_Iron Chef_ -- Search and Destroy

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Dammit, Ally, you have a great subject line like that and then you veer it in another (equally fine, admittedly) direction. So therefore, again assuming that we all agree it is Classic, or so I hope -- fave episodes/guests/etc., lamest episodes/guests/etc.?

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 27 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Destroy Bobby Flay. I will volunteer to do this personally, with a ball of twine and pliers.

Nicole, Wednesday, 27 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

idda be da pinefox time -wtf is the iron chef....in oz, we have the two fat hos, and the fucking pukka who's never nude chef, but iron? I knew who the iron sheik was though...

Geoff, Wednesday, 27 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Search: ingredients that are alive, tofu, and seafood Destroy: Iron Chef Italian

Jeff, Wednesday, 27 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I would have thought you guys would have Iron Chef before us. It's a Japanese cooking show where two chefs (a challenger and one of the staff chefs, who are known as the Iron Chefs due to there fercious culinary skills) face off in a cooking competition where they have to make a multi-course meal developed around a theme ingredient (ie, crabs, bell peppers, abalone, curry powder, etc). They have an hour to cook once the theme ingredient has been revealed, after which point they present their meals to a panel of judges, who then picks a winner.

Basically, think of a cooking done as a competitive sport, complete with play-by-play and color commentary.

Dan Perry, Wednesday, 27 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oh you mean READY STEADY COOK!! Formerly with the GRATE Ferne Britton (rowr) now with the useless Ainsley Harriott.

mark s, Wednesday, 27 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Ainsely Herriott, feh.

No, it's better than Ready Set Cook by a country mile.

Nicole, Wednesday, 27 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Search: Iron Chef Insect special

mark s, Wednesday, 27 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

As Nicole said -- Bobby Flay = SATAN. We are convinced over here in OC-land that the rematch was a fix, in order to prompt a third and final match. Ain't no way Flay won that event.

I think the great way to get rid of him would be to let him stand up on the cutting board again, and then chop off his legs at the knees.

"FUJI-SAN!"

"Go, Ohta!"

"Bobby Flay seems to be dying in agony..."

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 27 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Sorry to make this all about the Flay, but have you ever seen his show? The most horrifying thing about it is that he's not even the most irritating person on it; he has this horrid late thirties co- host who deliberately points her (sub-average) boobs at the camera at every given opportunity and attempts to be a flirty young ingenue. And an annoying producer, etc. The man and all that surround him are from hell. People who moan about Jamie Oliver have never seen Bobby Flay! I have always thought Morimoto looks a bit like Chow Yun Fat, he should have made like his character from the Killer and unleashed bloody mayhem on Flay and his minions.

Nicole, Wednesday, 27 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Do they do unnecessary implement action? I one saw Ken Hom v.neatly crush garlic with a slap from the flat of a cleaver. I have tried to imitate this for years — but all I ever achieve is having to pick a shaken but uncrushed clove from one of the dingier corners of my kitchen...

mark s, Wednesday, 27 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

There's a ton of high-speed dicing, chopping, mixing, slicing, dipping, arranging, etc. Possible the coolest thing I've seen on the show that I wanted to try myself was when they made bell pepper ice cream. ROCK.

Dan Perry, Wednesday, 27 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Squid ink ice cream. Ice cream with sugared fin in it. Etc.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 27 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

This, I *think*, this is offending my tastebuds? Yes. I think so.

Kim, Wednesday, 27 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

search: The subtitled rather than the dubbed versions of the show, which used to be aired locally in SF (and possibly other cities) before the Food Network purchased the rights. As with films, dubbing is crap and the mangled, charming translation of English-to-Japanese is priceless.

scott p., Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oh man, I wish we had Iron Chef here. It sounds grate.

