bill simmons IS bill simmons IN the book of BASKETBALL

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...the movie

who's gonna dunk this tome with me over the next few weeks? i love simmons on hoops even when he's challopsy or even just wrong but i think this book might be amazing

sitting in the package on my desk right now to start after cavs/celts when i get home-- thanking u amazon

i'll see you in jamie mccourt then (agent hibachi), Tuesday, 27 October 2009 23:24 (ten years ago) link

speaking of this guy, anyone watching that 30 for 30 series
http://30for30.espn.com/

am0n, Wednesday, 28 October 2009 00:59 (ten years ago) link

a 30 for 30 thread

a goon boy (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 28 October 2009 01:48 (ten years ago) link

i kinda want to read this - i h8 this guys whole steez but sort of love his basketball writing - o jeez i just dont know - ive never read a sports book before this is weird for me

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 28 October 2009 05:15 (ten years ago) link

i started it last night and the prologue is a big sloppy bj for larry bird of course, but its supposed to be a more personal intro before the nitty gritty starts up. i think its tolerable even if yr not a celtics fan and there's lots of good stuff. the footnotes are really funny!

i think there's going to be tons of quality kareem bashing too, which is a big plus in my book

i'll see you in jamie mccourt then (agent hibachi), Wednesday, 28 October 2009 16:54 (ten years ago) link

you should read it ice cr*m, i think if you like his bball writing theres going to be too much fun stuff in here to ignore-- i learned that dave cowens took off a third of a season to DRIVE A CAB

i'll see you in jamie mccourt then (agent hibachi), Wednesday, 28 October 2009 16:55 (ten years ago) link

i missed the colts band 30 for 30 but the other two so far have been great-- thought berg's gretzky one was actually a great film, very cool and affecting, outstanding style

i'll see you in jamie mccourt then (agent hibachi), Wednesday, 28 October 2009 16:56 (ten years ago) link

I don't think I could read an entire book of Simmons' writing.

Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Wednesday, 28 October 2009 18:18 (ten years ago) link

i think i totally could - i just def dont have the time atm

k3vin k., Wednesday, 28 October 2009 18:19 (ten years ago) link

to echo those above, though, it would have to be abt hoops

k3vin k., Wednesday, 28 October 2009 18:20 (ten years ago) link

yeah i'm not sure i'll have time for this until like the holidays

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 28 October 2009 18:25 (ten years ago) link

freedarko book vs book of basketball

am0n, Wednesday, 28 October 2009 19:12 (ten years ago) link

freedarko i have a hard time reading 2 paragraphs - srsly learn writing guys!

ice cr?m, Wednesday, 28 October 2009 19:13 (ten years ago) link

freedarko is awful and dumb imo

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 28 October 2009 19:24 (ten years ago) link

i don't really want to read either of them!

am0n, Wednesday, 28 October 2009 19:25 (ten years ago) link

good thing it's a free country, am0n!

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 28 October 2009 19:34 (ten years ago) link

freedarko book has been sitting on my dresser since the day it dropped, i love those guys tho

a goon boy (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 28 October 2009 20:53 (ten years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jpk_zOfxkhc

am0n, Wednesday, 28 October 2009 20:59 (ten years ago) link

I think Simmons is definitely at his best when he's doing straight NBA analysis, so I'm enjoying this so far (roughly 100pp in). The Isiah/Vegas chapter is really great.

One criticism I have is that weird semantic thing he does sometimes when he's discussing race in sports; for instance, in the Bird chapter he chalks part of Bird's career decline up to "a wave of athletic black forwards that were slowly making the Kelly Tripuckas and Kiki Vandeweghes obsolete."

I don't think anybody who's read Simmons for a while is at risk of misreading that, but I'm kinda surprised they left it in, y'know?

