Bike & Sports Drink Flavors that you've known and loved (and yes, also those that taste like guano)

I need help isolating what flavors/products/brands to gravitate toward and steer clear away from.

My on-bike nutrition (that's not coffee, choc-croissant, oat bars, in-n-out double double, etc.) can be defined as: (1) sports drinks, (2) goos, (3) gels, (4) recovery formula & (5) bars

(1) sports drink (salt, sugar, electrolytes, minerals):
+ Hammer Heed Lemon-Lime (not bad, kinda synthetic aftertaste)
+ Hammer Heed Unflavored (subtle citrus tones)
- Cytomax Citrus (cheaper than Hammer but nasty, like chalky plastic)
- Gatorade Lemon-Lime (an all american classic, but is basically garbage. luckily for me, it stays in my body for less than 90 minutes before returning to the earthly soil).
- Monster/Red Bull/Coca-Cola (all work in a pinch esp. when my fat ass senses mountains are in the mix)

Need help here. Cyto makes something called Cran-Grapefruit which sounds right in my wheelhouse but I'm a little scarred from the citrus to pull the trigger.

(1-A) Hammer Perpetuem - Orange Vanilla. I bought this on accident once, it's marketed as an ultra-endurance drink so I'd bring it on rides over 75 miles, had a weird mucous-y effect on me that was a turn off at first, but I learned to love it. would turn to it if i ever became an ultra-randonneur but for now just not practical)

(2)goos
+ Gu - Espresso Dream (my ~true love~, just magical. the chocolate one is not bad either).
- Hammer - sampled a ton of flavors and nary one made the cut. Raspberry was the most tolerable but Tropical succcccccked. Also, I hate their packaging (clumsy to open, never felt like I could evacuate all the contents easily leaving a mess in my pocket).

Kinda happy here, tell me your thoughts/feelings 2~~

(3)gels/blox
clif blox - cola (w/ 50mg of caffeine!!!!!1!!!1!1111), raspberry is not bad either.

also, feel pretty set up on these, these are good on those long weekend rides when you feel epic bonkage looming.

(4) recovery drink
+ Hammer - Recoverite (Subtle Citrus) - HELLLP. I need this after I ride but why must it taste like hot wet ass. Ugh. Is there another flavor recommended? I sampled Chocolate and it sucked as well. The aftertaste on these lingers.
+ Odwalla - Monster Protein Chocolate. This isn't really marketed at athletes but it tastes insane and has 33g of protein in one bottle. Can find on sale often.
- Muscle Milk Chocolate - tastes okay and is ridiculously expensive. fuk u.

Help!

(5) bars:
+ Hammer - chocolate, coconut cashew owns but is $$$
+ Kind - i think the best is the coconut almond macadamia (or something (but also $$$). I may try to make these at home. *flips bird at whomever manufactures these*
- clif is pretty cheap at Safeway (seems like there always on sale for $1 at the major groceries but also seem kinda garbage/junk food).

these are good quick bites if i'm riding ~seriously~ (ie w/o stopping every 20 miles for coffee and pastries *burp*), lmk what u eat like this pls!

My new jams:

Recoverite = chocolate. Goes well with plain yogurt and bananas. Life saver.

Drink: Perpetuem Caffe Latte. Unless it's super hot and then I try to get rid of all my Cytomax.

I now have bypassed Odwalla Monster Protein Chocolate with pure chocolate milk. Way more cost effective and does the same trick. Can't be arsed to Muscle Milk ever.

gels/bloks: Clif discontinued Cola so now I alternate between Black Cherry and Tropical Punch.

go for the maurice garin approach

Garin rode 701 km in 24 hours, beating the only other rider to finish by 49 km. Garin said he had survived on

lots of strong red wine
19 litres of hot chocolate
seven litres of tea
eight cooked eggs
a mix of coffee and champagne
45 cutlets
five litres of tapioca
two kilos of rice
and oysters.

I don't know how brands differ in the UK and the US, but the ones I am happy to use repeatedly:

High5 4-1 energy drinks - summer fruits flavour (I think?). Does the job, claims amazing special carbs give super-benefits, tastes okay

ZipVit chocolate orange protein recovery bars - kinda heavy but genuinely tasty.

But the king of omg delicious cycling foodz are these, in cola: http://www.wiggle.co.uk/p/cycle/7/PowerBar_Rideshots_Box_Of_16_Packets/5360041712/

"a mix of coffee and champagne" !!!!!!!

that sounds REVOLTING yet i would try it.

i dabbled with some energy foodz on that otways ride a couple months back - liked the vanilla GU goo packs, also had 'winners' brand energy bars which i only ended up consuming one on the day - choc mint was tasty, the evans-endorsed 'cadel mountain mix' was a blend of nuts, grains and berries and was also pretty dece actually.

would not try