gronkowski number 1 pickFUCK YOU FANTASY FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!keenan allen number pick 2FUCK YOU FANTASY FOOTBALL I HATE YOU!!!!!!
― Pull your head on out your hippy haze (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 16 September 2016 19:44 (seven years ago) link
Ameer AbdullahThomas Rawls...
...the carnage continues
― Pull your head on out your hippy haze (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 21 September 2016 16:21 (seven years ago) link
― earlnash, Thursday, 22 September 2016 01:04 (seven years ago) link
today I started:
QB: Matt Stafford (playing CHI)WR1: MJJ (playing CHI)WR2: TY Hilton (playing JAX)WR3: Travis Benjamin (playing NO)RB1: Isaiah CrowellRB2: SimsTE: KelceFLEX: Cooks (playing SD)K: TuckerDEF: Denver
aside from Crowell and Denver, every single one of my players missed their projected score. infuriatingly, I had Matt Ryan sitting on my bench, where he put up 57 points as he and Julio bent my Actual IRL NFL Professional American Footballers Squadron Of Choice over a pinball table; if I'd started him, I would have won my matchup. instead I lost by 40. why did I let my goddamn coworkers drag me back into this bottomless spiral of shame and rage. WHY.
― thos beads (jamescobo), Monday, 3 October 2016 02:54 (seven years ago) link
one good thing did happen: last night I offered another owner Crowell and Duke for Gurley, and he turned it down without responding or countering or any of the usual courtesies you show people. interestingly enough he declined after Crow went off against Washington but before Gurley took the field; this means he saw Crow's 22 points and thought "nah man, Gurley's gonna be better than that." I like Cleveland's rushing situation in general (they're 4th in the league and average something like 185 yards per game, plus their passing game is extremely not great) and Crowell's in particular (the points he generates aren't totally dependent on TDs, he gets the ball a ton, etc).
I had also offered another owner Cooks and Tyrell for Diggs during the same drunken late-night offer spree; it got rejected in similar silent fashion, but I still wish that one had gone through. I still don't think either of these are terrible offers though!
― thos beads (jamescobo), Monday, 3 October 2016 03:05 (seven years ago) link
antonio brown bailed me out of my terrible decision to start desean jackson over maclin. shady + gore both had great games for me but i'm only 3 pts up right now and my opponent has santos. so i have that always hilariously hyper specific rooting interest - only TDs for KC (or nothing - but definitely no fg), only passes to Brown for Steelers.
― Mordy, Monday, 3 October 2016 03:08 (seven years ago) link
I love those specific conditions. last Monday I watched Falcons/Saints with some coworker friends; good thing it ended up being a shootout because we collectively had something like seven irons in that particular fire.
that same game saw one of my coworker friends rally from being down by 50ish to beat the office's resident Pats fan on the backs of Coleman and Brees. the Pats fan had been yapping all weekend at my friend about his insurmountable lead, so it was pretty great watching him get dropped to 0-3 (now 0-4).
― thos beads (jamescobo), Monday, 3 October 2016 03:53 (seven years ago) link
santos ended up w/ only 2 extra points and 2 is less than 3 so i win by exactly 1.02 points!
― Mordy, Monday, 3 October 2016 04:22 (seven years ago) link
the dude who put me on blast in the office FF slack channel for offering "offensive" trades (Cooks, Matt Ryan, and Sanu for Doug Martin and Amari Cooper is offensive?) got busted trying to offer the CJA owner DeSean Jackson straight up for him, lol
― thos beads (jamescobo), Wednesday, 5 October 2016 06:18 (seven years ago) link
cooks, ryan and sanu for doug martin and cooper sounds v reasonable to me
― Mordy, Wednesday, 5 October 2016 12:38 (seven years ago) link
pretty happy i didn't listen to all the brilliant pundits who said starting fitz w/ hoyer throwing is a mistake
― Mordy, Friday, 7 October 2016 02:25 (seven years ago) link
hoyer plays for the bears so that should've been a big tip off as to the quality of that advice
― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 7 October 2016 02:46 (seven years ago) link
lol yes i meant stanton i don't know why my mind was on hoyer
― Mordy, Friday, 7 October 2016 03:06 (seven years ago) link
faint praise but hoyer is much better than stanton. fitz is fitz tho, since his resurrection last season i would err on the side of playing him whoever is throwing
― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 7 October 2016 03:11 (seven years ago) link
it's a good thing he turned out since i lost keenan allen. brown-fitz and then maclin/desean my #3. rb's are shady-gore which has worked out nicely too.
