Miami Dolphins Thread of Despair

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I have been a Dolphins fan since about age 8, when I used to watch with my grandpa. And despite the fact that this franchise's fanbase has been rather "self-hating" over the last decade or so, keep in mind from 1989-2003 we didn't have to suffer through one losing season, even if there were several years where Miami faded and made us lose our tempers.

Hell, from 1976-2003, Miami suffered through only TWO sub-.500 seasons. That's pretty consistent!

2004 was painful because it was unfamiliar--last year was painful because it was unexpected. But the thing that scares me the most is that now, in 2007--it's starting to feel NORMAL. I miss the days when wins didn't feel so distant.

Last Sunday was crushing because the defense finally showed up for the first time all season, but Cleo Lemon did his best Barney Phife impersonation--the guy just cannot evade a blitz to save his life.

I guess I'm just trying to figure out what I can actually look forward to this year. Every team to start 0-9 since 1990 has not won more than 3 games. Ronnie Brown, the sole saving grace, who was having a Pro Bowl season, is gone.

I'm guessing right now John Beck being named starter, and seeing what he can do, is really all that is left. And I'm not one of those simpletons who thinks it's better for Miami to lose out to get a higher draft pick. Honestly, there are so many holes in our secondary, and our defensive line is so old, I think we need to trade down and acquire more picks ANYWAY.

Anyway, any other Dolphins fans here?

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Thursday, 15 November 2007 00:05 (sixteen years ago) link

oh how the world turns.

J0rdan S., Thursday, 15 November 2007 00:11 (sixteen years ago) link

i think beck is the truth but we'll see i guess. he better have monster balls if he wants to go into philly and splash.

J0rdan S., Thursday, 15 November 2007 00:12 (sixteen years ago) link

their d ain't that great anymore though.

J0rdan S., Thursday, 15 November 2007 00:12 (sixteen years ago) link


rogermexico., Thursday, 15 November 2007 01:19 (sixteen years ago) link

yea the D's unraveling has been unreal this year

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Thursday, 15 November 2007 02:49 (sixteen years ago) link

i was talking about the iggles but fins too.

J0rdan S., Thursday, 15 November 2007 17:07 (sixteen years ago) link

I don't know how well Joey Porter is playing for the Dolphins, but the Steelers are definitely not missing him.

earlnash, Friday, 16 November 2007 02:44 (sixteen years ago) link

i think beck is the truth

Hope you're right. Why do you think Beck's so good? Can't be Cam/Cam's opinion that's swaying you, is it?

Daniel, Esq., Friday, 16 November 2007 04:11 (sixteen years ago) link

Wait wait, BJO is a Dolphins fan?

Like I've always said, BJO is all right.

Daniel, Esq., Friday, 16 November 2007 04:14 (sixteen years ago) link

Yea...I hate the fairweather fans around here though. On one occasion, at the Bills-Fins game in 2005, the one we came back from 21 down, I was at a bar watching and at halftime this Fins fan gets up and goes "omg I can't watch this no more, here, you are welcome to my beers" and gave his beers to a Bills fan!

stuff like that kills me!

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Saturday, 17 November 2007 17:22 (sixteen years ago) link

ok i have on no authority that john beck is good. he just seems really... together... i guess.

i will be back home in miami watching the game (first full one i've been able to see this year) and will be reporting back to this thread frequently.

my prediction:

15-24 210 2 TD 2 INT

J0rdan S., Sunday, 18 November 2007 08:10 (sixteen years ago) link

I had a dream last night that Miami won this game.

The problems with this dream:

Chris Chambers was still on the team.

The score was 9-4 despite two reported Miami touchdowns.

So at least if we don't win for real, I'll always have the dream!

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Sunday, 18 November 2007 14:14 (sixteen years ago) link

On another note, J0rdan, what are your thoughts on Ricky Williams? Personally, I think Miami has the absolute right not to take him back, but I want him back, for this year only. Just to save us from potential embarassment and improve depth at RB--look at how Chatman was overused last week in the first half.

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Sunday, 18 November 2007 14:17 (sixteen years ago) link

i have mad love for ricky and would love to see him back, but i would understand if they just cut him loose. i think him + ronnie would be a really great 1-2.

J0rdan S., Sunday, 18 November 2007 20:20 (sixteen years ago) link

seen a lot of really good htings from beck today. mostly that he hasn't locked in on one reciever on any of his throws. he clearly can make plays and make throws and obv he will grow. the fact that he looks around @ his options before his throws shows a lot of composure and i think for young guys the ability to be under control is just almost more important as being able to make the throws, which will come in time.