Richard Tunnicliffe, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Favorite show: Chinese Team vs. Italian Team, using the ringleader's (Bobby Flay's?) favorite ingredients -- banana, sea turtle, and pork loin. First and only time I've ever seen the show -- admit it, you love the slo-mo chinstroking shots where the ringleader's reminiscing on his favorite dishes, strings swell, looks towards horizon, de-focuses eyes... *sniff*... where are the Snowpeas of yesteryear??

Tracer Hand, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

It's all about how Kaga takes a bite out of the pepper, turns to the camera with that smile...and then, as the camera pulls back, he gives a quick, satisfied chuckle. Pure fucking genius.

If Shatner can even approach a tenth of Kaga's cool with the upcoming American-only special, then it'll be the best thing he's ever done.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Whoa there Neddy! Coolest thing he ever did? Apparently you haven't been introduced to a little thing called "Tek Wars". Seriously though, that is pretty bog words you using there. Need I remind you of his rendition of "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" again?

Tom Porrino, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Jesus H., Tom, _Tek War_, I ask you. Let's pretend we all hallucinated everything about that. "Lucy" was a joy, though.

Ned Raggett, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I've never seen it, but my Canadian friend pointed me in the direction of the unofficial Iron Chef stats page a while ago. It certainly looks like it beats the pants off Ready Steady Cook.

Nick, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

two years pass...
Hooray! It finally hit the Australian screen (2 years later, as is traditional). Don't they make great play of the camp Zen profundity. I even liked the overdubbing - it reminded me of Monkey.

colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Saturday, 15 November 2003 20:59 (twenty years ago) link

Oh good. World conquest is assured, further!

Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 15 November 2003 21:04 (twenty years ago) link

Regarding the slam-crush of the garlic that was mentioned above - someone slam-crushed ginger root last night. Was that also trickery? Or a different kind of ginger to the solid, pithy, heavy one I've been using? I doubt very much I could crush mine with a hammer.

colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Saturday, 15 November 2003 21:13 (twenty years ago) link

they've REALLY gotta put this out on DVD

M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 15 November 2003 21:22 (twenty years ago) link

i loved the one in which the female challenger (don't remember her name) used cocoa on kobe beef. chocolate and meat! two of my favorite things! though i wonder what it tasted like, must've been odd.

Emilymv (Emilymv), Saturday, 15 November 2003 22:48 (twenty years ago) link

Search: "Battle Octopus"!

Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Saturday, 15 November 2003 23:36 (twenty years ago) link

six years pass...

Have only discovered this show in the past week on crappy UK channels - so crap it's Channel 32,431 or something.
WHAT A FUCKING SHOW!
Why did no one think to apply the televisual techniques of sports broadcasting to haute cuisine before? And then to cross it with Kung Fu (not the discipline, the show). Just genius. Fucking genius.

ithappens, Friday, 4 December 2009 18:32 (fourteen years ago) link

Destroy the host of the American Iron Chef who "blackfaces" his way through each episode with his horrible Japanese and Kung Fu poses.

Guy bugs bigtime.

vlogger working on a thinkpiece about the gastro-truck revolution (Steve Shasta), Friday, 4 December 2009 19:02 (fourteen years ago) link

I don't watch the American show at all

unobtaintium (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 4 December 2009 19:09 (fourteen years ago) link

yea iron chef (japanese version) is the bomb.
i think i saw one with joel robuchon . . .
used to drink everytime the play-by-play dude said "fukui-san"
and get shnockered watching this show

american version is a pathetically sad simulacrumb

Shackleton Crater (jdchurchill), Friday, 4 December 2009 21:03 (fourteen years ago) link

"Destroy the host of the American Iron Chef who "blackfaces" his way through each episode with his horrible Japanese and Kung Fu poses."

Mark Dacascos! How can anyone want to destroy him is beyond me although I may still be crushin' on him for his star turn in American Samurai. Considering he was pretty well martial artist I don't know what other kinds of poses you'd expect though.

