Boobs, I mean, Bras, and the eternal frustration

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yeah wtf i need to go bra shopping but i have in fact tried to do this several times in the past couple of months and every time i do, all i find is stupid ugly padded bras and nothing that i would wear as a person who is medium endowed and does not want stupid padding and the weird fake-boob look.

at the same time, it wld appear that the other option is v minor support, which can work if you are an a-cup, obv, and look pretty and everything, but on me, these bras look kind of hilarious.

i am sad b/c the two bras i like the most right now are dying and even worse their underwire tends to squeak, which is both lol and laaame and not-hot. i don't want to buy bras online, i just want to go somewhere and buy a non-stupid bra i mean geez.

rrrobyn, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:42 (fifteen years ago) link

friends and i were talking abt this on sunday at the lake and how we all preferred the look of the "70s boob" but how very few bras these days shared our aesthetic interest

rrrobyn, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:43 (fifteen years ago) link

70s boob?

horseshoe, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:43 (fifteen years ago) link

pre-wonderbra, with a tiniest bit of droop?

Jaq, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:45 (fifteen years ago) link

yknow not pointing straight out but curving naturally, sometimes up, but obv that has to do maybe more with one's anatomy than with bras. but it's possible for certain bras to help facilitate this
xpost
yeah i think sorta like that

rrrobyn, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:45 (fifteen years ago) link

i need to go bra shopping too. i am all paranoid that i'm wearing the wrong size and want to get measured by a professional!

bell_labs, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:45 (fifteen years ago) link

Sad state of bra merchandisers aside, I have to say that as a Canadian, I loved my one single visit to Victoria's Secret and my uber-padded water bra!

Finefinemusic, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:46 (fifteen years ago) link

I would like 50s' cone bras to kick back into style and give us girly torpedo boobs!

Finefinemusic, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:46 (fifteen years ago) link

i totally know what rrrobyn is talking about; think 1970s playboy and oui magazine

elmo argonaut, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:48 (fifteen years ago) link

Wacoal is my favorite bra brand...they definitely make unpadded bras--in every size, i think.

horseshoe, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:48 (fifteen years ago) link

my favorite bras are from bhs in the uk. they're pretty basic-looking, but they wear like iron and give a modified (ie, not ridiculous and pointy) torpedo silhouette with a ton of support.

lauren, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:48 (fifteen years ago) link

my friend catherine has those 70s breasts, colloquially referred to as "swoop titties" because of the upward-turned nipple. maybe "pouting" is a good descriptor?

elmo argonaut, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:50 (fifteen years ago) link

wasn't the 70's look totally braless?

bell_labs, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:51 (fifteen years ago) link

my favorite bras are from bhs in the uk. they're pretty basic-looking, but they wear like iron and give a modified (ie, not ridiculous and pointy) torpedo silhouette with a ton of support.

Really? Hmmmm. What's the name of the bra? Might have to check it out next time am in Engerland.

ENBB, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:52 (fifteen years ago) link

q.v. shadow weaver, from she-ra:

http://www.premiereprops.com/images/images_big/product_cel5004.jpg

elmo argonaut, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:52 (fifteen years ago) link

lol

rrrobyn, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:53 (fifteen years ago) link

oooh yes i need like 10 new bras right now. one i am currently wearing is not *quite* supportive enough and i am afraid it lets the girls hang a bit too much (thinking of the future here).

hmm how do i justfiy a trip to england for bra shopping?

tehresa, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:54 (fifteen years ago) link

i'm not sure, e. i got them so long ago that i can't remember what the box said. m&s bras are really good, too. one of the only things i miss about the uk.

lauren, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:54 (fifteen years ago) link

i can't even imagine wearing a water bra

rrrobyn, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:55 (fifteen years ago) link

this is the basic Wacoal bra:

http://www.wacoal-america.com/catalogimages/85121.jpg

not the prettiest bra, but not ugly. it definitely doesn't create an unnatural shape. and it's supportive.

horseshoe, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:56 (fifteen years ago) link

10 bras!
i only own like 3 bras. i think the last one i bought over was over 2 years ago. i am a dirtbag heeh

bell_labs, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:56 (fifteen years ago) link

"water" "bra"? huh?

elmo argonaut, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:57 (fifteen years ago) link

I have some m&s underwear but no bras. I need new bras too but don't even know where to start looking. I hate victoria's secret bras. They've never fit me right.