J0rdan S., Sunday, 18 November 2007 20:23 (sixteen years ago) link

Yea, what I saw from Beck is sort of what I expected for a first time rookie.

Sucks that our offense was shut out but I was happy to see Ginn finally get his return.

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Monday, 19 November 2007 01:00 (sixteen years ago) link

If -- and this is a big if, given the questionable moves by this franchise -- the Dolphins can capitalize on their cap space and draft picks in the offseason, there is hope for the future.

Daniel, Esq., Monday, 19 November 2007 01:47 (sixteen years ago) link

Yea...ultimately I'd like to see us trade down for more 1st/2nd round picks since it's obvious that there is talent to be found all over the draft, hell Zach Thomas was a 5th rounder who was supposed to play primarily special teams.

It just kills me to watch the team Miami throws out there every Sunday. I'm not sold on Cameron, granted he's a first timer coach but the team never looks prepared, and he cost them a timeout on that 4th down gofer.

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Monday, 19 November 2007 01:58 (sixteen years ago) link

Yea...ultimately I'd like to see us trade down for more 1st/2nd round picks since it's obvious that there is talent to be found all over the draft.

I'm torn. On the one hand, I agree that Miami needs help everywhere, which cuts in favor of having more picks (not just the overall No. 1). On the other hand, I'm not sure I trust the team's management to make good decisions in the draft, which cuts in favor of selecting the overall No. 1, who may be more of a sure thing (or, put differently, making the draft mistake-proof, even for possibly inept management).

Daniel, Esq., Monday, 19 November 2007 15:47 (sixteen years ago) link

i'm with daniel, esq. on this one. i remember when the pats had all these extra picks from the jets from when they signed parcells and curtis martin, they blew every goddamn pick and went from the superbowl to the outhouse in four years.

chicago kevin, Monday, 19 November 2007 16:01 (sixteen years ago) link

i think they take the #1 and pick glenn dorsey, the DT from LSU. it's a safe pick and it immediately helps out the dolphins most glaring hole: run defense. i guess it wouldn't be a real spectacular pick, but i honestly thing we have a good nucleus with beck + brown + ginn (or else we have to believe we do and pick accordingly). i'm not sure trading down is the right answer, because after finally getting to watch a full game, i think this team is a few players away from competition rahter than say 8 or 9 players away.

J0rdan S., Monday, 19 November 2007 17:07 (sixteen years ago) link

and along with what daniel and chi kev said, if we get this bundle of picks and go on and squander every single one, we are beyond screwed, whereas if we take a pretty sure pick @ 1 (a julius peppers type pick rather than, say, a david carr one) then i think that goes a long way towards getting back up to respectability.

the only instance in which i'd advocate trading down is if they could still get a pick inside the top 5. i'm not necessarily sure i would have confidence in these guys picking @ #9 again this year.

J0rdan S., Monday, 19 November 2007 17:09 (sixteen years ago) link

Wow. What does this say about our collective confidence -- or lack thereof -- in the team's management (or, at minimum, it's talent evaluators)?

Daniel, Esq., Monday, 19 November 2007 17:20 (sixteen years ago) link

probably not a lot, though i guess i'll go on record as being in support of both the ginn and beck picks. there are some other young guys on the team who i really like— lehan, rodrick wright, the somoan center— but i don't know, i'd hate to see them take the equivalent of a ginn reach and have it not pan out (which i think ginn has and will).

the main problem w/ the ginn pick is that ginn + beck have to be compared to brady quinn, and god knows when he is gonna start playing.

J0rdan S., Monday, 19 November 2007 17:43 (sixteen years ago) link

the main problem w/ the ginn pick is that ginn + beck have to be compared to brady quinn, and god knows when he is gonna start playing.

That's right. The other nagging problem I have with the Dolphins is the head coach. When I hear him -- with all his equivocating and focusing on the positives -- I think, "Uhh, a prototype coordinator." That is, the type of coach who acted as a buffer between players and the scary head coach, e.g., Dave Wannstedt, Norv Turner. These aren't the kind of coaches I want as the head coach, though. Notwithstanding notable exceptions (Tony Dungy, a great coach), I want a head coach who scares the players. I'm not at all convinced Cam/Cam is that type.

Daniel, Esq., Monday, 19 November 2007 17:53 (sixteen years ago) link

Wannstedt and Turner are examples of who I think are "prototype coordinators." Sorry, I should have been clearer.

