Has Aimless gone too far?

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed
We will figure out how far he must go based on your responses, an algorithm designed by the DOD to calibrate the impact of 16" shells on modern urban housing, and some random throws of the dice.

M. White (Miguelito), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 21:31 (eighteen years ago) link

I await the verdict with trembling lip.

Aimless (Aimless), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 23:54 (eighteen years ago) link

Bate your breath too, Aimless. The werevoles are famished.

M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 23 June 2005 02:11 (eighteen years ago) link

That's pretty far-out Heave.

M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 23 June 2005 16:03 (eighteen years ago) link

three years pass...

I'm bloody well tired of this trembling lip business. Get on with it!

Aimless, Tuesday, 8 July 2008 23:50 (fifteen years ago) link

Did you not read the part about the algorithm being designed by the DOD?

These things take time.

There are several layers of bureaucratic red tape to chew through before we can even begin to accept bids from our brothers in law as the lowest bidder.

Plus there is the whole "random throws of the dice" thing to consider. Who determines the randomness? The government? The public? The pope? The "will work for food" guy at exit 19? Me?

Do we select people at random out of the phone book to select the random dice throws? Which phone book do we use and is it selected purposefully or is it also to be a random selection? Who determines the randomness? The government? The public? The pope? The "will work for food" guy at exit 19? Me?

Then there are the responses here to be tallied into the whole randomness... randomnicity.... randomosity..... randomitude..... Whatever a random cubed series of event boils down to.

I say we simplify the process by having CJ pick a number between 1 and 3 then add the total number of grebes and pants droppings that have occurred in the last ten years.

That would be a finite number and easily determined but the true quantity couldn't be predetermined by anyone here. There is the randomness factor of CJ's choice that set everything straight.

What say ye?

еdë §téè£, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 01:46 (fifteen years ago) link

I say you'll have to try harder than that to drag the CJ out of palatial hiding.

The correct answer is of course no. 7. Left at the shops by an inconsiderate monk. Careful with the next move chaps.

Matt, Wednesday, 9 July 2008 20:50 (fifteen years ago) link

The pope? The "will work for food" guy at exit 19?

One and the same person?

Michael White, Thursday, 10 July 2008 20:31 (fifteen years ago) link

sure, you've never seen a willworkforfoodmobile?

insert mass transit joke here

Matt, Friday, 11 July 2008 22:08 (fifteen years ago) link

Is it big enough for a whole mass transit joke?

Michael White, Friday, 11 July 2008 22:32 (fifteen years ago) link

big enough for a jesu pie

Matt, Saturday, 12 July 2008 21:30 (fifteen years ago) link

I have only eaten jesuit pie. It was subtlely flavored, but I didn't enjoy the aftertaste.

Aimless, Sunday, 13 July 2008 18:23 (fifteen years ago) link

is Aimless still going too far?

Matt, Monday, 14 July 2008 20:55 (fifteen years ago) link

is Aimless still going?

Matt, Monday, 14 July 2008 20:56 (fifteen years ago) link

Has Aimless gone yet further?

Matt, Monday, 14 July 2008 20:56 (fifteen years ago) link

What's that coming over the hill, is it Aimless?

Matt, Monday, 14 July 2008 20:56 (fifteen years ago) link

(pulls pants up, gives Matt an annoyed look)

Aimless, Monday, 14 July 2008 22:13 (fifteen years ago) link

has Aimless gone far too far?

Matt, Monday, 14 July 2008 22:20 (fifteen years ago) link

Has Aimless gurned too far? It feels like I broke my face with that last one.

Aimless, Tuesday, 15 July 2008 02:00 (fifteen years ago) link

I should have removed my teeth first. I think It deviated my septum.

Aimless, Tuesday, 15 July 2008 02:17 (fifteen years ago) link

I readjusted it with an empty rum bottle. My attitude is improving, but my sense of balance seems a bit off.

Aimless, Tuesday, 15 July 2008 23:07 (fifteen years ago) link

Hey, here's another rum bottle for your other hand..... balance should be better now!

еdë §téè£, Thursday, 17 July 2008 01:58 (fifteen years ago) link

c xv

The Boxing Kangaroo, Sunday, 20 July 2008 18:43 (fifteen years ago) link

You are the winner!!!!

One hundred and fifteen is the correct answer to the secret question.....

"What proof is Aimless breakfast drink of choice?"

