rolling thread for chronicling the misadventures of dwight howard, nba center

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http://s23.postimage.org/iltmaaajv/Picture_112.jpg

brimstead, Tuesday, 26 February 2013 03:56 (nine years ago) link

thesis statement, for posterity: http://deadspin.com/5958111/deadspin-nba-shit-list-dwight-howard-the-superman-of-unfunny

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 26 February 2013 04:02 (nine years ago) link

Instead, he says the exchange had to do with confusion over whether it was supposed to be him or Blake Griffin involved with a play.

“Pop was diagramming a play for me, and then as he showed us what to do he kept saying, ‘Blake,’” Howard said according to the LA Times. “So Blake and I are confused, but he keeps saying Blake, so Blake takes off his jersey and goes into the game.

“Pop sees me and wants to know why I’m not in the game running the play, so I tell him he kept saying Blake so Blake went in. He wasn’t swearing at me.”

kind of lol mostly sad

乒乓, Tuesday, 26 February 2013 12:38 (nine years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/XL0nbCP.png

乒乓, Thursday, 28 February 2013 17:05 (nine years ago) link

media quotes dwight, diwght accuses media of twisting his words http://www.latimes.com/sports/basketball/nba/lakers/la-sp-lakers-fyi-20130307,0,5226872.story

lag∞n, Thursday, 7 March 2013 14:11 (nine years ago) link

two weeks pass...

http://espn.go.com/los-angeles/nba/story/_/id/9099510/dwight-howard-los-angeles-lakers-vows-payback-play-golden-state-warriors-david-lee

"He got away with a shot," Howard said, according to Yahoo! Sports. "I will remember this game. I will remember that shot. He said he wasn't trying to do it. You can look at the play and see it for yourself. I will take care of it later."

Spottie_Ottie_Dope, Tuesday, 26 March 2013 16:16 (nine years ago) link

"I can shoot the ball from anywhere. I've just got to have confidence in myself," Howard said.

moullet, Wednesday, 27 March 2013 02:13 (nine years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/5K6eTCL.png

乒乓, Tuesday, 2 April 2013 16:08 (nine years ago) link

resonable

lag∞n, Tuesday, 2 April 2013 16:08 (nine years ago) link

two weeks pass...

http://i.imgur.com/nNUpbLw.jpg

乒乓, Thursday, 18 April 2013 02:44 (nine years ago) link

he dances, he is so funny

Z S up HOOS down (Spottie_Ottie_Dope), Thursday, 18 April 2013 02:46 (nine years ago) link

that picture is kinda perfect w the fish eye, looks like hes pulling reality in

lag∞n, Friday, 19 April 2013 02:01 (nine years ago) link

I hope everyone saw Dwights pregame speech from yesterdays game!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kBsnkavkA0

Z S up HOOS down (Spottie_Ottie_Dope), Friday, 19 April 2013 02:29 (nine years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR46eRds0xo

Clay, Monday, 29 April 2013 03:23 (nine years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ8N95LIrk8

Clay, Monday, 29 April 2013 03:24 (nine years ago) link

we really need to get a lip reader on that

lag∞n, Monday, 29 April 2013 18:29 (nine years ago) link

Hohotat 9 hours ago
I read his lips. He yelled at Mitch: "Dont put your hands on me like somebodys bit$#h,,,,

am0n, Monday, 29 April 2013 19:34 (nine years ago) link

yo

lag∞n, Monday, 29 April 2013 23:39 (nine years ago) link

nah

'scuse me while i make the sky cum (k3vin k.), Monday, 29 April 2013 23:41 (nine years ago) link

i love that the youtube cut ends w/ a split second of kobe being all 'smh'

乒乓, Monday, 29 April 2013 23:41 (nine years ago) link

three weeks pass...

http://i.imgur.com/dskaYF0.png

乒乓, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 17:59 (nine years ago) link

"misutilized"??

what the fuck.

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 18:04 (nine years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Dwight Howard to voice cartoon turkey in time-traveling turkey movie

Two turkeys from opposite sides of the tracks must put aside their differences and team up to travel back in time to change the course of history - and get turkey off the holiday menu for good.

Clay, Saturday, 15 June 2013 01:18 (nine years ago) link

dwight is a genuinely weird dude

lag∞n, Monday, 1 July 2013 04:13 (nine years ago) link

weird dude energy

乒乓, Monday, 1 July 2013 04:47 (nine years ago) link

Please please please don't go to the Warriors

polyphonic, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:08 (nine years ago) link

warriors could be a contender w dwight man

lag∞n, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:24 (nine years ago) link

dwight should go to cbs on wednesdays at 8:30, do something family-friendly, follow his bliss.