Daniel, Esq., Monday, 19 November 2007 17:54 (sixteen years ago) link

i have confidence in cam, or rather i am willing to give him a few years. i've gotten to the point in my football watching life whre i've about stopped trying to figure out who will be a good coach or why coach x is a good coach. i don't doubt that cam knows his Xs and Os, but doesn't norv turner also? but what do we make of mike tomlin then? what about romeo crennel? why are the latter two having successful seasons— one right off the bat and the other in what probably would have been his final year.

nick saban was a notrious my way or the highway guy and all that got the dolphins is where they are now. imo, what this team really needs is to bring in a coach with a proven track record, something like what the cowboys did w/ parcells. for us, maybe it could be a cowher or a holmgren or something. wayne definitely has the money and the desire for the team to win.

J0rdan S., Monday, 19 November 2007 18:03 (sixteen years ago) link

imo, what this team really needs is to bring in a coach with a proven track record, something like what the cowboys did w/ parcells. for us, maybe it could be a cowher or a holmgren or something. wayne definitely has the money and the desire for the team to win.

Yes. I'd happily dump Cameron in favor of Cowher or Parcells. But which of these top-notch, proven coaches wants to take a chance here?

Daniel, Esq., Monday, 19 November 2007 18:06 (sixteen years ago) link

not only would bringing in a proven coach give us the ability (or the confidence, i guess) to be able to point at their record and say, "yes, this coach has won X games and been to the playoffs and the super bowl), but it would knock the dolphins out of this rut where we as fans are basically in this perpetual three year "rebuilding" window where we are supposed to sit and wait to see if the newest coach pans out. hiring a proven coach would— i'm assuming— move the franchise immediately in the right direction, and besides that being good on the field, it would take away this awful nagging uncertainty that we've had to deal with for 4 or 5 years now.

J0rdan S., Monday, 19 November 2007 18:07 (sixteen years ago) link

i think they'd have to show that we have players worth coaching: beck would have to show that he is a viable starter, ronnie would have to stay healthy, ginn would have to break out. we would have to shore up the defense. but bringing in someone would probably happen down the line, and these things i just mentioned would also have to happen down the line. then again, i truly believe that this team is just 2 or 3 or 4 players away.

J0rdan S., Monday, 19 November 2007 18:09 (sixteen years ago) link

then again, i truly believe that this team is just 2 or 3 or 4 players away.

I wish I agreed with you there.

Daniel, Esq., Monday, 19 November 2007 18:11 (sixteen years ago) link

i guess when i say that i mean 2 or 3 or 4 missing players, meaning with the growth/improvement of beck/ginn/hagan the return of ronnie/zach and the improvement of the o-line. i think we're really missing a good defensive back (will allen would be a great #2 corner), a great, young defensive lineman and maybe something else i'm not thinking of (maybe a tackle or something idk).

J0rdan S., Monday, 19 November 2007 18:16 (sixteen years ago) link

what about romeo crennel?

he'd been with belichick since 1991 until he got the browns job, i'm pretty sure he picked up a thing or two about motivating players. plus he cleaned house his first year there, i thought i read somewhere that by opening day of his second season there were only 8 players on the team from opening day of butch davis' last year.

chicago kevin, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:22 (sixteen years ago) link

Shhhh . . . Ricky May Play Monday

Daniel, Esq., Thursday, 22 November 2007 02:39 (sixteen years ago) link


J0rdan S., Thursday, 22 November 2007 02:55 (sixteen years ago) link

Ricky probably gives Miami its only chance of winning--controlling the clock and the possibility for big plays.

But, then again, he was extremely rusty in his first game back in 2005, when he had taken a year off. I expect a lot more rust this time around--and if Chatman isn't good to go, that hurts things a bit.

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Thursday, 22 November 2007 15:33 (sixteen years ago) link

Must play the hand you're dealt.

Have Lemons? Make Lemonade.

Daniel, Esq., Thursday, 22 November 2007 17:19 (sixteen years ago) link

wtf, another lightning delay? this never happens! that's twice this year

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 01:33 (sixteen years ago) link

Have Lemons? Make Lemonade.

I would kind of love the orange-and-teal paper bag to become the cheesehead of south florida

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 01:35 (sixteen years ago) link

dammit you're letting him complete all these passes in THIS field condition?

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 02:00 (sixteen years ago) link


Bo Jackson Overdrive, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 02:01 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm not watching the game now, but -- from the EPSN NFL GameCast -- it looks ugly. First Downs: Steelers six, Dolphins none. Total Yards: Steelers 80, Dolphins 11. Total Plays: Steelers 16, Dolphins 3.

B.A.D. bad.

