Fat Mantis Nutrition Plan

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Let's say, for the sake of argument, I have the legs of a sprinter and the gut of a middle aged lederhosen wearing bavarian brewer and oompah euphonium player. What should I be doing to shrink the gut whilst simultaneously having enough energy to bike daily and work the crazy hours I do?

I guess I could do this on the nutrition nazis thread but I am lazy and don't want to read all the history.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Sunday, 18 April 2010 19:17 (fourteen years ago) link

this is an interesting question as I'm in a similar, possibly more extreme boat. I love my food, very much so, and consequently am quite overweight, yet my legs are pretty good, strong toned calves and thighs, above that - it all goes to shit toning wise, also when I've been out on the bike so far, at the end of a ride I'm always pushing v v close to the deadly bonk.....

I know I need to go on a v serious diet, but... I can imagine gym/biking getting much harder with way less fuel.

and yes, have already made my quinoa/pecan/cranberry salad thing for tomorrow, god help me.

problem chimp (Porkpie), Sunday, 18 April 2010 19:23 (fourteen years ago) link

Last time I lost a serious amount of weight I atkinsed it away which is a pretty easy was to loose weight even if you do end up eating and awful lot of M&S bean salads. However that sucks from an energy level point of view.

I'm starting by lowering the beer intake, this makes early morning rides easier in any case. I'm sure it doesn't help that the office has a fridge full of chocolate, pretzels and boylans sodas. I'm sure I could do a lot moving to water, nuts and yoghurt for snacks which is far from an unpleasant way to go.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Sunday, 18 April 2010 19:40 (fourteen years ago) link

I'm thinking the lattes have to go, possibly being replaced by flat whites or even americanos with a dash of milk (need a longer drink than an espresso).

I have a horrible feeling that it's going to have to be South beach phase 1 (has worked before). Beer will be the main problem. Have to do something tho.

problem chimp (Porkpie), Sunday, 18 April 2010 19:45 (fourteen years ago) link

i asked mr. cuttye similar questions a year ago and he advised: long, base endurance rides. ride as long as you can without stopping, don't worry about distance, don't worry about speed, just get your hours in. you start riding 10-12 hours a week (commuting helps) and the pounds will come off (well not all but quite a few!)

_▂▅▇█▓▒░◕‿‿◕░▒▓█▇▅▂_ (Steve Shasta), Sunday, 18 April 2010 19:53 (fourteen years ago) link

I can see this - last weds I did 40k return commute and the iphone informed me that I'd burnt off about 1600 calories, which was great. Feeling like I'd been run down by a steamroller two days after - less so (yes, am reeeeaaallllly unfit)

problem chimp (Porkpie), Sunday, 18 April 2010 19:56 (fourteen years ago) link

welp now that i've re-read the *ahem* thread title, well, alcohol is def empty calories. cutting down will also help your liver/kidney which are the two primary organs for clearing lactic acid from your muscles which you'll quickly realize what a beautiful thing that can be.

i eat a lot of crap when i'm on the bike: junky trail mixes, candy (peanut m&ms, raisinettes, yuppie candy bars like clif bars, gatorade, coca-cola, chocolate milk, etc) but i try to limit that stuff to when i'm on the bike.

_▂▅▇█▓▒░◕‿‿◕░▒▓█▇▅▂_ (Steve Shasta), Sunday, 18 April 2010 19:58 (fourteen years ago) link

That's the sort of thing I can get behind. Riding more is more fun and more likely to happen than nutritional privations. GPS says that today I burnt 2274 calories, which is good, possibly more than that as it was freaking cold again today.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Sunday, 18 April 2010 20:02 (fourteen years ago) link

my diet is pretty normal. i dont like candy and sweets really, so that makes that easy. the only fast food i do is chipotle, maybe once a week or every other (no sour cream, no guac, no cheese). i eat red meat maybe once or twice a quarter. i get fowl or fish maybe 5 nights a week, eat a big salad (no sweet or ranchy dressings) or two daily. i eat shit loads of carbs, i am breadaholic. lots of rice. lots of pasta. im big on nectarines, berries, and granny smiths apples, but im not a big fruit person (bananas ok, dislike melon and grapes). i think cuttys right about riding. ride lots, dont pig out. my weight is really only variable wrt how much im riding. if im not, im 175ish, if i am its 165ish, and if im really racing its 160ish.

ah, i get a bottle or two of wine/week. no beer unless its really hot and it sounds irresistable.

on the bike if im gettin a knock, its coke usually.

the keys to kingdom are yours

fat mantis (Hunt3r), Sunday, 18 April 2010 20:12 (fourteen years ago) link

Ed, just a thought: I was told to avoid "bike drinks" (except for unsweetened coffee) on a lot of rides early in the training cycle and just stick to water. When I talk about eating crap on the bike that's a more later development rather than early in the training cycle. YMMV with this though.

