Peyton Manning Productions Script Meeting

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ive harbored a long time distaste for indianapolis colts quarterback peyton manning. his inane flapping at line, his stupid clayface, his annual choking. i always just assumed id hate him his whole career and then hate him more once he moved on to broadcasting. but something funny happened along the way... he became my favorite comedic actor.

now im worried that hell go into broadcast not because i hate him but because itll prevent his feature film career from flourishing like it should. we need to get some scripts together so he can transition smoothly into a comedy titan.

this is his best work to date imo:

so lets hear your pitches ilnf. peytons destiny is in our hands. next stop HOLLYWOOD.

btw plz no eli appearances. were trying to build a strong brand here and lol manning brothers isnt gonna cut it over the long haul. and while elis decent at press conferences hes not a v good actor.

ice cr?m, Monday, 19 January 2009 03:43 (ten years ago) link

this is going to require a lot of thought on my part before i can fully contribute, i feel like -- i don't want to toss out lame ideas, straw grasping. i think something involving mystery-solving would be good but i have to figure out the right angle.

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 19 January 2009 03:49 (ten years ago) link

haha yah i was thinking hed be good in a turner and hooch type scenario - maybe it could be a parrot instead of a dog tho

ice cr?m, Monday, 19 January 2009 03:57 (ten years ago) link

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp127/deanofsomething/missupeyton.jpg

immediately made me think of this

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 19 January 2009 04:00 (ten years ago) link

Peyton & Polly

^likes black girls (HI DERE), Monday, 19 January 2009 04:00 (ten years ago) link

(no aniston)

^likes black girls (HI DERE), Monday, 19 January 2009 04:02 (ten years ago) link

i think he'd be perfect in a remake of mr. blandings builds his dream house.

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 19 January 2009 04:10 (ten years ago) link

My favorite thing was the SNL United Way thing where he starts pegging kids with footballs and yelling at them to try harder. I feel like the best angle for his comedic talents is also to play off his natural absurd competitiveness. How one best does that, I do not know.

C-L, Monday, 19 January 2009 05:18 (ten years ago) link

It would be funny watching Peyton break down film of his cousin before having to play him in ping pong before a family gathering.

earlnash, Monday, 19 January 2009 05:53 (ten years ago) link

I think a freaky friday-style body-switching scenario has strong potential but I can't decide exactly how it should play out

georgeous gorge (bernard snowy), Monday, 19 January 2009 10:09 (ten years ago) link

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp127/deanofsomething/missupeyton.jpghttp://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp127/deanofsomething/missupeyton.jpghttp://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp127/deanofsomething/missupeyton.jpg

an absurdist buddy cop picture starring peyton and the san diego chicken - is that too far out for a first feature - or is it elevated ace venture style brilliant ???

ice cr?m, Monday, 19 January 2009 16:29 (ten years ago) link

Personal Fowl II: Onside Chick

browngenius (brownie), Monday, 19 January 2009 16:47 (ten years ago) link

lollllllllllllll

゙(゚、 。 7 (cankles), Monday, 19 January 2009 16:56 (ten years ago) link

Mr. Manning Goes To Washington

TOMBOT, Monday, 19 January 2009 17:26 (ten years ago) link

Personal Fowl II: Onside Chick

― browngenius (brownie)

omg

Socktor Duperman (k3vin k.), Monday, 19 January 2009 17:27 (ten years ago) link

Peyton is the by-the-book good cop Felix type, and the Chicken is the slovenly bad-cop Oscar type. But by the end of the movie they both learn valuable lessons from each other.

Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Monday, 19 January 2009 17:42 (ten years ago) link

remake of kingpin with peyton in the randy quaid role

congratulations (n/a), Monday, 19 January 2009 17:45 (ten years ago) link

!

゙(゚、 。 7 (cankles), Monday, 19 January 2009 17:45 (ten years ago) link

i think something involving mystery-solving would be good but i have to figure out the right angle.

imo some1 so clueless has no business in the clue business i was thinking of something about a comdey set in a box factory with peyton as the gormless company foreman. needs more work i know...

i'm a black mage, kid. i'll ice you (Lamp), Monday, 19 January 2009 17:48 (ten years ago) link

he's not gormless i'll kill you!

it is v. satisfying to me that a pats fan and erstwhile peyton-hater has been won!

horseshoe, Monday, 19 January 2009 19:30 (ten years ago) link

me too actually, peyton is all right.

NFL RUNOFF miss u plaxico (daria-g), Monday, 19 January 2009 19:45 (ten years ago) link

Alex: a++
loool when did everyne decide they loved peyton
i guess it is just because he is so funny
honestly i think all the manning bros could remake bottle rocket
but somehow with football?
me: wow that is a good idea
i'm reposting that fyi

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 January 2009 00:16 (ten years ago) link

i know it breaks the no eli rule so maybe this will be a later work

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 January 2009 00:17 (ten years ago) link

wow ok i love this idea

horseshoe, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 00:26 (ten years ago) link

who is the dignan?

horseshoe, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 00:26 (ten years ago) link

i dunno, this is the problem - i see pros and cons to each of them in either role. peyton seems a little more like the dignan overall, but some of his lines would be hilarious as said by eli. but overall i think peyton.

cooper is futureman obv

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Tuesday, 20 January 2009 00:52 (ten years ago) link

on the last day of his presidency the outgoing commander in chief pardons every convict in the country. as america erupts into an orgy of chaos peyton a simple country boy until now showing no real leadership skills or ambition convicted of cyber stalking his fav porn star emerges to lead the convict uprising and eventually to teach the nation a thing or two abt life and what it means to be free.