Daniel, Esq., Tuesday, 27 November 2007 02:15 (sixteen years ago) link

the field has no lines

jhøshea, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 02:40 (sixteen years ago) link

lol the other announcers wanting no part of kornhiesers weed-neutral rant

jhøshea, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 02:43 (sixteen years ago) link

well it's only ugly because of the field.

and I can't say it's HURTING the dolphins. But Beck still looks nervous. But Cam is doing some stupid playcalling. the one time Beck threw on first down it set up a first down a play later. Let him throw more. You're 0-10. are you really afraid of ...gasp...a turnover?

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 03:04 (sixteen years ago) link

Yeah. I hated the Dolphins lethargic last drive. They should have hurried to the line and let Beck throw. It's just not a sufficient moral victory to go to halftime as an 0 -- 10 team in a zero-zero tie.

Daniel, Esq., Tuesday, 27 November 2007 03:10 (sixteen years ago) link

yea I was miffed about that too. Guess this is the first ever conservative 0-10 team.

I'm going to the game next week. I really hope I get my money's worth

Bo Jackson Overdrive, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 03:11 (sixteen years ago) link

I didn't know that Miami had also signed Keith Traylor. That is one old defense.

earlnash, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 03:15 (sixteen years ago) link

I think Beck's going to be a pretty good player.

Daniel, Esq., Tuesday, 27 November 2007 03:25 (sixteen years ago) link

Cobbs out for the remainder of the season ;_;

Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 14 October 2009 02:08 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...

I didn't realize Chad Henne compared favorably to other good young NFL quarterbacks at this stage of his career. Not amazing numbers, by any stretch, but pretty good.

Daniel, Esq., Thursday, 26 November 2009 16:05 (fourteen years ago) link

seven months pass...

brandon marshall predicts his best year yet!

hm. miami will be lucky to be 8 -- 8. i think it's more likely we'll be 6 -- 10, and we could start off 1 -- 8.(n.1)

(n.1) first 9 games: buffalo (probably a win), then vikings, jets, patriots, packers, steelers, bengals, ravens, titans (all of which could be losses).

Daniel, Esq., Saturday, 26 June 2010 18:46 (thirteen years ago) link

Don't mope. Assuming Ricky and Ronnie didn't get run into an early grave last season, and that Chad Henne keeps improving, there'll be plenty of opportunity for Marshall to catch bombs in the endzone. That's a tough schedule to open the year, but my position as a rubbernecking Dolphins observer has come very close at this point to being an honest I'm, uh, optimistic?

Johnny Fever, Saturday, 26 June 2010 23:21 (thirteen years ago) link

oh, i'm not moping! i'm still recovering psychologically from the 1 -- 15 season. to me, 8 -- 8 is fantastic.

but i'm not excited about henne as a quarterback. something so . . . bland about him, and this team, to me.

Daniel, Esq., Saturday, 26 June 2010 23:31 (thirteen years ago) link

two years pass...


Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 05:54 (ten years ago) link

If anything, they should've made it perfect like this:

Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 17:52 (ten years ago) link

this is absolutely terrible

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 19:11 (ten years ago) link

yeah horrible news

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 19:13 (ten years ago) link

okay destroy this team now

the pheromones of hot clothing (DJP), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 19:19 (ten years ago) link


Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 20:22 (ten years ago) link

wtf it looks like a passenger plane now fffffuuuuuuuuuu

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 20:28 (ten years ago) link



set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 20:28 (ten years ago) link


Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 20:29 (ten years ago) link

there is so much in football that is NOT awesome

a dolphin in a helmet is awesome. ;_;

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 20:30 (ten years ago) link

Pretty much the fall of the Dolphins comes at the same time the Patriots rose to prominence.

You kind of remember them not being that great with Jimmy Johnson and Dave Wannstedt, but really they were average or a playoff team most of the years through them (at least until Wannstedt's last year).

earlnash, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 21:45 (ten years ago) link

my memory of the Dolphins in the 90s is mostly Brian Cox spitting at the crowd

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 22:02 (ten years ago) link

and now he's a successful assistant coach lol

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 22:03 (ten years ago) link

RIP dolphin wearing another team's helmet.

brownie, Thursday, 28 March 2013 12:22 (ten years ago) link

cannot believe Miami's insensitivity to dolphin head injury risk

Brad C., Thursday, 28 March 2013 12:56 (ten years ago) link

rip best recursive logo

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 28 March 2013 15:25 (ten years ago) link

ugh new logo ugh

I offer about as much diversity as a saltine cracker. (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 3 April 2013 22:36 (ten years ago) link

nine months pass...

Jeff Darlington ‏@JeffDarlington -- —> RT @MiamiDolphins: NEWS: The Miami Dolphins and General Manager Jeff Ireland have mutually agreed to part ways

breaking news.