Conservative HOT Mom! (govern yourself accordingly), Thursday, 29 October 2009 01:11 (ten years ago) link

The black is a better athlete to begin with because he's been bred to be that way — because of his high thighs and big thighs that goes up into his back, and they can jump higher and run faster because of their bigger thighs. This goes back all the way to the Civil War when during the slave trading, the owner — the slave owner would breed his big black to his big woman so that he could have a big black kid.

jØrdån (omar little), Thursday, 29 October 2009 01:13 (ten years ago) link

I was a big Jimmy the Greek fan as a little kid and was bummed when they fired him. :/

Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Thursday, 29 October 2009 01:32 (ten years ago) link

this is a little off topic, but I can't stand the way he speaks on podcasts and stuff - sounds like I'm listening to a college sophomore with a bunch of flattened KEYSTONE LIGHT boxes taped to his wall

囧 (dyao), Friday, 30 October 2009 03:25 (ten years ago) link

he's on colbert tonight, should be coming on pretty soon...

a goon boy (J0rdan S.), Friday, 30 October 2009 03:41 (ten years ago) link

this is a little off topic, but I can't stand the way he speaks on podcasts and stuff - sounds like I'm listening to a college sophomore with a bunch of flattened KEYSTONE LIGHT boxes taped to his wall

― 囧 (dyao), Thursday, October 29, 2009 11:25 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i always liked this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQbcVnsK9g8

candice spergin (cankles), Friday, 30 October 2009 03:47 (ten years ago) link

Well, if you look at who he's talking about that replaced Bird, Vandeweigh, and Tripuka, et al., he's not wrong. There were a bunch of really good, athletic power forwards who could run, rebound and dunk over a city bus, who happened to be black. The phrasing is awkward, and makes him seem to be placing the race thing a little high in the analysis.

I am looking forward to this book - his knowledge of NBA stuff is pretty amazing, and he tends to do some pretty inventive statistical analysis.

And yes, this dude was totally a douchebag in college.

Adventures of Dog Boy and Frank Sobotka (B.L.A.M.), Friday, 30 October 2009 16:00 (ten years ago) link

the first real chapter ("the secret") is pretty good. simmon's tim duncan reclamation project is almost working on me. ive always found him the most boring superstar and basically hated him for wiping out the fun-n-suns year after year but always respected him as a player and think he's probably a great guy.

putting him in stark contrast now with shaq: four rings on the same team, cycled through good roleplayers that he made great (both did this), still in title contention with that same team, while shaq is now basically a big media presence journeyman...i think i'm convinced that timmy is the best of the era ending right about now.

i'll see you in jamie mccourt then (agent hibachi), Friday, 30 October 2009 16:40 (ten years ago) link

duncan as the best of his generation is pretty indisputable imo

ice cr?m, Friday, 30 October 2009 16:52 (ten years ago) link

Duncan = not of Kobe's era?

B/c -

Four rings with same team
Cycled through journeymen and made them better
Still in title contention with same team

Could also describe Kobe.

Adventures of Dog Boy and Frank Sobotka (B.L.A.M.), Friday, 30 October 2009 20:21 (ten years ago) link

buddy sry kobe is not better than duncan - also shaq was the best player on 3/4 of those teams

ice cr?m, Friday, 30 October 2009 20:26 (ten years ago) link

1 duncan
2 shaq
then kobe garnett et al

ice cr?m, Friday, 30 October 2009 20:28 (ten years ago) link

says the celts, fan get outta here

anyway duncan and kobe are apples n oranges

k3vin k., Friday, 30 October 2009 20:49 (ten years ago) link

lol "celts fan, get"

k3vin k., Friday, 30 October 2009 20:49 (ten years ago) link

as afar as know neither duncan or shaq are or have ever been on the celtics

ice cr?m, Friday, 30 October 2009 20:50 (ten years ago) link

fan, get as afar as know

ice cr?m, Friday, 30 October 2009 20:51 (ten years ago) link

In school, Duncan was a bright pupil and dreamt of becoming an Olympic-level swimmer like his sister, Tricia.[5][6] His parents were very supportive and Duncan excelled at swimming, becoming a teenage standout in the 50, 100 and 400 meters freestyle and aiming to make the 1992 Olympic Games as a member of the United States Team.[5]

When Hurricane Hugo destroyed the island's only Olympic-sized swimming pool in 1989, forcing Duncan to swim in the ocean, he soon lost enthusiasm because of his fear of sharks.[4]

this is why he's #1

chemical ali v. chemical frazier (m bison), Friday, 30 October 2009 21:19 (ten years ago) link

also spurs teams with duncan on them have never won fewer than 53 games (lockout season excepted)

chemical ali v. chemical frazier (m bison), Friday, 30 October 2009 21:28 (ten years ago) link

buddy sry kobe is not better than duncan

http://hillbilly10commandments.com/images/moses3.bmp

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 30 October 2009 22:31 (ten years ago) link

huh, i never really think about kobe v duncan.

