rolling thread for chronicling the misadventures of dwight howard, nba center

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brimstead, Tuesday, 26 February 2013 03:56 (five years ago) Permalink

thesis statement, for posterity: http://deadspin.com/5958111/deadspin-nba-shit-list-dwight-howard-the-superman-of-unfunny

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 26 February 2013 04:02 (five years ago) Permalink

Instead, he says the exchange had to do with confusion over whether it was supposed to be him or Blake Griffin involved with a play.

“Pop was diagramming a play for me, and then as he showed us what to do he kept saying, ‘Blake,’” Howard said according to the LA Times. “So Blake and I are confused, but he keeps saying Blake, so Blake takes off his jersey and goes into the game.

“Pop sees me and wants to know why I’m not in the game running the play, so I tell him he kept saying Blake so Blake went in. He wasn’t swearing at me.”

kind of lol mostly sad

乒乓, Tuesday, 26 February 2013 12:38 (five years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/XL0nbCP.png

乒乓, Thursday, 28 February 2013 17:05 (five years ago) Permalink

media quotes dwight, diwght accuses media of twisting his words http://www.latimes.com/sports/basketball/nba/lakers/la-sp-lakers-fyi-20130307,0,5226872.story

lag∞n, Thursday, 7 March 2013 14:11 (five years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

http://espn.go.com/los-angeles/nba/story/_/id/9099510/dwight-howard-los-angeles-lakers-vows-payback-play-golden-state-warriors-david-lee

"He got away with a shot," Howard said, according to Yahoo! Sports. "I will remember this game. I will remember that shot. He said he wasn't trying to do it. You can look at the play and see it for yourself. I will take care of it later."

Spottie_Ottie_Dope, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:16 (five years ago) Permalink

"I can shoot the ball from anywhere. I've just got to have confidence in myself," Howard said.

moullet, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 02:13 (five years ago) Permalink

http://i.imgur.com/5K6eTCL.png

乒乓, Tuesday, 2 April 2013 16:08 (five years ago) Permalink

resonable

lag∞n, Tuesday, 2 April 2013 16:08 (five years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

http://i.imgur.com/nNUpbLw.jpg

乒乓, Thursday, 18 April 2013 02:44 (five years ago) Permalink

he dances, he is so funny

Z S up HOOS down (Spottie_Ottie_Dope), Thursday, 18 April 2013 02:46 (five years ago) Permalink

that picture is kinda perfect w the fish eye, looks like hes pulling reality in

lag∞n, Friday, 19 April 2013 02:01 (five years ago) Permalink

I hope everyone saw Dwights pregame speech from yesterdays game!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kBsnkavkA0

Z S up HOOS down (Spottie_Ottie_Dope), Friday, 19 April 2013 02:29 (five years ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR46eRds0xo

Clay, Monday, 29 April 2013 03:23 (five years ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ8N95LIrk8

Clay, Monday, 29 April 2013 03:24 (five years ago) Permalink

we really need to get a lip reader on that

lag∞n, Monday, 29 April 2013 18:29 (five years ago) Permalink

Hohotat 9 hours ago
I read his lips. He yelled at Mitch: "Dont put your hands on me like somebodys bit$#h,,,,

am0n, Monday, 29 April 2013 19:34 (five years ago) Permalink

yo

lag∞n, Monday, 29 April 2013 23:39 (five years ago) Permalink

nah

'scuse me while i make the sky cum (k3vin k.), Monday, 29 April 2013 23:41 (five years ago) Permalink

i love that the youtube cut ends w/ a split second of kobe being all 'smh'

乒乓, Monday, 29 April 2013 23:41 (five years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

http://i.imgur.com/dskaYF0.png

乒乓, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 17:59 (five years ago) Permalink

"misutilized"??

what the fuck.

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 18:04 (five years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

Dwight Howard to voice cartoon turkey in time-traveling turkey movie

Two turkeys from opposite sides of the tracks must put aside their differences and team up to travel back in time to change the course of history - and get turkey off the holiday menu for good.