_▂▅▇█▓▒░◕‿‿◕░▒▓█▇▅▂_ (Steve Shasta), Monday, 19 April 2010 22:31 (fourteen years ago) link

I tend to go 3:1 water to OJ, maybe a little bit of salt if it is hot. The OJ makes me drink it, I tend to be much better hydrated when I add it. Not a fan of gatorade, lucozade, crystal light or any artificial tastes really. Not a fan of sweet tea/coffee.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Tuesday, 20 April 2010 00:32 (fourteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...



"In The Tricky Master (1999), Stephen Chow's apprentice beats an overweight card sharp in a "fixed" high-stakes poker game. When taunted, the card sharp jumps onto the playing table and defeats Chow's deaf, cross-dressing bodyguard with a "long lost kung fu" called "Fat Mantis", which is the "most powerful...and kills without blood." (Note the card sharp’s shadow cast upon the wall in the shape of an overweight mantis with a big round belly.) In the end, Stephen Chow sprays the card sharp with a can of insecticide. He falls to the ground dead with his hands and legs held into the air like a bug."

_▂▅▇█▓▒░◕‿‿◕░▒▓█▇▅▂_ (Steve Shasta), Friday, 7 May 2010 04:40 (fourteen years ago) link

Haha Hunt3r, this is what I ate today:

1 handful of almonds
salmon avocado roll
16 oz of thai noodles
2 bottles of cytomax/h2o
1 clif bar
1 banana
1 12oz package of trail mix
1 odwalla protein monster (33g protein)
1 rockstar energy drink
1 gu
2 eggrolls
2 fried wontons
12 oz beef broccoli
12 oz kung pao chicken
4 oz of fried rice
2 fortune cookies
2 servings of recoverite
probably 8-10 glasses of water

_▂▅▇█▓▒░◕‿‿◕░▒▓█▇▅▂_ (Steve Shasta), Wednesday, 12 May 2010 06:37 (fourteen years ago) link

was this on the bike??

i'm a touch under six feet tall and 86-ish kilos at the mo (@ 190 pounds iirc?) so i could do with dropping some, but i could also do with extra time on the bike, tbh. i commute to work now but that's only a 20 min trip each way so obvs it's not going to build base especially well.

erotic geometry (haitch), Wednesday, 12 May 2010 07:43 (fourteen years ago) link

I guess I could do this on the nutrition nazis thread but I am lazy and don't want to read all the history.

the trick to losing weight--don't be fucking lazy. read the thread.

cutty, Wednesday, 12 May 2010 14:33 (fourteen years ago) link

you'll watch the pounds come flying off, ask homosexual II.

cutty, Wednesday, 12 May 2010 14:34 (fourteen years ago) link

*respect* shasta.

fat mantis (Hunt3r), Wednesday, 12 May 2010 15:21 (fourteen years ago) link

a "long lost kung fu" called "Fat Mantis", which is the "most powerful...and kills without blood."


erotic geometry (haitch), Monday, 24 May 2010 01:04 (fourteen years ago) link

ask me too, I dropped two stone

cozen, Monday, 24 May 2010 10:15 (fourteen years ago) link

Tell me more,

I'm down over a kilo since I started this thread, mainly through piling on the miles and more beans less rice and less takeout.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Monday, 24 May 2010 15:32 (fourteen years ago) link

uh read the thread

cutty, Monday, 24 May 2010 15:41 (fourteen years ago) link

four months pass...

nutrition plan right on fat mantis fat ass


my stomach is full of anger. and pie. (Hunt3r), Saturday, 25 September 2010 21:47 (thirteen years ago) link


Vermarc and Ketel One? Dopppppe

Fartbritz Sootzveti (Steve Shasta), Sunday, 26 September 2010 00:01 (thirteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Really interesting read, some pretty big surprises (well not for us pastry/junk food lovers):


Fartbritz Sootzveti (Steve Shasta), Sunday, 10 October 2010 01:11 (thirteen years ago) link

thx, that _is_ interesting. the tea thing is sorta amazing to me. 1.2 liters of tea a day?! with whole milk. hmm.

my stomach is full of anger. and pie. (Hunt3r), Sunday, 10 October 2010 02:33 (thirteen years ago) link

yes, and very little water. in kenya.

Fartbritz Sootzveti (Steve Shasta), Sunday, 10 October 2010 02:47 (thirteen years ago) link

saw this commercial and lolled.


jaxon, Monday, 11 October 2010 05:00 (thirteen years ago) link

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