rolling thread for chronicling the misadventures of dwight howard, nba center

http://www.slamonline.com/online/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/dwight_howard_groucho_glasses.jpg

http://s23.postimage.org/iltmaaajv/Picture_112.jpg

thesis statement, for posterity: http://deadspin.com/5958111/deadspin-nba-shit-list-dwight-howard-the-superman-of-unfunny

http://larrybrownsports.com/basketball/gregg-popovich-dwight-howard-all-star-game/175883

then

http://larrybrownsports.com/basketball/dwight-howard-denies-gregg-popovich-swearing-at-him/176391

Instead, he says the exchange had to do with confusion over whether it was supposed to be him or Blake Griffin involved with a play.

“Pop was diagramming a play for me, and then as he showed us what to do he kept saying, ‘Blake,’” Howard said according to the LA Times. “So Blake and I are confused, but he keeps saying Blake, so Blake takes off his jersey and goes into the game.

“Pop sees me and wants to know why I’m not in the game running the play, so I tell him he kept saying Blake so Blake went in. He wasn’t swearing at me.”

kind of lol mostly sad

http://i.imgur.com/XL0nbCP.png

media quotes dwight, diwght accuses media of twisting his words http://www.latimes.com/sports/basketball/nba/lakers/la-sp-lakers-fyi-20130307,0,5226872.story

http://espn.go.com/los-angeles/nba/story/_/id/9099510/dwight-howard-los-angeles-lakers-vows-payback-play-golden-state-warriors-david-lee

"He got away with a shot," Howard said, according to Yahoo! Sports. "I will remember this game. I will remember that shot. He said he wasn't trying to do it. You can look at the play and see it for yourself. I will take care of it later."

"I can shoot the ball from anywhere. I've just got to have confidence in myself," Howard said.

http://i.imgur.com/5K6eTCL.png

resonable

http://i.imgur.com/nNUpbLw.jpg

he dances, he is so funny

that picture is kinda perfect w the fish eye, looks like hes pulling reality in

I hope everyone saw Dwights pregame speech from yesterdays game!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kBsnkavkA0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR46eRds0xo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ8N95LIrk8

we really need to get a lip reader on that

Hohotat 9 hours ago
I read his lips. He yelled at Mitch: "Dont put your hands on me like somebodys bit$#h,,,,

yo

nah

i love that the youtube cut ends w/ a split second of kobe being all 'smh'

http://i.imgur.com/dskaYF0.png

"misutilized"??

what the fuck.

Dwight Howard to voice cartoon turkey in time-traveling turkey movie

Two turkeys from opposite sides of the tracks must put aside their differences and team up to travel back in time to change the course of history - and get turkey off the holiday menu for good.

http://www.barstoolsports.com/philly/super-page/dwight-howard-fathered-8-kids-by-8-different-woman-in-6-years/

dwight is a genuinely weird dude

weird dude energy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JweSut18OeM

Please please please don't go to the Warriors

warriors could be a contender w dwight man

dwight should go to cbs on wednesdays at 8:30, do something family-friendly, follow his bliss.

dwight's a jesus dude, iirc, mark jackson might be able to get him to harness his talent more effectively.

dwight has harnessed his talent extremely effectively up to this point

dwight's a jesus dude w/ 8 children by 8 diff't women iirc

dwight thread needs every post to begin with 'dwight'

aldwight, is how its going so far

@MySportsLegion: A Houston adult store is offering Dwight Howard free condoms for life if he signs with the Rockets.”

there's something he actually needs

haha

@WojYahooNBA Holed away in Colorado, the Lakers are still prominent in Dwight Howard's mind, sources tell Y! Rockets remain strong, Warriors lurking.

what's happening here in this tweet, it weirds me out

the poetic woj

what r the lakers doing in colorado, not the best state for them

some nice lakes there

http://www.mountainlake.com/mlp/scenes3/duchar21.jpg

true

http://s3-ak.buzzfeed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/7/3/12/enhanced-buzz-26391-1372870349-2.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BOZYISqCAAErO9b.jpg

That looks like he's making the world bleed.

he is, basically

dwight is gonna play for the los angeles flying bloody horse bridges

the very short version is:

trans woman claims she was in an exclusive relationship with dwight, ended it when it was no longer very exclusive on his end, began getting shady anonymous messages involving bribes then threats, traced them back to dwight’s ppl including his “pastor,” saved a variety of electronic evidence along the way.

some ppl on twitter saying this same person tried to out playboi carti and it turned out to be fake but idk

the thing about the secret phone number reveling app does seem kinda sus

yeah. i cannot vouch for any of the electronic evidence presented.