like kobe used to get compared to his contemporaries like pierce, ray allen, carter, mcgrady, but now that it's clear that none of them are as good as he is, he tends to get compared to jordan and maybe lebron.

they're definitely the best of the nba players who emerged in the late '90s, and both of them started out on teams that were immediately successful, but in terms of position and temperament they're completely different.

circles, Friday, 30 October 2009 22:44 (ten years ago) link

yah its a tough comparison but i think if kobe goes on a run the next few years with a ring or two and consistent finals appearances before he starts to decline, we'll end up looking at the 08 lakers/celts series as the start of the post-timmy era...esp if TD doesn't get another ring before he retires. i tend to think that kobe's first three rings dont count quite as much *for him* in this kind of discussion because he wasn't the undisputed leader of those teams. even more so than points, stats, etc i think thats what simmons convinced me about-- even on the 99 team with robinson, it was absolutely td's team.

i'll see you in jamie mccourt then (agent hibachi), Saturday, 31 October 2009 00:11 (ten years ago) link

bought this book today iirc. chapter one was great--plenty of lols and good writing.

call all destroyer, Saturday, 31 October 2009 00:20 (ten years ago) link

bill simmons is sitting in with the commentators @ celtics/bulls rite now

am0n, Saturday, 31 October 2009 01:01 (ten years ago) link

not a good voice

am0n, Saturday, 31 October 2009 01:02 (ten years ago) link

never heard him before colbert, if anything douchier than advertised

5-23-09 CLUTCH & EVIL LOOK (tremendoid), Saturday, 31 October 2009 04:18 (ten years ago) link

haha ive heard him like 100x via podcasts and such, but yeah as much as i like dude he gets frattier every element of him you discover writing -> voice -> irl

k3vin k., Saturday, 31 October 2009 04:20 (ten years ago) link

yeah i don't mind reading him actually, lets you know where he stands and puts teeth into it. entertaining as far as it goes

5-23-09 CLUTCH & EVIL LOOK (tremendoid), Saturday, 31 October 2009 04:35 (ten years ago) link

i remember when he was on colbert a while back, he got booed when he made fun of clinton for throwing like a girl

candice spergin (cankles), Saturday, 31 October 2009 09:33 (ten years ago) link

yah its a tough comparison but i think if kobe goes on a run the next few years with a ring or two and consistent finals appearances before he starts to decline, we'll end up looking at the 08 lakers/celts series as the start of the post-timmy era...esp if TD doesn't get another ring before he retires. i tend to think that kobe's first three rings dont count quite as much *for him* in this kind of discussion because he wasn't the undisputed leader of those teams. even more so than points, stats, etc i think thats what simmons convinced me about-- even on the 99 team with robinson, it was absolutely td's team.

This is what is going to make the Western Conf. so interesting this year. They both have good teams and something to prove.

Adventures of Dog Boy and Frank Sobotka (B.L.A.M.), Saturday, 31 October 2009 15:09 (ten years ago) link

I can't imagine "something to prove" matters as much to Tim as it does to Kobes. I'm not trying to argue Duncan isn't driven or whatever, I just don't think he cares as much about what people think about him. (Tbf, he also doesn't have as much negativity to cope with.)

This part of the sentence is even dumber. (lukas), Saturday, 31 October 2009 15:15 (ten years ago) link

Yeah. That's probably a pretty fair assessment on both of them.

Ultraviolet Thunder (B.L.A.M.), Saturday, 31 October 2009 21:49 (ten years ago) link

Have purchased. Have read the first 100 or so pages. Have learned a lot about Boston basketball. Woo, this guy is a HOMER.

