cycling LOLz

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cutty, Friday, 29 February 2008 17:00 (fifteen years ago) link

this picture of last sunday's race was posted on a NYC cycling board-

the winner of the 123s was rashad guerra--this post was in the comments:

It took me a while to figure it out. It was definitely a post-modern, almost interpretive-dance type victory salute. Quite engaging for an early Spring Series race, actually. One might even say haunting. AVD should be honored.

At first, I had the impression that he was chopping something up - for instance using a cleaver on a butcher block cutting board, slicing up a sushi roll perhaps. Or halving a melon. "The Iron Chef?" Or - less plausibly, perhaps - this was a shiatsu massage maneuver, as he had both arms alternating the chop, chop, chop motion. "Passionflower Shirley, the Yokohama Butterfly?"

Note that while the arms were slightly bent, they definitely weren't at 90º and they were not breaking the vertical line created by the torso - refer to the photograph above for confirmation. So while it might have evoked McEwen, only the casual and (dare I say) naïve observer could classify this rare specimen as simply "The Running Man". The limbs were not swinging back and forth, and he certainly did not have the jovial look on his face - again, please refer to the photographic evidence. It was not the running man, I concluded, that much was clear.

And while the disparate motion of the arms might have been inspired by Ewen McEwen's father's salute, Mr Guerra's had a much more menacing, stilted and robotic-like feel. He came thundering across the line, part man, part bike. Like an updated and modern-day Optimus Prime, more two-wheeler than 18-wheeler but - as evidenced by the look on his face - an evil one. And it became clear. He was a bicyborg, simultaneously winning races and crushing his human competitors. It was the theatrical embodiment of the Flight of the Conchords' first hit enmeshed with early morning winter bike racing - to paraphrase the great Bret and Jemaine, if he had poisonous gasses, he would've poisoned their a**es.

His victory salute classification is: "The Humans are Dead."

cutty, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 02:49 (fifteen years ago) link



nickalicious, Wednesday, 5 March 2008 16:51 (fifteen years ago) link

ha love that photo

cutty, Thursday, 6 March 2008 21:41 (fifteen years ago) link

dude was fucked up by the landing and then arrested. But it is a great picture...

Super Cub, Thursday, 6 March 2008 22:12 (fifteen years ago) link

There's a video of it isn't there?

W4LTER, Thursday, 6 March 2008 22:21 (fifteen years ago) link

so badass

gbx, Thursday, 6 March 2008 23:03 (fifteen years ago) link

Set as background.

nickalicious, Saturday, 8 March 2008 17:05 (fifteen years ago) link

Did he land on anyone?

nickalicious, Saturday, 8 March 2008 17:05 (fifteen years ago) link

not arrested, apparently. taken to hospital though:

caek, Thursday, 13 March 2008 20:04 (fifteen years ago) link

caek, Thursday, 13 March 2008 20:06 (fifteen years ago) link

am0n, Thursday, 13 March 2008 20:20 (fifteen years ago) link

Jordan, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 17:13 (fifteen years ago) link

^^^ pozzato

cutty, Monday, 24 March 2008 14:13 (fifteen years ago) link

cutty, Thursday, 27 March 2008 17:04 (fifteen years ago) link

aw, big guys like to ride too

He's gonna bump his head on traffic lights.

nickalicious, Thursday, 27 March 2008 17:05 (fifteen years ago) link

ps this is obvs not even remotely a bike but it's branded as one

sleep, Thursday, 10 April 2008 15:26 (fifteen years ago) link

According to one of BKW's sources, Fabian Cancellara dropped the entire CSC team while reconning Paris-Roubaix yesterday. Rode away from them. He overshot the rendezvous point with the bus, and as our source said, "Missed the bus." Apparently he had his cell phone with him and they had to ring the powerhouse up to get him to stop.

cutty, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:01 (fifteen years ago) link

dude is going to destroy P-R

cutty, Friday, 11 April 2008 18:01 (fifteen years ago) link

gbx, Saturday, 12 April 2008 18:20 (fifteen years ago) link!image/1225549870.jpg

wilter, Thursday, 17 April 2008 00:59 (fifteen years ago) link

tornado tom should have thrown his bike at the line instead of prancing around

cutty, Thursday, 17 April 2008 01:55 (fifteen years ago) link

Those lightweight wheels are offensive.

wilter, Thursday, 17 April 2008 02:01 (fifteen years ago) link

But i want them.

wilter, Thursday, 17 April 2008 02:01 (fifteen years ago) link

wilter are you W4LTER or someone new

cutty, Thursday, 17 April 2008 15:03 (fifteen years ago) link

beer company inspirational video

dan m, Thursday, 17 April 2008 18:31 (fifteen years ago) link

xpost i am walter

wilter, Thursday, 17 April 2008 23:55 (fifteen years ago) link

then click: Cavendish glijdt uit

Ed, Friday, 18 April 2008 05:48 (fifteen years ago) link

yeah that is hilarious.

wilter, Friday, 18 April 2008 06:01 (fifteen years ago) link

am0n, Friday, 18 April 2008 14:54 (fifteen years ago) link

thats one of the all time great shots


Hunt3r, Friday, 18 April 2008 15:52 (fifteen years ago) link

one month passes...

cutty, Monday, 19 May 2008 16:39 (fifteen years ago) link

cutty, Wednesday, 21 May 2008 14:21 (fifteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

good idea!

rrrobyn, Friday, 6 June 2008 17:21 (fifteen years ago) link

I'm sceptical... I remember how much effort it takes to push an old-fashioned lawn mower.

ledge, Friday, 6 June 2008 17:23 (fifteen years ago) link

Dude throws bike at line, wins, crashes.

