rolling thread for chronicling the misadventures of dwight howard, nba center

Garrison Keillor?

Rick Perry?

barry switzer?

Joe Schlabotnik?

oh sorry guys aimless got it, it was the governor of texas rick perry

the girl who convinced her boyfriend to kill himself?

it was actually amanda palmer and jonathan chait sorry i had some bad info

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31v3dSgOo9L._SY300_.jpg

why did d11 skip to d13?

because fuck d12

Send him to Sacramento, imo

thats really where he needs to be. or the knicks

adam silver gotta make this happen

what wld really be ideal is... the nets, but they have lopez

but why let that stop u u know

twin injury prone immobile centers would be an amazing experiment

basically stick one on either end of the floor and they dont move the whole game. they dont even come into the locker room at halftime, then they switch roles by virtue of changing sides.

play them both 40 mpg and they dont break a sweat

didnt vivek have that plan for the kings

yesssss

i have no idea how this wasnt a tech

http://i.imgur.com/WJAHYvk.gif

the ball stuck to his hand

hahah

Will his health hold up, specifically a back that was surgically repaired in 2012 (he also missed 52 games in his first two seasons in Houston with a variety of ailments, mostly knee)?

“My back hasn’t been an issue, and I don’t think I’ll ever have an issue out of my back for the rest of my career,” he said without pause.

good luck with that

http://i.imgur.com/senGFZJ.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/senGFZJ.gifhttp://i.imgur.com/senGFZJ.gif

https://sports.yahoo.com/dwight-howard-spent-sunday-trading-insults-teens-twitter-193535289.html

lol @ dwight spending an afternoon zinging children on twitter dot com

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DGUgEAWUIAQn0jw.jpg

one of the more mortifying humans

https://atrl.net/uploads/emoticons/ace.gif

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lmaaaaooo

On his latest Podcast, ESPN.com’s Zach Lowe said he said heard stories of:

“Hawks players learning about the trade and screaming with jubilation into their phones…

“You ask why, and one account was that Dwight would give these speeches before the game about how everyone is playing hard, we want unity, we’re going to… and then go out and play like a blah game where he demands post touches and doesn’t rotate as hard as he could. And everyone is like, ‘Why are you speaking in the locker room?’ But that’s all anecdotal. It’s just crazy how these stories come out after every stop in his career.”

https://media.tenor.com/images/c29042655e00a197ecaa837c771575b3/tenor.gif

i have questions, dwight pic.twitter.com/cNdM8jGJLU

— josh (@HoopPlusTheHarm) November 25, 2017

what is Dwight gonna do after he retires other than get his pitch rejected by tnt

well it looks like hes not having more kids

dwight...

lol 35K fine for that

shouldve been his entire estate

listen dwight everyone was fed up w yr shit 5 years ago, this time the fine is: death

lol

This is absolutely amazing.

MCW unable to attempt free throws in blowout, so Scott Brooks chooses Dwight Howard and makes him come back onto court to shoot

Dwight drains both, does Cassell big balls dance, blows Brooks a kiss 💀#PettyWarz pic.twitter.com/qPhV6jdlVp

— Pettywise (@World_Wide_Wob) January 18, 2018

Wishing all of the super dads of #BuzzCity a Happy Father’s Day! pic.twitter.com/P0HBtb2ad8

— Charlotte Hornets (@hornets) June 17, 2018

How many kids does dude have

pic.twitter.com/U6MItrcV0S

— Nick Whalen (@wha1en) July 23, 2018

Dwight Howard’s trainer: ‘He wants to evolve into Anthony Davis, into Kevin Durant, but his own version of that’ https://t.co/6OPjmDfX6L

— Kurt Helin (@basketballtalk) August 14, 2018

Beal and Wall are literally going to murder him

...and then each other

for my part i believe in his 15th season dwight howard will definitely come to resemble either anthony davis or kevin durant, two of the most physically gifted basketball players ever who are playing in their primes and in ways that dwight howard has never, ever, remotely played like before

DWIGHT HOWARD DAD JOKES ALERT

Reporter to Dwight Howard: “Do you envision shooting any 3-pointers this year.”

Dwight: Hold on...

[He closes eyes and makes an intense face for three seconds.]

Dwight, again: Yep, I just made 3.

— Fred Katz (@FredKatz) September 24, 2018

lol pretty good tbf