Daniel, Esq 2, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 23:07 (nine years ago) link

awww i thought this thread was going to be about actual dolphins. Drat.

mean-spirited schadenfreude-loving spewer of sleaze (sunny successor), Tuesday, 7 January 2014 23:19 (nine years ago) link

actual dolphins form a more dynamic football team than the miami dolphins, so . . .

Daniel, Esq 2, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 23:21 (nine years ago) link

good call fins

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 23:21 (nine years ago) link

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ otmfm

Daniel, Esq 2, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 23:23 (nine years ago) link

I heard his mom is a whore

polyphonic, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 23:27 (nine years ago) link

Per Salguero, Ross wanted to hire someone who would have operated at a level above Ireland, holding most if not all of the authority Ireland currently possesses. Though Salguero names no names, many will speculate that Ross wanted to install former Chiefs G.M. Carl Peterson in that role.

Why not just fire the guy, dummy

polyphonic, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 23:44 (nine years ago) link

here's my thought. weeks ago, ross assured ireland he was safe. ross values loyalty and keeping a promise. so here, at this crossroads, he says "i'll honor my promise to keep ireland," but then imposes conditions that prompt ireland to leave. actually savvy, if intentional.

Daniel, Esq 2, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 23:46 (nine years ago) link

but ugh to peterson as "football czar," by the way.

Daniel, Esq 2, Tuesday, 7 January 2014 23:47 (nine years ago) link

once again, the dolphins are the nfl's least-interesting on-the-field product, and the nfl's most-interesting off-the-field product.

January 08, 2014

Armando Salguero

More history, fallout from Ireland vs. DawnJoe

If you've been following my recounting of the dysfunction within the Dolphins late last season you understand why the relationship between general manager Jeff Ireland and coach Joe Philbin was broken. You understand why this team may struggle to hire the most gifted and serious general manager candidate available.

Now let me give you more history. Let me give you more background on the dysfunction to help you understand its genesis.

I already shared what caused the rift between Ireland and Philbin. I blame both parties for that rift. Grown men, professional men, who have the same goal at heart should be able to sit down and have frank discussions about what troubles them about their relationship. Obviously that's in a perfect world.

The Dolphins facility is far from that world.

And part of the problem points directly to executive vice president of football administration Dawn Aponte. It seems that when Bill Parcells hired Aponte to be Miami's capologist in Feb. 2010 he brought in a tough and experienced corporate in-fighter. She is clearly adept at forming alliances. And when she sees a threat, she is well capable of attacking it.

Ireland was a threat to her, according to sources who called me this morning.

Ireland was her boss when she joined the team four years ago. But after Parcells left in October 2010, she lost her chief sponsor. And she wasn't comfortable with Ireland as her supervisor. So soon after Joe Philbin was hired, Aponte decided she and the new coach could bond and that alliance could strengthen each person's position within the organization.

Aponte, club sources say, also found ways to ingratiate herself to owner Stephen Ross. Nothing wrong with that. He's the boss. She would often ask to join Ross on his private jet flights back to New York from home games, often citing a need to handle club business at the league office in New York.

Aponte, a former league and New York Jets employee, apparently used the face time with Ross and the help of Jay Cross, a Related Company president and a former New York Jets president, to convince the owner of her value and how she should not be under Ireland's supervision.

Ireland, seeing this, asked Ross to fire Aponte. Ross didn't go for it and, indeed, after mulling the matter, actually promoted Aponte from Senior VP of Football Operations to her current Executive VP role. And in so doing, Ross doubled Aponte's salary. And got her out from under Ireland's umbrella. And Aponte joined parts of the coach search of 2012 that led to Philbin's hiring after Jeff Fisher turned the Dolphins down cold.

Knowing that Ireland had tried to get her fired, Aponte turned her sights on the GM. The relationship between the two, professional and even cordial in public at league meetings and alike, was a struggle for power behind the scenes.

Aponte, strengthened by her alliance with Philbin, had been winning that struggle for quite some time. She made herself very visible, attending practically every practice. She met with Philbin to advise on how to handle the media before every weekday press conference -- that meeting sometimes taking longer than the actual press conference. She attended the coach's show and made sure the questions were positive and gave Philbin an opportunity to shine. She edited the videos the team posted on its website of the Philbin postgame speech to the players.

(Unfortunately for Philbin, she didn't think to cut out the part where coach needed to read off index cards to deliver his address).

The bottom line is now Philbin and Aponte -- fresh off a victory over the last general manager -- want to make sure the next general manager is not truly empowered. The last thing they want is for Ross to hire a guy who will have the power to hire and perhaps fire Philbin and or Aponte.

They want a puppet person that will merely evaluate talent and handle the draft and keep his mouth shut and business to himself.

