Heave Ho, Let us know

To drunks it may concern,

Our much esteemed colleague, Heave Ho, launches his AAD love letters from an address in Karachi, a place generally known for being Karachi. As it happens, Karachi is also known in recent news reports for the quality of its explosions, an item which, while certainly pictureque when done by Hollywood experts for the entertainment of film audiences worldwide, can be extremely dangerous when done by amateurs. Mr. White is haling our hero, in anxiety for Mr. Ho's safety.

I join him in wishing that Mr. Ho soon arises from his momentary silence, as safe, sound, and still in possession of his cellar with all its contents undamaged. (I hear he has a case of 1974 Boone's Farm Apple Wine with their screw tops all untouched.)

Mr Ho has checked in and is hale, hearty and heaving, as to whether or not he is a ho I cannot possibly comment.

Thank you, Mr. Urquhart.

Seeing how lifeless and inert AAD has been since this thread was initiated, I would have to say that the terrorists have won. Again.

I therefore make this solemn pledge. From now on, whenever I see a terrorist with time on his hands, I will challenge him to a match of cribbage, or failing that, checkers. Having polished my cribbage and checkers skills to a high gloss during many stays in the drunk tank, I confidently expect to see these terrorists suffer numerous and ever-mounting losses. Furthermore, I will not accept IOUs. We'll see how they like them apples!

Yumm, apple brandy.....

I see Dude is doing his Gabby Hayes imitation again. This is only tolerable if I can have a snort of what he's got in that flask.

http://www.cowboypal.com/gabbyhys.jpg

The spitting image of Dude Steel.

Oh sorry! missed this one. Will give you the lowdown on the explosion. When back from uni - God willing

upon reconsideration i won't (was going to post a rather tasteless joke)

Hmmm. There is too-tasteless-for-polite-society and then there is tasteless-to-the-hilt. If the first, you are safe enough to brandish it here. If the second, then I am glad you returned it to its sheath. We already generate enough visual and olfactory offense here that we do not need to offend all other senses into the bargain.

NO! confarndidt damblam murflaggers!!!!

I said the new Sheriff is a N(((((CLANGGGggggg))))r

Is there really such a thing as insipid humor? If it really has no taste, is it even funny anymore?

New ask a drunk lite, not funny, but better for you.

OK

Everyone get on opposite sides of the room..... come on now.... equal teams means more fun for everyone!

OK then, now everyone on that side shout "Less Funny"

OK and then everyone on this side shouts "More Better"

We can keep doing the back and forth thing for as long as it is cool!

OK ok ok now you guys go first..............

Guys?...........

Hello?!............

Where'd everyone go?

It appears Ask A Drunk is slowly but surely being consumed by the void.

Not at all, being the Ask a Drunk forum the contributors are prone from time time to eight or nine day hangovers, during which hot knives are eased through our temples and all the sustenance we can manage is a cool flannel and possibly a little medicinal brandy. Clearly posting to the internet is of less import to us during these longeurs than gentle massages from buxom women. It is merely that we have, in the manner of nuns, synchronised. I am slowly awaking from my own personal stupor, and feel up to a cheeky riesling, do it's safe to assume that the others will be doing likewise soon, also.

Eight or nine day hangovers? Pish posh! Maybe eight or nine hangovers a day, though the assiduous application of more liquor allays them nicely, I find.

Perhaps we need a thread in AAD similar to Flush this question out. Only, in our case, it would take an excruciatingly long time, like Dude Steel when he's drunk as a boiled owl, trying to discover the exit in a room with two closets.

As a boiled owl?!

I contend this phrase is both usual and customary, especially when referencing Dude Steel. Hence:

Results 1 - 10 of about 410 for "drunk as a boiled owl". (0.47 seconds)

If I recall correctly, the phrase originated in Samothrace, where it was first used to describe 18th century English tourists who had just been introduced to the cocktail known in the local vernacular as the Breath of Death, which consisted of five jiggers of ouzo with a dash of bitters. Those who survived their initiation to this cocktail would become as drunk as lords. Changing the locution from lords to boiled owls was but a short logical step.

Sounds eminently plausible.

Sounds eminently plausible.

-- Michael White.......

Yet Eminem sounds like he came from Plaus.

Plausibility is my maiden aunt's middle name on alternate Thursdays.