Tza don't worry - I have 4 bras and they're all the same make in either black or nude and def at least two years old. I have a couple lace ones that I haven't worn in years so they don't count.

ENBB, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 20:57 (fifteen years ago) link

10 may have been an exaggeration, bell. actually i have very, very few right now... i feel like i need to make up for a deficit.

tehresa, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:01 (fifteen years ago) link

Also can I just say how much I hate bras? The first thing I do when I get home is take mine off. If it weren't for erm possible nipple prominence and shape enhancement I'd never wear them. OK, I'm gonna go home now and take off my bra.

ENBB, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:02 (fifteen years ago) link

yeah i've heard good things about walcoal but yknow fuckit i'm just gonna have to come down to the states and do some shopping re: bras & shoes b/c canada is just not cutting it right now it wld seem. then again, i haven't been trying too hard. but like, why should bra shopping be some elite shopping activity where you have to know the secret spots to shop or soemthing? but i guess also that going to a specialty bra boutique run by an older french lady might be teh way to go (tho the $$ way...)

rrrobyn, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:02 (fifteen years ago) link

oops - I guess my other post was to Bell not Tza. That's what I get for speed reading.

ENBB, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:03 (fifteen years ago) link

I. Hate. Padding.

Hate it. Will not buy it. AND DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND UNPADDED BRAS RIGHT NOW??? DO YOU?? Bras I don't hate start around $80 and go up.

All the companies that serve the department store market (in the $25-40 range) have to minimize their production expenses by following whatever is most popular, so right now they're all making padded and/or push-up bras. (Calvin Klein, DKNY, and others used to be great for basic underwire w/o padding but now they're harder to find and less likely to survive to get to the sale rack, which is where I look).

I'm sort of at a standstill -- I check to see what's on sale at figleaves.com very couple of months. Difficult, though.

Laurel, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:03 (fifteen years ago) link

that is exactly why i'm so frustrated!

rrrobyn, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:07 (fifteen years ago) link

it is so hard to find non padded bras for my size (little). everyone thinks i want to be bigger.

bell_labs, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:07 (fifteen years ago) link

and often ones without padding look good on the rack (lol) but not on the/my body

i am kind of partial to those tank tops/undershirts with the built in the shelf support but srsly now they don't offer a lot of support even tho they are fairly comfortable

rrrobyn, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:08 (fifteen years ago) link

I like Chantelle, I like the Elle McPherson line (the unpadded ones, anyway). I just looked up Calvin Klein on figleaves and out of 25 results only one had no padding. Fuckers.

Laurel, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:10 (fifteen years ago) link

Chantelle makes beautiful stuff.

horseshoe, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:11 (fifteen years ago) link

There is this Eberjey "bralet" I guess but I don't know how much support it has, and it's $50 which is affordable, I guess, but kind of steep for one item of underwear.

Laurel, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:13 (fifteen years ago) link

I REALLY like Chantelle but no way can I afford it. Well I mean I could stop drinking or smoking and save money that way, but it's a sad world in which I have to choose between bras and beer.

Laurel, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:15 (fifteen years ago) link

yeah, no, Chantelle is the aspirational bra brand i look at but don't buy.

horseshoe, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:17 (fifteen years ago) link

Elmo, I think a water bra is a bra with little pouches of water inside to make the breasts appear larger w/o a stiff padded look. Correct me if I'm wrong, ladies.

libcrypt, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:18 (fifteen years ago) link

oh i like that bralet, but yeah, $50.

bell_labs, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:18 (fifteen years ago) link

at this point i will pay $50

rrrobyn, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:19 (fifteen years ago) link

i love this thread title, btw, it sounds like part of a mystery series.

horseshoe, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:21 (fifteen years ago) link

I am all about the online shopping and found these excellent underwires at Title Nine when I was looking for a workout bra that had a back closure. They fit great, lots of stretchy, firm support, comfiest underwire I've worn in awhile, no padding, and the straps are inset at the back so they don't slip down. Not too dear either. Much more serviceable than cute though.

Jaq, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:22 (fifteen years ago) link

The only unpadded CK bra on figleaves.

Laurel, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:23 (fifteen years ago) link

I support Title 9 but I don't need anywhere near that level of support, is the thing. I could wear a scrap of lace as long as it had an underwire and straps that would stay the fuck up. AND NO PADDING. They're just much less common these days.