Hunt3r, Monday, 16 June 2008 16:04 (fifteen years ago) link

i was right there

cutty, Monday, 16 June 2008 16:19 (fifteen years ago) link

there were 2 other crashes in the final lap, it was fucking nuts

cutty, Monday, 16 June 2008 16:19 (fifteen years ago) link

i figured you might have been there. did rodriguez get around it? he looks a bit tense there...

Hunt3r, Monday, 16 June 2008 16:51 (fifteen years ago) link

EVERYONE got it around. here's to bike handling skills:

cutty, Monday, 16 June 2008 17:15 (fifteen years ago) link

meanwhile, that morning i got 10th in the housatonic hills road race in connecticut. most brutal race i've ever done. almost quit bicycle racing five times during my stint in the pain cave.

cutty, Monday, 16 June 2008 17:16 (fifteen years ago) link

at least he won

Super Cub, Monday, 16 June 2008 17:48 (fifteen years ago) link

OOF the skid.

Laurel, Tuesday, 17 June 2008 17:48 (fifteen years ago) link

his left hand got run over by 2nd place.

Steve Shasta, Tuesday, 17 June 2008 18:04 (fifteen years ago) link

Yeah but that's probably okay, roadies don't weigh anything.

Laurel, Tuesday, 17 June 2008 20:18 (fifteen years ago) link

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Tuesday, 5 March 2013 14:34 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

i have yet to see anyone hipster on dual discs, but i spose that's happened, right?

life is good (Hunt3r), Tuesday, 30 April 2013 17:34 (ten years ago) link

I hope anyone stupid enough to ride dual discs on their hipster fixie has been blown into a river. It's all they deserve.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Tuesday, 30 April 2013 19:13 (ten years ago) link

saw a dude turn up at the end of an 'escape from the suburbs' alleycat on NOBR AKES lo-pro pursuit bike with bullhorns and rear disc. he placed well and it was a hilly route from what i recall too!

challops with the lobster flavor on top (haitch), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 03:43 (ten years ago) link


why are discs on fixies bad?

eris bueller (lukas), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 05:02 (ten years ago) link

disc wheels

well if it isn't old 11 cameras simon (gbx), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 05:14 (ten years ago) link

they're just silly on a fixie, right, not like actively dangerous. plus what about BIKE POLO.

eris bueller (lukas), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 16:01 (ten years ago) link

bike polo doesn't count, everyone's got homemade discs (and disc brakes) on their polo bike (around here at least)

i would think they'd be actively dangerous on ANY bike if you've got one in front

well if it isn't old 11 cameras simon (gbx), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 16:14 (ten years ago) link

It's not the fixie thing its more the massive sail you add to your bike. One side gust and you're in the canal.

I haven't seen a front disc in pro road TT in a while and rear discs are getting rarer now they have super deep section rims.

If we're going to talk dual disc LOLz we have to post this picture

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 17:29 (ten years ago) link

Speaking of getting blown into canals, two riders got blown into one on the Energiewacht Tour

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 17:36 (ten years ago) link

a disc rear on a fixie is unlikely to cause a problem unless it's really really windy or really gusty. a disc rear is good in gentle to moderate wind or breeze conditions, particularly at yaw. i can't make any argument for a front disc. all discs work best with yaw- the benefit of a disc in dead calm is like, reaaally tiny as far as i've heard. but to have yaw, you need some wind. and if you have wind on a front disc, it's gonna be dangerous according to the one person i know who's raced a front disc.

but why any disc on a hipster fixie? also, daer hipsters, i can sell you an awesome old rear disc, convertible to 120mm, with alloy brake track. i'll throw in the vittoria evo cx tubular on it. if you've not skidded a $100 tubular, you've not skidded. have someone film it for you!


lol, ed

life is good (Hunt3r), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 17:46 (ten years ago) link

also one of the best road tt guys on my team in the 90s always rode fixed with a rear disc for non-hilly tts.

life is good (Hunt3r), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 17:50 (ten years ago) link

probly posted here before but here are some definite canal plunge conditions.

life is good (Hunt3r), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 18:14 (ten years ago) link

two weeks pass...
two weeks pass...