― Mordy, Friday, 7 October 2016 03:22 (seven years ago) link
shady not playing + doug martin still not back. my new team name: J'Acquizz!
― Mordy, Thursday, 20 October 2016 20:15 (seven years ago) link
#1 rated draft (yeah yeah useless in fantasy), A-Rodgers, AJ Green, Jordy Nelson, Matt Forte....2 and fuckin' 4.
trying to find a good fantasy RB this year is kinda like trying to find luxury cologne at a Dollar General
― Neanderthal, Friday, 21 October 2016 01:00 (seven years ago) link
a friend of mine who moved out of new york city said that after a few months she realized that it was as if she'd been walking around with a foot long stick jabbed in her eye for the past five years and that getting out of nyc was like she could see again.my first season not playing fantasy football in over a decade brings that anecdote to mind for some reason.
― the notes the loon doesn't play (ulysses), Friday, 21 October 2016 03:24 (seven years ago) link
Malcolm Mitchell can go straight to hell.
― Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 03:06 (six years ago) link
started him :D
― Mordy, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 04:08 (six years ago) link
I'm up by 14 and I've got Gostkowski. But my opponent has Mitchell. I'm so fucked.
― Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 04:14 (six years ago) link
u think mitchell is going to score 14 more points this game??
― Mordy, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 04:18 (six years ago) link
There was like a two-second span of time when I thought the TD bomb to Hogan was Mitchell. I almost puked.
― Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 11:17 (six years ago) link
my team is awful but in the semifinals nonetheless what even is fantasy football
― why ruin a good tradition? (Will M.), Tuesday, 13 December 2016 17:54 (six years ago) link
I finished top seed w most points in the regular season; our playoffs start this week
― Mordy, Tuesday, 13 December 2016 17:56 (six years ago) link
Antonio Brown is basically a win button
playing kaep today over stafford - actually started him back when he had that 30 pt game and sat him when he put up that 3 pt game. kaep don't fail me now!
― Mordy, Sunday, 18 December 2016 16:58 (six years ago) link
my semifinals lineup:
Kaep, Antonio Brown, Larry Fitz, Shady, Rob Kelley, Jermaine Gersham (lolwat), Taylor Gabriel, Justin Tucker + KC
finished with the top seed. my bench is stafford, cj fied, muscle hamster, theo riddick, rishard matthews + alshon jeffrey
i'm playing against:
cam, davante adams, kerley, yeldon, hyde, clay, cameron meredith, matt bryant and houston
her team limped into the playoffs and tbh i'm feeling pretty good about my chances knock on wood i want to go to my first fantasy superbowl
― Mordy, Sunday, 18 December 2016 17:01 (six years ago) link
thanking u based shady
― Mordy, Sunday, 18 December 2016 20:47 (six years ago) link
My opponent is up by 24 and has DeSean Jackson. I have Jordan Reed and R. Kelly and Greg Olsen. Let's win this motherfucker!!
― Mr. Snrub, Monday, 19 December 2016 13:20 (six years ago) link
I'm up 25 with Kelley still to go and my opponent has Cam still to go.
― Mordy, Monday, 19 December 2016 13:52 (six years ago) link
FUCK YES KELLEY I'M GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL
― Mordy, Tuesday, 20 December 2016 02:38 (six years ago) link
omfg I needed 1.5 points out of Jordan Reed to advance and he goes no catches, then apparently separates his shoulder
― frogbs, Tuesday, 20 December 2016 03:37 (six years ago) link
PPR? he just made a catch.