Laurel, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:27 (fifteen years ago) link

that is pretty
don't really like the title nine bra tho as i am v v picky when it comes to lace and usually don't want it anywhere on the bra. for everyday wear, i just want smooth, seamless bras. hell, they can be hot pink, i don't care, as long as they fit, have support (i like underwire when it's done well), don't have seams, and don't cover half my freakin chest and torso (unless they are tank top style, obv)

rrrobyn, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:28 (fifteen years ago) link

Rrrob, Victoria's Secret does make a cotton jersey bra w/ wires and no padding, and it's v affordable at for $40.

Trying to link to it just now didn't work, though.

Laurel, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:30 (fifteen years ago) link

Yeah, it's weird, even in my no-way-do-you-need-padding-out size, most of them have some. And so much, uh - forward thrust? Fie on fashion.

Jaq, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:31 (fifteen years ago) link

Sorry, TWO for $40. It's the unlined demi-bra in cotton. They also make an unlined racer-back, apparently.

Laurel, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:31 (fifteen years ago) link

this one's ugly, but it has no lace and is supposed to be as supportive as one with underwire:

http://images.figleaves.com/product/220x308/r282300-p282301-front.jpg

horseshoe, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:34 (fifteen years ago) link

Here's a DKNY mesh lace for only $30 -- I know you don't like lace but this would give you the shape you want, I think...?

Laurel, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:39 (fifteen years ago) link

Hanro makes a couple of plain unpadded bras in microfiber and fabrics that I'm sure feel 100% amazing on your skin but also start around $80.

Laurel, Tuesday, 12 August 2008 21:40 (fifteen years ago) link

ones = underwire ones

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 8 May 2019 05:26 (four years ago) link

Yeah, my old bras are mostly the right size but they are getting worn out. I really needed new ones!

I'm off to the shop today. This is the second raffle I've won in less than a month. Maybe I should buy lottery tickets.

tokyo rosemary, Wednesday, 8 May 2019 13:44 (four years ago) link

I’ve been fitted several times over the years at dif places and every single time I’m the same size as the bras I’ve been wearing anyway. It *is* weirdly disappointing!

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 8 May 2019 19:00 (four years ago) link

No-wire bras seem to just laugh in my face so I laugh in theirs

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Wednesday, 8 May 2019 19:02 (four years ago) link

These are now my favorite bras: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01N5G307N/ref=ox_sc_saved_image_5?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&psc=1

Some cute colors, lightly lined, straps never fall down and don’t need to be adjusted again and again, provides nice shape, super comfy.

I got a thirdlove bra last year and it was crap. I was in the midst of a breakdown so the return window closed before I could get a refund.

just1n3, Wednesday, 8 May 2019 20:57 (four years ago) link

Wacoal bras are great ime - i have two, similar to the one in link above, that I bought a few years ago and they’re still going strong.
Aerie (American eagle) has a nice full-coverage t-shirt style bra too. Not quite as sturdily constructed as Wacoal but decent and comfortable!

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Friday, 10 May 2019 23:03 (four years ago) link

seven months pass...

My 40th birthday present to myself was going to a fancy little boutique and getting my first ever proper bra fitting. I’m shocked to find out I’m not a 38DD/DDD but a 38/40F/GG. I got two amazing bras for an insane $210.

just1n3, Sunday, 22 December 2019 01:51 (four years ago) link

ooh! That’s great :) I should get fitted again one of these days...

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 24 December 2019 02:56 (four years ago) link

three months pass...

bras in the time of COVID ...

sarahell, Thursday, 2 April 2020 15:44 (four years ago) link

i looked at all my bras to see if there were any appropriate rejiggering as a facemask ones. Nope.

Yerac, Thursday, 2 April 2020 15:49 (four years ago) link

haha i was actually thinking that it could be possible to take a bra cup and maybe use it as the mouth part for a face mask!!

So ... in general ... underwires y/n rn

sarahell, Thursday, 2 April 2020 15:51 (four years ago) link

I was also wondering that but feared its origins would be too obvious and nobody wants to be the mad fat old woman walking round with half a bra stuck to her face even in These Uncertain Times (TM)

a passing spacecadet, Thursday, 2 April 2020 15:55 (four years ago) link

yeah there was too much synthetic materials.

Yerac, Thursday, 2 April 2020 16:00 (four years ago) link

i was trying to envision how an underwire could function as a seal ... i did not methodically follow that thought to a sensible solution

sarahell, Thursday, 2 April 2020 16:09 (four years ago) link

When I have places to go, Yes underwire. But I just ordered two more wireless cup bras from Third Love yesterday bc I like the one I have and we live indoors in sweatpants now.