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 21 January 2009 13:51 (ten years ago) link

so hey? i've solved many problems right now. perfect vehicle? a remake of POINT BREAK.

peyton is GARY BUSEY, the dude so obsessed with his job and his theory that he's got no personal life, and everyone ridicules him -- but he's RIGHT. tom brady is KEANU REEVES, the hotshot quarterback who ruined his career with a knee injury (that recurs throughout the film, including while fucking a hot chick) who goes into fighting crime with PEYTON. seriously, think about this, guys. patrick swayze is still PATRICK SWAYZE cos fuck yeah, america.

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Saturday, 24 January 2009 05:01 (ten years ago) link

i like it, i feel where ur cummin from, but what is the point of point break without keanu. there is no point that is w3hat!!!!!!! also putting peyton in a role where he won't be wearing a nixon mask and robbing banks is, i feel, a misstep.

also let's face it the point of the movie is (iirc) surfing homo love between keanu and swayze, having peyton and brady in those roles is a lot more thematically appropriate. maybe boomer esiason could be bloated, insane, washed up vietnam vet busey.

゙(゚、 。 7 (cankles), Saturday, 24 January 2009 06:18 (ten years ago) link

yeah i see that argument too - we can go ahead and switch these roles around, i think.

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Sunday, 25 January 2009 00:54 (ten years ago) link

perhaps he can be in a Baby Safe Haven commercial

゙(゚、 。 7 (cankles), Sunday, 25 January 2009 01:10 (ten years ago) link

itd be cool to set the point break remake in a different culture like instead of surfing... hipsters or whatever

ice cr?m, Sunday, 25 January 2009 16:22 (ten years ago) link

jhoshea are you burt_stanton?

horseshoe, Sunday, 25 January 2009 18:03 (ten years ago) link

hipster_studies are an important issue in todays world

ice cr?m, Sunday, 25 January 2009 18:42 (ten years ago) link

itd be cool to set the point break remake in a different culture like instead of surfing... hipsters or whatever

― ice cr?m, Sunday, January 25, 2009 10:22 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

btw you could totally do this w/bike messengers! party hardy/adrenaline "culture" w/very real criminal element

i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Sunday, 25 January 2009 18:48 (ten years ago) link

omg i should totally write this script

i like to fart and i am crazy (gbx), Sunday, 25 January 2009 18:48 (ten years ago) link

yes thats an excellent scenario - lol @ peyton going undercover as a bike messenger

ice cr?m, Sunday, 25 January 2009 18:56 (ten years ago) link

what about something that co-stars shaq?

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Saturday, 31 January 2009 00:34 (ten years ago) link

itd be cool to set the point break remake in a different culture like instead of surfing... hipsters or whatever

― ice cr?m, Sunday, January 25, 2009 11:22 AM (5 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hey i dont know if you were asleep through 2001 or what but you may have missed the touchstone movie of my generation, the fast and the furious, starring paul walker and vincent diesel

max, Saturday, 31 January 2009 00:40 (ten years ago) link

would rather see lebron w/ peyton in a movie than shaq. i keep meaning to start a lebron vs. peyton in terms of commerical acting ability poll. i dont think any other pro athlete even comes close to those two.

max, Saturday, 31 January 2009 00:41 (ten years ago) link

a little thing called 9/11 distracted us, sorry!!

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Saturday, 31 January 2009 00:41 (ten years ago) link

the real generational divide--for people like you and joe, 9/11 changed everything--for people like me, the fast and the furious changed everything

max, Saturday, 31 January 2009 00:42 (ten years ago) link

i'm sorry, 9/11 changed nothing for me, my mind had already been blown by point break is the thing.

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Saturday, 31 January 2009 00:48 (ten years ago) link

max otm re lebron and f&f / ally otm re 9/11 & point break

there is no conflict its all ∞

ice cr?m, Saturday, 31 January 2009 01:36 (ten years ago) link

so i think the best scenario would be lebron in the keanu/weller role and peyon as swayze/diesel in the world of high stakes gambling. the kind of guys who actually beat the house in the spots where its possible the sports book poker etc. we wont lean too heavy on the poker cause thats just lame its more abt the vibe of dudes living in casino penthouses wearing expensive tacky suits consorting w/strippers etc. manning is the leader of a gambling consortium the feds think must be up to no good cause "their profits use to be in the standard 1-3% now theyre through the roof up to maybe as much as 15-20% but we cant be sure since theyre laundering cash all over the world the caymans belarus dubai you name it".

