpost
Saw Fruits of Passion many years ago, in the memory it's pretty barmy and worth seeking out

Haven't seen The Lover, it had a 'shocking' reputation for a while in Britain because it featured a very young English actress who went on to make a terrible film with Bruce Willis

Lady In Heat? http://www.filmaffinity.com/en/film730748.html

shit, getting CLOSE. but not it.

Erotique http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109742/

Segment 3 is "Wonton Soup." Here an Australian-Chinese man tries to rekindle his affair with a Chinese woman by returning to their roots: both in the kitchen and in the bedroom.

The Pillow Book is a v. good guess

First thing I thought of but I don't remember there being any, errrr, crabs in it.

Ha, just noticed the post above mine, you owe anagram $100!!!!!!

I was just about to post Erotique! I remembered watching some multi-part erotic film that had an Asian segment, and the only other thing I remembered about it was that Priscilla Barnes (A Chrissy replacement on Three's Company) was in it, so I went to her imdb page.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hSnLqancDA

This is all there is on youtube from Destiny to Order.

French, or maybe Spanish or Andorran film, late 90s or 2000s. I saw it in late 2009 but it was not necessarily new. It's set at some kind of orphanage or boarding house (kids are there, in any case) out in the boonies, kind of scrubby countryside, some hills. I can't remember the plot at all except that it is mostly or entirely set out at this orphanage, and there are mobsters or criminals that come out there to ...kill everybody? Or they just want some money or a particular guy? I feel like the climax is the kids kind of surviving against these gangsters. One kid spends a lot of the movie out on his own, maybe trying to run to the next town? Like he's really good at sports? And you think he's dead at one point but actually he survived and made a plan and comes back in the nick of time, I think. I'm making this sound a little like Home Alone but the kids are older than that and the tone is a lot heavier, though I think there are some laughs.

― Doctor Casino, Saturday, April 25, 2015 6:43 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

finally found this - it's Éric Rochant's Total Western. Google Translate of French Wikipedia suggests it was about a criminal thug who lays low by posing as a teacher at a juvenile offenders' center in the boonies. Some other mafioso types show up to take him down and recover some protection money he made off with, but with the help of the kids he takes them all down, brutally.

2) This one was definitely a TV series: it featured a boy who ended up in space in a rather weird way. Someone or something dislodged his room (but nothing else) from his parents' house, and the room was floating in space. So when he opened the door to his room, all he could see was stars! The series also had a cyborg bad guy with a scary, glowing cyborg eye.

― Tuomas, 1. maaliskuuta 2010 19:29 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Someone at tvtropes.com remembered this series too, though they couldn't remember its name either. They did provide this extra info though:

The house floating in space is almost identical to Zathura, However, the residents are not travelling home and there is a bubble shield around the house that protects it from impact. I would lean toward it being British in origin, and it had reruns in the early 2000s. Most likely on the BBC. live action. There is also one scene I remember: Two boys are standing outside the house (on the floating rock) the first boy is worried about something and asks the second boy for advice. Throughout the conversation the second boy is throwing stones at the bubble shield, trying to get them to go through, but they keep bouncing back, at one point one does penetrate the shield, and he shouts "that one went through!". Near the end of the conversation, the first boy says something that makes the second stop and stare at him. at this point his last thrown stone bounces back and hits him on the head, knocking him over.

Does this ring any bells for you Britons?

Oh, and as I mentioned upthread, I saw this series on the telly in the '80s, so it can't be newer than that. "Zathura" is the 2005 film with a similar premise.

Tuomas, is it Crash? Danish series from 1984?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CnERf2d3Yg
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crash_(1984_TV_series)

Wow, I think that's actually it! I googled Crash and turns out it was show on Finnish telly in 1986, which would the right era for me having seen it as a young kid (I turned 7 that year). Thanks a bunch!

No problem! I just googled bedroom spaceship tv. Looks like most of it is on google, enjoy!

I mean, most of it is on youtube...

The end credits of Destiny to Order, featuring clips from the film, a song (sadly, not "Destiny Rap") and gratuitous shots of the late, lamented Sam the Record Man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uhyXrD6M4g

Wow, thanks! So much eighties hair! And I gotta say, Jefferson Mappin and Richardo Keens-Douglas are pretty awesome names.

So wait... if that footage is to be trusted, is it in fact a magic IBM XT and not a typewriter at all!?

Top ten ilx threads right here, imho

This is a movie I saw at a film festival in 2015 or 2016, so it's from the 2010s. A very surreal Japanese movie where a guy falls in the sewers and meets these weird CGI animals. He befriends one of them, who sings a song to him. Guy records the song, it becomes a massive hit and he becomes a big pop star, but he never tells he got it from his animal friend, and his conscience starts to weigh on him. In the end the animal grows into Godzilla size and attacks the guy during a big concert of his. I'm sure some of you must know this one?

?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNfYMUEJkkk

Yes, that's it, thanks!

My gf and her friends have spent years trying to figure out what cartoon (glimpsed in the background of a family photo) is from. Dozens, maybe even hundreds of people have seen this image but nobody knows what it is from. If you recognize this man, please tell me. pic.twitter.com/nZibSf1QQH

— Will Sloan (@WillSloanEsq) September 2, 2022

(reveal on thread if you want to challenge yourself and not look)

The one that'd always bugged me as a kid, I worked out some years ago. A weird Japanese anime version of Jack and the Beanstalk, especially the bits with the witch (hope this link jumps to the right part)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnd3MFBink4

And also the song about 16 minutes in, which was stuck in my head for YEARS pre-internet never being able to work out what the hell I'd seen.

I remember seeing a film on TV about fifteen years ago. I was half-watching it. It was odd. It was essentially a Japanese sci-fi cartoon - an "anime" as young people call them - but interspersed with the animation was live-action footage of a US actor in a spacesuit talking to a little girl. The animated sequences were supposed to represent some kind of fantasy world that the little girl could access. The live-action used cartoonish matte paintings. I remember it still.

A bit of Googling leaves me none the wiser, although I'm disappointed to learn that Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt isn't nearly as rude as I was expecting. Have you ever played Antichamber? It's a puzzle game with mind-bending portals. I like to call it Pantychamber because that thought pleases me.