― Mordy, Tuesday, 20 December 2016 03:50 (six years ago) link
sadly, no. got 0.6. apparently he came back but just got ejected, lol
― frogbs, Tuesday, 20 December 2016 04:49 (six years ago) link
― Mr. Snrub, Monday, December 19, 2016 1:20 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
DeSean Jackson and Jordan Reed can go straight to fucking hell. Even though it's partly my fault for not starting Jonathan Stewart in place of Jordan Reed's corpse.
― Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 20 December 2016 11:38 (six years ago) link
Ok guys - please help me make my final Superbowl roster decision!
.5 PPR, pick 3 of:
By contrast, here are my QB options:
(RB seems set w/ Shady + Kelley. TE I'm trying to pick up Hunter Henry or if not I'll roll w/ either Gresham or Fiedorowicz if he's back. K = Justin Tucker. DE = KC.)
― Mordy, Tuesday, 20 December 2016 20:03 (six years ago) link
sigh - guy i'm playing in the superbowl has jordy nelson :/
― Mordy, Saturday, 24 December 2016 19:14 (six years ago) link
― Roberto Spiralli, Saturday, 24 December 2016 19:20 (six years ago) link
if golden tate scores 8.96 points or less tomorrow night then i win
― Mordy, Monday, 26 December 2016 05:03 (six years ago) link
I WON MY SUPERBOWL BY .16 POINTS!
― Mordy, Tuesday, 27 December 2016 04:37 (six years ago) link
hope there's no 3 yard correction or anything
― Neanderthal, Tuesday, 27 December 2016 04:55 (six years ago) link
tell me about it!
― Mordy, Tuesday, 27 December 2016 05:15 (six years ago) link
Aw man, I came in second :/ I was pretty lucky to make the big game in the first place tho, so I guess I'll take my silver medal money.
― why ruin a good tradition? (Will M.), Wednesday, 28 December 2016 20:41 (six years ago) link
i don't think we do silver medal money but we do highest point total money (which i also won :D :D :D)
― Mordy, Wednesday, 28 December 2016 21:16 (six years ago) link
it looks like i'm not going to get screwed by stat corrections so let me officially share my first FF Superbowl appearance AND victory with you all and the improbably close game that won it
― Mordy, Friday, 30 December 2016 20:34 (six years ago) link
oh wow congrats. what a margin of victory that is.
― frogbs, Friday, 30 December 2016 20:37 (six years ago) link
that's fine work
― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 30 December 2016 21:09 (six years ago) link
btw I have played fantasy for over 10 years and never once won more than a single playoff game. you'd think I'd luck into a finals completely by accident just once, but no. I really suck.
― frogbs, Friday, 30 December 2016 21:20 (six years ago) link
I last won a league the year that LT2 had like 28 TDs. he was so good I lost like once all year.
― Neanderthal, Friday, 30 December 2016 23:07 (six years ago) link
49ers expected to fire Chip Kelly and GM Trent Baalke, sources say
― Mordy, Sunday, 1 January 2017 01:49 (six years ago) link
Heya all. So my league has two open spots I'm looking to fill. It's a .5 PPR ($20 buy in). We have some good/strong players. League is mostly Philly/NJ based, but we draft online so that doesn't have to stop you! Draft date looks like Labor Day @ 7PM EST. If you're interested lemmi know and I'll ilxmail you the invite link.
― Mordy, Sunday, 13 August 2017 18:13 (six years ago) link
maaaaaaaaan i better not. but tempting!
― Chocolate-covered gummy bears? Not ruling those lil' guys out. (ulysses), Sunday, 13 August 2017 23:01 (six years ago) link
Let me know if you change your mind :)
― Mordy, Sunday, 13 August 2017 23:25 (six years ago) link
how about frogbs? surely you're game?
― Mordy, Monday, 14 August 2017 02:03 (six years ago) link
just need 2 more teams... surely some intrepid ilxor is game?
― Mordy, Wednesday, 16 August 2017 20:58 (six years ago) link
bump cause i still need 2 teams and the draft is rapidly approaching...