Clay, Saturday, 15 June 2013 01:18 (five years ago) Permalink

dwight is a genuinely weird dude

lag∞n, Monday, 1 July 2013 04:13 (five years ago) Permalink

weird dude energy

乒乓, Monday, 1 July 2013 04:47 (five years ago) Permalink

Please please please don't go to the Warriors

polyphonic, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:08 (five years ago) Permalink

warriors could be a contender w dwight man

lag∞n, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:24 (five years ago) Permalink

dwight should go to cbs on wednesdays at 8:30, do something family-friendly, follow his bliss.

Clay, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:26 (five years ago) Permalink

dwight's a jesus dude, iirc, mark jackson might be able to get him to harness his talent more effectively.

brimstead, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:28 (five years ago) Permalink

dwight has harnessed his talent extremely effectively up to this point

lag∞n, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:29 (five years ago) Permalink

dwight's a jesus dude w/ 8 children by 8 diff't women iirc

Clay, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:30 (five years ago) Permalink

dwight thread needs every post to begin with 'dwight'

Clay, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:31 (five years ago) Permalink

aldwight, is how its going so far

lag∞n, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:32 (five years ago) Permalink

@MySportsLegion: A Houston adult store is offering Dwight Howard free condoms for life if he signs with the Rockets.”

乒乓, Thursday, 4 July 2013 02:07 (five years ago) Permalink

there's something he actually needs

call all destroyer, Thursday, 4 July 2013 02:13 (five years ago) Permalink

haha

Shock G Mo Collier (Spottie_Ottie_Dope), Thursday, 4 July 2013 02:13 (five years ago) Permalink

@WojYahooNBA Holed away in Colorado, the Lakers are still prominent in Dwight Howard's mind, sources tell Y! Rockets remain strong, Warriors lurking.

what's happening here in this tweet, it weirds me out

Clay, Friday, 5 July 2013 16:17 (five years ago) Permalink

the poetic woj

call all destroyer, Friday, 5 July 2013 17:12 (five years ago) Permalink

what r the lakers doing in colorado, not the best state for them

lag∞n, Friday, 5 July 2013 17:27 (five years ago) Permalink

some nice lakes there

http://www.mountainlake.com/mlp/scenes3/duchar21.jpg

call all destroyer, Friday, 5 July 2013 17:28 (five years ago) Permalink

true

lag∞n, Friday, 5 July 2013 17:30 (five years ago) Permalink

That looks like he's making the world bleed.

Stately, plump Carey Mulleeegan (Leee), Friday, 5 July 2013 19:14 (five years ago) Permalink

he is, basically

call all destroyer, Friday, 5 July 2013 19:16 (five years ago) Permalink

dwight is gonna play for the los angeles flying bloody horse bridges

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT TO PROVE IT (m bison), Friday, 5 July 2013 19:24 (five years ago) Permalink

lol

competitive shooter - - - - (Spottie), Saturday, 25 November 2017 21:05 (one year ago) Permalink

one month passes...

This is absolutely amazing.

MCW unable to attempt free throws in blowout, so Scott Brooks chooses Dwight Howard and makes him come back onto court to shoot

Dwight drains both, does Cassell big balls dance, blows Brooks a kiss 💀#PettyWarz pic.twitter.com/qPhV6jdlVp

— Pettywise (@World_Wide_Wob) January 18, 2018

Spottie, Thursday, 18 January 2018 03:17 (ten months ago) Permalink

four months pass...