Ultraviolet Thunder (B.L.A.M.), Sunday, 1 November 2009 15:47 (ten years ago) link

...disagree

lag∞n, Friday, 26 June 2020 15:51 (three months ago) link

what did you learn from that article other than he’s an overambitious cutthroat brown noser?

k3vin k., Friday, 26 June 2020 17:02 (three months ago) link

thats good enough for me

methinks dababy doth bop shit too much (m bison), Friday, 26 June 2020 17:03 (three months ago) link

also a tantrum throwing lil bitch, i dont think any of those things are insubstantial, its a particular type of behavior that makes life shitty for people who have to be around people like him

lag∞n, Friday, 26 June 2020 17:56 (three months ago) link

sure but these stories have been around forever, it's also a trait that is pretty much universal among people with his kind of clout. and again the article started off like it was going to be some sort of takedown of him as a racist (which may still be true) but ended up just being abbott airing his own personal grievances. it was petty and embarrassing given the moment

k3vin k., Friday, 26 June 2020 18:17 (three months ago) link

idk it's one of those things where if you come at someone like simmons you better really come correct and it was mostly just a bunch of workplace gossip

k3vin k., Friday, 26 June 2020 18:19 (three months ago) link

the article started off like it was going to be some sort of takedown of him as a racist (which may still be true) but ended up just being abbott airing his own personal grievances. it was petty and embarrassing given the moment

this is otm

mookieproof, Friday, 26 June 2020 18:20 (three months ago) link

sure but these stories have been around forever, it's also a trait that is pretty much universal among people with his kind of clout.

― k3vin k., Friday, June 26, 2020 2:17 PM (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

untrue and frankly pretty toxic

lag∞n, Friday, 26 June 2020 18:20 (three months ago) link

still a fun read!

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Friday, 26 June 2020 18:22 (three months ago) link

At both his sites, he has collected writers like they’re trophies he can display in his mancave. He hasn’t learned a thing from any of them.

this rings true for Dave Chang, as well. Bill remains committed to chicken parm.

the warm seafood salad that exists (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 26 June 2020 21:00 (three months ago) link

tbf chang likes ch parm too

lag∞n, Friday, 26 June 2020 21:07 (three months ago) link

Bill goes to fancy restaurants and orders the steak

reggae mike love (polyphonic), Friday, 26 June 2020 21:25 (three months ago) link

the henry abbott piece is great gossip but it also makes abbott look like a fucking insane person... as none of us are personally involved we can just enjoy it for bringing drama

J0rdan S., Friday, 26 June 2020 22:01 (three months ago) link

yeah i came out of it liking both of them less. here for the dramz tho of course

Spottie, Friday, 26 June 2020 22:14 (three months ago) link

i got more out of the tweets abbott collected than anything he said in his piece

ACABincalifornia (voodoo chili), Friday, 26 June 2020 23:34 (three months ago) link

lol

as an editor, i surprisingly often have to nix the 'taking talents to' formulation

mookieproof, Sunday, 28 June 2020 03:19 (three months ago) link

you certainly don't want things of that nature slipping into the pieces you edit

the unappreciated charisma of cows (Aimless), Sunday, 28 June 2020 03:32 (three months ago) link

talents, crab rangoon, things of that nature

mookieproof, Sunday, 28 June 2020 03:44 (three months ago) link

lol someones gotta dig into what simmons said over the years about the decision

lag∞n, Sunday, 28 June 2020 03:46 (three months ago) link

ahaha, he literally pitched it to maverick carter or whoever?

circles, Sunday, 28 June 2020 04:12 (three months ago) link

yeap

lag∞n, Sunday, 28 June 2020 14:49 (three months ago) link

that’s wiiiiild

the beauty of podcasts is it’s hard to find actual records of takes but I know for sure he has repeatedly said stuff about how the decision was a failure of having the wrong people around him or whatever back then. this is hilarious

k3vin k., Sunday, 28 June 2020 15:30 (three months ago) link

lool

lag∞n, Sunday, 28 June 2020 15:34 (three months ago) link

see if i were bill simmons i wouldve played it real cool everytime the topic came up

lag∞n, Sunday, 28 June 2020 15:52 (three months ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/Y4QUqa5.png

lag∞n, Sunday, 28 June 2020 15:54 (three months ago) link

Every life event is like sports. Every sports event is like a movie. Every movie is rewatchable.

the warm seafood salad that exists (Sufjan Grafton), Sunday, 28 June 2020 16:28 (three months ago) link