But as I've shared already the best candidates for a general manager job may not bite because 1. They don't want to get involved in the Dolphins office politics and/or 2. They want to have the power and autonomy to bring their own people and perhaps get rid of the current people if that's what they think is best.

So keep a close eye on what is about to happen next with this hire. If Ross hires a strong GM with authority to hire and fire Philbin and/or Aponte, then the duo has lost favor. But if Ross promotes Aponte to GM or hires someone who is merely a personnel guy but not the general manager in power as well as title then the DawnJoe has won and runs the show.

There is a third option and that's the czar approach the Dolphins have used before, as well, with that person over everyone. But that's for another day.

Stay tuned.

Armando Salguero

Would Gamble, others join snakepit hijinks?

The leading contender for the Dolphins vacant general manager position?

Tom Gamble, the vice president of player personnel for the Philadelphia Eagles.

And if the Dolphins were a stable, well-led, functional franchise, I'd say they would have a great chance to get him. Gamble is eager to be contacted and would be happy to listen to the Dolphins, according to a source.

But ...

As I write in my column in today's Miami Herald the Dolphins are not exactly a model franchise. The Dolphins had issues internally part of the 2013 season, with sniping and backstabbing going on at the highest levels of the football operations.

Jeff Ireland vs. Joe Philbin.

Dawn Aponte vs. Jeff Ireland.

Aponte and Philbin forming a bond and alliance that ultimately helped bring down Miami's general manager. And whatever you think of that -- be you glad Ireland is finally gone or sad because you don't believe professionals should engage in such snakepit hijinks -- the drama matters.

Because word of the drama is already making the NFL rounds. People in franchises like the Washington, places with issues of their own, are aware of the issues the Dolphins had this year. I know this for a fact.

And the problem with that is simple: If Stephen Ross wants to hire the best and brightest individual as his next general manager, will he be able to gloss over his team's reputation to get that guy? Will he be able to provide assurances that the next GM won't be fighting an alliance of the coach and executive VP for football administration like the last GM had to?

Another thing:

The Philbin-Aponte axis is almost certainly going to work toward getting a weak GM to the Dolphins. The last thing Philbin wants is for Ross to give the next GM the power to fire him after the 2014 season is over. So Philbin wants his pal Aponte over that GM. He wants that hire to be just a talent evaluator with the title of GM but not the full weight of power that title suggests.

And again ... if Ross agrees that is the way to go, what great GM is he going to land?

It's the Dolphins doing Dolphins things.

so awesomely dysfunctional

Daniel, Esq 2, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 21:40 (nine years ago) link

that cat thing wasn't in the original article, by the way. but i like it.

Daniel, Esq 2, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 21:41 (nine years ago) link

that cat thing wasn't in the original article

Would it be possible to create an internet-wide autoreplace?

Johnny Fever, Wednesday, 8 January 2014 21:44 (nine years ago) link

on it

this harmless group of nerds and the women that love them (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 9 January 2014 15:35 (nine years ago) link

two weeks pass...

lol humiliation: browns say farmer not interviewing second time

January 23, 2014
Humiliation: Browns say Farmer not interviewing second time

So let me get this straight ... The assistant general manager for the Cleveland Browns is informed he is a finalist for the general manager job with the Miami Dolphins and after getting through an initial interview that reportedly went well, he declines to take the second interview because he has doubts about the Dolphins' football structure?

Can this really be?

Is the Dolphins' reputation around the NFL this soiled that even people working for the Browns -- the Browns! -- don't want more money, more power, and a chance to run the Dolphins front office?

Somebody wake me, because this is a nightmare.

Let's retrace some footsteps because if this is, in fact, what's going on, we've already stepped in something foul.

Farmer interviewed for the Dolphins job January 11 and I reported the interview was very good. Obviously, it turns out, the interview did go well because a couple of days ago the Dolphins decided Farmer would be one of their finalists interviewing this weekend for a chance to become the successor to Jeff Ireland.

But a not-funny thing happened on the way to that prized finalist interview. Farmer began to have second thoughts. As I reported Thursday, Farmer started to waiver about whether or not he wanted to interview again with the Dolphins because he was feeling uncertain or uncomfortable with the Dolphins football structure.

Farmer talked to the Dolphins for at least five hours in that first interview. He came to that interview with the blessing of former boss Carl Peterson, who hired Farmer during his time with the Chiefs and is now the top advisor to Dolphins owner Stephen Ross on this GM search. And after answering a bunch of questions and presumably asking some of his own, Farmer was still not sure he either understood or liked the Miami structure?

That's not all. The concern was apparently so profound that even when the Fritz Pollard Alliance gave Farmer a strong recommendation to take the follow-up interview anway so he could get his clarification, Farmer declined anyway?

