old rules that were deleted that should be brought back for LOLs

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which of these old rules, long into obscurity, should be the rule brought back to bring hilarity to the game?

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Taunting is allowed and encouraged 4
Substitutions are illegal 4
you can intentionally fumble the ball forward and advance it 2
NO PRO BOWL 2
if a defender contacts u and u fall and land on ur butt, u aren't down, get back up and run 1
lol no overtime, u tied after regulation u tied 1
TUCK RULE IS BACK 1
Multi-player celebrations are allowed and should be elaborate and big as possible 1
Forward passes are illegal 1
The ball is spotted where previous play ended (even if right next to the sideline) - no hash marks. even for field goa 1
you can contact WRs wherever the fuck u want to before ball is thrown, lmao 'illegal contact', get fucked receivers 1
u can't extend your arms and open your hands while blocking, LINEMEN 0
Pass interference = 10 yards and auto first down no matter where it happens 0
Passes must be thrown from at least 5 yards behind the line of scrimmage 0
Goal posts are on the goal line (like in Canada today) 0
No such thing as 2-point conversion, asshole 0
Nobody's names appear on their jerseys 0
It is illegal to use radios to communicate w/ players on field (vote for this one) 0
Facemasking is legal (don't vote for this one) 0
A touchdown is 4 points, a field goal is 5 0
Consecutive double touches of forward passes are illegal (sorry Raiders fans) 0
Other (whut) 0


i eat ass with a knife and fork (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 21 September 2022 02:47 (two weeks ago) link

Substitutions are illegal

and its corollary: why don't players stop whining about how they're tired?

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 21 September 2022 03:50 (two weeks ago) link

Bring back the flying wedge

sweating like Cathy *aaaack* (Boring, Maryland), Wednesday, 21 September 2022 13:44 (two weeks ago) link

tough call between taunting and celebrations but in the end taunting is cooler

lag∞n, Wednesday, 21 September 2022 14:06 (two weeks ago) link

voting for intentionally fumbling forward, no way that would do anything but make football much more fun

another plus: it will piss off fantasy players

comedy khadafi (voodoo chili), Wednesday, 21 September 2022 14:50 (two weeks ago) link

posts you thought were on ilx

i know nothing about any of this but i voted for "TUCK RULE IS BACK" because goddamn the hell with athletic cups, ATHLETIC GAFFS. that's right. every single one of those guys needs to learn to tuck. teach that shit in school, that's what i say. i don't need to know how to put a condom on a banana! i never fucked anybody with a banana, and even if i did, bananas just are not a high risk for passing on STDs, and an _extremely_ low risk for unplanned pregnancy. that's my new rule. all AMABs need to know how to push their testicles back into their inguinal cavity. done.

anyway i guess y'all get back to talking about gridiron football

Kate (rushomancy), Wednesday, 21 September 2022 15:40 (two weeks ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIRgXCB_sQE

FUMBLEROOSKI

We tried running this when I was in high school and totally screwed it up.

earlnash, Thursday, 22 September 2022 01:45 (one week ago) link

A touchdown is 4 points, a field goal is 5

if a *drop-kicked* field goal were 5 i might have to think about this

mookieproof, Thursday, 22 September 2022 02:24 (one week ago) link

xp my high school successfully executed it in the rain and won a game in which they were underdogs on the road. It was wild!

octobeard, Thursday, 22 September 2022 17:36 (one week ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Friday, 30 September 2022 00:01 (five days ago) link

NO PRO BOWL

Already happened.

Mr. Snrub, Friday, 30 September 2022 03:43 (five days ago) link

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/34669351/nfl-replaces-pro-bowl-pro-bowl-games-featuring-weeklong-skills-competitions-flag-football-game

Kind of a stupid idea if you ask me but at least they’re trying.

Mr. Snrub, Friday, 30 September 2022 03:45 (five days ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Saturday, 1 October 2022 00:01 (four days ago) link

i would start watching the nfl again if the whole thing went to flag football

Imagining the baseball-esque cheating that would ensue

stank viola (Neanderthal), Sunday, 2 October 2022 13:56 (three days ago) link

Doctoring the flags with grease

stank viola (Neanderthal), Sunday, 2 October 2022 13:56 (three days ago) link

Supergluing flags to butt

stank viola (Neanderthal), Sunday, 2 October 2022 13:56 (three days ago) link

Wearing extra flags

stank viola (Neanderthal), Sunday, 2 October 2022 13:57 (three days ago) link

The ball is spotted where previous play ended (even if right next to the sideline) - no hash marks. even for field goa

kinda into this 1

johnny crunch, Sunday, 2 October 2022 21:49 (three days ago) link

Going back to the hash marks would be interesting instead of resetting to the middle.

