Warne's World

pete doherty all starring in a kwik fit ad in which he's about to shoot up but oh shit, just remembered i've got to get new tyres

sad fucken thing is, australia needs one or two like him now, every youth prospect seems to be a fucken glenn maxwell slog idiot or has a stupid name like 'jhye'

i say that, two days ago a young thing called arjun nair made his u19s debut and ripped england a new one

australian test team of 2025 will consist entirely of lads called 'jayden', 'jaxxson', 'jordayne' or 'mitch'

here was my personal contribution to warnie comments btw, yes I did post this on instagram: https://twitter.com/WarnieComments/status/617575383894855681

"Bruce Springsteen and myself just chilling in the corner, having a drink. Springsteen's got a cricket ball in his hands so he's just sorta... asking me questions about cricket."

http://www.youtube.com/v/2IEhXqfXdPY&fs=1&hl=en

"Two of my closest friends, Chris Martin and Michael Clarke."

waht

so many questions

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CMsG8Y7UYAAXhLv.png

Jack Nicholson carrying a carton of VB. Let that one sink in.

guy on the right in violet-shirt: Vince Vaughan
guy in pink shirt: David Cameron
Yul Brynner playing table tennis with a deviled kidney

loooool

fingers crossed that the Melbourne Stars comeback is a real thing

it's happened, he's on the Australian version of "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here"

now let us pray for our souls

Former Australian cricketer Shane Warne has cast doubt on the theory of evolution, observing that if all humans really did evolve from monkeys, “then why haven’t those ones [monkeys today] evolved?”

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2016/feb/15/im-saying-we-started-from-aliens-shane-warne-casts-doubt-on-evolution

he's like the bobby fischer of cricket

omg yes

seems to be a diversionary tactic to stop people talking about his dodgy dealings http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2016/feb/12/shane-warnes-former-personal-assistant-won-raffle-held-by-cricketers-charity

or alternatively perhaps he has just gone insane

okay there's that but I thought last week's Steve Waugh sledge was the false flag

this is a good rundown of all the shady charity dealings: http://www.smh.com.au/business/the-real-story-of-how-the-shane-warne-foundation-fell-apart-20160211-gmrbjs.html

I am currently watching Warnie get highly upset at the revelation that some high-profile DJs don't mix live

Warney going full Icke would be tremendous

Tonight, before Warnie engages in a Tug-of-War challenge: "I'm gonna give it my best tug!" (winks at camera)

Shane Warne tells charity critics to 'get stuffed'

I note that Warney only came fifth in "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here". First place was a former Australian rules footballer who once pissed on the window of a nightclub, had an affair with one of Michael Clarke's exes and punched an Irish barman.

Oh, and first place's choice of charity... a little organisation known as The Shane Warne Foundation.

‏@ShaneWarne
I know I've said this before, but I love "Stiffler" !! The "Stiffmeister" is such a tool, but so good Hahahah

https://twitter.com/ShaneWarne/status/719989341351763968

Excited for me to devour u?

pap smear

https://twitter.com/ShaneWarne/status/744640522594172928

huh

lovely first response

big beat areas, SK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q96hUU8X8X0

amazed to learn that Trump stole Warnie's aesthetic

oh my god, it's hanging in the white house pic.twitter.com/wrq8eo7Bvx

— Josh Billinson (@jbillinson) October 15, 2018

one's a large orange-skinned man with poor taste in art etc. etc.

only a home test loss away from MAKE AUSTRALIAN CRICKET GREAT AGAIN hats, I can feel it

his autobiography is out soon too, should be some rich pickings there

of all the revelations from the book that have hit the news so far, my favourite was Warnie correctly pointing out that Steve Waugh making the team wear baggy greens to Wimbledon was fucking embarrassing

also something about him being on the job on the night before a Test

A Week with Warnie on Kayo is helping us through the dark COVID-19 days with hilarious anecdotes like the summer in England where he had the goal to drink 10 pints in one sitting.