Well, that's apparently exactly what happened as on Thursday afternoon, Cleveland Browns CEO Joe Banner told a group of huddled reporters that Farmer was staying with the Browns rather than interview again with the Dolphins, according to the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

Quentin Tarrantino at the height of drug-induced inspiration could not make this stuff up.

So I have questions that frankly make me wonder about both Farmer and the Dolphins.

1. To Farmer, if you were still uncertain or uncomfortable with the Dolphins structure at the end of that initial interview, why didn't you say so then? Did this discomfort or uncertainty suddenly dawn on you or did you find out new things about the Dolphins in the days following the interview?

2. To Farmer, you worked under Peterson for years. Obviously Peterson thinks very highly you. So if you were uncertain or uncomfortable about the Dolphins structure, couldn't you just call Peterson and ask for clarity? Why the big public unveiling of this issue that makes neither the Dolphins nor you look good?

3. To the Dolphins, is the phrase, "Do you have any questions for us? Are you completely comfortable with where we are right now?" foriegn? After all, that kind of covers everything. If Farmer felt any degree of discomfort near the end of his interview, that phrase would have definitely opened the door to the airing of that discomfort.

4. To the Dolphins, how could you not know Farmer had issues with your structure?

5. To the Dolphins, did you interview a candidate and then anoint him a finalist without any clue he doesn't think highly of what you are proposing as the job structure?

6. To the Dolphins, aren't you starting to get a clue that something is seriously wrong with, well, you? Look, when one candidate declines to interview, that's understandable. When two candidates decide your interview offer is not for them, that's kind of worrisome but not terribly. But four candidates declined to take even initial interviews with you and a fifth man, who was open minded enough to take the initial interview, decided that familiarity with you was a reason to stay away in the future.

It's not them, my dear Dolphins franchise, it's you!

It's not the media with an agenda. It's not tough luck. It's not the competition conspiring against you. It is you!

Now, for the sake of full disclosure, Dolphins sources insist it is not them. (On a couple of counts, such as the initial Jason Licht story about him being offered the job and this evening's suggestion by one national reporter that Lake Dawson didn't become a finalist until after Farmer got second thoughts, it is indeed the media).

The message I get from the Dolphins is that every candidate is made aware he will be reporting directly to owner Stephen Ross. Every candidate is aware not he will not be under either coach Joe Philbin or executive vice president of football administration Dawn Aponte. Every candidate is aware he also will definitely not be over Philbin and probably not Aponte as well. Both Aponte and Philbin will answer to Ross.

So where is the misunderstanding?

Are the Dolphins not relaying that message clearly? Is there a communication disconnect? Is the team, through sources, saying one thing to me and then another to candidates? I don't know for sure. I'm not in the interviews.

(Maybe the Dolphins should embed me this weekend for their own well being -- like the military embeds war correspondents. It protects them.).

All I know is this is not the first humiliation the Dolphins suffer lately. It's starting to get really, really old.

dolphins are so much more entertaining off-the-field than on-the-field.

Daniel, Esq 2, Friday, 24 January 2014 03:17 (nine years ago) link


Armando Salguero ‏@ArmandoSalguero -- Dolphins Scorecard: 4 candidates declined first interview, 1 finalist declined second interview. 1 man offered the job turned it down.


Chris Kouffman ‏@ckparrot -- Can't close w/ Harbaugh, can't close w/ Peyton, can't close w/ Fisher, can't close w/ Caserio. Oh, and couldn't close the 2013 playoff run.

Daniel, Esq 2, Sunday, 26 January 2014 03:45 (nine years ago) link

Ethan J. Skolnick ‏@EthanJSkolnick -- I'm sure, if they begged, the Dolphins might get Dave Wannstedt to consider an interview

Daniel, Esq 2, Sunday, 26 January 2014 03:54 (nine years ago) link

___________ ‏@Sports_N_Beers -- Used for leverage... Fisher...Caserio...Harbaugh. These are the Dolphins under Steve Ross. For those under 25: It didn't use to be like this

dolphins fans (what few are left, i imagine) are having a collective conniption on social-media tonight, because of the hysterically mishandled GM hiring search.

Daniel, Esq 2, Sunday, 26 January 2014 06:00 (nine years ago) link

i know i'm likely the only ilx'or interested in the dolphins, but anyone interested in good comedy, or who is morbidly fascinated watching an organization disassemble from incompetence and bumbling, should read-up on miami's off-season.

a sampling today on twitter, reacting to the hiring of dennis hickey as GM, from those who cover the team:

Armando Salguero ‏@ArmandoSalguero -- Dolphins Scorecard: 4 candidates declined first interview, 1 finalist declined second interview. 1 man offered the job turned it down. (NOTE: now it's confirmed that two, not one, finalists were offered the job and turned it down; nick caserio and lake dawson)


Armando Salguero ‏@ArmandoSalguero -- Dolphins say reason Nick Caserio didn't accept job is he wanted to fire Joe Philbin and Dolphins wouldn't allow.