ice cr?m, Saturday, 31 January 2009 02:22 (ten years ago) link

r u ok

mullah mangenius (brownie), Saturday, 31 January 2009 02:50 (ten years ago) link

remake of 'i am sam' with peyton in the penn role

microsoft and I decided to do some t-shirts (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 31 January 2009 18:03 (ten years ago) link

never go full retard

ice cr?m, Saturday, 31 January 2009 18:06 (ten years ago) link

agreed, that would be an awesome title for it.

microsoft and I decided to do some t-shirts (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 31 January 2009 19:49 (ten years ago) link

lol

his cellphone swindled into the hands of a coy Peyton Manning.

i guess that article could have made the pro bowl sound less gay but i'm not sure how.

horseshoe, Friday, 6 February 2009 00:14 (ten years ago) link

uh, more gay, i meant

horseshoe, Friday, 6 February 2009 00:14 (ten years ago) link

how would it have affected peyton's legacy if he had been complicit in the accidental death of jay cutler? he probably would've built a school in his name leading to peter king having a heart attack

your infinity in you is mad lifted (J0rdan S.), Friday, 6 February 2009 00:16 (ten years ago) link

bloodiest hands in the nfl

WATERSLIDE MANSION (ice cr?m), Friday, 6 February 2009 00:40 (ten years ago) link

"It was a bad audible on our part," Manning said. "I think we were thinking right, trying to get the cellphone. Then we realize, the guy gets insulin shots. We missed that."

^^ this guy is always on game

John Hyman (misspelled intentionally) (omar little), Friday, 6 February 2009 00:59 (ten years ago) link

http://www.cornerstonestrategiesllc.com/blog/2009/02/peyton-manning-qb-indy-colts/

“I admire you in the way you’ve handled yourself on and off the field. Best of luck in your post-NFL career”
These are on some of the handwritten notes that Peyton Manning sends other NFL players on their retirement .... players that have NOT played with him, they have played AGAINST him. He has sent more than a dozen of these letters. He handwrites every single one of them ... he believes it says “it’s from my heart”.

(via patsfans.com - "Maybe they don't have email in Indiana..." "I wonder if he will read the letters in some new commercial or something.")

NFL RUNOFF miss u plaxico (daria-g), Friday, 6 February 2009 21:54 (ten years ago) link

If he starts doing this to players who haven't retired, but who he hates, I will like him even more. "Dear Rodney Harrison..."

C-L, Friday, 6 February 2009 22:13 (ten years ago) link

he should send one to tom brady :):):):)

John Hyman (misspelled intentionally) (omar little), Friday, 6 February 2009 22:15 (ten years ago) link

I wonder if he'll send one to Pacman Jones.

Alex in SF, Friday, 6 February 2009 22:23 (ten years ago) link

this guy has written OVER 12 LETTERS with HIS OWN HAND

WATERSLIDE MANSION (ice cr?m), Friday, 6 February 2009 22:36 (ten years ago) link

P, E, Y, T, O, N, M, A, I, G.. what are the other two?

This is a serious inquiry and there may be reprecussions (forksclovetofu), Friday, 6 February 2009 23:56 (ten years ago) link

L would be one

John Hyman (misspelled intentionally) (omar little), Friday, 6 February 2009 23:57 (ten years ago) link

Right, and F.

This is a serious inquiry and there may be reprecussions (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 7 February 2009 00:00 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

we are here to celebrate, worship and adore (daria-g), Tuesday, 24 March 2009 11:01 (ten years ago) link

peyton's gonna be a hysterical in-booth guy when/if he sustains a career ending injury.

WOOKIE JOHNSON (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 24 March 2009 14:16 (ten years ago) link

im taking peyton straight to hollywood just fyi

ice cr?m, Tuesday, 24 March 2009 18:26 (ten years ago) link

Mr. Manning Goes To Washington

u know he does kinda remind me of jimmy stewart. remake of harvey?

johnny crunch, Tuesday, 24 March 2009 18:43 (ten years ago) link

six months pass...

based on these sony commercials peyton and JT need to get in a movie together and i mean quick

Bobby Wo (max), Wednesday, 21 October 2009 01:01 (nine years ago) link

guys remember that time when peyton tried to kill jay cutler?

everyone kills people (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Wednesday, 21 October 2009 16:02 (nine years ago) link

"It was a bad audible on our part," Manning said. "I think we were thinking right, trying to get the cellphone. Then we realize, the guy gets insulin shots. We missed that."

<3 <3 <3

horseshoe, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 16:04 (nine years ago) link

three years pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSG7FeGxRwY

turds (Hungry4Ass), Monday, 29 April 2013 21:06 (six years ago) link

luke bryan looks like jay cutler

brb buying poppers w/my employee discount (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 30 April 2013 01:00 (six years ago) link

two years pass...

so...

lute bro (brimstead), Monday, 15 February 2016 07:25 (three years ago) link

rong thread :(

lute bro (brimstead), Monday, 15 February 2016 07:26 (three years ago) link


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