Wishing all of the super dads of #BuzzCity a Happy Father’s Day! pic.twitter.com/P0HBtb2ad8

— Charlotte Hornets (@hornets) June 17, 2018

sprout god (lag∞n), Sunday, 17 June 2018 17:19 (five months ago) Permalink

How many kids does dude have

Hall of Fam (Spottie), Sunday, 17 June 2018 17:53 (five months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

pic.twitter.com/U6MItrcV0S

— Nick Whalen (@wha1en) July 23, 2018

InfoWarriors (Spottie), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 15:35 (four months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

Dwight Howard’s trainer: ‘He wants to evolve into Anthony Davis, into Kevin Durant, but his own version of that’ https://t.co/6OPjmDfX6L

— Kurt Helin (@basketballtalk) August 14, 2018

InfoWarriors (Spottie), Tuesday, 14 August 2018 19:03 (three months ago) Permalink

Beal and Wall are literally going to murder him

reggae mike love (polyphonic), Tuesday, 14 August 2018 19:36 (three months ago) Permalink

...and then each other

InfoWarriors (Spottie), Tuesday, 14 August 2018 19:39 (three months ago) Permalink

for my part i believe in his 15th season dwight howard will definitely come to resemble either anthony davis or kevin durant, two of the most physically gifted basketball players ever who are playing in their primes and in ways that dwight howard has never, ever, remotely played like before

Clay, Wednesday, 15 August 2018 01:02 (three months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

DWIGHT HOWARD DAD JOKES ALERT

Reporter to Dwight Howard: “Do you envision shooting any 3-pointers this year.”

Dwight: Hold on...

[He closes eyes and makes an intense face for three seconds.]

Dwight, again: Yep, I just made 3.

— Fred Katz (@FredKatz) September 24, 2018

omar little, Monday, 24 September 2018 21:23 (two months ago) Permalink

lol pretty good tbf

Machine Gunk Jelly (Spottie), Tuesday, 25 September 2018 01:45 (two months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

While the injury is not a serious one for the center, he may miss out on the Wizards' opening game against the Miami Heat. Howard's days as DPOY may be over, but he is still a valuable asset to the Wizards, as he came in to replace Marcin Gortat.

Howard is known around the NBA as being one of the top defenders of his generation. Though he's jumped from team to team in recent years, he still makes a difference whenever he is on the hardwood. With his massive size, opposing players know better than to try and get cute around the rim.

omar little, Friday, 19 October 2018 16:27 (one month ago) Permalink

four weeks pass...

lmao thats incredible that it happened at home everyone hates dwight!

lag∞n, Saturday, 17 November 2018 19:36 (three weeks ago) Permalink

uhhh

lag∞n, Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:39 (two weeks ago) Permalink

this whole situation's got me mad and nervous af. nba twitter out here making light of dwight's sexuality and not focusing on his abusive behavior.

21st savagery fox (m bison), Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:41 (two weeks ago) Permalink

yeah, not great all around

lag∞n, Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:43 (two weeks ago) Permalink

wizards just cut him btw

lag∞n, Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:47 (two weeks ago) Permalink

wait what?

21st savagery fox (m bison), Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:49 (two weeks ago) Permalink

i mean what else would twitter be doing

call all destroyer, Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:51 (two weeks ago) Permalink

oh my bad mightve just fell for a fake tweet!

lag∞n, Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:51 (two weeks ago) Permalink

wizards just cut him btw

― lag∞n, Saturday, November 24, 2018 11:47 PM (four minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

source cause there were some fake woj accounts posting this

call all destroyer, Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:52 (two weeks ago) Permalink

xp ok yeah

call all destroyer, Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:52 (two weeks ago) Permalink

This covers it in one tweet.
Raquel Willis on Dwight

EZ Snappin, Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:53 (two weeks ago) Permalink

well that doesn't cover the actual story.....

call all destroyer, Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:54 (two weeks ago) Permalink

eventually these idiots are going to learn that everyone knows how to save receipts

call all destroyer, Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:54 (two weeks ago) Permalink

It covers the perspective people seem to be missing in their rush to use the word tranny.