Armando Salguero ‏@ArmandoSalguero -- Dolphins tell me Lake Dawson was willing to keep Philbin but wanted say over his status in future. Ross keeps that.


Ian Rapoport ‏@RapSheet -- When #Dolphins search began, Ross said GM would have “autonomous responsibility for 53-man.” Yet candidates believed Philbin would have it


cover32 Dolphins ‏@cover32_MIA -- Last resort, second last resort...all semantics...fact is that (hickey) was option number 5 or 6 on the list.


Adam Beasley ‏@AdamHBeasley -- I've been told that several Dolphins players have already privately expressed that they want out of this situation. Real consequences coming.


Adam Beasley ‏@AdamHBeasley -- Another take: "Tampa is psyched. They were going to fire (new dolphins GM dennis hickey) anyway. Now they don't have to pay him."


Chris Kouffman ‏@ckparrot -- Dolphins situation worse than I thought.


mike freeman ‏@mikefreemanNFL -- Some of the things personnel men around the NFL are saying about the Dolphins is hilarious. Lots of jokes, disbelief.


Chris Kouffman ‏@ckparrot -- Brian Gaine, who acted as de facto GM during Senior Bowl and was supposed to be the reason it was OK for Philbin & Co to skip it, is LEAVING.


Rizz ‏@Rizzmigizz -- These Dolphins have done the impossible, made me wish they were playing again so the pain would go away. It's normally the opposite

Daniel, Esq 2, Sunday, 26 January 2014 23:15 (nine years ago) link

to have a guy come in from the same division and want to fire the HC as a condition, probably you just want to can that HC anyway. amazing really.

Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 27 January 2014 03:13 (nine years ago) link

interestingly, caserio tonight said he liked philbin, and didn't insist on firing him as a condition of caserio taking the job. it's the fins' representatives who said caserio made that demand. in that regard

Chris Kouffman ‏@ckparrot -- Dolphins say Caserio turned job down because he wanted to fire Philbin. Caserio directly denies he wanted to fire Philbin. I believe Caserio

Daniel, Esq 2, Monday, 27 January 2014 03:16 (nine years ago) link

oh boy

Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 27 January 2014 03:18 (nine years ago) link

more on this:

Adam Schefter ‏@AdamSchefter -- Source close to Lake Dawson insists that, for GM job, he never requested final say on whether MIA HC Joe Philbin would be back after 2014.


Chris Kouffman ‏@ckparrot -- If you ask me the Dolphins are lying their asses off about their cover story for why Caserio and Dawson rejected them.

Daniel, Esq 2, Monday, 27 January 2014 04:03 (nine years ago) link

I never even think about the Miami dolphins during the season, but this is great fun

Sufjan Grafton, Monday, 27 January 2014 06:22 (nine years ago) link

seven years pass...

three of the worst linemen in the league on one offensive line. you dream of luck like this.

last dropback, center and both guards got pushed around like IKEA furniture.

no matter how many draft picks we throw at the position, we get Dig Dug characters at the position

Cool Im An Situation (Neanderthal), Sunday, 21 November 2021 18:47 (two years ago) link

eleven months pass...

lol solved the offense problem now the defense breaks.

Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Saturday, 12 November 2022 18:28 (one year ago) link

I kinda wonder once you do get one of those fancy passing attacks what happens is that teams have to throw the ball to keep up and the you find out your team cannot stop the pass.

This was pretty much the Colts under Manning all the time and really kinda the Dolphins when they had Marino too.

earlnash, Sunday, 13 November 2022 05:43 (one year ago) link

Yeah I didn't start watching the Fins til 1989 and though he has a really good defense in 1992, the fear was often "great, we got the lead! How long will our defense keep it?".

Then by the time he acquired Jimmy Johnson's defense, they were running the ball much more than with Shula (without talented RBs to do it) and Dan had lost a step and couldn't take advantage

Fash Gordon (Neanderthal), Sunday, 13 November 2022 05:46 (one year ago) link

Hilarous thing was the Dolphins were all about the defense and running game before Marino started blasting bombs left and right with very workman like QB play (ex. David Woodly took them to a superbowl with the Killer Bs. D).

earlnash, Sunday, 13 November 2022 23:17 (one year ago) link

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