He has been overheard saying "If it is under 100 proof, it's like putting water over Cheerio's"

Congratulations 'Roo.

See the man in the back room for your prize..... ignore that light switch the bulb is burnt anyway.

((((((((get ready mr. white, we got a live one!)))))))))

Now hurry on your way.... we have other victims contestants to get to.

еdë §téè£, Monday, 21 July 2008 01:17 (fifteen years ago) link

the space presupposes two seperate figures though, as to what they signify I am unsure, possibly x is an algebraic signifier, maybe c refers to 83% of the population's favourite vitamin, perhaps it's a phonic abjuration to ogle the buttocks of the Launceston rugby team

wait a moment, I don't care

as you were

Matt, Monday, 21 July 2008 22:22 (fifteen years ago) link

of course, one is forced to ask, has Aimless gone too far?

Matt, Monday, 21 July 2008 22:23 (fifteen years ago) link

The incessant question, indeed.

Aimless, Wednesday, 23 July 2008 17:00 (fifteen years ago) link

Although I cannot recall with any precision whatsoever, I assume I meant by 'too far', so far that he cannot return and yet Aimless keeps coming back...

Michael White, Wednesday, 23 July 2008 17:28 (fifteen years ago) link

So you are saying he is like a hamster on a mobius strip exercise wheel?

еdë §téè£, Thursday, 24 July 2008 10:35 (fifteen years ago) link

I was thinking more along the lines of a capybara

Michael White, Friday, 25 July 2008 14:41 (fifteen years ago) link

At first glance I thought you said chupacabra.

Upon realizing my mistake I got to thinking about capybara and how they used to be skinned and the tanned hides made into a head covering

Eventually people tired of saying "I'm wearing my Capybara on my head" and shortened it to just "Cap".

American frontiersmen found the raccoon hides to be of a similar quality to the capybara and followed suit by making the now famous "coonskin cap".

This brought another thought to my mind.....

How dangerous was it for them to be wandering around the wilderness with what appaers to be a raccoon on their head? Nowadays you would be begging to be shot if you did likewise, so why wasn't it a problem way back then? Are we all so trigger happy today or were they just extraordinarily poor marksmen back then?

Which got me to thinking about the opening sequence to The Beverly Hillbillies where uncle Jed is hunting fer some food, misses the shot, and up through the ground comes a bubblin crude, oil that is.....

But he wore a tattered old stetson NOT some fancy dead animal hat.

Which leads me to believe that he barely kept his family fed due to his complete lack of outdoorsman skills therefore he never shot a raccoon which is an integral part to the production of a coonskin hat.

To further prove the point he went as far as to move clear across the country to a place where his lack of hunting skills would go unnoticed.

еdë §téè£, Saturday, 26 July 2008 03:58 (fifteen years ago) link

fourteen years pass...

For the sake our dear posterity, who can never be told often enough how much they missed by coming late to the dance, I repost this. It was originally posted on Mindless Prattle, but it went down with the ship when Greenspun folded his tent an the carnival moved on:

Marx and Hegel Go Shopping for Clothes:

Hegel: These lederhosen make me look like an overstuffed weisswurst.

Marx: On the contrary, I think they look very good on you -- like the conductor on a funicular railroad.

Salesman: Funiculars are tres chic this year!

Hegel: I don't care. And watch where you put your fingers, you carp in a cravat.

Salesman: A thousand pardons. Foolish me.

Marx: Can we get back to the lederhosen?

Hegel: By all means. They make me look fat.

Marx: Funicular railroad conductors are meant to be fat. Fat is of their essence. It is the fashion among them as with Burgermeisters. I won't hear any more objections on that head.

Hegel: I am not convinced, but I allow that I am swayed. However, can we both agree that this bilious green Tyrolean hat with the pheasant's feather is frightfully ridiculous?

Marx: Sehr richtig! One must draw the line at such bourgeois abominations.

Hegel: That is why I bring you along on these shopping trips, Karl. Our tastes synthesize so perfectly.

Salesman: Shall I have one of the lederhosen wrapped for you, sir?

Hegel: (sighs) I suppose. [exuent Salesman]

Marx: Toe-sucking leech.

Hegel: My thought exactly.

-- Aimless (aimless@national_raffle_association.org), October 20, 2003

more difficult than I look (Aimless), Sunday, 9 April 2023 20:31 (one year ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.