EZ Snappin, Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:57 (two weeks ago) Permalink

:////////////////////////////////////

21st savagery fox (m bison), Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:58 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I hope Dwight gets what he’s due for being an abusive threatening asshole. I don’t give two shits who he fucks as long as he doesn’t try to fuck them over

EZ Snappin, Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:59 (two weeks ago) Permalink

having yr goons threaten someones life, thats bad

lag∞n, Sunday, 25 November 2018 05:01 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Yeah

EZ Snappin, Sunday, 25 November 2018 05:01 (two weeks ago) Permalink

the ineptitude is.....exactly what i would expect from people who associate with dwight howard

call all destroyer, Sunday, 25 November 2018 05:03 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Tried to figure out what the hell was going on via Twitter, got subjected to an endless stream of terrible homophobic/transphobic garbage way to go America

The Poppy Bush AutoZone (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Sunday, 25 November 2018 15:07 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Tried to figure out what the hell was going on via Twitter, got subjected to an endless stream of terrible homophobic/transphobic garbage way to go America

Same

I need an explain like I’m five ... and also not an asshole homophobe.

Allen (etaeoe), Sunday, 25 November 2018 15:49 (two weeks ago) Permalink

the very short version is:

trans woman claims she was in an exclusive relationship with dwight, ended it when it was no longer very exclusive on his end, began getting shady anonymous messages involving bribes then threats, traced them back to dwight’s ppl including his “pastor,” saved a variety of electronic evidence along the way.

call all destroyer, Sunday, 25 November 2018 15:51 (two weeks ago) Permalink

some ppl on twitter saying this same person tried to out playboi carti and it turned out to be fake but idk

lag∞n, Sunday, 25 November 2018 15:54 (two weeks ago) Permalink

the thing about the secret phone number reveling app does seem kinda sus

lag∞n, Sunday, 25 November 2018 15:54 (two weeks ago) Permalink

yeah. i cannot vouch for any of the electronic evidence presented.

call all destroyer, Sunday, 25 November 2018 15:55 (two weeks ago) Permalink

yes, altho to clarify the accuser in this case is a gay man

21st savagery fox (m bison), Sunday, 25 November 2018 16:31 (two weeks ago) Permalink

So was this all fake or what?

Spottie, Tuesday, 27 November 2018 04:35 (two weeks ago) Permalink

i guess? i didnt see anything conclusive but no news sites touched it

lag∞n, Tuesday, 27 November 2018 06:11 (two weeks ago) Permalink

interesting timing on the back surgery. out 3-4 months, essentially out for the year. career likely in jeopardy i would think.

Spottie, Friday, 30 November 2018 18:38 (one week ago) Permalink

it's been quite the misadventure

(•̪●) (carne asada), Friday, 30 November 2018 19:49 (one week ago) Permalink

Dwight is such an inimitable and curiously indescribable figure, i was trying to explain his downfall the other night to someone..."well see he was legitimately great, considered to be likable, and then he went to the Laker and got on Kobe's bad side and started telling dad jokes..."

i couldn't do it past that point.

omar little, Friday, 30 November 2018 23:33 (one week ago) Permalink

lmao

lag∞n, Friday, 30 November 2018 23:59 (one week ago) Permalink

the candy addiction is crucial imo

lag∞n, Friday, 30 November 2018 23:59 (one week ago) Permalink

i guess i could call him a controversy-free* Alex Rodriguez, and somehow the gulf between his desperation to be liked and the reality is even more enormous than A-Rod's.

he's never had a major scandal one can point to, he just shows up with a new franchise and walks into the locker room cracking jokes with his teammates and putting up 16/12 and pretty soon rumors are out that he's going to be fragged on the next road trip.

(*we'll see what occurs with this recent business)

omar little, Saturday, 1 December 2018 01:21 (one week ago) Permalink

god i always forget about the candy thing

omar little, Saturday, 1 December 2018 01:22 (one week ago) Permalink

the candy addiction is just idk its perfect?

lag∞n, Saturday, 1 December 2018 03:39 (one week ago) Permalink


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