ILX, SHOULD SARA MAIL DAN POOP?

t(^_^t)

ILX 2
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dont let the intimidation tactics of "HI DERE" keep you away from the polls ILX. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE if sara ships dan poo.

Everyone is aware that any poop I get is going to be forwarded to John unopened, right? This is basically a win-win for me (either I get no poop or John gets poop).

dan. it's the thought that counts, and right now we're all thinking about you receiving a box of poop, which makes us all winners!

What if Sara sends multiple boxes, some of which have gifts or cash or nothing in them, but one of which has poop in it? will you pass up a nice shiny 5 dollar bill out of poopfear?

WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU?

anyone who doesnt vote yes is a fucking asshole goth

I'm so tempted to vote yes, and yet the post office is such trouble at this time of year.

Maybe I should abstain and let uninvolved parties decide.

What if Sara sends multiple boxes, some of which have gifts or cash or nothing in them, but one of which has poop in it? will you pass up a nice shiny 5 dollar bill out of poopfear?

How about this:

I will swallow $500 and mail you the resultant poop. It's guaranteed money; all you have to do is dig through my poop to get it. Does that work for you? (As a bonus, you can lick your fingers afterwards.)

dan is afraid of this poop mailing

Would ILX be disappointed that I would not mail actual poop, but rather delicious handmade pan forte (that Dan would apparently hate)? Or is that, somehow, just as good?

DON'T LIE SARA, YOU ARE PLANNING TO MAIL A KING-KONG-SIZED POOP

Remember, I could also easily deliver pan forte to John's doorstep. I fear it would go uneaten, though, as the citrus peels in it have some vitamin C. Also, I'd hate to pull out John's scurvy-loosened teeth.

i believe this poll is binding so...

xpost to Dan: you should lower your expectations

uh, how much lower than "poop" can they be

"I was expecting poop but I got a partially-digested kitten instead!"

what kind of poop

everybody love raymond season 6 dvd box set?

See? It can always be worse.

xl robin thicke poster

2 girls 1 cup link

jw brings up a good point.

i was voting based on the principle that it would be human poop, but sara has access to child poop, and maybe some pets, so i don't know.

perhaps we should leave the poopchoice to sara's discretion.

xpost ohno

crap katamari

YES

Maybe John has solved all of my Xmas shopping problems for this year - and forever.

Someone already sent me 2girls1cup but I was savvy enough NOT to watch it. Much like I am savvy enough NOT to open a poopgift (or an "Everybody Loves Raymond"gift, ugh).

WOW

poopfear

^^^^

Much like I am savvy enough NOT to open a poopgift (or an "Everybody Loves Raymond"gift, ugh).

DAN WENT TO HARVARD, GUYS

He should get a package of a wide variety of poops from nature placed in the chocolate-holders of a Whitman's sampler box.

Dan please you tube it when you open the box of poopies

You guys, I ain't opening shit.

(see what I did there?)

why is dan so sure he'll know it's the shit?

2 packages 1 Dan

^^^^^^^ Okay lol

I'm pretty sure this is a winning reality show concept.

Would John be too ethical to cross the writer's picket lines to pitch it? Only his philosophy degree knows for sure.

Like deal or no deal, but no one wants to win.

But Howie Mandell will be blessedly absent.

I thought that was a Zappa kid!

Nope. That was a box of poop.

FINALLY SOMETHING WE CAN ALL AGREE ON

hey dan what is yr address? why because i found an iphone on the sidewalk and i want to send it to you

I already have an iPhone, thanks!

this is one of those NEW iphones that comes with a free, um, coupon for, uh. . .stuff.

I don't want to be greedy. Maybe you should send it to John?

no no no i don't think you get it, this iphone has a giant hard drive, too so you can hold all of your pictures, mp3's, etc. all we need is your address (you can post it here on the interweb) to send you yr free gift

Send it to:

John Justen
XXX CrXtin Ave. S. #X
Saint Paul, MN 55XXX

wait i don't under stand, your name is not John Justen and you don't live in St. Paul. Please try again, thx

i just really want you to have this phone

aw <3

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKE

Sara fails to mention that poop gets sent to both the naughty and nice lists, it's just that the naughty list also gets Larry the Cable guy DVDs.

Dan, is it easier for you to receive packages at home or at work?

Apparently John is acting as my Christmas secretary this year.

I appreciate his help, but I think we need to focus on Christmas cards here.

http://fedex.kinkos.com/locations/

http://www.ziploc.com/

http://www.poopdoc.com/

THANKS IRISH, BUT I THINK WE NEED TO WORK ON CHRISTMAS COOKIES NOW

http://www.peanutsandcorn.com/

That is not a recipe for cookies. ;_;

PRIORITIES SARA. THEY ARE WHAT MADE THIS COUNTRY STRONG.

John is magic in that he is even less helpful than I imagine him to be.

WELL?

I can't believe you're trying to make me feel guilty for NOT sending Dan poop in the mail!

Wait, no, what am I talking about, I can totally believe that.

HEY LOOK AT ME IM SARA RC IM A SLACKER I DONT EVEN BUMP THAT OTHER THREAD CONSISTENTLY ENOUGH TO KEEP THE THREAD TITLE BOOOOOOOOO. ALSO I AM A POOPHOARDER AND RUINED DANS CHRISTMAS.

John, it's so good to see that you're still the charming guy I met in high school. I feel sure that I can find a special, if late, Christmas gift, just for you.

I wonder if I can get Dan to help me plan something...

hahahaha this plan was doomed to, ahem, "backfire"

Dan, meet me later for brainstorming session.

I MOVE TO IMPEACH SARA R-C

ITR CONSTITUENTS DEMAND ACTION, RESULTS

John is just worried about what I might send him in the mail.

And deservedly so.

I'm sure it will be something poopy nice!

Assuredly so.

BUMP AS BIRTHDAY SUGGESTION

Get to work yourself on this yourself if you want to, Scurvy. Just don't blame me when you and Dan have a Big Fight.

(Yes, I know that is you, John; you can't hide behind exclamation points and not expect me to recognize you. I think I know you better than THAT.)

might be Dan, you ever think of that, LADY KNOW-IT-ALL?

Yeah, first of all, you really don't look THAT much alike, second of all, I hardly think Dan is going to try to persuade me to send him poop in the mail.

Now get your ass to bed; you're sick and you need to get better. (Clearly you must have a high fever if you think I was going to believe you were Dan for ONE SECOND.)

Sara, I think you should consider mailing Dan poop.

i like the way this jergiins fellow thinks.

Well, you both obviously know what I'll be giving you for YOUR birthdays.

A VERY SPECIAL HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HI DERE POLL

Dan is thity-five in
half an hour, so
this is for him.

Those down days
When you felt so young
And everything seemed

You saw the people
Around You
Getting old

You wake up
The teenage yearn is
Gone for you

It happens to others
It happens all the time
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you

The candles on the cake
Waiting to be blown
Wish I was
An other

Tis the season, just saying

i hear that dan is remodeling his bathroom so this would really be a perfect time tbh

Tia the season

Still not doing it!

Well that's not what you said in the other thread.

Time for John to take a literacy test.

Merry Christmas!

You say it's your birthday
Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo

Here Sara, feel free to use this if you dropped the ball on getting the shipment out on time

http://i.myniceprofile.com/73/7310.gif

thats hot

just makes me glad I work on a pulmonary unit rather than one that focuses on GI

HAP{PY BIRTHDYat

fitting

its not too late, amazon now can still send a drone payload out to his house