vadge horror stories

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (564 of them)

If this was a C thread, it would be called something like "When you're walking down the street and Miranda Richards suddenly walks by with an incontinent elephant hanging out off her quim, would you be alarmed would you whip your trouseres off and go at it like you were at a Steve Guttenberg convention?"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:20 (nineteen years ago) link

http://216.127.78.103/~dutch-starwars.com/database/locaties/pics/sarlacc_pit.jpg

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:21 (nineteen years ago) link

I blame Return of The Jedi for all of my sexual hangups. My knob looks like Jabba The Hut too.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:40 (nineteen years ago) link

too much information! (haha sez he, having clicked on a thread entitled "vadge horror stories")

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 10 June 2004 11:41 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.base58.com/ilx/vag.gif

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:00 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.somethingisburning.com/images/vag.jpg

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:03 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.poster.net/lord-of-the-rings-ii/lord-of-the-rings-ii-teaser-two-towers-4900237.jpg

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:04 (nineteen years ago) link

Middle-earth hermaphrodites!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:05 (nineteen years ago) link

I'd just like to point out that Dan's posited C-man version of this thread is the funniest thing ever in the whole history of the world

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:27 (nineteen years ago) link

one of them, sure.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:34 (nineteen years ago) link

it seemed a bit inaccurate in it's eloquence

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:37 (nineteen years ago) link

Someone I know....and I truely mean that, I am not talking about myself, was using a vibrator one time not realising the batteries had leaked inside it and got burning battery acid all over her ahem flaps. Apparently when she flung the vibrator away from herself it hit the wall and took the paint off. One can only imagine what it did to her skin.

Now if that isn't a vag/vadge horror story i don't know what is.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 10 June 2004 12:39 (nineteen years ago) link

"...and when they looked down, all they saw attached to the vagina was A HOOK!"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:09 (nineteen years ago) link

"'Ma'am," said the police operator, "'The calls are coming from INSIDE YOUR VAGINA!'"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:10 (nineteen years ago) link

vag is surely the correct spelling.

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:10 (nineteen years ago) link

"... and written all over the uterine walls in blood were the words, "AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU DIDN'T TURN ON THE LIGHTS?"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:11 (nineteen years ago) link

ew ew ew ew, I know someone who got a vibrator lost inside her, wrong!

― lukey (Lukey G), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:12 (nineteen years ago) link

"She placed the chihuahua in her vagina to dry it out"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:12 (nineteen years ago) link

"the killer was on top of the car, banging her boyfriend's severed vagina on the roof"

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:13 (nineteen years ago) link

"All he could hear was the 'THUMP THUMP THUMP' of the telltale vagina."

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:13 (nineteen years ago) link

....i'm thinking of the joke where the punchline is: "good shot, right in the cunt"

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:14 (nineteen years ago) link

"If you feed pop rocks to a vagina..."

(I realise I've drifted off topic a little)

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:17 (nineteen years ago) link

There are already enough vadge (I LOVE THIS SPELLING btw) urban myths that I don't know that we need to make up anymore. Not that this should stop you, Andrew, because the pop rocks one made me snort coffee.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:21 (nineteen years ago) link

(hee hee THE RED VADGE OF COURAGE)
("We don't need no steenking vadges!")

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 13:21 (nineteen years ago) link

"Get out of the house right now, YOUR VAGINA IS CHOKING ON FINGERS!!!"

― nickn (nickn), Thursday, 10 June 2004 19:04 (nineteen years ago) link

"And then the veterenarian said, "Oh my god lady, that's not a hairless mexican chihuahua, THAT'S A VAGINA WITH RABIES!!!!!!!!!"

― Sengai, Thursday, 10 June 2004 21:34 (nineteen years ago) link

It turns out that the maniac had already killed the dog, and the girl awoke to find "Vagina's can lick too" scrawled on the wall in blood.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 10 June 2004 22:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Never flash your headlights at an approaching vagina.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2004 22:43 (nineteen years ago) link

http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/04/uk_big_brother_housemates/img/9.jpg

i'm really, really sorry

― don (don), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:00 (nineteen years ago) link

(not *that* sorry though)

― don (don), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:00 (nineteen years ago) link

"... and when I woke up I was in a bathtub full of ice and MY VADGE WAS MISSING"

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:04 (nineteen years ago) link

oh no can't breathe laughing too hard

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:06 (nineteen years ago) link

Q: What do you eat in Australia if you're some sort of pussy?

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:06 (nineteen years ago) link

Um, vadgemite?

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:07 (nineteen years ago) link

quiche

― the surface noise is so overwhelming that it renders the contents of the re (ele, Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:08 (nineteen years ago) link

thank you, martin.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:10 (nineteen years ago) link

The Pit And The Pudendum

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:11 (nineteen years ago) link

STOP IT I'M TRYING TO WORK

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:14 (nineteen years ago) link

Dan on top form :)

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:17 (nineteen years ago) link

I believe it is more commonly known as vaginamite, often referred to at the same time as penis paste (Peanut paste) by primary school age children....and the man I live with.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:17 (nineteen years ago) link

penis butter and vaginamite

― the surface noise is another unwelcome bonus resulting from a preamp's inab (ele, Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:18 (nineteen years ago) link

...and him ^

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:19 (nineteen years ago) link

uhuh.

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:33 (nineteen years ago) link

"I soaked my hands in it, Vadge!"

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:42 (nineteen years ago) link

"Vadge! Vadge! The rains are 'ere!"

― New No New Age Advanced Ambient Motor Music Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:56 (nineteen years ago) link

all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy

― don (don), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:59 (nineteen years ago) link

"Wash your vadge, Geoffrey!"