There's more Italy than necessary. (in orbit), Thursday, 2 April 2020 16:27 (four years ago) link

I've been freetitting it in the house for the last 3 years?

Yerac, Thursday, 2 April 2020 16:33 (four years ago) link

I am not questioning whether I am, just the time period.

Yerac, Thursday, 2 April 2020 16:33 (four years ago) link

videoconferencing from home: freeboob or bra?

sarahell, Thursday, 2 April 2020 16:51 (four years ago) link

I don't videoconference while WFH, but I put on a bra every day. Past experience has taught me that my oversized boobs get sweaty and uncomfortable very soon.

Life is a banquet and my invitation was lost in the mail (j.lu), Thursday, 2 April 2020 16:57 (four years ago) link

In my entire life I have never worn bras indoors but now I'm kinda feeling like SOME support is helpful now that this is something I do full-time.

There's more Italy than necessary. (in orbit), Thursday, 2 April 2020 16:59 (four years ago) link

i sleep on my stomach so i even out support/lifetime sag that way.

Even when I exercise now, as long as I am not doing a crazy amount of bouncing I only wear a hanes wirefree pullover bra thing.

Yerac, Thursday, 2 April 2020 17:02 (four years ago) link

i also think they are more evenly distributed when I don't wear a bra and when I do all the weight is pushed together and it gets sweaty that way.

Yerac, Thursday, 2 April 2020 17:04 (four years ago) link

a few days ago I was on a zoom call and I was just wearing a sweatshirt w/no bra, and I realized that the laptop camera angle did not go that far down so ... freeboob?

sarahell, Thursday, 2 April 2020 17:07 (four years ago) link

i am always for no bra if it's not hurting you or there isn't an extreme nipple situation.

Yerac, Thursday, 2 April 2020 17:08 (four years ago) link

i always wear a bra unless i am showering or sleeping but i wear those little thin wireless softies, like a training bra
i think they are called bralette now. for exercise i wear a sports bra but i do a lot of jumping/bouncing

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 2 April 2020 18:31 (four years ago) link

I think bralettes are selling very well rn

sarahell, Thursday, 2 April 2020 19:01 (four years ago) link

that's all i've worn for ?? years. when i think about wearing a padded underwire bra, i feel embarrassed for myself.

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 2 April 2020 19:02 (four years ago) link

the padded underwire bra is key to my wardrobe for going out to the club, etc. it's uh, related to being plus-size and single

sarahell, Thursday, 2 April 2020 19:14 (four years ago) link

ha, i really don't like nipples poking out so I am pro a lightly padded bra. Bralettes kind of don't 'pull the room together' for me.

Yerac, Thursday, 2 April 2020 19:18 (four years ago) link

after six months of HRT i'm finally getting to the point where i feel like i can branch out from the padded camis i've been wearing aaaand we're all supposed to be on lockdown, which sort of puts the kibosh on my plans to get professionally fitted... i have no idea what my cup size is. i tried using the calculator for abrathatfits and it said i was a d cup, which i don't think so??? turns out that calculator is apparently just hot garbage for amabs.

i guess at some point i should just start ordering random brassieres off the internet and seeing how they fit.

Kate (rushomancy), Thursday, 2 April 2020 19:18 (four years ago) link

cup sizes got totally warped by bad writing. If you measured your band size and across the top of your breasts and it said you are a D cup you are probably a D cup.

Yerac, Thursday, 2 April 2020 19:21 (four years ago) link

some of the cup size issue w/r/t bras in terms of fitting also depends on boob layout, as it were. In terms of interior decor, playing off the "pull the room together" thing -- if your boobs are laid out like furniture kept to the sides of the room with more open space in the middle, some bras don't fit all that comfortably. As opposed to boobs that leave more space between the furniture and the walls.

sarahell, Thursday, 2 April 2020 19:32 (four years ago) link

yeah, i got fitted in a professional shop where they just look at you topless and know your size and I was a D cup despite me thinking my boobs were b-c. It is all about the open floor plan.

Yerac, Thursday, 2 April 2020 19:53 (four years ago) link

I’m not embarrassed about the underwire and padding, I’m embarrassed of myself. I saw a photo the other day from my early 20s and my boobs were like up by my chin (exaggeration) it was just unnatural and weird for me.

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 2 April 2020 20:20 (four years ago) link

Kate, I def recommend going somewhere to be fitted, when it’s possible again. I REALLY thought I’d read all the articles, done all the measurements, and knew my bra size - I was quite wrong! Shape is really important too. When I finally got fitted last year, I tried on like 100 bras in the same size and only a handful really worked for me.