Fig On A Plate Cart (Alex in SF), Friday, 4 December 2009 21:09 (fourteen years ago) link

used to drink everytime the play-by-play dude said "fukui-san"
― Shackleton Crater (jdchurchill)

This is a great idea. I am going to do this.

moley, Friday, 4 December 2009 21:13 (fourteen years ago) link

Considering he was pretty well martial artist I don't know what other kinds of poses you'd expect though.

What the hell does Kung Fu have to do with cooking? His shtick is stupid and offensive.

vlogger working on a thinkpiece about the gastro-truck revolution (Steve Shasta), Friday, 4 December 2009 23:50 (fourteen years ago) link

Isn't his uncle the host of the Japanese version of the show?

schwantz, Friday, 4 December 2009 23:52 (fourteen years ago) link

I think the english voice-actor overdubbers for the Japanese version of Iron Chef are AMAZING! So fun to listen to.

schwantz, Friday, 4 December 2009 23:54 (fourteen years ago) link

xp Not really. It's just something they made up to connect it to the original.

lindseykai, Friday, 4 December 2009 23:54 (fourteen years ago) link

used to drink everytime the play-by-play dude said "fukui-san"

Here's the full Iron Chef Drinking Game: http://www.lemurlove.com/ironchef.htm

Elvis Telecom, Friday, 4 December 2009 23:56 (fourteen years ago) link

and if that disappears...

The Rules of the Game

For the game, the group divides into Challengers, Iron Chefs, and Commentators. If you're not with a drinking crowd, yet you still want to play (!?), give everyone paper and pencil. Instead of drinking, make a mark on the paper as instructed. The group with the lowest combined points win. Whereas in the drinking game, the group that is the most sober wins, if anyone is still interested in winning at that point.

Challengers
- One drink when the challenger says, "I will win." If he/she uses the word "definitely", take an additional drink.
- Two drinks anytime your chef is announced as being the master of some inane ingredient, such as salt.
- Two drinks if the theme ingredient is not seafood.
- One drink if the theme ingredient is foie gras, caviar, shark's fin or truffles.
- One drink if other Iron Chefs, past or present, are on hand to witness the battle. One extra drink if all the current and former Iron Chefs are present.
- Two drinks if the Iron Chef writes up a menu beforehand. If the Iron Chef is Michiba, then take only one drink.
- One drink for Michiba's "broth of vigor".
- Three drinks if your chef is using bird's nest as an ingredient. Take one additional drink if it's red bird's nest.
- One drink anytime the ice cream maker is shown.
- One drink anytime entrails are used.
- Two drinks anytime your chef uses an odd prop in the presentation of one of his dishes (e.g. newspaper or a Coca-Cola paper cup)
- Two drinks if your chef throws out a dish.
- One drink if your chef uses one of the following luxury ingredients: caviar, foie gras, truffles, shark's fin or champagne. One additional drink per additional luxury ingredient (unless of course, this is the theme ingredient).
- Two drinks if the opponent makes a dessert out of a non-dessert item (like oyster or caviar).
- One drink if your chef says his or her dishes are "okay" or "alright".
- One drink when your chef prepares a dish that requires partial assembly by the judges.
- Two drinks every time your opponent is seen smiling during the tasting.
- One drink each time your opponent personally serves out his or her dish.
- One drink when Kishi Asako tears into your chef's dish.
- Two drinks if Kishi likes your opponent's dish.
- One drink per judge that votes for Iron Chef.
- One drink when the Iron Chef, relieved to have won, rubs his face with his hands and then squints and blinks repeatedly.

