2019 nba OFFSEASON news, rumors, drama, and recriminations

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Reading ESPN's latest NBA Mock Draft results, and while some have called 2019 a "weak year" for the draft, I have decided that this is a bumper crop... FOR NAMES I AM EXCITED TO SAY OUT LOUD. I tried to be conservative when copy/pasting my favourite names from the list of sixty, but still ended up pulling... 22 of them? Obviously this was too many to simply rank so I put them in nine tiers. FRIENDS, FOES AND PEOPLE I'VE YET TO CATEGORIZE AS EITHER, PLEASE ENJOY THIS PRESENTATION OF "WILL RANKS THE TOP NAMES OF THE ESPN MOCK DRAFT 2019 OF THE NBA IN MAY BEFORE THE LOTTERY."

TIER 9: The "mock drafters picked these players 20th and 21st, and i'll be goddamned if i don't mix them and/or their names up forever" tier: Nickeil Alexander-Walker, Talen Horton-Tucker
TIER 8: the "hey that's who i cosplayed in my most recent historical recreation" tier: Admiral Schofield, Louis King
TIER 7: the "wwe local competitor/enhancement talent" tier: Jaxson Hayes, Nic Claxton
TIER 6: the "basketball player? or retirement village?" tier: Tremont Waters, Shamorie Ponds
TIER 5: the "doesn't afraid of anything" tier: Tyler Herro
TIER 4: the "it'll take america 5 years to learn to pronounce this" tier: Matisse Thybulle, Luguentz Dort, Mfiondu Kabengele, Deividas Sirvydis
TIER 3: the "it'll take america 5 seconds to learn to pronounce this, and they will say it over and over because it's so fun" tier: Chuma Okeke, Rui Hachimura, Miye Oni
TIER 2: the "didn't that guy die in a Bauhaus song?" tier: Goga Bitadze

and finally the TIER 1 OPERATORS, the TOP 5 NAMES, the names so good they never need to play a game of basketball to be burnt into my memory forever (but i hope they all play and succeed and make up an entire all-star team one day):
5. K.Z. Okpala
4. Quinndary Weatherspoon
3. Zion Williamson
2. Zylan Cheatham
1. Bol Bol

deus ex majima (Will M.), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 21:12 (five years ago) link

what are the lottery changes, just flattened odds and they draw 4 teams instead of 3 before going to record?

ciderpress, Tuesday, 14 May 2019 21:46 (five years ago) link

yes and yes

deus ex majima (Will M.), Tuesday, 14 May 2019 21:51 (five years ago) link

ja morant is very nervous

lag∞n, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:05 (five years ago) link

v excited to learn where my son will be playing basketball this fall

Clay, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:26 (five years ago) link

rooting for the knicks tbh sue me

k3vin k., Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:31 (five years ago) link

ny/phx/cle is some sort of reverse sophie's choice scenario

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:32 (five years ago) link

jay williams just called zion a change agent

lag∞n, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:34 (five years ago) link

he also said he "composited a list"

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:34 (five years ago) link

lol

lag∞n, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:35 (five years ago) link

rmde

Clay, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:43 (five years ago) link

lakers moved up........

lag∞n, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:43 (five years ago) link

the fuuuuuuuuuuuuck

be the 2 chainz you want 2 see in the world (m bison), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:43 (five years ago) link

they deserve it

ciderpress, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:43 (five years ago) link

Oh my

(•̪●) (carne asada), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:43 (five years ago) link

grizz in the mix

lag∞n, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:44 (five years ago) link

Damn chi

(•̪●) (carne asada), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:44 (five years ago) link

jesus

lag∞n, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:44 (five years ago) link

if the fuckin lakers get the goddamn #1 pick

be the 2 chainz you want 2 see in the world (m bison), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:44 (five years ago) link

pelis too

Clay, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:44 (five years ago) link

lol knicks and lakers my stars

Clay, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:45 (five years ago) link

this is cray

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:45 (five years ago) link

these new odds

lag∞n, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:45 (five years ago) link

chaos reigns

Clay, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:45 (five years ago) link

Fuuuuuuuck

Heez, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:46 (five years ago) link

the fix is in

k3vin k., Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:46 (five years ago) link

Rigged fake hoax imo

(•̪●) (carne asada), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:46 (five years ago) link

Wow this is madness

but I can't let Trae do it I got Huerter on my mind (Spottie), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:46 (five years ago) link

Tanking is dead

but I can't let Trae do it I got Huerter on my mind (Spottie), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:47 (five years ago) link

praying for griz & pelicans

lag∞n, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:47 (five years ago) link

Tanking is dead

― but I can't let Trae do it I got Huerter on my mind (Spottie), Tuesday, May 14, 2019 7:47 PM (forty-six seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yupppppppp

be the 2 chainz you want 2 see in the world (m bison), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:48 (five years ago) link

i dont care who gets #1 as long as its not the lakers, jesus

be the 2 chainz you want 2 see in the world (m bison), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:48 (five years ago) link

zion 50/50 chance of going to LA or NY in like 2 minutes this is not ideal my boy

Clay, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:49 (five years ago) link

YES

Clay, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:50 (five years ago) link

lmaoooooooooooooo

be the 2 chainz you want 2 see in the world (m bison), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:50 (five years ago) link

haa yess

lag∞n, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:50 (five years ago) link

fuckin lol

lag∞n, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:50 (five years ago) link

Ok ok

(•̪●) (carne asada), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:51 (five years ago) link

saved

ciderpress, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:51 (five years ago) link

pelicans should trade this pick for anthony davis

Clay, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:51 (five years ago) link

ant davis is staying

be the 2 chainz you want 2 see in the world (m bison), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:51 (five years ago) link

Hahahahaha

EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:51 (five years ago) link

this is the funniest outcome possible

Jeff Bathos (symsymsym), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:51 (five years ago) link

Amazing

but I can't let Trae do it I got Huerter on my mind (Spottie), Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:52 (five years ago) link

ja is a great fit for memphis imo

Clay, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:52 (five years ago) link

dude what the hell this is madness

k3vin k., Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:53 (five years ago) link

the pelicans don't deserve zion imo this is lame

k3vin k., Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:53 (five years ago) link

hahahahahah

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:53 (five years ago) link

new york and la got owned so i'm good

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:54 (five years ago) link

that was funny as hell

lag∞n, Wednesday, 15 May 2019 00:54 (five years ago) link


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