Clay, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:26 (nine years ago) link

dwight's a jesus dude, iirc, mark jackson might be able to get him to harness his talent more effectively.

brimstead, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:28 (nine years ago) link

dwight has harnessed his talent extremely effectively up to this point

lag∞n, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:29 (nine years ago) link

dwight's a jesus dude w/ 8 children by 8 diff't women iirc

Clay, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:30 (nine years ago) link

dwight thread needs every post to begin with 'dwight'

Clay, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:31 (nine years ago) link

aldwight, is how its going so far

lag∞n, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 23:32 (nine years ago) link

@MySportsLegion: A Houston adult store is offering Dwight Howard free condoms for life if he signs with the Rockets.”

乒乓, Thursday, 4 July 2013 02:07 (nine years ago) link

there's something he actually needs

call all destroyer, Thursday, 4 July 2013 02:13 (nine years ago) link

haha

Shock G Mo Collier (Spottie_Ottie_Dope), Thursday, 4 July 2013 02:13 (nine years ago) link

@WojYahooNBA Holed away in Colorado, the Lakers are still prominent in Dwight Howard's mind, sources tell Y! Rockets remain strong, Warriors lurking.

what's happening here in this tweet, it weirds me out

Clay, Friday, 5 July 2013 16:17 (nine years ago) link

the poetic woj

call all destroyer, Friday, 5 July 2013 17:12 (nine years ago) link

what r the lakers doing in colorado, not the best state for them

lag∞n, Friday, 5 July 2013 17:27 (nine years ago) link

some nice lakes there

http://www.mountainlake.com/mlp/scenes3/duchar21.jpg

call all destroyer, Friday, 5 July 2013 17:28 (nine years ago) link

true

lag∞n, Friday, 5 July 2013 17:30 (nine years ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BOZYISqCAAErO9b.jpg

call all destroyer, Friday, 5 July 2013 19:13 (nine years ago) link

That looks like he's making the world bleed.

Stately, plump Carey Mulleeegan (Leee), Friday, 5 July 2013 19:14 (nine years ago) link

he is, basically

call all destroyer, Friday, 5 July 2013 19:16 (nine years ago) link

dwight is gonna play for the los angeles flying bloody horse bridges

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, GOT THE T-SHIRT TO PROVE IT (m bison), Friday, 5 July 2013 19:24 (nine years ago) link

the very short version is:

trans woman claims she was in an exclusive relationship with dwight, ended it when it was no longer very exclusive on his end, began getting shady anonymous messages involving bribes then threats, traced them back to dwight’s ppl including his “pastor,” saved a variety of electronic evidence along the way.

call all destroyer, Sunday, 25 November 2018 15:51 (three years ago) link

some ppl on twitter saying this same person tried to out playboi carti and it turned out to be fake but idk

lag∞n, Sunday, 25 November 2018 15:54 (three years ago) link

the thing about the secret phone number reveling app does seem kinda sus

lag∞n, Sunday, 25 November 2018 15:54 (three years ago) link

yeah. i cannot vouch for any of the electronic evidence presented.

call all destroyer, Sunday, 25 November 2018 15:55 (three years ago) link

yes, altho to clarify the accuser in this case is a gay man

21st savagery fox (m bison), Sunday, 25 November 2018 16:31 (three years ago) link

So was this all fake or what?

Spottie, Tuesday, 27 November 2018 04:35 (three years ago) link

i guess? i didnt see anything conclusive but no news sites touched it

lag∞n, Tuesday, 27 November 2018 06:11 (three years ago) link

interesting timing on the back surgery. out 3-4 months, essentially out for the year. career likely in jeopardy i would think.

Spottie, Friday, 30 November 2018 18:38 (three years ago) link

it's been quite the misadventure

(•̪●) (carne asada), Friday, 30 November 2018 19:49 (three years ago) link

Dwight is such an inimitable and curiously indescribable figure, i was trying to explain his downfall the other night to someone..."well see he was legitimately great, considered to be likable, and then he went to the Laker and got on Kobe's bad side and started telling dad jokes..."

i couldn't do it past that point.

omar little, Friday, 30 November 2018 23:33 (three years ago) link

lmao

lag∞n, Friday, 30 November 2018 23:59 (three years ago) link

the candy addiction is crucial imo

lag∞n, Friday, 30 November 2018 23:59 (three years ago) link

i guess i could call him a controversy-free* Alex Rodriguez, and somehow the gulf between his desperation to be liked and the reality is even more enormous than A-Rod's.

he's never had a major scandal one can point to, he just shows up with a new franchise and walks into the locker room cracking jokes with his teammates and putting up 16/12 and pretty soon rumors are out that he's going to be fragged on the next road trip.

(*we'll see what occurs with this recent business)

omar little, Saturday, 1 December 2018 01:21 (three years ago) link

god i always forget about the candy thing

omar little, Saturday, 1 December 2018 01:22 (three years ago) link

the candy addiction is just idk its perfect?

lag∞n, Saturday, 1 December 2018 03:39 (three years ago) link

nine months pass...

has dwight been watching demolition man or

Clay, Thursday, 5 September 2019 04:37 (two years ago) link

someone online said he's turned into bobby digital and that seemed otm

big city slam (Spottie), Thursday, 5 September 2019 04:39 (two years ago) link

Dwight Howard said he bought a purple car because he was inspired by Thanos and the sacrifices he had to make to accomplish his goal. Man.