― New No New Age Advanced Ambient Motor Music Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:01 (nineteen years ago) link

hey don, does my presence here make it easy 4 U 2 guess whom UR sending your physical s******o CD 2?

crosspost

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:02 (nineteen years ago) link

i just used the Force mate

― don (don), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:03 (nineteen years ago) link

aye, that's probably a simpler way...

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:04 (nineteen years ago) link

Skipping 464 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

yes

― "Bellini." (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 21:40 (eleven years ago) link

genius

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 8 March 2013 21:42 (eleven years ago) link

Just remembered it's International Women's Day :-/

― Madchen, Friday, 8 March 2013 21:44 (eleven years ago) link

haha I thought that's why you revived this!

― "Bellini." (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 21:50 (eleven years ago) link

it's like the vagina monologues, in a way

― 凸凹凸凹凸凹凸 (c sharp major), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:07 (eleven years ago) link

I was worried about vaginas.
I was worried about what we think about vaginas
And I was even more worried
that we don't think about them.
I was worried about my own vagina.
LYSOL DOUCHE

― 凸凹凸凹凸凹凸 (c sharp major), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:24 (eleven years ago) link

― Darth Icky (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:25 (eleven years ago) link

uh oh

― ≪江南Style≫ (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:26 (eleven years ago) link

never forget

― mookieproof, Friday, 8 March 2013 22:32 (eleven years ago) link

wow

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:34 (eleven years ago) link

: O

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:38 (eleven years ago) link

some things are best forgotten, forever

― ≪江南Style≫ (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:40 (eleven years ago) link

and then there is the Dreadful Cunnilingus Incident

― Darth Icky (DJP), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:41 (eleven years ago) link

no way ilx should have a town square with a statue of DJP in honor of such stories

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 8 March 2013 22:41 (eleven years ago) link

that should absolutely happen

― ≪江南Style≫ (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 9 March 2013 00:17 (eleven years ago) link

with a rim that can be rolled up to win

― ≪江南Style≫ (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 9 March 2013 00:17 (eleven years ago) link

Buyer Beware: The case of Lysol disinfectant

― Let's talk more my bunny! (doo dah), Tuesday, 19 March 2013 01:26 (eleven years ago) link

two months pass...

a friend of a friend of mine has three lips, ew. any advances?
― lukey (Lukey G), Thursday, June 10, 2004 6:52 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― they are either militarists (ugh) or kangaroos (?) (DJP), Tuesday, 4 June 2013 20:31 (ten years ago) link

This, the BNL album cover thread, AND thread for pictures of Drake looking ridiculous all revived today!

― emilys., Tuesday, 4 June 2013 23:05 (ten years ago) link

http://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_m83spjEDsk1rpbpum.jpg

― mookieproof, Wednesday, 5 June 2013 00:58 (ten years ago) link

what the

― johnny crunch, Wednesday, 5 June 2013 00:59 (ten years ago) link

loool i would kinda maybe buy those if they were real

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 00:59 (ten years ago) link

http://weknowmemes.com/2012/05/spongebob-is-a-tampon/

― Sir Lord Baltimora (Myonga Vön Bontee), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 01:51 (ten years ago) link

Most unfortunate author name?

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/P/B0051HEJ86.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 02:14 (ten years ago) link

no relation

― the Quim of Bendigo (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 02:14 (ten years ago) link

lol adam

― ¬╡▫ ▫╞⌠ (sic), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 03:44 (ten years ago) link

six years pass...

Actually Lysol was advertised as a contraceptive. Let's dig in. https://t.co/I0gx92kCUA
— Gillian Frank (@1gillianfrank1) June 10, 2019

― Arugula Raccoon (DJP), Monday, 10 June 2019 21:45 (four years ago) link

ten months pass...

“We must be clear that under no circumstance should our disinfectant products be administered into the human body (through injection, ingestion or any other route),”

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/24/trump-lysol-injection-claim-maker-hits-back

― Madchen, Friday, 24 April 2020 15:25 (three years ago) link

loooool I was hoping this is why this thread was revived

― DJP, Friday, 24 April 2020 16:00 (three years ago) link

The Pit And The Pudendum

I peaked early on this site

― DJP, Friday, 24 April 2020 18:52 (three years ago) link

Alice in her party dress
would-be suitors skulk away
needs to freshen up a bit
before she starts attracting strays
Lysol douche will do the trick
brisk as cool spring rains that fall she'll
spray it where the sun don't shine per-
-haps she ought to use it all to-dayayayayayay
― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, January 24, 2005 4:44 PM (fifteen years ago)

is this on the Goths album?

― sarahell, Friday, 24 April 2020 19:02 (three years ago) link

Love this thread so much.

― Madchen, Friday, 24 April 2020 19:42 (three years ago) link

oh no the dreadful incident link is broken

― mookieproof, Friday, 24 April 2020 20:05 (three years ago) link

little did we know then that one day the lysol douche would be president

― He is married to Brogmus, Linda. (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 24 April 2020 20:10 (three years ago) link

did you leave town? or did you stay?

― "...And the Gods Socially Distanced" (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 24 April 2020 20:33 (three years ago) link

tyvm

― mookieproof, Friday, 24 April 2020 20:54 (three years ago) link

two years pass...

https://i.imgur.com/PEM9wq6.jpg

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 19 June 2022 00:19 (one year ago) link

look this is the relevant thread okay just roll with it

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 19 June 2022 00:19 (one year ago) link

Bravo!

― Madchen, Sunday, 19 June 2022 08:07 (one year ago) link

I like to think the advert has a subtly codified subtext:
https://i.imgur.com/Advf1wJ.jpg

― Ashley Pomeroy, Sunday, 19 June 2022 16:36 (one year ago) link

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.