Tom Brady Can Suck My Dick

1) He has an enormous porn collection and no problem telling ESPN he has it (hellooooo ILX-type dude)
2) He likes Coldplay

From points 1 & 2, I say horseshoe OTM.

ew, he TOLD ESPN THAT? man, can't we just return to the days when everyone pretended pro football was a "family sport"? INAPPROPRIATE!

and yeah, I am also a girl and have frequently been mystified by the "Brady is a hottie mchothot" press he gets. maybe he's ostensibly straight dudes' idea of what's hot, but he leaves me cold.

-- Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyza...) (webmail), January 3rd, 2006 2:11 PM. (allyzay) (link) (admin) (userip)"

can we replace all of ally's posts with this

"Tom Brady is a good QB, but I think he is really the Nu-Brett Farve for all of the talking heads, as he is TOUGH and plays the GAME THE RIGHT WAY. No sireee, Tommyboy doesn't need to cheat and run no huddle offenses calling plays at the line, he just gets in there and gets dirty. Brady led the league in yards, but he still only finished sixth in QB Rating. Brady is also a screen passer, the Pats have never really had much of a deep strike passing game. The dink and dunk game is effective, but it isn't nearly as cool and throwing da' bomb."

(conveniently ignoring all my posts in this thread~~~)

that's rediculous. the pats haven't used the screen in 3 years. they employed it when they realized they had 86 year old antoine smith running the ball and that throwing a screen for 4 yards was better than the 2.2 yards they could get out of their running back. pats got away from it when they acquired dillon. they drafted deion branch and bethel johnson to stretch the field then added gabriel and chad jackson to take their places on the roster. i think brady's ypa was maybe a half yard less than manning last year?

I read this as a riff on the way commentators talk about Brady. The play by play guy will say what just happened, and then John Q. Color Schmuck will say one of the above random comments about Brady and the Pats offensive scheme, as if that's what they do all the time and what makes them so great.

bad nfl announcers, nothing shocking there.
fox had brian baldinger matched up with a relatively sober pat summerall (and i swear to god i thought i'd remembered reading that he'd died) for the bears/49ers game this weekend. my favorite moment was when summerall said "You have to give the 49ers credit." followed by 19 seconds of dead air from baldinger.

a) Finding the stadium
b) Wearing their jock straps inside their uniforms
c) Losing by only 31
d) All of the above

time to take the keys away from pat.

ALERT: Dick Stockton is one good fart away from being totally in the booth as well.

i like how nfl network has replaced Playbook or whatever it was called with brian baldinger chilling out in his office.

Filed Under: Exclusives!

splashnews_ihpla010905f_01.jpg
27th Street in Chelsea, also known as club row, suddenly turned into Wisteria Lane on Saturday night when the police closed the block down (and we're not sure why). While chaos prevailed outside, inside the confines of Bungalow 8 a coterie of celebs mingled (or attempted to) with each other.

Seen inside the club: Paris Hilton, Tom Brady, Greg Littley, Scott Sartiano, Richie Akiva and Mary-Kate Olsen.

What exactly is MK doing in New York? Weren't we under the impression that she was going to be going to school in California this fall? I guess the tabs were wrong.

"Mary-Kate was there without the Giant," a source tells us. "She was hanging out with her artsy friends and at one point Tom Brady came up to her and was trying to hit on her."

Tom Brady and Mary-Kate Olsen??? Maybe he thought she has a thing for taller guys?!

"Mary-Kate was so not interested, and at one point she told Tom, 'Do you want a drink? The cocktail waitress is over there!'" Meow. We are lovin' the new bitchy MK!

The Patriots quarterback must be newly single - or have an open relationship with actress Bridget Moynahan - because earlier in the evening the pretty football player was seen getting quite cozy with an unidentified woman at the Maritime.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ lol lol

i expect people to explain ALL of these images to me, btw

college students sometimes ingest drugs.

that's all i got.