— Christian Rivas (@RadRivas) September 11, 2019

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 22:15 (two years ago) link

one month passes...

lmao

Dwight Howard tried to coin a nickname for the Lakers' second unit tonight: "The Bad News Bears. Not the Bad News Bears in a bad way, but 'we're gonna bring bad news to the other team.' That type of bad news."

— Kyle Goon (@kylegoon) November 4, 2019

lag∞n, Monday, 4 November 2019 03:37 (two years ago) link

he was so good against the spurs. he'll be starting soon. the lbj-ad-dwight frontcourt is so huge and athletic.

i'm not a government man; i'm a government, man. (m bison), Monday, 4 November 2019 03:48 (two years ago) link

Dwight Howard is no longer eating 'McDonald's, chicken wings and honey buns every single day'

https://www.yahoo.com/sports/dwight-howard-is-no-longer-eating-mc-donalds-chicken-wings-and-honey-buns-every-single-day-161434689.html

de-mamba mentality (Spottie), Friday, 8 November 2019 02:36 (two years ago) link

he stopped eating candy but then it took him another 5 years to not eat mcdonalds every day

lag∞n, Friday, 8 November 2019 02:39 (two years ago) link

i swear he has the same set of quotes every season just a slight variation on each one

de-mamba mentality (Spottie), Friday, 8 November 2019 02:41 (two years ago) link

eight months pass...

Why am I not surprised this dumbass already got pinched for not wearing a mask

lol seems like easy money in retrospect

call all destroyer, Saturday, 18 July 2020 01:58 (two years ago) link

dwight just generally not big on prophylactics

circles, Saturday, 18 July 2020 05:09 (two years ago) link

Lol. If you count the farts too my mans got a real problem with expelling

Evans on Hammond (evol j), Sunday, 19 July 2020 02:37 (two years ago) link

two months pass...

he's batman now

Sam Amick: "Dwight Howard apparently liked my idea of going with the "Batman" moniker in this series where he has bullied the "Joker."

"Batman's coming for you, Joker!" he yelled at Nikola Jokic from the bench three times near the end of the first quarter..."

reggae mike love (polyphonic), Wednesday, 23 September 2020 17:58 (one year ago) link

lmao

Spottie, Wednesday, 23 September 2020 17:59 (one year ago) link

one month passes...

All-Star Joel Embiid also began recruiting Howard, sources said.

big mistake buddy!

lag∞n, Saturday, 21 November 2020 03:16 (one year ago) link

those two are gonna be a DELIGHT together

Clay, Saturday, 21 November 2020 04:53 (one year ago) link

three weeks pass...
one month passes...

Dwight says he has started calling Tobias Harris “Prince Harris” because after the shot at the end of the Lakers game, “it was game...blouses”

— Kyle Neubeck (@KyleNeubeck) February 1, 2021

a nice controlled drift (Spottie), Monday, 1 February 2021 03:15 (one year ago) link

SIGH

lag∞n, Monday, 1 February 2021 03:43 (one year ago) link

seven months pass...

its painful how hard he tries and fails to be funny

a talented ‘Rebel’ with Balls (Spottie), Thursday, 23 September 2021 18:03 (ten months ago) link

he clearly grew up watching a lot of eddie murphy

When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 23 September 2021 20:26 (ten months ago) link

referring to dwight as "the champ" is a weird reading of his career imo

"liking" (Clay), Thursday, 23 September 2021 22:35 (ten months ago) link

he claimed it to be true himself before he even was one

a talented ‘Rebel’ with Balls (Spottie), Thursday, 23 September 2021 22:42 (ten months ago) link

seems like the kind of show that would appeal to him: glitzy, cartoonish, stupid, but with a big audience who cheer and scream like mad for every C-List celebrity who shows up.

more difficult than I look (Aimless), Thursday, 23 September 2021 23:29 (ten months ago) link

I think that clip gave me a seizure. The kids these days with their entertainments, I tell ya

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Friday, 24 September 2021 02:01 (ten months ago) link

I still can't believe this show is real

Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 24 September 2021 02:09 (ten months ago) link

singing competition shows seem like such an old fashioned idea, like a thing that was popular in the mid 20th century and no ones thought of them since, except of course theyve been everywhere for the past 20 years

lag∞n, Friday, 24 September 2021 02:17 (ten months ago) link

the masked one is a copy of a korean show iirc

call all destroyer, Friday, 24 September 2021 02:29 (ten months ago) link

ten months pass...

Dwight Howard was a surprise participant at the WWE Tryout in Nashville today. He told me he legit wants to join the WWE one day. pic.twitter.com/LiUnNqPsdv

— Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) July 28, 2022

Spottie, Friday, 29 July 2022 07:18 (one week ago) link

the most obv retirement career for him

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Friday, 29 July 2022 15:09 (one week ago) link


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