― Mordy, Tuesday, 22 August 2017 15:16 (six years ago) link
Yahoo rated my (#12 pick) .5 PPR draft as 10th out of 12 but I think they're wrong:
QB: Tyrod Taylor (whatever I'll stream this)WR: AJ Green, Demaryius Thomas, DeVante Parker, Sammy Watkins, Jordan MatthewsRB: Melvin Gordon, Ty Montgomery, Frank Gore, Terrance West, Matt ForteTE: Hunter Henry, OJ Howard
― Mordy, Tuesday, 5 September 2017 00:36 (six years ago) link
imo you need montgomery to be great not good and you need the miami offense to go thru parker, which it might, and for him to get more tds.
― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 5 September 2017 01:10 (six years ago) link
i like both of them esp montgomery in a PPR league
― Mordy, Tuesday, 5 September 2017 01:21 (six years ago) link
I was late to my draft party and the auto-draft basically kicked in if you weren't signed in, and having last pick in a reversal-draft meant it auto-drafted Ajayi and Gordon for me back to back :/
― Neanderthal, Tuesday, 5 September 2017 02:11 (six years ago) link
not that I dislike the Ajayi pick but idk if I'd have gone RB-RB
― Neanderthal, Tuesday, 5 September 2017 02:12 (six years ago) link
I miss the days of like 2005 where basically whoever drafted LT2 was p much in the finals (esp cos it was usually me)
i won last season so i drafted from the 12 spot this year and went for a high risk high upside strategy
2019 Fantasy Draft
Cam NewtonJulio JonesBrandon CooksTodd GurleyChris CarsonDavid NjokuDuke Johnson JrJake ElliotCleveland DEF
Josh GordonMarvin Jones JrLarry FitzgeraldJustice HillDante PettisAdrian Peterson
actually very happy with this. feel like it's one of my better drafts. tons of injury risk but i have a new philosophy about football which is that no one is safe everyone is an injury concern it's an extraordinarily dangerous sport so don't worry about it.
― Mordy, Thursday, 29 August 2019 01:03 (four years ago) link
I think the thing that has soured me on fantasy football...this year, though I'm usually very active in the league, the draft happened on a day I was busy, so my team was auto-drafted, I soured on football cos I'm a Dolphins fan, and I was overseas, meaning I was often sleeping when the games were on. plus I couldn't remember my password to get into the application (we've been a league for 5 years) and never remembered to reset it.
I've never set a lineup all year. I never even looked at who is on my team. I don't know who my players are.
I'm 9-5 and playoff bound apparently.
― master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Friday, 13 December 2019 03:36 (three years ago) link
Maybe try a more competitive league? (Unless you're playing for money... definitely stay in this league if it's for money.)
I was down 40 points on Monday but still had Ertz and Wentz left. After four quarters they had basically done nothing. One of my most satisfying wins ever
― reggae mike love (polyphonic), Friday, 13 December 2019 20:13 (three years ago) link
that fucking Aaron Jones TD run on Monday night cost me $250.
― Evans on Hammond (evol j), Monday, 30 December 2019 17:58 (three years ago) link
as someone who has come so close so many times and lost on little things so many times, i feel your pain
however i won my league on a stat correction this year so i guess what goes around comes around???
― I'm a board man. Board man gets paid (Will M.), Monday, 30 December 2019 20:48 (three years ago) link
Nice! Actually, Freddie Kitchens is probably the one who owes me money for wasting OBJ
― Evans on Hammond (evol j), Tuesday, 31 December 2019 02:32 (three years ago) link
lol which stat correction?
― symsymsym, Tuesday, 31 December 2019 02:41 (three years ago) link
i think it was a danielle hunter tackel, we have idp, it's exhausting
― I'm a board man. Board man gets paid (Will M.), Saturday, 4 January 2020 05:47 (three years ago) link
i really wanted to name my team "pacheco cadaver" but there's zero chance any of my league mates would get it
― is he disgruntled adrian? (voodoo chili), Monday, 18 September 2023 04:21 (two months ago) link
i settled for "freek-a-leek-eler" instead