"the bike lobby is an all-powerful enterprise."

give life back to old guys (Hunt3r), Monday, 3 June 2013 11:48 (ten years ago) link

different old white editor man here in melbourne ran nigh-on the exact same pissing and moaning article here on the weekend!

super wild whore sez (haitch), Monday, 3 June 2013 23:36 (ten years ago) link

uh I totally want this

乒乓, Friday, 7 June 2013 13:09 (ten years ago) link

donk's not dead (naus), Saturday, 22 June 2013 09:37 (ten years ago) link

two weeks pass...
three months pass...

true horror is discovering the inhumanity inside yourself

eris bueller (lukas), Friday, 25 October 2013 23:13 (nine years ago) link

Tangentially cycling related:

Six Belgian racing pigeons 'doped with drugs'

sous les paves, Saturday, 26 October 2013 00:54 (nine years ago) link

three weeks pass...

eris bueller (lukas), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 15:24 (nine years ago) link

the Adam Hansen one is truly something else

the zaprudest film xxx (haitch), Saturday, 23 November 2013 02:25 (nine years ago) link

not a tyre converted into a belt, a leather belt made to look like a tyre

the zaprudest film xxx (haitch), Thursday, 5 December 2013 04:12 (nine years ago) link

Now this is how you ride a road bike...

rp boo bryson (NickB), Tuesday, 10 December 2013 12:17 (nine years ago) link

holy shit, that bit with the lock gates

rp boo bryson (NickB), Tuesday, 10 December 2013 12:21 (nine years ago) link

omg @ 3:44

rp boo bryson (NickB), Tuesday, 10 December 2013 12:23 (nine years ago) link

Fuck me.

I can still taste the Taboo in my mouth when I hear those songs (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 10 December 2013 13:11 (nine years ago) link

the danny macaskill stuff on that is just fucking sick

rp boo bryson (NickB), Tuesday, 10 December 2013 13:19 (nine years ago) link

does this specialized trademark PR nightmare count as LOL, or is it more 'kind of LOL but mostly sad?'

eh mec, elle est ou ma caisse? (ytth), Wednesday, 11 December 2013 05:37 (nine years ago) link

p lolzy

gbx, Wednesday, 11 December 2013 16:13 (nine years ago) link

one month passes...

i've never seen anyone do it like this, that's...remarkable:

ad music for ad people (Hunt3r), Monday, 3 February 2014 20:28 (nine years ago) link

that is amazing!

12 years a slave to the rhythm (haitch), Friday, 7 February 2014 00:37 (nine years ago) link

two years pass...

, Monday, 6 February 2017 23:39 (six years ago) link

aero is everything

Basil-flavoured Zempilas (haitch), Thursday, 9 February 2017 00:48 (six years ago) link

three years pass...

lol at phil gaimon

megan thee macallan 18 year (||||||||), Wednesday, 20 May 2020 15:34 (three years ago) link


i mean, i like him but it is pretty hilarious that he went to all that effort (both in training and on youtube) and keegan swenson just...tweeted it out

gbx, Wednesday, 20 May 2020 22:18 (three years ago) link

ha exactly. swenson is such a monster--i'm trying to remember what event it was last year, i think he was the guy who had like multiple catastrophic mechanicals at like leadville or kanzaa but came back and like, podiumed with mooooonster power numbers. hope i'm not mistaking the story. And doing what he did at 6k to 7500ft is not to be overlooked _at all_. in pure wattage that is likely to be an 8-10% drop off what he could theoretically deliver at sea level where gaimon did it. i doubt, as a layman nerd, that he recovered anything close to that on a hairpin descent or low speed climb via wind friction, though there is obv some benefit there. it makes me think he'd just lap gaimon hth. and i sorta don't ~want~ to like gaimon in a way, but to the limited exposure i got, i really like gaimon, his long-ass video on this was wonderful and funny.

inveterate practitioner of antisocial distancing (Hunt3r), Thursday, 28 May 2020 13:39 (three years ago) link

RIP manu buchmann

||||||||, Sunday, 31 May 2020 13:58 (three years ago) link

||||||||, Tuesday, 9 June 2020 17:13 (three years ago) link

here's me

My kind of online “racing”

— Uli Fluhme (@ulif) June 10, 2020

||||||||, Wednesday, 10 June 2020 18:11 (three years ago) link


Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 11 June 2020 10:54 (three years ago) link

ha! exackly!

inveterate practitioner of antisocial distancing (Hunt3r), Thursday, 11 June 2020 13:46 (three years ago) link

and now lachlan's got it

gbx, Tuesday, 16 June 2020 14:19 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

Dogs and bikes!

— (@ProCyclingStats) August 21, 2020

||||||||, Friday, 21 August 2020 15:24 (three years ago) link

one month passes...

i saw this headline and imagined pennyfarthing racers now had to start passes earlier lest the giant front wheel upset their antagonist

lukas, Thursday, 8 October 2020 20:58 (two years ago) link

Didn't even take the bottle!

— Cillian Kelly (@irishpeloton) October 15, 2020

Ilxor in the streets, Scampo in the sheets (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 15 October 2020 11:24 (two years ago) link

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