Tom Brady Can Suck My Dick

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This isn't exactly how I hoped this thread would go.

even with this title?!?!???!?

― hstencil (hstencil), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 19:54 (twenty years ago)

aaron brooks: the only sack he's ever had is on a football field
alex smith: #1 pick, #32 dick
plummer: as funny looking as his 'stache

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:01 (twenty years ago)

jeff garcia's one of those really skinny guys, like lance reddick on the Wire, who have huge dongs and never gain weight. i'm convinced that garcia has the biggest schwanz in the national football league, and i have procured photographic evidence as such:NSFW

― I GUARONTEE ::cajun voice:: (Adrian Langston), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:22 (twenty years ago)

This isn't rocket science: Brady was the only consistently healthy star on a playoff-bound team. Some people will always love the "one man show" MVP argument, see: Kevin Garnett every year.

― NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:25 (twenty years ago)

would you fuck jeff blake?

― NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:26 (twenty years ago)

What about Tony Blake?

plus: 3 RINGS.

Plus: receeding hairline

massive x-post.

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:31 (twenty years ago)

Plus: receeding hairline

AHA -- origins of the Terry Bradshaw comparison REVEALED!

― NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:36 (twenty years ago)

plaxico is hella overrated.

actually, maybe roethlisberger should be mvp, as the steelers inexplicably completely fall apart in every way when he doesn't play.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:18 (twenty years ago)

Well, when Roethlisberger doesn't play, it's a lot less fun, you know? And the guys, like, they like a lot of fun, they like to have a good time, throw around the ball, have some fun. You know?

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:33 (twenty years ago)

it may have something to do with the gravity of his enormous head

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:43 (twenty years ago)

http://benroethlisberger.typepad.com/roethlisberger/images/zeus1.jpg

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:48 (twenty years ago)

I love that picture.

This thread scares th' hell outta me.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 00:49 (twenty years ago)

Ryan Leaf fucked me in the ass and stole my wallet after he was done.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 07:55 (twenty years ago)

Zeus should have his own Fat Head.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:44 (twenty years ago)

I figured out last night my problem with Brady. Every time I see him, I imagine him in a striped shirt with a flipped up collar, drinking Jager Bombs and telling his friends he's thinking of buying a boat this year.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:45 (twenty years ago)

You must've seen his Visa commercial.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:29 (twenty years ago)

BTW, Big Ben is pimping for Fathead. DOWNGRADE.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:29 (twenty years ago)

Yeah but his commercial is so weird, when he talks to the camera in that high pitched lispy voice imploring for all the viewers to purchase him...it's a little "special."

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:36 (twenty years ago)

They shd make a play for TO. Fathead, that is.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:43 (twenty years ago)

so does Shaq seriously lack equipment or is it just in proportion to the rest of his body?

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:52 (twenty years ago)

http://espn.starwave.com/i/magazine/new/brady_eli.jpg

Is Tom Brady going to Halloween as:
a) House, MD
b) the guy from the Killers
c) James Spader
?

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 17:22 (twenty years ago)

brady also strikes me as less fratdouche as a TON of other qbs in the league!!! or maybe he's one of the good ones. or something. god :'(

― I GUARONTEE ::cajun voice:: (Adrian Langston), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 17:26 (twenty years ago)

Who are these tons of qbs! There aren't tons of qbs in the league! Unless you guys have a lot of info about 3 stringers or something.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 17:29 (twenty years ago)

EVERY WHITE GUY BASICALLY

― I GUARONTEE ::cajun voice:: (Adrian Langston), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 17:33 (twenty years ago)

who is under 30

― I GUARONTEE ::cajun voice:: (Adrian Langston), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 17:33 (twenty years ago)

Joey Harrington.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 17:56 (twenty years ago)

What about offensive linemen? There's a lot of white dudes there. Or Shockey? Though he arguably looks like the biggest douche in the league so I'm not really helping anyone with that.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 18:49 (twenty years ago)

Shockey can suck his own dick.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 18:50 (twenty years ago)

http://members.aol.com/bhsu21/shockeyshocked.gif

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 18:50 (twenty years ago)

when shockey dies, there's no question that that should be his obituary.

as for shaq, i haven't read the book yet! i totally wanna buy it tho.

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:02 (twenty years ago)

Thanks, admins! :)

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:08 (twenty years ago)

God, you know, I might have this vague irrational dislike of Tom Brady and his Hype Machine, but really, I mean I qualify that by saying "I'm sure he's a good guy, and he's not bad etc." Shockey though, I would fucking punch in the dick, no joke.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 19:32 (twenty years ago)

Joey Harrington is not a fratdouche. He plays piano and loves his mother and his favorite pasttime in the world is playing Ms. Pac Man.

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:03 (twenty years ago)

So he's a faggit then?