-Buddha Simmons

the warm seafood salad that exists (Sufjan Grafton), Sunday, 28 June 2020 16:28 (three months ago) link

imagining myself listening to a podcast of simmons rewatching goodfellas then becoming the unibomber

lag∞n, Sunday, 28 June 2020 16:31 (three months ago) link

https://www.espn.com/general/page2/story?id=5366996&src=desktop

Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 28 June 2020 19:28 (three months ago) link

TLDR:

“So when Clemens went to Toronto, got in shape, won two straight Cy Youngs and forced a trade to the Yankees, really, a column called "Is Clemens the Antichrist?" became inevitable as soon as I found a bigger forum to write it. I hated that guy as much as you could hate a professional athlete without things getting creepy.

And you know what? What LeBron did to Cleveland last night was worse. Much worse.

It's one thing to leave. I get it. You're 25. You don't know any better. You're tired of carrying mediocre teams. You want help. You want the luxury of not having to play a remarkable game every single night for eight straight months. You want to live in South Beach. You want to play with your buddies. I get it. I get it. But turning that decision into a one-hour special, pretending that it hadn't been decided weeks ago, using a charity as your cover-up and ramming a pitchfork in Cleveland's back like you were at the end of a Friday the 13th movie and Cleveland was Jason ... there just had to be a better way.”

Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 28 June 2020 19:29 (three months ago) link

lool

lag∞n, Sunday, 28 June 2020 19:37 (three months ago) link

i want netw3rk to do the whole nba desktop about this. get all the articles, pod audio, and video clips lined up and just completely roast his boss.

circles, Monday, 29 June 2020 02:02 (three months ago) link

bill is a good sport he would like that

lag∞n, Monday, 29 June 2020 02:05 (three months ago) link

wait.... this news... what the fuck lmao

J0rdan S., Monday, 29 June 2020 02:11 (three months ago) link

when i read the report it seemed like there were 8 critical things that occurred between the mailbag column and the decision itself and it wasn't really that interesting

call all destroyer, Monday, 29 June 2020 02:26 (three months ago) link

the thing that nobody involved at any point could know is that lebron would choose miami and say "i'm taking my talents to south beach"

J0rdan S., Monday, 29 June 2020 02:32 (three months ago) link

you can take a horse to water, but you can't make it light itself on fire and then drown

J0rdan S., Monday, 29 June 2020 02:33 (three months ago) link

yup

call all destroyer, Monday, 29 June 2020 02:39 (three months ago) link

lmao this is amazing

frogbs, Monday, 29 June 2020 02:47 (three months ago) link

bill is a good sport he would like that


Would he tho?

Spottie, Monday, 29 June 2020 02:48 (three months ago) link

he does love content, idk.

obviously lebron is responsible for how it went down, but the fact that simmons did what he did to get the ball rolling is hilarious to me.

circles, Monday, 29 June 2020 02:59 (three months ago) link

its very funny, and then he just carried on like he didnt do it

lag∞n, Monday, 29 June 2020 03:03 (three months ago) link

bill is not a good sport for the record i was just kidding

lag∞n, Monday, 29 June 2020 03:03 (three months ago) link

yeah he is a guy who for better or worse likes to make predictions and brag about his correct predictions and it’s something you think he’d mention when the topic comes up if he were proud of it

k3vin k., Monday, 29 June 2020 03:04 (three months ago) link

bill setting it up and immediately armchair fan tut-tutting the thing is just so pure

Clay, Monday, 29 June 2020 03:30 (three months ago) link

one month passes...

whats a cheap assist lol

Bill Simmons' in his latest podcast: "Luka's assists are like Bird's - they're not cheap assists... like the James Harden type of assists'.

— Andrew Soukup (@asoukuptx) August 10, 2020

lag∞n, Tuesday, 11 August 2020 00:35 (one month ago) link

crash toward the basket and kick it out for a three?

DJI, Tuesday, 11 August 2020 00:47 (one month ago) link

BS almost ruins Luka for me

it's a spicy dinner we're having (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 11 August 2020 00:52 (one month ago) link

he was basically talking about seeing passes that most ppl don't see vs. passing to a spot and knowing someone is there. it was pretty forced.

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 11 August 2020 01:30 (one month ago) link


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