Iron Chefs
- Two drinks anytime it is a special battle that features only one particular Iron Chef rather than being chosen by the challenger at the beginning of the show.
- Two drinks if the theme ingredient is not seafood.
- One drink if the theme ingredient is foie gras, caviar, shark's fin or truffles.
- One drink if the Iron Chef complains the ingredient is not often used in his style of cuisine.
- Two drinks if your opponent writes up a menu beforehand.
- Two drinks anytime entrails are used.
- Three drinks if your chef is using bird's nest as an ingredient. Take one additional drink if it's red bird's nest.
- One drink anytime the ice cream maker is shown.
- Two drinks anytime your chef uses an odd prop in the presentation of one of his dishes (e.g. newspaper or a Coca-Cola paper cup).
- Two drinks if your chef throws out a dish.
- One drink if your chef uses one of the following luxury ingredients: caviar, foie gras, truffles, shark's fin or champagne. One additional drink per additional luxury ingredient (unless of course, this is the theme ingredient).
- Two drinks if the opponent makes a dessert out of a non-dessert item (like oyster or caviar).
- If your chef says his or her dishes are "okay" or "alright", take one drink.
- One drink when your chef prepares a dish that requires partial assembly by the judges.
- Two drinks every time your opponent is seen smiling during the tasting.
- One drink each time your opponent personally serves out his or her dish.
- One drink when Kishi Asako tears into your chef's dish.
- Two drinks if Kishi likes your opponent's dish.
- One drink per judge that votes for the opposing chef.
- Three drinks if the challenger wins.

Commentators
-Two drinks anytime anyone says that the Iron Chef, his Challenger, or the Challengers team needs to redeem him/her/itself with this battle.
- One drink if someone comments on the difficulty of using the theme ingredient.
- One drink whenever a commentator mentions how expensive the ingredient is.
- One drink when the announcer mentions a chef has his/her rice cooker on.
- One drink any time someone comments that a chef is using the "double-cleaver technique."
- Two drinks if a replay is shown. Take an additional drink if the replay involves fire.
- One drink if one of the commentators asks, "I wonder what he/she's going to do with that?" or any similar question.
- One drink when someone describes a dish as being "luxurious."
- One drink when someone complains a chef is being wasteful. One extra drink if it is Nakamura who is being wasteful. (Yeah, if you're watching on Fine Living you have no idea who he is. I hope they dub his shows soon.)
- One drink if someone mentions America, the United States, or New York during one of Morimoto's battles.
- One drink whenever someone says, "I think he may steam that."
- One drink if someone alludes to Morimoto's earring.
- One drink if the commentators comment on a chef's sweating.
- Two drinks if a commentator questions the idea of making an ice-cream out of a non-dessert item.
- One drink any time a judge that looks like a rap star makes an intelligent and complex critique of one of the dishes.
- One drink any time a judge takes his/her first bite of a dish, then his/her eyes get really wide and he/she makes some type of vapid, overexcited comment on the dish such as "This is very good!"
- Two drinks when a judge claims he or she is being "selfish" when evaluating a dish.
- One drink every time a judge is "reassured" by a dish.
- One drink if Fukui asks if the winner will be the Iron Chef or the "hero" of the challenger's particular cuisine.
- One drink per point disparity between the scores for the Iron Chef and the Challenger that exceeds one by any individual judge (e.g. If one judge gives the Iron Chef 19 points and the Challenger 17 points, drink twice for a two point difference).

Everyone
- One drink when Kaga Takeshi says, "If memory serves me right ..."
- One drink when Kaga bites into something and looks pensive, such as the bell pepper during the opening credits (and yes, this one counts too!). Anyone who laughs when he does it takes an additional drink.
- Three drinks if the ingredient is lowered from the ceiling instead of raised up from the floor.
- One drink if a chef uses bonito (that flaky tan stuff in a bag used to make broths).
- Two drinks if the ingredient is still alive when presented to the chefs.
- Two drinks if the initial preparation of the theme ingredient makes you ill (you may want to make sure you have a clear path to the bathroom first, though).
- Applaud if Chin makes a fried rice dish at the last minute.
- Two drinks if the judges are tied two to two and the battle is decided on points. Two more drinks if the points are tied and there will be a half-hour tie breaker.
- Four drinks if it is the Iron Chef's retirement battle. Three more drinks if he wins it.

Elvis Telecom, Saturday, 5 December 2009 00:02 (fourteen years ago) link

I would be drunk off my ass within ten minutes of most episodes.