yes, altho to clarify the accuser in this case is a gay man

So was this all fake or what?

i guess? i didnt see anything conclusive but no news sites touched it

interesting timing on the back surgery. out 3-4 months, essentially out for the year. career likely in jeopardy i would think.

it's been quite the misadventure

Dwight is such an inimitable and curiously indescribable figure, i was trying to explain his downfall the other night to someone..."well see he was legitimately great, considered to be likable, and then he went to the Laker and got on Kobe's bad side and started telling dad jokes..."

i couldn't do it past that point.

lmao

the candy addiction is crucial imo

i guess i could call him a controversy-free* Alex Rodriguez, and somehow the gulf between his desperation to be liked and the reality is even more enormous than A-Rod's.

he's never had a major scandal one can point to, he just shows up with a new franchise and walks into the locker room cracking jokes with his teammates and putting up 16/12 and pretty soon rumors are out that he's going to be fragged on the next road trip.

(*we'll see what occurs with this recent business)

god i always forget about the candy thing

the candy addiction is just idk its perfect?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EDqNg2-UUAASIaJ?format=jpg&name=900x900

has dwight been watching demolition man or

someone online said he's turned into bobby digital and that seemed otm

Dwight Howard said he bought a purple car because he was inspired by Thanos and the sacrifices he had to make to accomplish his goal. Man.

— Christian Rivas (@RadRivas) September 11, 2019

lmao

Dwight Howard tried to coin a nickname for the Lakers' second unit tonight: "The Bad News Bears. Not the Bad News Bears in a bad way, but 'we're gonna bring bad news to the other team.' That type of bad news."

— Kyle Goon (@kylegoon) November 4, 2019

he was so good against the spurs. he'll be starting soon. the lbj-ad-dwight frontcourt is so huge and athletic.

Dwight Howard is no longer eating 'McDonald's, chicken wings and honey buns every single day'

https://www.yahoo.com/sports/dwight-howard-is-no-longer-eating-mc-donalds-chicken-wings-and-honey-buns-every-single-day-161434689.html

he stopped eating candy but then it took him another 5 years to not eat mcdonalds every day

i swear he has the same set of quotes every season just a slight variation on each one

Why am I not surprised this dumbass already got pinched for not wearing a mask

lol seems like easy money in retrospect

dwight just generally not big on prophylactics

Lol. If you count the farts too my mans got a real problem with expelling

he's batman now

Sam Amick: "Dwight Howard apparently liked my idea of going with the "Batman" moniker in this series where he has bullied the "Joker."

"Batman's coming for you, Joker!" he yelled at Nikola Jokic from the bench three times near the end of the first quarter..."

lmao

https://admin.defector.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/28/2020/09/dwighthoward4.gif

http://comicvine1.cbsistatic.com/uploads/original/0/40/1489913-01_copy.png

salut

https://sports.yahoo.com/amphtml/sources-dwight-howard-was-under-the-impression-he-had-offer-from-lakers-signed-with-76-ers-instead-024630843.html?__twitter_impression=true

All-Star Joel Embiid also began recruiting Howard, sources said.

big mistake buddy!

those two are gonna be a DELIGHT together

https://www.tmz.com/2020/12/13/dwight-howard-lawsuit-los-angeles-lakers-nba/

Dwight stiffs snake caregivers

Dwight says he has started calling Tobias Harris “Prince Harris” because after the shot at the end of the Lakers game, “it was game...blouses”

— Kyle Neubeck (@KyleNeubeck) February 1, 2021

SIGH

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOOzpwFn6Tc

its painful how hard he tries and fails to be funny

he clearly grew up watching a lot of eddie murphy

referring to dwight as "the champ" is a weird reading of his career imo

he claimed it to be true himself before he even was one

seems like the kind of show that would appeal to him: glitzy, cartoonish, stupid, but with a big audience who cheer and scream like mad for every C-List celebrity who shows up.

I think that clip gave me a seizure. The kids these days with their entertainments, I tell ya

I still can't believe this show is real

singing competition shows seem like such an old fashioned idea, like a thing that was popular in the mid 20th century and no ones thought of them since, except of course theyve been everywhere for the past 20 years

the masked one is a copy of a korean show iirc

Dwight Howard was a surprise participant at the WWE Tryout in Nashville today. He told me he legit wants to join the WWE one day. pic.twitter.com/LiUnNqPsdv

— Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) July 28, 2022

the most obv retirement career for him