― Jimmy Mod (I myself am lethal at 100 -110dB) (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:05 (twenty years ago)

Underneath that fratboy exterior beats the heart of a kicker.

― laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:26 (twenty years ago)

That's the greatest thing anyone's said in a long while.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 20:35 (twenty years ago)

no joke!

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 22:00 (twenty years ago)

i liked tom brady until i read this.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 23:51 (twenty years ago)

His current "disrespect" beef is stupid, but

1) the Pats *have* been widely disrespected at various points during their run. Exhibit A: widely considered to be the underdogs as the two-time champs playing at home in last year's playoffs against Indy, despite having dominated them for years.

2) the part about people giving up on them earlier in the season is certainly true. It's one thing to look at a 4-4 team with loads of injuries and say that they're done for even if they make the playoffs. But there was a lot of talk of the "even if they get healthy, this team can't win the SB" variety, which is unbelievably dumb considering they already HAVE won the SB with that team. Three times.

― NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:03 (twenty years ago)

If this asinine stance motivates whatever team they're playing to beat the everliving bejeezus out of the Pasties, I'm totally behind it 110%.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 5 January 2006 00:06 (twenty years ago)

Bradyflakes I'm sure is a Republican. He has shilled for the W.

OTOH, he still drives his 1992 Corolla. They don't even make Corollas anymore!

― c(''c) (Leee), Thursday, 5 January 2006 01:27 (twenty years ago)

I could never hate on a Wolverine, but on the other hand yeah, I'm pretty sick of him and the Pats at this point. Loved the first Super Bowl team though; taking them plus the 12 or 14 or whatever it was against the Rams was some of the easiest money I've ever made.

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Thursday, 5 January 2006 01:34 (twenty years ago)

The Pats are so widely disrespected this year that I was prompted to start a thread on how every goddamn discussion of MVP involves someone shouting "TOM BRADY" over all sensible comers. OK.

I hope Jacksonville beats the shit out of them.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 15:59 (twenty years ago)

finished third in the mvp vote! OVER TIKI! this kinda surprised me actually

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 5 January 2006 19:05 (twenty years ago)

I can't believe 2 nutjobs voted for Carson Palmer at this point in the season!

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 5 January 2006 19:08 (twenty years ago)

There's no player I'd like to see take a Theismann-esque injury more than Brady at this point. The "dude has x championship rings" argument is terrible in any team sport, but especially so in the NFL. Not many starting QBs in the NFL that wouldn't have a few rings with that Pats team if they'd been in Brady's place. Hello, Trent Dilfer.

― Mingus Dew (Mingus Dew), Saturday, 7 January 2006 10:00 (twenty years ago)

Oh snap. They had some special on NFL Network about MNF's top 36 moments and they actually showed the Theismann injury, like 7 or 8 times, slo mo, regular mo, etc etc etc. Horrifying, haven't seen that in years and it still is like scream-worthy. LEGS DON'T BEND IN 7 PLACES.

― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Saturday, 7 January 2006 22:26 (twenty years ago)

yeah you're right mingus - can you imagine how many rings peyton would have if he had future hofers david givens and antowain smith instead of being saddled with marvin harrison and edge?

― j blount (papa la bas), Sunday, 8 January 2006 09:37 (twenty years ago)

The Colts never had a defense until this year, whereas the Patriots' defense during their run has been outstanding. How was NE playing earlier this year with all those defensive injuries compared to now with them back? Defense has always been the key for the Patriots. Is Brady a good QB? Yes, he is. But nowhere NEAR the godlike figure the media makes him out to be.

― Mingus Dew (Mingus Dew), Monday, 9 January 2006 01:27 (twenty years ago)

Like NE's recieving core is something out of the Houston Texans...Troy Brown, David Patten, David Givens, Kevin Faulk, Deon Branch, Graham and Fauria are all pretty good. Troy Brown has had seasons where he caught 101 and 97 balls, which is near the top of the NFL. There is no individual nearly as great as Harrison, but that is some pretty good depth.

I think Kevin Faulk is the freaking secret weapon for the Pats success. That guy has had so many big plays turning 2 yard screens into big yardage it isn't funny. Faulk is the prototype of what a team wants with a 3rd down back.

Brady has been the perfect QB to go with that defense, as he has only thrown 3 interceptions in all of those playoff games. I'll give you that is impressive. Brady has been good by just not fucking up and having the luxury of never having to really air it out because they are behind.

It is more than Brady. They had a kicker who hit all of the big shots. The Pats got lucky on one of the oddest calls in the history of the game against the Raiders. They got a couple of TDs from their D, a couple of returns broke free (how they beat the Steelers once). Criminy, they won all three SB's by a field goal! It isn't like the Niners or Cowboys beating the Bills or Broncos by 40.

― earlnash, Monday, 9 January 2006 03:12 (twenty years ago)

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