Ned Raggett, Saturday, 5 December 2009 00:23 (fourteen years ago) link

Isn't his uncle the host of the Japanese version of the show?

― schwantz, Friday, December 4, 2009 3:52 PM (53 minutes ago)

no, it's a fictional excuse for him to do his weird fake-Japanese act, preying on that alllooksame trope.

vlogger working on a thinkpiece about the gastro-truck revolution (Steve Shasta), Saturday, 5 December 2009 00:49 (fourteen years ago) link

We're playing a version of the drinking game now during squid battle. I'd like to add one more condition: whenever anyone refers to 'masking the smell' of an ingredient, you should drain your glass.

moley, Saturday, 5 December 2009 09:48 (fourteen years ago) link

Confession: I have only seen the US version. I don't think the original has been shown on UK TV. I don't find Iron Chef America stupid and offensive though: I find it stupid and hilarious. And I find the cooking awe inspiring, especially given that serious fucking chefs are taking it fucking seriously.

ithappens, Saturday, 5 December 2009 11:55 (fourteen years ago) link

I like ICA, no apologies.

WmC, Saturday, 5 December 2009 13:54 (fourteen years ago) link

thirteen years pass...

Hail and farewell Chen Kenichi

https://japannews.yomiuri.co.jp/society/obituaries/20230314-97127/

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 14 March 2023 18:20 (one year ago) link

very weird to think the og iron chefs were pretty young at the time of filming, watching the show they come across as these timeless ancients, wizened wizards summoned from a stone tablet by the chairman minutes before the cameras start rolling

chen was always my favorite, very zen, more bemused than competitive and yet still intimidating somehow

Florin Cuchares, Wednesday, 15 March 2023 02:36 (one year ago) link

Sakai was my favorite to watch, but Chen's dishes were always the one I wanted to eat.

Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 15 March 2023 02:53 (one year ago) link

rip iron chef Chen Kenichi

it's a new day in the international landscape (z_tbd), Wednesday, 15 March 2023 03:20 (one year ago) link

elvis otm. sakai and morimoto, legends of kitchen stadium, but Kenichi was reliable and a formidable chef. he gave me a lot of joy just to watch him do his thing

it's a new day in the international landscape (z_tbd), Wednesday, 15 March 2023 03:21 (one year ago) link

Morimoto bored me, give me Michiba any day. But Chen felt like the soul of the program, I loved his good humour and casual focus. So hard to beat.

assert (matttkkkk), Wednesday, 15 March 2023 03:28 (one year ago) link

just watched a couple of Chen challenges from the late 90s, what a guy

assert (matttkkkk), Wednesday, 15 March 2023 11:23 (one year ago) link

Jeez, in checking on the other chefs, hadn't realized Kobe aka Iron Chef Italian had died back in 2019 from a fall in one of his restaurants. That sucks!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masahiko_Kobe

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 March 2023 14:31 (one year ago) link

(All the other chefs are still with us.)

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 March 2023 14:32 (one year ago) link

Apparently, fearsome judge Kishi Asako passed in 2015.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asako_Kishi

Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 15 March 2023 20:12 (one year ago) link

Oh man, she was amazing.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 March 2023 20:15 (one year ago) link

Chairman Kaga still showing you how to live

https://www.office-k3.com/kagaplus/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/IMG_8800_.jpg

Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 15 March 2023 20:17 (one year ago) link

Shifting from Liberace to Bilbo Baggins without missing a beat.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 March 2023 20:18 (one year ago) link

Hey this is cool -- Sakai and Chen back in 2010 talking about the show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dC2gigq5JJ4

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 March 2023 21:16 (one year ago) link

Also, this is a supercut of dreams:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRmMqjZQR-4

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 March 2023 21:21 (one year ago) link

And finally for now at least, the introduction of Kobe as Iron Chef Italian -- theme song missing because of that little copyright issue but otherwise as god intended, in the original Japanese with subtitles.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7DQRhVi54w

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 15 March 2023 21:32 (one year ago) link


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