been watching clips of his bowling on youtube, it is really helping with my own backyard practice even though i'm an offie nowadays. he and murali had such calm and measure in their approach

Speaking of calm & measured, please enjoy Warnie out-psyching New Zealand with absolute trash (a robelinda2 joint, of course.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMsL0s6_aRs

that's one of the videos i was watching, amazing work

Things That Make You Go

Wow ! So S Waugh was involved in the most ever run outs in test cricket (104) & ran his partner out 73 times - is that correct ? Mmmmmmmmm https://t.co/TpEnbnDG1q

— Shane Warne (@ShaneWarne) May 15, 2020

THE SCENT OF WARNIE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pNIhg4A0Ks

What's in it, Shane?

https://youtu.be/kxL9cPIkHiY

THE SUMMER OF WARNE SO FAR

- His son went on SAS Australia, revealed that he's only ever eaten ten foods in his life.
- Warnie complains that he's been made to look like a bad parent for that.
- Warnie derails commentary in yesterday's ODI to broadcast a plea for cult snackfood Tasty Toobs to return to supermarket shelves.

isn't Warne a "I don't really like food, I'd be happy eating potatoes the whole time" person? I suppose when you smoke 40 a day you may as well eat bland food!

Never forget the airlift of baked beans to the Australian tour party of India, 1998.

Loving my new cap ! Keeper ? #peekyblindsrs #flatcap pic.twitter.com/DXAanlUGmN

— Shane Warne (@ShaneWarne) December 17, 2020

#peekyblindsrs

He getting the carpet re-laid.

I was less interested in Toby’s attempts to spice up his colleague’s pornographic screenplay, for example, than in one of the most fun ideas The Speechwriter introduces—a federal plan to install tobacconists and bakeries at every cricket academy in the country in order to re-create the conditions that produced Shane Warne.

they should actually try this imo

Watched the Warnie documentary recently and it was mostly Chris Martin & Ed Sheeran talking about him. Which is, er, what you'd expect from a documentary about Warnie.

Green Eyes morelike Great Areas

BREAKING

Australia cricket legend, Shane Warne, dies of ‘suspected heart attack’, aged 52.

Details: https://t.co/Q83t5FWzTb pic.twitter.com/YtQkY8Ir8p

— Fox Cricket (@FoxCricket) March 4, 2022

Jesus Christ.

Ah man

The unhealthy choices caught up with him but that's still no age at all. As a Pom I'm half tempted to say that watching Smith and Labuschagne bowling leggies in tandem earlier finished him off but honestly, one of the greatest, watching him at work was a lesson in psychological mastery

wtf

this hurts, too young (even after all the smoking and red bulls and diet pills)

saddest areas

rip the only cricketer i could name

Pure greatnesspic.twitter.com/I5QOHAdmxF

— Rob Moody (@robelinda2) March 4, 2022

Seriously, how good is Stifler in the American pie movies !!!!! He just cracks me up, such a knob, but, you can't not laugh....

— Shane Warne (@ShaneWarne) June 5, 2015

I know I've said this before, but I love "Stiffler" !! The "Stiffmeister" is such a tool, but so good Hahahah

— Shane Warne (@ShaneWarne) April 12, 2016

https://i.imgur.com/4XitIZZ.jpg

lmao thats v good, kinda makes me like him more

like those Late Show closing gig jokes… Joan Kirner instead of Joan Jett etc

VB, darts and meat pies left outside the MCG. It’s what Warnie would have wanted. Pic via NCA Newswire pic.twitter.com/dQ4zQFHKax

— Lucy Thackray (@LucyThack) March 5, 2022

otm

Describing the perfect meat pie temperature to "demolish them in 30 seconds" and then demonstrating technique https://t.co/xSFD0pD69A pic.twitter.com/RbY7aFrtZu

— Daniel Brettig 🏏 (@danbrettig) March 7, 2022