People get so absurd about the kicking game now, adding anything to make it more difficult might cause a few more fan deaths a year.

Might be worth it.

earlnash, Tuesday, 4 October 2022 16:45 (yesterday) link

I would love more missed field goals tbh

stank viola (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 4 October 2022 16:46 (yesterday) link

In general, I think they should go back to letting the DBs beat the crap out of the WRs. At least allow as much contact as they would in basketball in the lane.

I hate that short dink and dunk passing game that is modern football. RUN THE BALL!

earlnash, Tuesday, 4 October 2022 16:47 (yesterday) link

Basically make the no contact rule after 10 yards instead of 5, make them actually GO OUT FOR PASSES.

earlnash, Tuesday, 4 October 2022 16:47 (yesterday) link

it is kind of hilarious that it's lead every QB that is moderately average or slightly above to have massive passer ratings, whereas your Elways/etc were in the upper 70s/lower 80s.

I guess the QBR is the new sabermetric version?

stank viola (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 4 October 2022 16:48 (yesterday) link

Passing CP/ATT YDS TD INT FPTS
M. Stafford 32/48 254 0 1

Just look at this game from last night...

earlnash, Tuesday, 4 October 2022 16:52 (yesterday) link

Dan Marino threw for over 4000 yards constantly throwing 15-20 yard passes.

Mark Duper career 17.4 a catch
Mark Clayton career 15.4 a catch

earlnash, Tuesday, 4 October 2022 16:54 (yesterday) link

They can f' off that some of these modern guys are REALLY better than guys like Marino or Dan Fouts, who also played when you could beat the crap out of the QB.

earlnash, Tuesday, 4 October 2022 16:55 (yesterday) link

Kenny Anderson was completing 60 percent of his passes actually throwing them down field meanwhile Lyle Alzado and LC Greenwood was bouncing his dome off astroturf over concrete every week.

I'd like to see 45 year Dorian Gray Brady play a December game in Three Rivers circa '78 and do such.

earlnash, Tuesday, 4 October 2022 16:58 (yesterday) link

Kenny Stabler would be doing just that while smoking a Pall Mall and taking a hit of hooch out of a flask on the sideline.

earlnash, Tuesday, 4 October 2022 17:00 (yesterday) link

This is what an old QB looked like back then.

https://static.clubs.nfl.com/image/private/f_auto/raiders/q08ywvdzz0yqcb0q6ijb

Dude did not even bother with the Grecian Formula let alone Botox.

earlnash, Tuesday, 4 October 2022 17:01 (yesterday) link

there are some QBs with mega strong arms who can throw a good deep ball, but nowadays deep balls are more "i got 1 on 1, I'm gonna throw it up, hopefully we at least get PI" whereas your Marinos or Elways would throw a deep ball to a dude in double coverage with the intent to complete it and succeed.

part of the problem is how terrible offensive lines are nowadays, like it's mind-boggling how the Bengals got to the Super Bowl with their line. QBs don't have anywhere near the time to let a deep route develop anymore, the deep game often emerges after dinking and dunking a team for hours which makes the defense go more man to man eventually.

whereas at one point of his career, Marino went 19 games without being sacked (an NFL record). his line was so good he constantly had time to look downfield and he could put it where only the WR could get it.

Miami against Cincy had the type of inexperienced/mediocre CB pairings (due to injuries) that a deep-throwing old school QB would have loved to toast, and Burrow didn't really take advantage (ironically managing to throw his one 'bomb' against Pro Bowler Xavien Howard instead).

stank viola (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 4 October 2022 17:05 (yesterday) link

I remember Bill Parcells a few years ago talking about the Green Bay sweep style running and how that type of running play you really cannot do it anymore in some ways because lack of 'reps' and constant turnover. It has to be precise to work and the players change year to year, where in the old days you could have a core line stay together for a few seasons.

earlnash, Tuesday, 4 October 2022 17:12 (yesterday) link

It is illegal to use radios to communicate w/ players on field

i want to watch the players on the field either calling their own game or having to read baseball-esque hand signals all game

stank viola (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 4 October 2022 17:31 (yesterday) link

i remember when the golden snitch could be drop kicked for field goals, oh how we roared with delight

i'm intentionally vague, intending to front multitudes (Hunt3r), Tuesday, 4 October 2022 17:51 (yesterday) link


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