I prefer a lightly lined cup too, I have piercings that are just for me, not the whole world to see.

just1n3, Thursday, 2 April 2020 21:24 (four years ago) link

Also, I went to small local boutique that is openly trans-friendly and fat-friendly, which made me feel a lot more comfortable. Hopefully there’s somewhere like that near you.

just1n3, Thursday, 2 April 2020 21:26 (four years ago) link

well, if i can't find a trans-friendly and fat-friendly clothing boutique in portland oregon i will be sad :(

Kate (rushomancy), Thursday, 2 April 2020 22:58 (four years ago) link

Haven’t worn a bra since the last day I was at work three weeks ago. Unsure how I can ever go back. Been freeboobing through multiple videocalls; the angle doesn’t reach the nipples so I’m not concerned that I’ve been “exposed”

she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Friday, 3 April 2020 23:33 (four years ago) link

ten months pass...

i bought a new brand of bra (new for me) online & it arrived and it FITS

that never happens! it barely happens in person ffs lol

i feel like i should get an award!

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 12 February 2021 23:00 (three years ago) link

I'd classify that as an actual miracle tbh! I have happily gone 100% stretchy Bali no wire elasto-squooshers.

Jaq, Saturday, 13 February 2021 00:50 (three years ago) link

yay both of you! seriously, with covid/work from home, putting on an underwire bra is like "an event" the way putting on a cocktail dress and doing fancy eye makeup used to be. Needless to say ... I don't think I've worn a cocktail dress and done fancy eye makeup in almost 11 months?

sarahell, Saturday, 13 February 2021 01:22 (three years ago) link

i was just feeling like my saggy supportless boobs needed some help

wacoal awareness was the one i got. no frills, v supportive but not like matronly

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 13 February 2021 01:31 (three years ago) link

ooooh good to know!

sarahell, Saturday, 13 February 2021 01:32 (three years ago) link

nine months pass...

I think I’ve found the holy grail bra?????

I saw a fat fashion blogger raving about this bra, but it’s pricey as fuck so I put it on the wishlist for my mother in law (she’s the best - she demands a wishlist for Xmas/birthday) and she ended up buying me one.

https://evelynbobbie.com/products/defy-bra

Its:
Wireless
Seamless
Has amazing lift (as much lift as my wired Elomi bra)
Is insanely comfortable

I was dubious at first bc I could barely get it down over my shoulders then chest, but once it was on - it’s so weird bc it feels supportive but somehow there’s no tightness or pressure anywhere??? It’s fucking magic. I was kinda worried about sizing since it’s not adjustable anywhere but I’m a 38G/GG and I got the 2XL and it’s perfect.

Worth every penny but they also have a 20% discount on first orders if you sign up for the newsletter. I’m gonna but at least two more. I don’t know if I can wear any other bra again.

just1n3, Wednesday, 24 November 2021 12:51 (two years ago) link

After a traumatic go with a similar Spanx bra, I've actively avoided styles like this, but I'm interested to try this one after reading how it's working for you! I see they offer one with hardware for back and straps too, if needed. Do you find the lower edge rolling up at all?

Jaq, Wednesday, 24 November 2021 17:12 (two years ago) link

Yeah the band does roll a little - I emailed them to ask if that meant I needed a different size and she replied that it wasn’t an issue they’d encountered during testing but they’d received similar reports

“We have heard feedback from customers who experience the band rolling, and our designer is aware of the issue. Some women find that after wearing it and "breaking it in" the band is more malleable and flips up less. We believe it has to do with length of torso, and also ribcage projection.”

I have a really short waist so I think that might be the issue

just1n3, Wednesday, 24 November 2021 18:13 (two years ago) link

If clothing rolls, it will always roll on me.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Wednesday, 24 November 2021 19:49 (two years ago) link

I'm also short-waisted, so maybe that's why it seems to happen.

Jaq, Wednesday, 24 November 2021 20:33 (two years ago) link

I'm giving a tentative thumbs up to the most recent Torrid wire-free bras -- I'm a D so idk how they work for larger sizes, though they definitely carry them -- also on sale

sarahell, Sunday, 28 November 2021 00:38 (two years ago) link

The only thing is: As a non-binary person, I *like* the bolted-on feeling that underwires give me.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 28 November 2021 03:46 (two years ago) link


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